Did anyone see Dr. Phil yesterday? That guy's a trip..

[Lucky4me]

I loved the parents whose daughter wouldn't eat her dinner. He told them not to fuss or argue with her if she didn't eat it right then. He said to bring it back out whenever she said she was hungry. The same meal! No matter how many times she refuses to not eat it, do not offer her anything else to eat until she finishes it! Eventually she will eat. Kids will not starve themselves to death.

While that sounds all good in theory, how many parents could actually follow through on this? Not me. I'm just not that tough.

We go by the three bite rule. She must eat three bites of whatever I'm serving, she doesn't have to finish if she doesn't like it. If she's still hungry she can make a pb&j. We have pleasant meals.

I like some of Dr. Phils theories but sometimes he is just not realistic. I often wonder if he practices what he preaches....

 

[DixieDreamer]

I think it is cruel to force children to eat things they do not like. I suscribe to the theory... that I place a variety of good food on the table.. they may eat what they want ... although I ask they try one bite before declining something. What I won't allow... is snacking between meals if they did not eat reasonably during the meal time. Nor will I cook items to replace the meal selections... I am not a short order cook. This has worked really well and my daughter actually eats just about anything placed on the table.

I remember my parents forcing me to eat a large serving of liver - it took two days and I was basically an emotional mess when it was all over.

I DETEST liver to this day... I literally gag at the smell of it. How is that important that I (or any child) should be forced to eat something they really do not like?

 

[SeaSpray]

I did happen to catch a few minutes of Dr Phil yesterday. I didn't see it all, but I did see the segment with the little boy who wouldn't eat what his parents gave him.

I don't think Dr Phil told them to give the boy food he didn't like. It was more of a power struggle, that the boy wouldn't eat anything unless HE wanted to eat it at that moment. I did see them trying to force him to eat green beans, they didn't say whether he liked them or not, they only said he didn't want to eat them.

I have to say, I DO NOT believe in forcing a child to eat something they truly dislike. But I know my own DSs will often say they "don't like" something just because they're not in the mood for it at that meal. In those cases, I won't let them eat a different meal, such as a sandwich. When I do make something I KNOW they don't like, I don't force them to eat it, I let them have an alternative. But I won't cook 2 different meals; they can have a sandwich or soup or something else that's quick and easy that THEY can prepare for themselves. (My DSs are 14 and 11, and are comfortable in the kitchen preparing simple items).

That little boy on Dr. Phil yesterday had issues other than what his parents were giving him for dinner, that's for sure. And I think that's what Dr Phil was trying to address.

Again, for the record, I DO NOT believe in forcing a child to eat what they truly don't like, but on the otherhand, they should not be allowed to dictate what they will or won't eat, at every meal, like the boy in the video was.

 

[Disney Doll]

My mother cooked dinner. If you didn't eat it, you were good and hungry the next morning, so you ate a good breakfast !

 

[Lucky4me]

I saw that little boy, wow did he OWN his parents! Dr Phil was right about him. If they don't do something now about that kids anger, they would have some huge problems later on.

The story I was referring to was a little girl, I can't remember how old she was.

 

[Leota]

How about the breast feeding 5 & 7 year olds?
I think mainly, the parts of the show I saw, were on parental boundaries & not letting your kids run the show.
I was just reading a Garrison Keilor book "Woebegone Boy", where he says something along the lines of "Remember when parents didn't revolve their lives around their kids? When they had their own lives that were a mystery to us?" I thought that a very true observation....

 

[Lucky4me]

Leota, I wonder why Phil didn't jump all over that woman for breastfeeding a 7yo? I KNOW he thought it was bizarre but you could tell he was holding back for some reason. I guess he does have a sensitive side after all. All I know is that lady really gave me the creeps. "They won't let me stop" was her response. ???? I didn't buy it. It was her deal, not theirs. Breastfeeding is okay for infants and even young toddlers, but a 7 year old?! She had one oar out of the water for sure....

 

[believe]

When DD was younger we did the put the plate away and when she said she was hungry we would pull it back out....I didn't give her things she did not like, she just wanted junk instead. This really worked for her and she doesn't give me quite the struggle now. She knows she either eats it now or later...her choice. DD#2 loves to eat and does thrive as much on 'junk' so we don't have to do this quite as much with her.

 

[minnieandmickey]

Rule at my house, You eat what I make or you don't eat at all. May sound cruel, but the last time I looked I lived in a house not the local Diner. Although, does anyone remember Mommy Dearest, didn't Joan Crawford do the same thing Dr. Phil suggested to her daugter?LOL

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by Lucky4me
He said to bring it back out whenever she said she was hungry. The same meal! No matter how many times she refuses to not eat it, do not offer her anything else to eat until she finishes it! Eventually she will eat. Kids will not starve themselves to death.

That would make me sick. I am sure the technique would work but I couldn't do it.

 

[annemariec]

I wasn't a picky eater as a child. My only things I didn't like was/is raw onions or green peppers (if they were cooked in dishes it was ok) and no beets. To this day I've never eaten a beet. I had a substitute teacher try to force it on me (for some reason she inspected plates) in our school cafeteria. Panic time. I had to think fast and tell her I was allergic to it. It worked.

IMO just about everyone has certain foods they just don't like. Why should kids be any different? (Yes, it's generally a good thing to try them first.) As long as there is a few things on the table that they do like, or an alternative that doesn't involve extra cooking, I'd be ok with that.

As an aside, Leota, I love Garrison Keilor! Not that long ago we had a radio station that would play his, "Tales from Lake Woebegone". He's a wonderful storyteller. Great voice and timing too.

Annemarie

 

[Serena]

I only had a problem when my girls were little, and not very often then. It was simple. Here's your plate, this is what we are having. It's your choice whether to eat or not.

Now, they eat just about anything. I make sure to fix something they like for the meal. If they aren't hungry, they aren't hungry. They are more likely to eat veggies and fruit than junk most of the time anyway.

 

[d.kurz]

Oh, DixieDreamer....I have the same sort of memory, only mine involves lima beans....swallowing them whole, gagging, hurling and still FINISHING them. Oddly, my mother says she doesn't remember this.

 

[nativetxn]

DD, my mother did the same thing to me. I just hated liver, I think it's the texture that bothers me. I don't think I suffered any permanent damage though. She thought she was helping me because I was anemic, I had to eat liver twice a week. This was back in the olden days though, I suppose it was cruel, I didn't think it was cruel at the time. I still don't think she was being cruel, but that's just me.