Dilemma - my sister wants to come with us

[MNT568]

I have a dilemma. I need opinions.

My DS and I are planning our annual trip for August. My DS will be 9 at the time of the trip. This will be our 4th year going in August. We really enjoy our August trips. We are thinking about staying at CBR.

Well, the other night my sister tells me that she wants to come with us. It would be her and her DS (who will be 23 months in August). I would love to have them come with us but I personally think that August would be too hot for the baby. I think she should wait and take him in the late fall. I told her maybe we could squeeze in a long weekend trip in December for all of us. It is not like she has a school schedule to worry about.

Also, we refer to my sister as 'Princess'. (She expects everyone to wait on her!) I can see me being the one to lug the stroller on and off the buses. And God forbid the bus is crowd, that would be my fault. Also, if things don't go as planned, that would be my fault as well. The reason she wants to go with us is that she wants me to do all the planning. Which I love to do but again the whole 'Princess' thing comes into play.

My DS and I have gotten to the point where we do whatever we want, whenever we want. If they come with us, we have to work around naps and mealtimes.

My sister told me that SHE needs a vacation, I told her it wouldn't be very restful with the heat and humidity. The baby may not do well in the heat. Plus the afternoon rain. Sometimes, my DS and I just run in the rain!

Am I being selfish or unreasonable?

 

[Darcy03231]

I would let your sister know what my plans were and then let her make her own plans. I would be upfront about how you plan to do your vacation and if she want to tag along fine and if not, that's fine too. I did WDW w/my sister once and that's how I handled it (my sister can be a "princess" too, if you let her). I let her know up front that I would babysit for one night (and let her know which night it would be) so she could go out on her own if she wanted, but the rest of the time her kids were her responsibility. My children are older so we did stuff she didn't and she would go back to the hotel when and if she and her children needed a break. We has separate rooms so that wasn't an issue.

 

[hello kitty]

This is a trip that you and your son have been planning. I'm sure he's looking forward to spending quality time with YOU. It's not fair to ask him to give that up because his aunt needs a vacation. You owe this trip to yourself and your son, nobody else. If you wanted her to come along, you would have invited her.

Sometimes people really burn my britches.

 

[NU2WDW]

we refer to my sister as 'Princess'. (She expects everyone to wait on her!) I can see me being the one to lug the stroller on and off the buses. And God forbid the bus is crowd, that would be my fault. Also, if things don't go as planned, that would be my fault as well. The reason she wants to go with us is that she wants me to do all the planning. Which I love to do but again the whole 'Princess' thing comes into play.

You're actually in a dilemma over this?

This sounds like a special time every year for you & your son. There's no way I'd let an overgrown brat take that away from him. (I know it's your sister, but please).

 

[dfarner]

I agree w/ pp. This trip has become a tradition for you and your son and that's what I would tell your sister. I don't think it's being rude at all. To me it's rude that she is trying to inch her way in on the trip.

 

[daisyduck123]

Am I being selfish or unreasonable?

No, you are not.

If it were me, I would tell her that all of your ADRs (for 2 people only) & you can't change them.

Let her know you're willing to take her along in December.

NO WAY would I have her along.

 

[dis-happy]

Good luck. Family is hard.

 

[Disney_Dreaming]

Explain to her that it's a special time for you and your DS and that you don't want to break tradition. Hopefully she'll understand.

Good luck!

 

[DisneyDizzy]

I don't think you are being selfish at all. Family issues are always complicated, though. Disney vacations are expensive and special.

If you thought it would be fun and wanted to do all the baby things, that would be different. As it is, I'd try to find a nice way of telling her no.

If it were me, I'd offer to watch her baby for a long weekend while she takes a trip somewhere else. At least that way she gets her vacation and you get your vacation and everyone wins.

 

[hello kitty]

If it were me, I would tell you that all of your ADRs (for 2 people only) & you can't change them.

I wouldn't. It leaves room for further discussion.

"No worries. We don't need to eat with you."

Now you're stuck coming up with another excuse.

Explain to her that it's a special time for you and your DS and that you don't want to break tradition.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

just say no! it's gotten to the point that we don't even tell anyone we are going on vacation until the day we leave otherwise too many people want 'in' on our plans!

 

[neonurse]

I know how hard it can be with sisters, I have 2. I think you need to be firm with her and let her know that this is a special tradition between DS and you. Tell her that you would be love to help her plan a trip for another time. Be firm!!! I know it can be hard. Good luck.

 

[happy2go2wdwmom]

Hey MNT,

Why don't you call your princess sis today and get excited about planning an extra special Dec. trip?! One would think your direct comments about it being WAY TOO HOT for the baby in August would suffice. Tell her it would also be too hot for her child that month.

I spent one whole year trying to convince my sis to go to WDW---she is a bit of a princess herself---an Eyeore type, too. But Disney's magic worked on her and it was priceless seeing her transform into a happy, fun kid again. You don't want to end up with regrets, so your idea of a later trip is a good one---I mean, as long as you can swing it financially.

From what I gather, your tradition w/ your DS is too special to share, so I would talk up the benefits of going in Dec. or other months...GOOD LUCK!

 

[mdsouth]

I agree with the other posters. You should keep the August trip for just you and your son! This is a very special time for the two of you. Tell your sister that you want to enjoy this time alone with your son before he grows up and doesn't want to hang out with his mom! He will be a teenager soon and you need this time with him now. Then I would make sure not to share to many details of the trip with her (time, resort, etc).

When I went with my family DH, DS (age 8) and DD (age 2) we were unable to do lots of things due to my DD. She just couldn't take the heat and the long days -- and this was in May! My DH and I traded off, taking my DS alone in the park at times. I know I really enjoyed that time with just the two of us. It was great! We had a blast riding lots of rides and moving quickly from place to place at our own pace.

Your son would not enjoy the trip as much if your sister and her toddler tagged along. You have to think of his needs as much as your sister's needs. That being said, I would tell your sister that you are really looking forward to planning another trip for December with her and your nephew.
Then talk up the December trip a lot!!!

 

[MNT568]

I just want to say thanks, I don't feel so selfish now. I kept thinking that I was being mean. The thing is my nephew loves Mickey Mouse! Ever since he was about 6 months. It is the funniest thing. When he cries, if you sing the Mickey Mouse March, he stops crying. He carries around a stuffed Mickey everywhere he goes. My sister likes Disney but Mickey is not her favorite. So this is the big joke in our family.

Now I just have to tell her. Can you guys come tell her for me? My family has this weird way of making me feel guilty. They are coming for dinner tomorrow night, hopefully I can let her down gently then. My mom is on my side this time, so hopefully she will give me a little back up.

Oh, when I mentioned a December trip before, she said to me "can you wait that long to go?". She didn't get that my DS and I would still go in August. I asked my DS last night and he wants it just the 2 of us in August. We have traveled with family and friends before and our best trips are always the ones when it is just the two of us.

Wish me luck.

Thanks again for making me feel like I am not the meanest person.

 

[kribit]

No, you are not being selfish. I'm sure your sister will be understanding, given you planned the trip for you and ds only.

Good luck.

 

[hello kitty]

You have nothing to feel guilty about. She's the one who invited herself on your vacation.

Tell her that this trip is a very special time for you and your son. It's something that you both look forward to and plan all year for with the two of you in mind, nobody else.

If she would like to take a vacation with you, then you can plan one for a later date. If that doesn't work for her, so be it.

The end. It's not up for further discussion.

You don't have to explain anything else to her. She is an adult and a mother. She should understand what this time means to you and your son. If she doesn't get it, oh well. Better to have her throw a royal fit than to deal with your son's hurt feelings.

Good luck!

 

[mdsouth]

Best of luck tonight.
Just remember to focus on the December trip, and keep telling her how
much fun it will be for you to plan it with her.

You can even talk up the idea of how great it will be to get away from the cold Minnesota winter in December.

 

[seashoreCM]

>>> we refer to her as "Princess"
>>> DS ... do whatever we want

Let her know that this is going to be a special week for DS9 to be treated as a prince, and don't want to spoil it for him.

Unrelated family hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/family.htm

 

[DisneyDizzy]

Let us know how it went. Your trip with your son sounds very special. Good luck.