Disney Wedding!

[i heart tinkerbell]

Hey guys! I am so excited for July 6th!

My brother is getting married in disney!

Only one problem , I may not be able to go because of the huge
fight my parents have had.

Please help me think of some ideas to say to my mom and my dad.

Whenever I try to talk about it , they attempt to outspeak me and get the last word in.

I've tried:

Me:You obviously don't care about me.
Dad: I never said you did.
Me:You implied it.

Me: He's my flesh and blood.
Dad: No, he's my flesh and blood. He's just your brother.
Me: He's always been there for me.
Dad: He's never been there for me.
Dad: I'm so pissed at him like you don't even kno.
Me: Well i'm gonna be more than that you can ever imagine if you don't let me go.
Dad: Well I guess I just have to live with that like I put up with your brother's bull****.

I've tried talking to him and sitting both of my parents down.

I've basically tried everything in the book.

Are there any pyschologists out there? Or at least
good convincers?

They have been fueding with my brother for years and he couldn't take it
anymore and just took off this august. I would of done the same exact thing. They THINK they hate my brother's fiance`, who is the nicest person I have ever met because shes big. They call her "the whale" , and she is also not the neatest person. My mom says, you don't see anyone that big. You have to care what people think. True love doesn't exist. I am having a mental breakdown just hearing her pathetic voice.

Please help me. Please. I need to be there. This happens (hopefully) once in a lifetime. Please help. me.

I also have to see someone very special there. I'll give details later.

Sorry this is so long!

Love,
Chrissy

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Wait... how old are you?

Why can't you go on your own? If you're 18 or older, you are an adult and have every ability to travel and get a hotel room by yourself. May require getting a job to save money to make the trip, however. Is there another family member- aunt, uncle, cousin, someone on your future sister-in-law's side that you can talk to?

My parents used to tease me- he's half my kid, but all your brother. Just reminded me with your father's "flesh and blood" comment. Technically, you're more related to him than he is. This sounds like a teenage reason of thinking to me though.

Sounds like your parents need counseling. They're trying...and not successfully...dealing with a lot of anger and resentment issues.

 

[twojo21]

i agree with underthemistletoe, if youre over 18 you can go on your own & pay your own way.

i see from your more recent post youre 14, so unfortunately it is your parents choice whether you can go or not. give the situation some time to cool down & talk again with your parents how much seeing your brother get married means to you. see if you can travel with another attending family member. if they still decide not to go or allow you to attend simply call your brother & fiance & let them know you wont be able to attend but send your best wishes.

 

[i heart tinkerbell]

I'm actually 14. Sorry for not stating that.

I really wish I could go on my own and sorry for the language or if it offended anybody. I was trying to show you what it is really like.

My parents, I agree, need help and i've tried talking that issue out before.

Thanks for the insights.

I'll try everything you suggest!

Love,
Chrissy

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

I'm actually 14. Sorry for not stating that.

I really wish I could go on my own and sorry for the language or if it offended anybody. I was trying to show you what it is really like.

My parents, I agree, need help and i've tried talking that issue out before.

Thanks for the insights.

I'll try everything you suggest!

Love,
Chrissy

Hi Chrissy,
I hope everything works out for you and your family. I would maybe suggest taking a different approach with your dad. Instead of letting him talk to you about his issues with your brother, present it in a way where it's strictly a talk about you and your brother, and you going to your brother's wedding. When you bring up or accuse others of hurting your feelings or being unfair they usually become defensive, I would maybe suggest saying something like "Dad, it's important to me to be at my brother's wedding" or "I feel that I should be there" nobody can dispute your personal feelings. If your dad brings up his bad relationship with your brother, nicely listen, nod, and say you understand, but the issue at hand is you being at your brother's wedding. Maybe if you have a relative also going, and you can stay with them? Possibly come up with an agreement to pay your own plane ticket (Southwest has great deals for less than $100 round trip if you time it right.)
I hope everything works out for you, and your family.
Let us know!
Ashley

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

I agree with Ashely.... there's a huge difference between an adult's reasoning and thinking and a teenager's reason and thinking. It seems liek you're going about this the wrong way and only making enemies with your parents when you need to be making "friends" with them- ie, you need to talk to them as maturely as possible and tell them the reasons this is so important to you. By picking a fight (the back and forth rhetoric), you're not getting anywhere. You're going to beat around the bush and go in circles. If talking won't work, maybe write a letter to them and tell them why it is so important. If your parents resent this marriage so much, you might be out of luck. Are their other fmaily members attending?

 

[groomtb]

first of all, PLEASE don't think of running away. for your own sake and your families. Please. you're way too young to do that for your own good.

There must be more detailed stories that you wish and want to keep private. Which is fine. But from the surface, if there's anyone that can help to resolve the tensions, it is your brother. he's the only person that can talk some sense into the parents, let them see his side of the view. that of course doesn't always work, but hope he tried it atleast.
If there's any relative that has some authority in the family, that's more open minded, see if they can help too. is anyone in your family going to attend the wedding?

Wedding happen's only once, but the relationship lasts forever. if you can not attend their wedding, then give them your blessings forever. it's not the end of the world.

about flying solo for underaged. I believe most airline have strict rules on that. There's a fee for crew surpervision, like $75 or so. And MUST have parents written consents.

now here's the question, what you want more, attend the wedding? or just want to go see Tinkerbell?

 

[Briarprincess]

The first thing you need to do is talk to your brother. Yes you really want to go, and you should be allowed. But as of right now, you are under your parent's roof and rules. Explain to your brother what the issue is, without making judgements on their behalf- i.e. "they don't care about me" or "they just don't want you to be happy" or anything along those lines. Ask him if there is some way he could call them, when both have time to talk, and explain his reasons for wanting his little sister at his wedding. If he's unwilling to do that or they are unwilling to listen to him, you need to sit both your parent's down and talk. The first words out of your mouth have to be that you wish to express your opinions and would greatly appreciate if they would just hear you out before making any comments. Tell them once you're done, you will give them the same curtousy. Mention early on that you miss your brother, but respect their opinions as well. Convince them you are going about this in the most mature way possible. Don't give them any reason to doubt your intentions. You're not trying to get him home, you're not trying to please the soon-to-be sister-in-law and you are most definitly not trying to upset them. You are simply a young lady who wishes to watch her brother walk down the aisle with the woman he loves. You said that there was someone else you wished to see while in Disney. Depending on who you mean, it's not something to mention to your parents. While I know keeping secrets/lying is NOT the thing to do, but telling them you are going to see a boy or whatever is definitly not going to go over well. If it's another family member they are not fond of, the same applies.
But the biggest thing is about talking to them- have a plan! If they say no, be ready to tell them that while you wish they had said yes, you will respect their decision. If they happen to change their minds and say yes, be ready to tell them everything- how you would pay, how you would get down there, where you'd stay, who you'd stay with, etc. This might even be something to explain in the converstation before their decision, show them you really want this to happen and can make it work.


Hope everything works out for the best. Keep us updated.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

first of all, PLEASE don't think of running away. for your own sake and your families. Please. you're way too young to do that for your own good.

I could not agree more.

 

[i heart tinkerbell]

I wouldn't be going to disney if it weren't for my brother. I have no other family members , besides my 15 year old sister going. I would rather see tinkerbell 50 years wedding, then not see sal's wedding this year.