Disappointed - no disney engagement

[Tigge50447]

My BF and my son and I just returned from Disney a few weeks ago. I’m a little bummed because I thought he was going to ask me to marry him at Disney. I thought this because the Saturday before we left he had something to do but couldn’t tell me what it was and he said I would know in a few days (while we were at Disney) He also asked me to give him a tentative yes to marriage before we left on the trip. There was a few things we needed to talk about and we did. I gave him that yes. Before the trip I emailed him the name, address and phone number of the resort since I planned the trip in case he needed it for anything. A few times on the trip he said it would be nice to have time alone and I said well you need to contact the sitting service. But he never did. The trip ended and he never asked. I’m disappointed because it feels like he wanted me to plan that into the trip. Not very romantic if I have to plan my own proposal. Then when we got home he asked about a Saturday in 2 weeks and I reminded him we have an anniversary party we have known about for 2 months. He got bent that I wouldn’t ditch it. It’s my aunts and we never really get to see my cousins plus we already RSVPed before the Disney trip. He’s bent at me and he hasn’t spoken to me in 5 days. Was I suppose to plan a time for him to ask me or since he’s a 40 year old man shouldn’t he have called the resort and made arrangements or at least talked to me before the trip so we could have planned time alone

 

[Toad_Passenger]

Is it possible that he purchased the ring while you were at Disney? Perhaps he wanted to know ahead of time because he was going to be spending the money on the ring while you were on vacation, and, if you said, "No," he'd have to go all the way back to return it. Just throwing out possibilities.

 

[Acklander]

Why didn't you just call for babysitting services if he wanted some alone time? Is this your son, or both of yours son???

 

[LuvOrlando]

I don't mean to sounds harsh but I think you need to snap out of it. Forget about Disney. Do you want to marry him or not? If you do it's time to start bending, if you don't you are doing just fine, carry on.

 

[NikitaZee]

I'm sorry that your trip didn't end the way you hoped it would. However, I would have very strong reservations about marrying a man who didn't speak to me for 5 days. Especially over something as minor as attending a party.

 

[Magic Mom]

OK, look at this a different way. Stop worrying about getting the "perfect" proposal. It will be perfect no matter what because it's from the man you love and hope to share your life with. If it seems like he needs a little participation from you, then give him that. Who cares who planned the babysitting at Disney.

Send your apologies to the Aunt, call the cousins and invite them all to dinner at your house in a month and free up the day your BF is trying to get.
Think about what is most important to you, the proposal or the man?

 

[BC]

Ok, how do you know that is what he is wanting to do in 2 weeks on the Saturday you already have a commitment? Also, what makes you think he wanted alone time in Disney just for that?

It seems to me if he has not spoken to you in 5 days over something that you cannot help since you already have committed to the party, maybe you should rethink this marriage anyway. Seems like it is not something that should merit him not speaking for days! If you are close enough to consider being married, why not just ask him what is going on?

 

[okeydokey]

I'm sorry that your trip didn't end the way you hoped it would. However, I would have very strong reservations about marrying a man who didn't speak to me for 5 days. Especially over something as minor as attending a party.

This is alarming I agree.

However, If he mentioned wanting some alone time during the trip, I would have called the service.

 

[Rora]

Ok, how do you know that is what he is wanting to do in 2 weeks on the Saturday you already have a commitment? Also, what makes you think he wanted alone time in Disney just for that?

It seems to me if he has not spoken to you in 5 days over something that you cannot help since you already have committed to the party, maybe you should rethink this marriage anyway. Seems like it is not something that should merit him not speaking for days! If you are close enough to consider being married, why not just ask him what is going on?

This.

OP, I'm sorry you were disappointed, though.

 

[NHdisneylover]

If you really want HIM, where and how he proposes whould not be that big of deal--and you "helping" that by calling the sitting service should really not be an issue. If you jsut want the fancy proposal or wedding, then do yourselves both a favour and back out now.

Is it possible to spend a bit of time at the party and still get a couple of hours with just you and your boyfriend? I have to tell you that you will need to compromise like that many times in a good marriage--may as well start now

 

[Tigge50447]

I just think if he wanted to do it in disney he could have made a call. We have had issues with him following through on things so I guess I should have mentioned this. I am rethinking the whole thing now. I'm not happy about the whole 5 days thing but I'm stuborn and refuse to call him 1st.

The party thing. I told him I had Sunday open and my parents could watch my son then but he said it had to be on a Saturday.

 

[Acklander]

I just think if he wanted to do it in disney he could have made a call. We have had issues with him following through on things so I guess I should have mentioned this. I am rethinking the whole thing now. I'm not happy about the whole 5 days thing but I'm stuborn and refuse to call him 1st.

The party thing. I told him I had Sunday open and my parents could watch my son then but he said it had to be on a Saturday.

Marriage takes a lot of compromise - to be honest, from your comments, it sounds like it's more important for you to be right, and it doesn't sound like either one of you is ready for marriage.

 

[Tigge50447]

Ive compromised on alot during our relationship. I know when to bend. I just thought it would be nice if I didn't have to plan this as well.

 

[daisyduck123]

I'm sorry, but if he wanted to propose, he would've done it by now. You don't HAVE to plan a special time for it...it only takes 2 minutes to actually propose.

I don't get the part about him wanting you to give him a "tentative yes". What the heck is that? You either propose or you don't.

 

[Cinderella94]

Marriage takes a lot of compromise - to be honest, from your comments, it sounds like it's more important for you to be right, and it doesn't sound like either one of you is ready for marriage.

This.

 

[SaraJayne]

I just think if he wanted to do it in disney he could have made a call. We have had issues with him following through on things so I guess I should have mentioned this. I am rethinking the whole thing now. I'm not happy about the whole 5 days thing but I'm stuborn and refuse to call him 1st.

The party thing. I told him I had Sunday open and my parents could watch my son then but he said it had to be on a Saturday.

A grown man has refused to speak to you for FIVE days over the fact you wouldn't ditch a family party?

I hope that is a HUGE red flag to you.

 

[Magic Mom]

I just think if he wanted to do it in disney he could have made a call. We have had issues with him following through on things so I guess I should have mentioned this. I am rethinking the whole thing now. I'm not happy about the whole 5 days thing but I'm stuborn and refuse to call him 1st.

The party thing. I told him I had Sunday open and my parents could watch my son then but he said it had to be on a Saturday.

If both of you are so quick to get into power srtuggles about who does what, you should not be getting engaged. So far we have you refusing to do something he's hinting for you to do over the principle of it, and him refusing to speak to you for 5 days because you didn't play along. Does that sound healthy?

 

[krcit]

OK, look at this a different way. Stop worrying about getting the "perfect" proposal. It will be perfect no matter what because it's from the man you love and hope to share your life with. If it seems like he needs a little participation from you, then give him that. Who cares who planned the babysitting at Disney.

Send your apologies to the Aunt, call the cousins and invite them all to dinner at your house in a month and free up the day your BF is trying to get.
Think about what is most important to you, the proposal or the man?

I disagree with this. They have RSVP'd to the party already and IMO the boyfriend is being a baby by not speaking to her for 5 days because she won't blow off her family party. If he wants to propose then he should be mature enough to plan something or just ask her over tacos on a tuesday night.

 

[SaraJayne]

I disagree with this. They have RSVP'd to the party already and IMO the boyfriend is being a baby by not speaking to her for 5 days because she won't blow off her family party. If he wants to propose then he should be mature enough to plan something or just ask her over tacos on a tuesday night.

 

[Tigge50447]

would you guys plan your own surprise party? Would you buy your own anniversary gift? Is there romance out there anymore that someone might want that special moment to be just that, special and not a event that I have to plan out and say ok between 5 and 7pm you can ask me to marry you? Is it that hard for someone to pick up the phone themselves and make the time to do such a thing? If he had asked me before we left for disney if we could spend some time together alone I would have made arrangements.