Ding! Ding! DING! We have a (Thanksgiving) winner!

[RickinNYC]

For those with the patience to do so, you've read a couple of my stories of the Wild and Wacky World of Thanksgiving Volunteers '08. I told you of the woman who wanted to bring her 4 year old and 9 year old, ostensibly to volunteer, but actually to "show them poor people." I mentioned the young lady who was at first ridiculously cheerful, but was actually a loony tunes screeching harpy with denial issues. But those two are nothing compared to the lovely woman I just got off the phone with a moment ago.

I pick up and before I can even introduce myself or say a single word beyond, "He... (as in 'Hello')" I hear "My friends and I want to volunteer this Thanksgiving and I've called all the soup kitchens in the city and they're all booked and we have money to spend to make sure we have a spot so we'll make a donation to your charity but you need to let me know where we can go to do this." All.In.One.Breath.

I was totally taken aback by her mini-rant/bribery-attempt so all I could say was, "'Scuse me? What?"

"I said I called everywhere my friends and I want to volunteer we have money what's the problem," again in a single breath.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry but why don't we start this entire call over again. You and your friends want to volunteer on Thanksgiving, is that correct?" After she confirmed in a rather snooty tone, I explained that we were booked to capacity and just couldn't fit anyone else in. I did tell her, however, that I had one cancellation and if she was interested, I could accommodate her, but not her friends.

"Fine. What time and where do we go?" she asked.

"I'm afraid, again, that it's only a spot for one person, not for you and your friends," I jumped in.

"If you can fit one, then you can fit all four of us. Where do we go?" she insisted.

"Ma'am, not only is it impractical to put in more volunteers than necessary, but it's physically impossible. The spot you'd fill would be on 'the line' with other volunteers. I couldn't put more than one more person there without you all stepping on each other and getting in each other's way."

She took a breath and then said, "And YOU don't quite seem to understand what I'm saying. I said that we have money to donate IF you let us volunteer. We collected $50 and are prepared to bring it in, but in person ONLY, WHEN we volunteer."

Admittedly, if she had said $500, I would have done some schedule juggling or appealed to a volunteer who understood that money in this day and age does take precedence over certain things sometimes. I'd have sucked it up and done something to accommodate Lovey Howell and her gal pals. I can be bought like a pair of fur lined gloves on the 90% discount rack at Montgomery Ward. I have a soul and it's for sale. I'll dance like a trained monkey in a bowler hat if you give us a substantial donation. But for $50, you get a half lidded look of annoyance and a flutter of my hand in the universal sign of "go away kid, you're bothering me."

"Ma'am, again I'm sorry but we're completely booked and just can't fit all of you. Only one. That's just the way it is."

With a frustrated sigh, she answered, "Fine. Then the least you can do is make suggestions where we can go."

I explained that I can only speak for the 25 programs and shelters we operate and have no knowledge of what other shelters might need. As I was doing my best to tell her so, Lovey interrupted with a sigh and, "Fine. That's just fine," followed by a muttered word or two and a dial tone. I like to think her word or two was a "Happy Thanksgiving" but they have two many syllables and letters. I was never good at Jumble but apparently I'm excellent at frustrating folks.

Happy muttermuttermutter.

 

[My sister's princess]

Wow. That is all all I can say. I wonder why on earth they were so determined to volunteer this year?

 

[Todd&Copper]

Wow - entitlement issues over $50.

What a loon!

 

[luvflorida]

With a frustrated sigh, she answered, "Fine. Then the least you can do is make suggestions where we can go."

 

[RickinNYC]

Wow. That is all all I can say. I wonder why on earth they were so determined to volunteer this year?

It's not just this year. I get these phone calls every single year. The more organized folks start calling mid-September to insure they have a spot. I get calls through Wednesday night and into Thursday morning. No joke. I get calls with a time stamp of 4am sometimes. Happened last year. That was a first.

Thankfully, 50% of the calls I get are from awesome people who wish us well for the holidays when they learn we're booked up. A lot of folks say, "Wow, that's awesome for you guys!" or "Good for you!" The other 5% are kinda sorta nasty or mean or just plain crazy.

Whatever the case, I'll take 'em on, deal with the calls and roll with the punches. For every nasty person I deal with this time of year, there are dozens out there who are pretty awesome.

 

[Hercules10]

With a frustrated sigh, she answered, "Fine. Then the least you can do is make suggestions where we can go."

She's lucky it's T-giving and didn't get a honest answer to this....

 

[My sister's princess]

Do you have enough help the rest of the time? Maybe they could come in on another day. I know when I worked at the soup kitchen in my town they were desperate for help most of the year.

 

[pixie dust 112]

I think you should let people know that Thanksgiving is filled up, but you are looking for volunteers throughout the year. Ask them what other day would be good for them so you can put them on the schedule! Oh the things you have to go through Rick! There's got to be bucket loads of good karma coming your way!

 

[RickinNYC]

Do you have enough help the rest of the time? Maybe they could come in on another day. I know when I worked at the soup kitchen in my town they were desperate for help most of the year.

I think you should let people know that Thanksgiving is filled up, but you are looking for volunteers throughout the year. Ask them what other day would be good for them so you can put them on the schedule! Oh the things you have to go through Rick! There's got to be bucket loads of good karma coming your way!

Actually, if given a chance, I always always tell folks we need volunteers year round and not just on any specific holiday. I try to encourage them to go through the motions of having them fill out our registration form and come on in for an orientation. What they don't know is that if they do this, then they will get the first holiday volunteerism appeal before the general public every does, hence why we're usually so booked up so early.

I think giving "first dibs" to our regular volunteers is the right thing to do. They're the one who help out year round, so they should be given the opportunity first. Once giving them the chance to sign up, I then open it to anyone/everyone else.

 

[My sister's princess]

I think that giving regular volunteers first dibs is an amazing idea!

 

[c4a]

Oh, Rick...thank you. We thought we were the only ones who got these wackos. You have no idea how much I needed your post.
We pretty much use the same crew year after year (holiday after holiday)...and people just don't seem to get that. We have gotten where we ask "call in's" to bring in bulk sized canned goods, instead. Even then, there are the "sinister insisters". I tend to get the jaw drop when they start in on me...only hours later do I come up with the perfect come back.
At least you got (and gave)a good laugh.

 

[Uncle Remus]

"Fine. Then the least you can do is make suggestions where we can go."

 

[live4christp1]

Hey Rick. Sorry you are being bombarded.

Wanted to say thank you though for the awesome work you and all those like you do on a daily basis to help other people who are less fortunate. You all are making a difference in peoples lives. Keep up the good work and...


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!

 

[Justanopinion]

Admittedly, if she had said $500, I would have done some schedule juggling or appealed to a volunteer who understood that money in this day and age does take precedence over certain things sometimes. I'd have sucked it up and done something to accommodate Lovey Howell and her gal pals. I can be bought like a pair of fur lined gloves on the 90% discount rack at Montgomery Ward. I have a soul and it's for sale. I'll dance like a trained monkey in a bowler hat if you give us a substantial donation. But for $50, you get a half lidded look of annoyance and a flutter of my hand in the universal sign of "go away kid, you're bothering me."

Happy muttermuttermutter.

I love your writings. You make me laugh. I wish I could come up with stuff like this. Thanks for the smile this morning, I needed it.

 

[java]

Here's an idea! How about you allow them to volunteer in January. When all the volunteers are vanishing. Say GREAT we love volunteers - here's where we need you January 21 in the Bowery at 6AM. Thanks again for offering and we'll see you then.

Or
"take your $50 and buy yourself a clue" is another option.

 

[Sonya]

But why in the world are they so insistent to volunteer? Are they needing to do community service for the courts by T-day or they get thrown in jail? Are they just wanting to show people they know that they "care"?

 

[okeydokey]

I hate that you have to go through this every year, but I have to admit I love reading about it. Your positive attitude is just amazing!!

 

[Michelle67]

But why in the world are they so insistent to volunteer? Are they needing to do community service for the courts by T-day or they get thrown in jail? Are they just wanting to show people they know that they "care"?

As rude as this might sound...for some people I think it's just "fashionable." And they don't want to do the hard thankless work during the year behind the scenes, they want to do the high profile thing on the big day that shows how much they are sacrificing...it's just not the same if everyone can't see you doing that.

I wish our little charity group had your problem, though, Rick. We'd love to have more help than we can use. No snark intended, I just sincerely wish we were overflowing with help.

We did have a real piece of work one year, though. She didn't like being told that it wasn't going to be possible for her group of teenagers to wrap for us to work off their community service requirements (because of issues between what she wanted and what we needed, logistically). So...the lady knew where one of our donation boxes was in a local business that she frequents. She went in there and told them she was picking it up for us. Took it and had "her kids" wrap the presents...and then donated them to a different charity in her facility's name! Uhhhh, hello, that's ILLEGAL! As it happens, the business she picked up from was one of our biggest supporters, and they donated a lot of stuff that we counted on every year when we were figuring how far things were going to stretch. We let it go because ultimately the toys got to children and that matters the most. But I just couldn't believe that lady!

 

[RickinNYC]

As rude as this might sound...for some people I think it's just "fashionable." And they don't want to do the hard thankless work during the year behind the scenes, they want to do the high profile thing on the big day that shows how much they are sacrificing...it's just not the same if everyone can't see you doing that.

I wish our little charity group had your problem, though, Rick. We'd love to have more help than we can use. No snark intended, I just sincerely wish we were overflowing with help.

We did have a real piece of work one year, though. She didn't like being told that it wasn't going to be possible for her group of teenagers to wrap for us to work off their community service requirements (because of issues between what she wanted and what we needed, logistically). So...the lady knew where one of our donation boxes was in a local business that she frequents. She went in there and told them she was picking it up for us. Took it and had "her kids" wrap the presents...and then donated them to a different charity in her facility's name! Uhhhh, hello, that's ILLEGAL! As it happens, the business she picked up from was one of our biggest supporters, and they donated a lot of stuff that we counted on every year when we were figuring how far things were going to stretch. We let it go because ultimately the toys got to children and that matters the most. But I just couldn't believe that lady!

To your first point, there are indeed some (thankfully the minority) that do think this way. They want to volunteer so that they can tell their friends and family what they did on Thanksgiving Day. Again, those people are very much in the minority and it's pretty easy to pick them out in a crowd. But I'll put them to work like any other volunteer in any case.

As to your second concern, not sure if you've looked into it but check out Volunteermatch.org. They're a fantastic website for those looking to volunteer. It's searchable by zip code, distance, type of work and type of charity. All the postings there are by folks like me; volunteer managers/coordinators/directors use it ALL the time. I know I do. Also, try posting your needs on Craigslist. That's always good for last minute "I NEED HELP FAST AND LOCAL!"

I found a piano tuner, photographers, a ball room dance instructor, a jazz trio, a theater director, a yoga instructor, literacy tutors and more from both sites.

To you third, HOLY CRAP!

 

[Serena]

People really are amazing aren't they.
But I love how you tell the stories, you have an amazing point of view and sense of humor.