"Did Pluto Just Give You A Lap Dance?" 10 days of Naughty & Nice!

[rkrose1]

Subscribing. I just found your thread today. You are a great story teller.

 

[Leash]

****Side story:

On Saturday I was tooling the town with Dan running errands. Stopped to get gas and there was a lady putting gas into a boat for sale. Big boat with a nice size cabin and since that is on my wish list in the next few years - thought I would meander over and investigate said boat for sale.

Note to self: Whenever Tooling & Meander are in the same general vacinity...do not pass go. Do not collect your money.

Do head straight home and lock the doors.

The lady was behind the boat filling gas. I was on the island to the side of the boat and to the side of the pump to be out of her way.

"It has a bathroom. 2 showers, full kitchen, sleeps 6...blah blah blah."

In the middle of Robin Leech's, "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," I hear a gurgling. Then a sputter and it is directly next to me on the side of the boat.



I turn to my left away from the frothing noise and just in time.

It seems Mrs. Mac Daddy Cribs did not have the fuel sensor locked on the pump in the tank and was not paying attention to the amount of gallons she was putting in.

What it did seem to be was that her overflow tank was now also full and the noise...was gas.

Not from her @ss because at that time it would have been an improvement.

But from the little tiny ports in the side of the boat that squirt out gas if you are too dumb to pay attention and overfill your boat.

As I stood there, cognitive of the horrific smelling, wet, chemical slick that was spreading over my shirt, bra, pants, underoos and shoes...I thought what should I say? What should I do?

Should I get neked in the lot of the local gas station and throw my clothes into the trash so my car does not smell so bad?

Should I ask her if she is related to anyone in animal control in Florida?

After she shut off the pump and it was quiet for a few seconds...

She said...

"Oopsie. Well it has been nice talking to you, give me a call if you are interested."

No, "I am sorry."

No, "How clumsy and back wooded, one tooth, wearing granny panties can I be?"

I would have given the, "eh, no biggie," salute and acknowledgemant to either of those.

But as she leaves me standing in a puddle of gas and it looks like I just wet myself, I gave thought to my comeback.

Careful condsideration.

You see, the gas station was full. She is a well known person in the community. I knew I needed a justly thought out and decisevely executed plan!

So as she took off, windows down and were waving to others in the town...

I yelled after her...

"Hey Cindy!"

She stopped the vehicle and looked out her window and everyone else looked at us as well.

I then yelled to her:

"I forgot to say, I was sorry to hear about that rash. I am so glad the doctors can do something about it now and it doesn't always mean it is passed on to partners."



Victory was mine.

I did not say it was her who possibly had a rash or did I clarify what the rash might be. It is not in my nature to spread innuendos or gossip.

What is in my nature is to get an ounce of satisfaction after needing to throw away $200 worth of clothes without a simple, "sorry."

I know, I know. Immature Dawn and numbers 1107 and 1108 in the reasons I deserve to not get into the pearly gates!

I never claimed maturity. Just for the record.

Hi my name is Leash and I'm a lurker. So yeah I've been following your TR and never posted but what can I say, I'm anti-social (don't worry I don't bite as long as they don't take my chocolate away). But after reading this I just have to say................

Dizneydawn you're my hero!

What a wonderful comeback that involved no crude language or setting fire to aforementioned boat (away from the gas station of course, don't want to end up on the news for blowing up a gas station). Embarrassment is a key tool in the smart @$$ arsenal.

Since I have fought my way out from the land of Lurkdonia let me also say that I am happy that Baylor is healing from his burns and I hope the school steps up and gets that little psycho away from him asap.
You have a lovely family and for all your troubles I find it inspiring how strong you all are and your sense of humor is not only intact but finely honed.

Also so glad for those pictures of Dan with braces, DH needs them and the fact that a "big manly man" like that can wear them then DH can too.

Looking forward to more of your TR.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Subscribing. I just found your thread today. You are a great story teller.

Thanks so much for joining the lunacy and I plan on sending out the next installment today at some point!

Hi my name is Leash and I'm a lurker. So yeah I've been following your TR and never posted but what can I say, I'm anti-social (don't worry I don't bite as long as they don't take my chocolate away). But after reading this I just have to say................
With a name like Leash...I assumed you might be into biting...or whips...or whipcream...or whips with whipcream!
Dizneydawn you're my hero!
Good gravy...you need help for more than the fetish of the fangs if you look at me as a hero!
What a wonderful comeback that involved no crude language or setting fire to aforementioned boat (away from the gas station of course, don't want to end up on the news for blowing up a gas station). Embarrassment is a key tool in the smart @$$ arsenal.
Preach on Sistah!
Since I have fought my way out from the land of Lurkdonia let me also say that I am happy that Baylor is healing from his burns and I hope the school steps up and gets that little psycho away from him asap. I just hope the kid gets some help that his parents are not providing.
You have a lovely family and for all your troubles I find it inspiring how strong you all are and your sense of humor is not only intact but finely honed.
I inherited the fat gene from my Dad's side as well as the humor gene so I thank them. My Grandma was the funniest person I ever met and a true firecracker.
Also so glad for those pictures of Dan with braces, DH needs them and the fact that a "big manly man" like that can wear them then DH can too.
Dan had a really bad overbite and had had braces once in HS but never wore a retainer. He is paying for second time around and his Mom thinks it is hilarious!
Looking forward to more of your TR.

How long have you been lurking? And what do you think of my new bra I bought to replace the gas ruined one?

Oh Cr@p.

That's right.

You said Lurker.

Not Stalker.

As the Gas Ho would say...

"Oopsie."

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

All right - you have made it to Vero and Treynor is sleeping on the patio!

Loving the TR very much. I am enjoying the style of writing and yes, I have LOL'd more than once! Love it!

 

[29apr00]

Hi Dawn, i just found your TR and have been laughing my a$$ off for the past 2 hours! I love your sense of humer! This TR is hilarious and reminds me so much of the last WDW trip my family took with my brother and sister and I! I almosted peed my pants when you wrote about Treynor trying to jump over the parking lot poles at Universal Studios! I could sooooo see my brother doing something like that! And changin clothes in the parking lot at DTD?? I'm sure we'd have had no issues with that either! This is the best TR and keep it up!

Jennifer

 

[Dizneydawn]

All right - you have made it to Vero and Treynor is sleeping on the patio!

Loving the TR very much. I am enjoying the style of writing and yes, I have LOL'd more than once! Love it!

Glad you are liking it! Tell me when you finish!

Hi Dawn, i just found your TR and have been laughing my a$$ off for the past 2 hours! I love your sense of humer! This TR is hilarious and reminds me so much of the last WDW trip my family took with my brother and sister and I! I almosted peed my pants when you wrote about Treynor trying to jump over the parking lot poles at Universal Studios! I could sooooo see my brother doing something like that! And changin clothes in the parking lot at DTD?? I'm sure we'd have had no issues with that either! This is the best TR and keep it up!

Jennifer

Jennifer, are you straight cause I think I wanna marry you!

Are you done with it all? If so, go back at read the PTR! I actually got a few requests to highlight and link the stories from there so will try and do that later!

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

Okay, I'm making progress! Just finished reading about your day at the beach and cried over your special moments with Baylor. I love those kinds of moments with my own little guy. And treasure each and every one of them. I know you do, as well!

And I am finished reading about your round of mini golf, so I am getting there! I'm still loving it. You are so talented - you've made me laugh and cry all in the same post!

 

[29apr00]

Jennifer, are you straight cause I think I wanna marry you!

Are you done with it all? If so, go back at read the PTR! I actually got a few requests to highlight and link the stories from there so will try and do that later!

I am straight but give me a few shots of tequila and maybe we'll fly to vegas to stand infront of the big Elvis and get hitched!

I did make it all the way through...your chapters helped a lot! I skimmed the PTR to see what happened in October...i saw about your stay in the hospital for your Kidney. It wasn't until i began reading this TR that i read about Baylor. OMG how awful for your family. Glad that he made it through and you are all stronger for it.

Sure hope the school administration gets their stuff together quickly before you have to go in and take care of it for them!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Okay, I'm making progress! Just finished reading about your day at the beach and cried over your special moments with Baylor. I love those kinds of moments with my own little guy. And treasure each and every one of them. I know you do, as well!

And I am finished reading about your round of mini golf, so I am getting there! I'm still loving it. You are so talented - you've made me laugh and cry all in the same post!

You are so nice and I am loving all your stories and seeing things through your son's excitement is awesome!

I am straight but give me a few shots of tequila and maybe we'll fly to vegas to stand infront of the big Elvis and get hitched!
I see you have a vow renewal coming - we should talk - I need advice!
I did make it all the way through...your chapters helped a lot! I skimmed the PTR to see what happened in October...i saw about your stay in the hospital for your Kidney. It wasn't until i began reading this TR that i read about Baylor. OMG how awful for your family. Glad that he made it through and you are all stronger for it.

Sure hope the school administration gets their stuff together quickly before you have to go in and take care of it for them!

Things with Baylor are good. I tell ya though - I miss Treyner like crazy. 2 months is forever not to see him and 2 more till Thanksgiving!

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

Going to catch up some more today during lunch. I'm so glad you are enjoying my TR! I hope it wasn't too much doom and gloom for ya!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Hi all. I spent the morning in the doc office after a long evening and night. result: I have a kidney infection so have not been typing like I wanted. I will update you soon.

Sorry for the delay!

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

Hi all. I spent the morning in the doc office after a long evening and night. result: I have a kidney infection so have not been typing like I wanted. I will update you soon.

Sorry for the delay!

Oh, no - those are no fun at all!

Feel better!

 

[29apr00]

Boo on the Kidney infection! Hope it goes away soon!

Yup....doing our Disney Vow Renewal on Disney Cruise Line! We sail in 70 days!!! So excited!! Check out my planning journal...the link is in my siggie. it's full of everything you need to know!

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

Okay, so I've just finished your post at Universal Studios where Baylor hurt his leg (that poor baby, don't tell him I said so) and got on Jaws. Too funny what he said about the flames - good to know he's got a sense of humor about it. I can just imagine you wanting to put your arms around him and not being able to. Good for you, showing restraint like that. I don't know I'd be able to! Well, I guess I would, b/c I'd do anything for Mitchell.

I'm loving how "dark" you got at the end of the day. Very impressive!

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

I am ROLLING over your description of the lady and her little tampon friend. What was she thinking??? And who really wanted to know that she wears her boyfriend's underwear - I mean, come on! I can't imagine what your reply was.

Okay, so it looks like I've got a few more posts to go and perhaps I will be all caught up.

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

Good Morning! I hope you are feeling better today. My thoughts are with you.

Going to finish your report today or get caught up, at least. That's my goal!

I'll let you know when I'm done.

Take Care!

 

[whogirl'smom]

Hope you are feeling better today, Dawn!

 

[princess_momma]

Hey!! I just found your tr and I'm LOVING it. I love the way you write. You make me laugh and cry and...I just love it. Is Treyner in college now? I just ask because I live in CO and have a few friends in Durango!! Thats awesome!! I just love reading about what the older kids do to help Baylor feel okay and everything. Its so awesome. I haven't read through all the comments, so I'm sorry if you're sick of answering, but how is he doing? I was so glad to read about how much better its looking.

My heart really goes out to you. My son is still really young and hasn't had too many injuries yet, but he got burned by touching the outside of the oven door once. It was bad enough to blister and my heart broke as my son screamed in withering pain and the doctors told me that there was nothing I could really do except give him some Tylenol. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. That was hard enough for me. But you have such a strong family. I can really sense your bond and your love for each other. Its really magical. Baylor is really lucky to have a family like he does. I hope he is doing well and I will keep him in my prayers. I will keep your whole family in my prayers actually! All of you just really struck a chord with me, from how the way you treat each other and your senses of humor. Thank you for sharing with us!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Oh, no - those are no fun at all!

Feel better!

Thanks!

Boo on the Kidney infection! Hope it goes away soon!
3 days later a bit better!
Yup....doing our Disney Vow Renewal on Disney Cruise Line! We sail in 70 days!!! So excited!! Check out my planning journal...the link is in my siggie. it's full of everything you need to know!

Need to go read it!

Okay, so I've just finished your post at Universal Studios where Baylor hurt his leg (that poor baby, don't tell him I said so) and got on Jaws. Too funny what he said about the flames - good to know he's got a sense of humor about it. I can just imagine you wanting to put your arms around him and not being able to. Good for you, showing restraint like that. I don't know I'd be able to! Well, I guess I would, b/c I'd do anything for Mitchell.
You will and the knowledge they will never talk to you again will help as well!
I'm loving how "dark" you got at the end of the day. Very impressive!

It's just what I do. I am that amazing!

I am ROLLING over your description of the lady and her little tampon friend. What was she thinking??? And who really wanted to know that she wears her boyfriend's underwear - I mean, come on! I can't imagine what your reply was.
I think my lower jaw is still back in Orlando on teh concrete where I left it!
Okay, so it looks like I've got a few more posts to go and perhaps I will be all caught up.

Good Morning! I hope you are feeling better today. My thoughts are with you.

Going to finish your report today or get caught up, at least. That's my goal!

I'll let you know when I'm done.

Take Care!

Thanks for the well wishes and I hope you finished it!

Hope you are feeling better today, Dawn!

You are so kind!

Hey!! I just found your tr and I'm LOVING it. I love the way you write. You make me laugh and cry and...I just love it. Thanks! That really means a lot!Is Treyner you spelled his name right! Great eye for detail girl!in college now? I just ask because I live in CO and have a few friends in Durango!! Yes he is there - and ahemmm...single! How far are you away?Thats awesome!! I just love reading about what the older kids do to help Baylor feel okay and everything. Its so awesome. I haven't read through all the comments, so I'm sorry if you're sick of answering, but how is he doing? I was so glad to read about how much better its looking.
He is doing well and we just sent in papers for him tp head to Steamboat Springs for some snowboarding for winter burn camp this December!
My heart really goes out to you. My son is still really young and hasn't had too many injuries yet, but he got burned by touching the outside of the oven door once. It was bad enough to blister and my heart broke as my son screamed in withering pain and the doctors told me that there was nothing I could really do except give him some Tylenol. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. That was hard enough for me. But you have such a strong family. I can really sense your bond and your love for each other. Its really magical. Baylor is really lucky to have a family like he does. I hope he is doing well and I will keep him in my prayers. I will keep your whole family in my prayers actually! All of you just really struck a chord with me, from how the way you treat each other and your senses of humor. Thank you for sharing with us!

I see you are a young mom too! I was 19 when I had Treyner. Those boys steal your heart don't they? By the way...I di say Treyner is single - and cute...and I am his mom! It's a trifecta!


Feeling better everyone and will get the new installment up tom morning!

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

Glad you are feeling better, Dawn! I'm still not quite finished, but almost. I have had a busy weekend and have not been able to hop on. But I'm here today and will get right back to it!

P.S. I think Kimmie and Treynor would make an adorable couple.