Divorce $ ?

[Katy Belle]

OP here... It is actually the xwife who is to inherit a bunch of money from her Mother's estate. I guess her xhusband will still have to pay the $3000 a month. That is probably fine with him, I'm just being nosy here anyway!

The speculation is that the xhusband makes about $100,000 a year. They live in an area that I would call middle ground, as far as expenses are concerned.

 

[Darcy03231]

Laws vary from state to state, but generally an inheritance after a divorce won't affect child support unless the inheritance produces income for one party or the other, since child support is based on income.

 

[southern_redhead]

I didn't say $3000 was a token amount. I said, what if someone IS paying a token amount. In fact, I specifically mentioned $100/month as an example.

Except that IF that's the court ordered child support then the courts clearly don't feel that's a "token" amount from the dad.

DH and I have a pretty high combined income but $3000 a month would kill us. People tend to forget that that the NCP has living expenses, too. I would think $3000 p mo on $100,000 a year still hurts. ESPECIALLY, if (like many NCPs) he still gets dinged with money for field trips, school supplies, sports uniforms, health insurance/medical costs, etc... Not saying he IS but I know lots of NCP in that situation. Most of them are men, because most NCP I know are men BUT the system is set to s**w the NCP. It takes two to tango - if the CP didn't want/couldn't support a child they shouldn't have had them either.

In the OPs friends situation, though, it really shouldn't affect the NCPs CS. That inheritance is for her. She can use it for her kids but she CAN blow it in Vegas if she wants. It still stands that it is *her* inheritance and not the children's.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I can't help to wonder... 3k a month for child support? is there a lot of children!!

I receive 600.00 a month for one child here in New York State based on my DD's birth fathers middle class income (standard 17% plus a percentage to cover daycare etc)

sorry couldnt help but to be nosey

That's $1k per child (the OP mentioned 3 children). DH was paying that much $1k for each child from his previous marriage up until our last court date when it was finally calculated a bit more fairly. It's still not much less than that. His ex does not work at all. She considers the child support "her income" but that is a whole other thread not for the DIS.

that's my understanding, yes. Before my DH and I got married he called his attorney and asked all of these questions because the "what if's" concerned me. Could his ex try for more because of my income or if I got an inheritance, etc . If he wins the lottery, it's considered "winnings" which are not normal income. And I'm sorry, but if that woman is getting $ 3,000 a month in child support, that is hardly "a token amount " that he's paying.

People forget that sometimes the ex is extremely greedy. It's not always the case where the men are crap. Trust me, my DH gives pays his fair share in child support but what people also don't account for, is that we also pay 100% of daycare when she is in our care, 100% of clothing and food costs for her at our home, 100% of supplies that she needs (for whatever). WE don't get half of that nor do we get to deduct that from child support. In our case, she moved in order to drastically lower her expenses. She uses the money on herself, not on my step daughter. It's extremely upsetting. Just because this man wins a lottery or gets an inheritance does not make it fair game for the ex to demand. This is NOT what he earned from his income from work. Child support is a % of your earned income.

Bolded by me - totally agree. Sometimes the non-custodial parent really does get the short end of the stick.

 

[peterpanlover96]

This is just me throwing my opinion out there, but she should definitely be grateful for what she is receiving especially since it is the wife that is inheriting money. What could you possibly spend one thousand dollars on each child in one month for anyway? It just seems extreme to me. I know that my parents are divorced and the child support we were receiving from my father was in my opinion a lot ($1600 a month for my sister and I) because I know I'm not racking up huge bills each month that require a ton of money. If the wife is worried that her child support is going to be lowered due to her recent inheritance, she should just ask her husband for a settlement. My father took $16000 dollars out of his 401K and gave that to my mom (even though there was almost $16000 in fees) just to get all of the child support off of his chest. Maybe they should try that so that neither the husband nor wife will have to worry about child support rising or being lowered, and someone getting jipped because of it.

 

[mb_uh]

I would expect that the inheritance itself would not affect childsupport- if the interest on the inheritance is enough to raise his gross income significantly then child support could be raised.

 

[ancestry]

Sometimes the non-custodial parent really does get the short end of the stick.

Definitely! Thank you so much for saying this. So so true and very few people look at it this way.

There is a disgusting standard impression that all divorced men are dead beat dads and that is untrue in many situations that I know of. Rather from several cases that I have been aware of it is the woman who was a dead beat mother who tried to rake the father over the coals and felt that he didn't need anything to live on that she was "entitled" to everything for herself (not even necessarily for the child). <sigh>

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Definitely! Thank you so much for saying this. So so true and very few people look at it this way.

There is a disgusting standard impression that all divorced men are dead beat dads and that is untrue in many situations that I know of. Rather from several cases that I have been aware of it is the woman who was a dead beat mother who tried to rake the father over the coals and felt that he didn't need anything to live on that she was "entitled" to everything for herself (not even necessarily for the child). <sigh>

There is definitely a tendency on this message board for the majority of people to bash the non-custodial father and scream any time child support is mentioned. It really is frustrating though to see such a large amount of support going to the ex but see almost none of it used directly on anything for the children.

 

[ilovemk76]

There is definitely a tendency on this message board for the majority of people to bash the non-custodial father and scream any time child support is mentioned. It really is frustrating though to see such a large amount of support going to the ex but see almost none of it used directly on anything for the children.

Do the kids have a roof over the heads, heat in the winter, hot water, running water, electricity and the like? If so, that is what the money if for not just to buy the kids stuff.


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OP - In the one case where I know this happened, the DH inherited the money, the support did not change.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Do the kids have a roof over the heads, heat in the winter, hot water, running water, electricity and the like? If so, that is what the money if for not just to buy the kids stuff.


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OP - In the one case where I know this happened, the DH inherited the money, the support did not change.

I'm aware of that. I receive child support from my ex so I know what it is supposed to be used for HOWEVER when my stepsons only own worn out cheap clothing that is too small and are only given 1 pair of shoes per season while their willfully unemployed Mom drives a new $60k vehicle, has stacks of designer shoes and purses and every expensive electronic device possible, it really is obvious where the money goes and it isn't all for the living expenses of the children. The kids don't go on vacation unless we take them yet their Mom goes on cruises and other trips often. The "Santa" gifts all come from us, etc... The list could go on and on but I've already hijacked this thread enough.

As to the OP's question - it really depends on the laws of the state and the interpretation of those laws by the judge that would hear the petition if the other parent petitioned for a change of circumstances because of the inheritance. If they have to pay taxes on the money as income then it will most likely be considered towards child support calculations but only for the year it was received and only if the other parent takes the issue in front of the court. The very next year when the income goes back to being based on just salaries alone then support would revert back if it was ever changed at all.

 

[sydneysmom]

Definitely! Thank you so much for saying this. So so true and very few people look at it this way.

There is a disgusting standard impression that all divorced men are dead beat dads and that is untrue in many situations that I know of. Rather from several cases that I have been aware of it is the woman who was a dead beat mother who tried to rake the father over the coals and felt that he didn't need anything to live on that she was "entitled" to everything for herself (not even necessarily for the child). <sigh>

this is definitely the case in our house. My stepdaughter's mom uses having her only for the money. when she's in her custody, she's left alone. It's terribly sad. We got her into a terrific private school, told her mother that we'd pay ALL expenses and she wouldn't have to pay child support if our DD came to live with us. She said to my DH, "now where's the fun in that? I'd rather know I'm screwing you until she's 18". Nice. (considering she's the one that had an affair w/ 2 people and caused the divorce. ) she's all class. but because my step daughter was an infant at the time of the divorce, the judge gave her primary custody. So sad.

The court sways towards the mother and sometimes erroneously. it's the child that pays. each Sunday we have to deal w/ our DD crying and telling us she doesn't want to go home. it's hard to explain to a 5 year old.

 

[cm8]

this is definitely the case in our house. My stepdaughter's mom uses having her only for the money. when she's in her custody, she's left alone. It's terribly sad. We got her into a terrific private school, told her mother that we'd pay ALL expenses and she wouldn't have to pay child support if our DD came to live with us. She said to my DH, "now where's the fun in that? I'd rather know I'm screwing you until she's 18". Nice. (considering she's the one that had an affair w/ 2 people and caused the divorce. ) she's all class. but because my step daughter was an infant at the time of the divorce, the judge gave her primary custody. So sad.

The court sways towards the mother and sometimes erroneously. it's the child that pays. each Sunday we have to deal w/ our DD crying and telling us she doesn't want to go home. it's hard to explain to a 5 year old.

, Maybe you all should petition for custody. I could not live like that every weekend, It would really break my heart

 

[sydneysmom]

, Maybe you all should petition for custody. I could not live like that every weekend, It would really break my heart

Believe me, it rips my heart out.......we did talk to our lawyer and he said that unless we could prove gross negligence or proof that she's unfit, we wouldn't have a case since she's only 5......the court isn't going to ask her where she wants to live. All we can do now is keep good notes of everything....and give her all the love we can. And when she's home with us, we make sure her little " love tank" is filled up and overflowing.

 

[sharbear]

This exact thing happened to someone I know. She did petition the court and her child support was upped. Her alimony was not.

 

[AmberHeartsDisney]

I would think....No because there agreement is already signed and agreed upon. and if there not together at the time they get it they shouldnt have rights to it.

 

[ChickieToo]

I'm aware of that. I receive child support from my ex so I know what it is supposed to be used for HOWEVER when my stepsons only own worn out cheap clothing that is too small and are only given 1 pair of shoes per season while their willfully unemployed Mom drives a new $60k vehicle, has stacks of designer shoes and purses and every expensive electronic device possible, it really is obvious where the money goes and it isn't all for the living expenses of the children. The kids don't go on vacation unless we take them yet their Mom goes on cruises and other trips often. The "Santa" gifts all come from us, etc... The list could go on and on but I've already hijacked this thread enough.

As to the OP's question - it really depends on the laws of the state and the interpretation of those laws by the judge that would hear the petition if the other parent petitioned for a change of circumstances because of the inheritance. If they have to pay taxes on the money as income then it will most likely be considered towards child support calculations but only for the year it was received and only if the other parent takes the issue in front of the court. The very next year when the income goes back to being based on just salaries alone then support would revert back if it was ever changed at all.

I bet that situation is really frustrating. I am not divorced, but a few of my friends are and a couple of my friends are the second wife, and my sister just finalized her divorce last week. The one thing I can say is that how the spouses act during this process often determines how people act as exes and in terms of support. For instance, one of my girlfriend's is a second wife and was having an affair with her now husband behind the first wife's back. The husband's ex-wife squeezed every cent from he him because she was very hurt and humiliated. I'm not saying it's correct, but I'm saying that human nature being what it is--she wanted him to pay. My girlfriend was really frustrated that the ex-wife didn't work and always wanted more money and that took from their children together. I understood that and sympathized that she worked hard and put her kids in daycare in order to work so they could have a better life, and the ex-wife didn't work. But, I always told her she married a guy with 2 kids and they were always going to be there. Make peace.

To the OP's question: In my sister's case, all she wanted from her ex is that he do what he could to keep the family in the home for three more years until the youngest graduated high school. They purchased the home from my mother much below market value and DSis used $80k from her inheritance from my father as the down payment. Additionally my mother put a 70k in-law addition on the house. DSis attorney told her that the 80K would come right off the top because it was her inheritance and would not figure into splitting the equity. She told her husband that and he refused to believe her. She told him she would forgo that and split everything with him 50/50 after the three years when their daughter graduated high school. She tried to reason with him but he didn't want the divorce and became just awful and forced the thing to go to trial. Let me just say, the judge ruled that he has to pay his child support, but as far as the house is concerned, he gets only $65K from her and she has 18 months to figure out how she's going to finance that. She's thrilled!. It is probably 1/3 of what he thought he would get when he tried to force her to sell the house or buy him out NOW. And if home prices bounced back a little in three years, it would have been even more.

People act very irrationally when they are hurt, and they try to hurt the other party any way they can. Often they don't think about how the children get caught in the middle. OR they don't care.