Do you ask for help when needed?

[lovemygoofy]

I'm so very bad about asking for help when I need it. I'm about to have a crash course in humility and asking for help.

I broke my ankle and the doctor is telling me there is no other way besides the old fashion plaster cast for at least 6 weeks. Apparently the break is so bad, that the doctor isn't convinced the cast will even repair this break.

The kicker?? It's my right ankle, the driving foot. I'm going to have to learn to ask for help whether it's a ride to the grocery store or make it a point to ask for someone for company like lunch out or a movie. My husband is away again for at least another 5 weeks so I will have to rely on the kindness of others. I just hate to be a burden on someone.

So what about those here? Do you ask for help easily? Does it make you feel bad to ask for help?

 

[Acklander]

I hate asking for help - I don't like to be a burden and put other people out. BUT you know that good feeling you get when you help out someone else who's in a bind??? Think of it as a way to allow someone to get that good feeling

Hope you feel better soon

 

[java]

I hate asking for help, but the best things are friends that realize you need help and just do.

You don't have a choice. You have to ask for help. Find a good friend and ask for a routine of sorts. Like a shopping morning day of the week.

Hope you are feeling better. See this is what happens when you exercise!

 

[kimblebee]

I don't like asking for help either. I have MS and am a single parent to my daughter. When I am having an attack I am not able to take care of myself or her so I ask for help because otherwise, we would suffer. Luckily, everyone is more than happy to help and I never feel like a burden

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OMG. You are going to need a lot of help.

My sister had ankle reconstruction surgery and now she is helping out the SIL who broke her ankle in a car accident. That is in addition to caring for her MIL who is dying of cancer.

The SIL had to have 2 plates and many screws put into her ankle to repair it. Do you need ankle surgery to have a full repair?

 

[Christine]

I actually don't have any problems asking. Not sure why. But I always worry that I am inconveniencing someone.

So I guess you found an orthopedist? Who did you pick and did you like them? Inquiring minds want to know!!

Oh, and if you get in a bind, let me know. I'm not far from you at all and am free most weekends. It's a great way to meet!

 

[golfgal]

I would hope for all you do for everyone else that you will be having people knocking down your door to help--then you wouldn't need to "ask" . I don't like asking for help much either-small things like carpools for the kids or whatnot aren't a big deal but for 6 weeks of needing help I would have a hard time asking too.

Do you have any grocery delivery places near you??

 

[dislaney]

I have a hard time asking for help too. So sorry about your ankle.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Thanks for the well wishes!! I'm a little freaked out by this as you can imagine but hey it can't be as bad as shoveling 40 inches of snow can it?

MM, I don't know if I'll need full on surgery yet or not. This ankle injur is a loooong drawn out process tht if the medical and insurance around here didn't suck would already been taken care of before my husband had to leave. The doctor said because my ankle has been broken for quite a long time that he is worried it won't grow back together naturally.

Christine, I saw Foot and Ankle doctor in Arlington named Buchanan. I really liked him as well as his entire staff. He is right off Army Navy Drive at Glebe Rd.

GG, I know we have a peapod truck that comes into the neighborhood. That might be a good option for my fresh produce. I'm stocking up my pantry and freezer this weekend. I'm also planning to cook or prepare several meals in proportions for easy heat up.


I'm trying to keep a good frame of mind about all this. I like to think this is God's kick in my butt to get the last 6lbs off so I hit 50lbs lost. I guess crutching my fat *** around for the next 6 weeks or so will do it

 

[4nana]

In the case of a true ER, we have no problem asking for help . However, as seniors DH and I try to be self sufficient as we don't want to ever feel a burden to anyone. Our kids sometimes get uspet over our all mighty independence and occassionally we're read the riot act . We know that day is dawning, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Sorry about your ankle, ((big hugs)) and best wishes with your healing process Tina. BIG Congrats on the weight loss also girl!

 

[hercamore]

Sorry to hear about your ankle and your hubby deployed as well.

If it were me, I'd be hiring a personal shopping service , or using a grocery delivery or hiring a medi van service to tote me around if I needs to get out of the housE

 

[NotUrsula]

Well, at least ask if you can have GoreTex -- plaster stinks (literally).

If you have to ask for help you have to ask, but as someone who lived without a car (in a rural area) for years, I'd advise stocking up on small bills so you can easily reimburse for gasoline, and also try to be compulsive about making lists and planning ahead in order to minimize the number of times that you'll need to be driven somewhere.

Do you still live close to a Metro stop? I'd use it as often as possible in situations where you won't need to carry too much. (Use a small backpack).

 

[1stluvispooh]

Tina,
So sorry about your ankle. And no I don't ask for help when I need it but I am the first to offer it to a friend. If it makes you feel better think of it as that persons way of paying you back for your husbands service to our country. If you look at it like that it's just a drop in the bucket!

 

[Briarmom]

Dancing in platforms again?

Girl, what did you do?!

Yeah, I hate asking for help. I'll pretty much do anything to avoid it. I don't mind helping people if I can, but lately I've been so wrapped up in school I can't even do that.

Congrats on the weight loss!

 

[traviesojmt]

My DH (currently deployed) told his office that if I call for help somebody better come running because the only way they would hear from me while he is gone is if someone is dying or on fire. LOL He made me promise to at least answer the phone when they call to do their friendly "is there anything you need" calls. I have no idea why I am the way I am. I don't mind helping others if they need help. For some unknown reason, I will do everything possible to do something on my own before I even consider calling someone else.

Tina, at this point, I can see myself trying to teach myself to drive with my left foot while my DH is yelling at me from Iraq to "for the love of God, call for help." LOL Bless the man that puts up with my sometimes stubborn, sometimes stupid streak.

Sorry that you are going through this. When my DH deployed, I made up deployment rules for the kids. Rule #1: No broken bones Rule #2 No ER visits Rule #3 No one gets sick Rule #4 No breaking the rules. The kids had a good laugh about the rules. We still have a month left so I don't want to jinx it, but so far we have gotten by with just one small case of strep.

Isn't their someone in the rear whose job it is to help you while he is gone?

 

[mommasita]

First off. I am so darn sorry for you. I hope it heals better than the Dr's anticipate.

I am HORRENDOUS at asking for help, but would not mind helping anyone else out in this situation, or basically any at all. I could not drive for a LONG time after my surgery, and had to ask to get my kids from A to B, was it easy? LOL NO WAY, and I hated it. Surely you know that people won't mind helping you, but I understand how hard it is for you.

Tina, you honestly don't have a choice doll. I so wish I lived near ya. I would be helping you out.

 

[Liberty Belle]

First off. I am so darn sorry for you. I hope it heals better than the Dr's anticipate.

I am HORRENDOUS at asking for help, but would not mind helping anyone else out in this situation, or basically any at all. I could not drive for a LONG time after my surgery, and had to ask to get my kids from A to B, was it easy? LOL NO WAY, and I hated it. Surely you know that people won't mind helping you, but I understand how hard it is for you.

Tina, you honestly don't have a choice doll. I so wish I lived near ya. I would be helping you out.

Me, too. If it were up to people on here, I think Tina wouldn't have a spare moment to herself. You are loved!

I have a hard time asking for help, too. I think it might be easier in your situation because there's really nothing else you can do. There's no way you can drive. It's not like you're being a baby or weak - you just absolutely cannot do it.

I'm certain your friends and neighbors will be happy to help you. In fact, you'll probably be doing them a favor. I know I'd feel good if I were able to help someone, especially someone as nice as you.

 

[travelbug]

I'm so sorry to hear about your broken ankle, and that it's your driving foot on top of it. Bummer!

I really sympathize with you on how hard it is to ask for help. Almost exactly 2 years ago, I had a bad fall and broke my shoulder right at the joint. It was my right shoulder, and I'm right handed. I had to rely on others for EVERYTHING for quite a while - driving me to PT 3x a week and numerous dr. appointments, grocery shopping, cutting my grass, even things as simple as opening cans and jars. I was on full disability for 2.5 months, and on partial disability for another 2.5 months (complications; needed surgical procedure).

I was fortunate that a large circle of friends and family helped me, often offering before I even had to ask. They even came often to take me out for lunch, dinner or other fun things so I didn't feel so isolated. It was a good learning experience for me, accepting help and putting my usual independence on the back burner for a while. It also taught me new empathy for others who need help when they are unable to do for themselves. I've had the chance to pass along help to a couple others in similar situations, which I've been happy to do.

I encourage you to not hesitate to ask for help as you need it and to accept it when it's offered. I think most people who offer help are sincere and glad to follow through with the help they offer.

Take care of yourself and I hope you heal quickly!!

 

[PatsMom]

When I shattered my right ankle, I had an awful time asking for help. For financial reasons, I had to return to work before even the surgical incisions were healed and I was still in a temporary case. My husband was recently retired (made him a deal he couldn't refuse) so we were living on my paycheck and his pension and paying our mortgage out of our savings. So I had to go back to work.

I couldn't carry things but discovered some creative ways to get around that. Put a tote bag around your neck and use that. But opening tough doorways just couldn't happen. One of my best work friends did warm up my lunch every day since I couldn't get into the kitchen. And our receptionist who was an angel used to fill up my water glass for me whenever he got up to go to the kitchen!

I did eventually have to ask for help. My husband had to go out of town and my sister in law came to take me shopping. She also came a few times to do the housework - it is very hard to scrub your toilets balancing on one knee!

My thoughts are with you Tina - give in and ask for help. Most people are happy to help out. Also, just as an FYI, during the three months I was non-weight bearing, my arm muscles became so sculpted that I would wear sleeveless for the first time in a long time the next summer! And I lost around 10 pounds between the exertion of walking on crutches and it being so much trouble to get up and get to the kitchen for food!