Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part II -GAGWTA!

[lookingforward]

Back from my short Texas family reunion trip. Great visit, especially nice seeing my brother Tom from New York. He is planning to celebrate his 40th in Vegas in early December and wants whoever can to join him.

Have not been to Vegas since the 60's. Ya think it has changed much?

He wants to see Bette Middler at Caesar's. Stay there as well I guess. I check some airfares from New Orleans in December, kinda pricey.

Love love love that George Carlin bit about aging. Sure saw some relatives this weekend who are aging. Did not keep us from having fun.

My heart goes out to you and your dad, lookingforward.

Thanks. I loved the George Carlin thing too. I think he was a genius. I remember turning 30 and being sad...now I am pushing 50 (in three years!) and its surreal. Life goes by so quickly. Of course, after breast cancer...well...50 sounds mighty fine to me. It changed my entire perspective.

My hair is growing back...at what point did you all go w/o the wig? My head is covered but the hair is not long. I am wondering if I can get away without the wig in California? I kind of look like a guy right now...

 

[havinfun]

Thanks. I loved the George Carlin thing too. I think he was a genius. I remember turning 30 and being sad...now I am pushing 50 (in three years!) and its surreal. Life goes by so quickly. Of course, after breast cancer...well...50 sounds mighty fine to me. It changed my entire perspective.

My hair is growing back...at what point did you all go w/o the wig? My head is covered but the hair is not long. I am wondering if I can get away without the wig in California? I kind of look like a guy right now...

I was done with chemo in Sept. My hair came back curley and gray. It looked terrible. So the end of January I was sick of wearing stuff on my head. I went and got it dyed. Well the color was supposed to be brown and when she dried it, I looked like a leprachaun. We both were shocked. My hairdresser is really good with color. She put a glaze on it and it looked better. I stopped wearing a wig. The next month I went to her and we tried again. It turned out much better. I have read to wait 6 months after last chemo tx before dying it. Now I know why.

 

[lookingforward]

I was done with chemo in Sept. My hair came back curley and gray. It looked terrible. So the end of January I was sick of wearing stuff on my head. I went and got it dyed. Well the color was supposed to be brown and when she dried it, I looked like a leprachaun. We both were shocked. My hairdresser is really good with color. She put a glaze on it and it looked better. I stopped wearing a wig. The next month I went to her and we tried again. It turned out much better. I have read to wait 6 months after last chemo tx before dying it. Now I know why.

My hair is coming back black with little spots of gray. The gray hair is thinner and more like a babies...the black is thick and straight (so far). Its not long enough to go curly yet. One weird thing...my eyebrows lasted all through chemo...every other hair fell out (and I mean every hair). But not my eyebrows. AFTER chemo..about a month...my eyebrows fell out the same day. ALL OF THEM. Then they grew back in within a span of three weeks. WEIRD! Remember the song "dude looks like a lady"...well I keep singing "Lady looks like a dude". My kids think its funny. HA! Believe me, with all the sadness in my house I have to try anything to make things a bit better.

GAGWTA!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Glad you had a good trip, Laurie. I can see you in Vegas!

Always loved listening to Carlin's rants.

It was about 4 years ago this month that I ditched the wig. It was just plain too hot. My hair was just coming in but fortunately it was blond, kind of like when I was little (it'd been brown since high school ). I remember dropping my kids off to day camp and the other kids going, "hey, why'd your Mom cut her hair so short?" (If they only knew...) It's kind of liberating getting rid of it - like, hey, I'm really at the end.

Nice to see you laugh again, Maureen.

GAGWTA

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Also really found your post about you IBC a good reminder for me. I am an LPN waiting to take my RN boards. Never a bad thing to be reminded to listen. My boss pulled me aside this morning to thank me for doing that vs just leaving a client after I do what I need to do with them (since I am per visit vs per hour right now).

I kind of think that one of the secrets to being a good nurse is being a good listener. One of the things I love best about my job is listening to people's life stories. I may not remember names or faces, but I always remember stories.

Like this one elderly man whose story I'll never forget. He was a milkman. He and his wife had 14 children. I was a new Mom to twins at the time, and thought I had it hard - till I heard that, LOL. I told him I gave him credit, and he said, no, all the credit went to his wife. He worked very long hours and she got the brunt of the child rearing. He reminisced about how clean, well-groomed and well mannered his children always were, all because of her hard work. (His love for his late wife came through loud and clear here.)

We talked about vacations, and not surprisingly, he said there were none. Couldn't afford them. But here's what they did instead. Once in a while, they'd have enough money saved for the carload of them to go to the drive-in and buy two pizzas - each getting one slice. He got teary as he remembered. "It might not have been much, but those were the best times, and that was the best pizza you could ever imagine!"

I bet they were, and I bet it was! Geez, I love the stories!

 

[snappy]

Great story Linda, as well as a reality check. Thanks for sharing.

The stories sound like a wonderful aspect of nursing.

It can be healing to open up and talk about your story. I guess that is what we do here.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I still remember a pt. I had 33 years ago as a student nurse. She had bc and bone mets. She talked and talked to me. I couldn't figure out why she was so open with an 18 year old nursing student.

Did you ever wonder, after your own case, if there was "more at play" way back then? Like you were put there for a reason? I have. Years ago I had a young BC patient who coded and died on me in the hospital one night. We'd gotten close that week. We brought her back briefly and when we did, she called my name, then never regained consciousness, so calling out for me were her last words. That, and some other related things that happened, has kind of haunted me a bit, especially when I got BC myself. I really wondered about us being in those circumstances together, seeing as our cases had some parallels which I was to see later on.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Great story Linda, as well as a reality check. Thanks for sharing.

The stories sound like a wonderful aspect of nursing.

They are. The challenge today is to make time for it. People feel "cared about" when you listen to them.

 

[snappy]

Listening does wonders in day to day family life as well.

kids, husband, mom, . . . Living alone as my mother does must be very difficult, not having someone to share with at odd times.

I find more and more my mom is reliving the past. Everything reminds her of something. Tom's Vegas trip idea had her reliving all the trips there she took with my dad (my love the craps table). I asked a bit about their trips and I received a blow by blow description of a lot of them, the weather, the room, who they went with, etc.

Maureen's loss has really made me treasure being able to travel with mom. We had a lot of together time, we shared the same hotel room and spent lots of time in the pool and hot tub during the trip.

Also just being in Mesquite where we lived for two years brought a lot of memories back, some good, some not so good (my dad and his brother went into business for a short time and it did not work out).

My sister and I decided to not drive by our old house, etc. Too painful, and I prefer to just remember in my mind. It was also painful to see Dad's remaining brother struggling with Alzheimer's and advanced diabetes. He looks so much and talks so much like Dad. It is eery.

 

[Sha]

Maureen's loss has really made me treasure being able to travel with mom.

Ditto that Laurie!!!!

 

[lookingforward]

Listening does wonders in day to day family life as well.

kids, husband, mom, . . . Living alone as my mother does must be very difficult, not having someone to share with at odd times.

I find more and more my mom is reliving the past. Everything reminds her of something. Tom's Vegas trip idea had her reliving all the trips there she took with my dad (my love the craps table). I asked a bit about their trips and I received a blow by blow description of a lot of them, the weather, the room, who they went with, etc.

Maureen's loss has really made me treasure being able to travel with mom. We had a lot of together time, we shared the same hotel room and spent lots of time in the pool and hot tub during the trip.

Also just being in Mesquite where we lived for two years brought a lot of memories back, some good, some not so good (my dad and his brother went into business for a short time and it did not work out).

My sister and I decided to not drive by our old house, etc. Too painful, and I prefer to just remember in my mind. It was also painful to see Dad's remaining brother struggling with Alzheimer's and advanced diabetes. He looks so much and talks so much like Dad. It is eery.

Its so important to spend quality time with your relatives. My mom and dad took all of us to Alaska four years ago, and paid for everything, the airfare, the cruise, etc. It was an amazing trip. And we had other family cruises, etc. My mom even flew over to OKinawa Japan when we were stationed there and treated my husband and I to Tokyo for four days. It was so much fun to have her there. And I have to mention the last two JUGGS cruises (just us girls going sailing) that my mom came with me for. She didn't have too, and they were not her friends but mine, but she came with me anyway. The last one was two weeks after my first chemo when I had the blood clot and she had to give me blood thinner shots every day. I cherish those and countless other times. She was up for anything.

 

[snappy]

Its so important to spend quality time with your relatives. My mom and dad took all of us to Alaska four years ago, and paid for everything, the airfare, the cruise, etc. It was an amazing trip. And we had other family cruises, etc. My mom even flew over to OKinawa Japan when we were stationed there and treated my husband and I to Tokyo for four days. It was so much fun to have her there. And I have to mention the last two JUGGS cruises (just us girls going sailing) that my mom came with me for. She didn't have too, and they were not her friends but mine, but she came with me anyway. The last one was two weeks after my first chemo when I had the blood clot and she had to give me blood thinner shots every day. I cherish those and countless other times. She was up for anything.

I would love to live my life just like your mom lived hers. I want to be UP TO ANYTHING!! In fact I would be just find having that in my obit when the time comes.

What an inspiring post!! It sounds like your folks were very generous with their $$ and even more special, their TIME!!

Thanks for sharing this. It must be painful because I know you miss her but what fabulous memories you have.

 

[NHAnn]

GAGWTA!!

I'm sitting here smiling and crying at the same time...reading and thinking about aging, families, and the nursing stories.
Linda -your "is there more at play" post gave me chills!
snappy--sorry, I hope to never read your obit but I am giggling already at it reading "she was up for anything!~" Where is the Tag Fairy when you need her?
Maureen, I have been thinking of you a lot this week, I think because I have been thinking a lot about my own mom who died last September. My niece (my parents' oldest grandchild) is engaged to an Army officer and they have moved up their wedding from the planned fall of 2009 - to December 20, 2008! Niece and DB and SIL are in the throes of planning , and I keep thinking how much my mom would have loved being involved in the planning and enjoyed the wedding. I know she'll "be there" in spirit but I've been missing her physical presence lately.

Havinfun---leprechaun hair!! Oh my!!

Had a checkup with my surgeon today...my annual is in January and you may recall I had thought I felt a little something in my untreated breast, we never can consistently find it and the u/s showed nothing, but she wanted to see me in 6 months to have another look..still nothing. I see the onc later this week too for my labs for the clinical trial, then I'll be good to go til annual mamm next January. And my center is FINALLY getting digital mammography so my next one will be digital!

Exciting news regarding Race for the Cure in October...my sister in Colorado has decided to join me and the other sis from NH for the trip/RFTC
I'm so excited!

 

[snappy]

GAGWTA!!

I'm sitting here smiling and crying at the same time...reading and thinking about aging, families, and the nursing stories.
Linda -your "is there more at play" post gave me chills!
snappy--sorry, I hope to never read your obit but I am giggling already at it reading "she was up for anything!~" Where is the Tag Fairy when you need her?

Maureen, I have been thinking of you a lot this week, I think because I have been thinking a lot about my own mom who died last September. My niece (my parents' oldest grandchild) is engaged to an Army officer and they have moved up their wedding from the planned fall of 2009 - to December 20, 2008! Niece and DB and SIL are in the throes of planning , and I keep thinking how much my mom would have loved being involved in the planning and enjoyed the wedding. I know she'll "be there" in spirit but I've been missing her physical presence lately.

Havinfun---leprechaun hair!! Oh my!!

Had a checkup with my surgeon today...my annual is in January and you may recall I had thought I felt a little something in my untreated breast, we never can consistently find it and the u/s showed nothing, but she wanted to see me in 6 months to have another look..still nothing. I see the onc later this week too for my labs for the clinical trial, then I'll be good to go til annual mamm next January. And my center is FINALLY getting digital mammography so my next one will be digital!

Exciting news regarding Race for the Cure in October...my sister in Colorado has decided to join me and the other sis from NH for the trip/RFTC
I'm so excited!

Bring it on, tag fairy!!

Oh my, two sisters, you lucky duck. I wish my sister could make it, she just is not up to another trip. This quickie trip to Texas almost did her in. She had to take the "big drugs" to just get through it. She thinks she can make it to Vegas in December, I just don't see how, even with the morphine.

Re: Vegas, I was just talking to DH about Tom's birthday celebration, DH wants to go with me. DH is really NOT the Bette Middler type, I am shocked I tell you shocked. Maybe he got wind of my "up to anything" comment and wants to keep an eye on me?
He knows me well.

Glad your exam went well, Ann. Keep up the good work

I am a bit aggravated that my taste buds and sense of smell are still caput. It is getting old. One of myTexas aunts made some peach home made ice cream for us on the fourth and all I got out of it was cold and a few extra pounds.

It looked pretty though.

 

[CherylDan]

GAGWTA!

Just wanted to pop in for a quick hello! Aloha!! We are in full Hawaiian mode at our house, as DD19 is hosting a luau/bridal shower for DD23 this weekend. It's been so much fun decorating the house....I picked up a ton of stuff at the dollar store, and a bunch more at a few party stores. Strange, but I've been dying for a mai tai the past few days.... Mostly I'm just so glad to be here to be a part of it, and to be feeling good. It's amazing to me now how much I used to take for granted. But not any more!

Maureen....I hear ya about the eyebrows! Mine did the same thing. Really weird. My eyelashes are still not back to normal, I guess they are all on the same cycle or something, because one day they will be there, and the next they are gone, and I finished chemo March 07. Took my hair about 6 months before it started to look like "hair". Came back completely gray much to my dismay, but heck...better than gray than bald! I've decided to keep it that way, but if I ever get offered the senior discount I might have to rethink that, since I'm just 46!


Snappy...hope your taste buds return soon! Not being able to taste homemade peach ice cream is just WRONG.

Ann...glad to hear your appt went well.

Linda...loved the pizza story!

Hope everybody had a good 4th of July.

 

[laurabelle]

~~~***GAGWTA sistas***~~~

We had a blast in Philly on Monday. It rained on and off but we somehow managed to dodge it most of the time.
Independence Hall (sorry, I can't seem to edit it!)

Liberty Bell

Washington's tomb of the unknown soldier

I loved the cool green gardens and all the old buildings.

Now, on our way to our real destination:

Gee Whiz!

Better order right or no soup for you!

There was a line but it went fast! I was so excited and a little nervous! Hubby said there were lots of other tourists in line (who me, I'm never a tourist!) but they didn't know what the heck they were doing. As it was getting close to my turn I told my kids, watch me order in my best South Philly street tough...
"One whiz wit, one whiz witout" Ha! Better than the guy in front of me. Bam, my order was up! When I grow up I want the job of the person who puts the whiz on the cheese steaks! Then you proceed to the next window to order drinks and fries. There are no different sizes...and no coke, pepsi!
Here's my half. We added nothing except the hot pepper. It was absolutely divine! Watch out, that whiz is HOT!

You can see the kids hated it...

I'll catch up!

 

[lookingforward]

Oh my goodness...those cheese steaks look great. I hear you about the taste buds too...mine are just getting back to normal. For a few months after chemo the only thing I craved was oranges. Weird.

Thanks for the kind words about my parents. They are and were really generous with love, time, gifts, etc. They love unconditionally and with open hearts...something I try to do with my kids. I spend much more on vacations than I do on clothes or expensive home items, etc. Whenever we head out on a vacation we always say "lets go make memories". After I got breast cancer it meant even more to me, and now, without my mom here, it is even more signifigant. Memories are all we have when we lose someone.

My sister and I were talking about how big events (Like weddings, holidays, etc) are going to forever be difficult without my mom. Its going to be so hard to enjoy the moments without her. But we have to. So I know your feelings about your niece's wedding and how you will be all thinking about your mom.

Well...I have to get ready to meet my dad. We have to pick up my mom's urn today and its going to be a very difficult morning for us both. I don't want him to be alone.

 

[snappy]

Maureen, we will be with you and your dad in spirit today.

 

[snappy]

Great pictures, Laura. What a great trip to take for the fourth.

Your daughters are absolutely adorable. Your youngest looks like she might just be the drama queen of the house.

Please don't grow up anytime soon and leave me in adolescence.

Note: I ge plenty of opportunities to be at that stage, I helped DS19 (almost 20 now) edit his paper this am before his 8 am class.

Not really what I had in mind when I woke up but hey, it gets the brain rocking. His paper was about some obscure Buddhist guy born in 1222, and I had never even heard of him.

 

[snappy]

I have a prayer request for the father of one of my friends. He has been in a hospital in New Orleans for weeks.

He has liver cancer and his doctors have just told the family that the procedures they have tried have been unsuccessful and he could not survive surgery to remove the tumors.

They are not sure if he will just stay in the hospital to control the pain or if he will be able to go home with hospice care.

His name is Orlando Grillo, he is from Cuba.

My friend's name is May.

Thanks everyone.