Did anyone NOT baptize their kids?

[KariC]

umm....what does ivf have to do with baptism? (my 3 are, as well)

DH and I are dunked, me at 14, he at 18 (and he's one of those "elder's kids"). Our children will be baptized when they choose, if they choose. We pray that they do. The twins have both discussed it, but we feel they need to be older.

I do understand the posters that have mentioned they would be disappointed if their children chose to be baptized, when they themselves don't believe. See, we all choose what we believe to be truth. So, the "non-believers" (for lack of a better term) have chosen their truth. If their children choose a different truth, it might seem as though they are doubting their parents intellect, reasoning, what have you. However, as a "believer", I would be happy for their children. KWIM?

Just out of interest how would you feel if your son or daughter said they wanted to become a Muslim?



I HEAR you on this one....this is pretty much how I feel about my DD. That said, as an athiest, I have some sympathy with those who have said they would be disappointed if their son or daughter wanted to be baptised!

(quoted myself again as context)

I would be disappointed. Obviously, as a born again Christian, Islam is not the truth that I chose. So, any choice my children might make that differs from what I believe to be true would disappoint me.

Would you feel the same way if your daughter chose Christianity or Islam over atheism? (just curious)

 

[Talking Hands]

My kids were not baptized until they decided to accept Christ themselves. We do not do infant baptism. It is personal decision.

 

[moppety]

Where I grew up in the Deep South, the term was a derogatory one used to refer to Pentecostals. It came from their sometime custom of rolling around on the floor when taken with the Holy Spirit. It was very specific to those sects only, never used to refer to anyone who was mainstream Protestant.

Thank you so much! I had no idea. I love the DIS, I learn something new every day.

I am from the Deep South as well, but had never known the real definition.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I just have to object to those who say "not a believer"..
Some of us ARE believers, we just believe in a different faith.

 

[jimmiej]

We don't believe the child is going to hell if they die without the benefit of baptism -- we know that God's grace is more than sufficient to cover that risk. As someone has already pointed out -- baptism is an outward sign of an inner and invisible reality. I would much prefer that families honour and recognize that reality instead of giving in to the well-meaning but misdirected pressures of other relatives.

Well said, RoyalCanadian!

 

[NY Disney fan]

How does your spouse feel?

Divorced. He doesn't have a say in the raising of the child.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

My dd was dedicated at our church when she was 9 months old (didn't have a church till she was nearly 8 months or we would have done it sooner). I personally don't believe in baptizing my baby or children until they are old enough to make that decision for themselves.

We will likely do the same with the child we are currently expecting as well. They will be dedicated but there will be no baptism until he/she fully understands what it means and decides that he/she would like to make that decision for him/herself.

I was baptized but not until I was 17.

 

[MushyMushy]

I wish we would not have baptized our daughter. We aren't really religious. But our families were pushing us into it. So, we caved and did it. Big Mistake, we now convince ourselves, that we were just thanking a higher being for our precious gift.

Same here. We were totally pressured into it and I've really regretted it over the years.

Ah well, older and wiser, ya know?

I was full-dunk baptized when I was 12 by my choice, but I shouldn't have done it. I was raised Northern Baptist and there was a lot of pressure from my church to do it when I was in middle school. They made such a BIG DEAL about baptisms and it was expected when you were a pre-teen. In anticipation of being baptized I had to take a religious classes so I knew what I was getting into and it was then that I began to question the whole Jesus thing. However, I had gone too far to change my mind *sigh*. I really should have backed out and as an adult I regret going through with it.

I went through the same thing as a Methodist and I honestly don't remember being given a choice. Maybe it was one of those things where it was assumed we knew we had a choice, but we didn't. It was just expected that kids our age would go through the classes, get baptized, and become full members of the church.

 

[ford family]

I just have to object to those who say "not a believer"..
Some of us ARE believers, we just believe in a different faith.

Not sure what you are objecting to.
I put "not a believer" because I do not hold any religious beliefs.
Why does that prevent you from saying no and then clarifying it with some reference to whatever the equivalent process is in Judaism?

ford family

 

[wildernesslodgelover]

Please do "grow a pair." I mean that in the kindest sense. I'm a Lutheran minister and I have the honour of presiding at baptismal services on a regular basis. In fact, it is one of the most enjoyable aspects of my ministry.

That said, I have counselled some families to not have their child baptized. They had no intention of raising their child in the Christian church, bringing them to worship, teaching them the creeds of the Church, the Ten Commandments, or the Lord's Prayer. Basically, they had no intention of doing anything that they were going to be promising to do in the baptismal service.

They were getting their child "done" because a relative was pressuring them to do so. The parents didn't attend worship in any church or with any Christian faith group. In fact, neither did the relative doing the pressuring.

We don't believe the child is going to hell if they die without the benefit of baptism -- we know that God's grace is more than sufficient to cover that risk. As someone has already pointed out -- baptism is an outward sign of an inner and invisible reality. I would much prefer that families honour and recognize that reality instead of giving in to the well-meaning but misdirected pressures of other relatives.

And -- as an aside -- BRAVO!!! to the family that recognized and respected the "one baptism" rule.

That was so well written, and really made me "think." I appreciate your post!

 

[JennyMominRI]

Not sure what you are objecting to.
I put "not a believer" because I do not hold any religious beliefs.
Why does that prevent you from saying no and then clarifying it with some reference to whatever the equivalent process is in Judaism?

ford family

Not directed at you at all Ford Family, it's just very common to here Non -Christians on the forum referred to as non believers.. While thats true in your casem it's not true in all cases..

 

[ford family]

Not directed at you at all Ford Family, it's just very common to hear Non-Christians on the forum referred to as non believers.. While thats true in your case it's not true in all cases..

Fair comment. I am usually an equal opportunity religion denigrator, but there is a time and a place for that and this is neither.

ford family

 

[EMom]

Where I grew up in the Deep South, the term was a derogatory one used to refer to Pentecostals. It came from their sometime custom of rolling around on the floor when taken with the Holy Spirit. It was very specific to those sects only, never used to refer to anyone who was mainstream Protestant.

I wasn't going to say anything either, for obvious reasons, but now that someone has had the nerve to mention it.......That's the only way I have ever heard it used. Yes, it can be derogatory without a doubt. But I honestly think half the people that use the term use it merely as slang. When you grow up in an area where EVERYONE is attending a conservative Protestant church of one sort or another, the Pentecostals just aren't that far outside the mainstream. We didn't even get something so "wild" as a Methodist church until junior high. I remember when it opened up, we all RAN to it because they allowed dancing.

I use "Pentecostal." Lots of people from outside areas where Pentecostals are numerous wouldn't even know what a holy roller was. Heck, many of them aren't familiar with Pentecostals. DH, unlike me, had met many Catholic and Jewish kids in his childhood. But he had not a clue what a Pentecostal was. After visiting my home town, he does now.

Still, "holy roller" is not a term I would recommend using. But it is not a catchall phrase for "fundamentalist Christian" as far as I have ever heard.

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

DD was baptised as an infant at her baby home by an Orthodox priest. The person who ran the baby home was religious and made certain all the babies were baptised. When she was little and a baby was baptised at church, she wanted to know when SHE could be baptised. I told her she'd already BEEN baptised. She said she didn't remember it. I told her that I didn't even remember it because I wasn't there when it happened.

DH and I had been planning a christening/baptism when we brought her home, only to be handed a baptismal certificate and a cross when we picked her up and told about her earlier baptism. Oh well......so much for that. Many churches, including ours, go for the "one time baptism" rule, so she was done. I guess we could have lied, but breaking a Commandment to get a baptism seems a bit twisted.

EMom - Reading this made me realize that I don't know if our adopted ds was baptized. His family was devoutly Christian. He is from a very Muslim region of Ethiopia so we went to meet his family prepared for them to ask us to raise him Muslim. We were so shocked when his father asked us to raise him Christian that it didn't even cross my mind to ask about that. I'll have to write that down to ask at the next visit.

OTOH, I have never heard of a "one baptism rule." Both dh and I were baptized twice... once as infants, once as adults. Dh was not raised with any religion. I went to church (my parents did not then but do now) but went through a major period of questioning my faith in my late teens. Dh came to Christ in his late 20's and I recommitted in my early-mid 20's. We both decided at that point to do get baptized as an outer statement of our faith. Our pastor knew about the infant baptism and didn't mention any problem at all with it (our church doesn't do infant baptism so i don't know if that changes anything). I'm also a bible theology major and don't know of any scriptual problem with it.

 

[ObsessedwiththeMouse]

To the OP, both of my children were baptized, along with my husband and myself.

We haven't been to a church service in probably over 10 years, but having the kids baptized is something that I wanted.

 

[EMom]

And -- as an aside -- BRAVO!!! to the family that recognized and respected the "one baptism" rule.

Wow....Thanks! No one has ever recognized that this WAS a sacrifice for us, but we felt we had to do the right thing. (Many of our friends were in the same position and had to make the same decision.)

We had already bought a gown and had been planning the ceremony. We had looked forward to this event for years. When you adopt a baby who is already several months old....or in some cases a toddler.....you have already missed so much of their lives. We had missed many "firsts" and had dreamed of this special event.

Then they told us she had already been baptised and we realized we had to look into the specifics of what was/was not allowed. It didn't take long, because we weren't the first adoptive parents to find ourselves in the situtation. Sadly, we had missed out on another special occasion in her short life. But we weren't going to baptise/christen her again just for show. And we still have that gown. Maybe she can use it for her child someday.

We looked on the bright side. The director was an individual who was very dedicated to the well-being of the children, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Our DD could not have come to us in better shape. She was healthy, happy, well-adjusted and even chubby. That is more than I can say for a lot of babies others brought home from other baby homes. So I'm not going to second guess anything the director did. I find it touching that the director cared enough to make sure all the babies were baptised. Some directors never give the babies a second glance.

At any rate, I appreciate you taking the time to mention our decision. I know those who do not see the meaning or value of baptism will not understand why this was a hard thing for us to have to give up, but it was.

EDITED TO ADD: I'll let Royal Canadian cover the "one baptism" issue. I'm sure he'll do a better job. For us, it just meant there would be no second infant baptism for DD....or for us.....a first infant baptism.

 

[wildernesslodgelover]

Wow....Thanks! No one has ever recognized that this WAS a sacrifice for us, but we felt we had to do the right thing. (Many of our friends were in the same position and had to make the same decision.)

We had already bought a gown and had been planning the ceremony. We had looked forward to this event for years. When you adopt a baby who is already several months old....or in some cases a toddler.....you have already missed so much of their lives. We had missed many "firsts" and had dreamed of this special event.

Then they told us she had already been baptised and we realized we had to look into the specifics of what was/was not allowed. It didn't take long, because we weren't the first adoptive parents to find ourselves in the situtation. Sadly, we had missed out on another special occasion in her short life. But we weren't going to baptise/christen her again just for show. And we still have that gown. Maybe she can use it for her child someday.

We looked on the bright side. The director was an individual who was very dedicated to the well-being of the children, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Our DD could not have come to us in better shape. She was healthy, happy, well-adjusted and even chubby. That is more than I can say for a lot of babies others brought home from other baby homes. So I'm not going to second guess anything the director did. I find it touching that the director cared enough to make sure all the babies were baptised. Some directors never give the babies a second glance.

At any rate, I appreciate you taking the time to mention our decision. I know those who do not see the meaning or value of baptism will not understand why this was a hard thing for us to have to give up, but it was.

EDITED TO ADD: I'll let Royal Canadian cover the "one baptism" issue. I'm sure he'll do a better job. For us, it just meant there would be no second infant baptism for DD....or for us.....a first infant baptism.

I never knew this, never even thought about it, really. The DISboards can really provide valuable info.

Congrats on your DD!

 

[RoyalCanadian]

EDITED TO ADD: I'll let Royal Canadian cover the "one baptism" issue. I'm sure he'll do a better job. For us, it just meant there would be no second infant baptism for DD....or for us.....a first infant baptism.

For those Christians who hold to the concept of baptism as sacrament (Anglicans, Roman Catholics, Lutherans, Orthodox come to mind) we believe that baptism is an outward sign of an inner and invisible reality. We also believe that baptism has little to do with the actions of the minister presiding at the baptism and everything to do with God acting in the life of the individual being baptized.

We also believe that this is not so much a matter of humans choosing to be baptized as it is a matter of God choosing us in our baptism.

Martin Luther held that since the act of baptism is an act of God, it is not right to re-baptize. The actions of God are done once and for all and do not need to be repeated. There is no need to repeat the washing for the remission of sins.

I have even read that we are to assume baptism has occurred if one is not sure if one has been baptized.

 

[Micca]

We didn't baptize DDs.

 

[ead79]

We don't have kids yet, but when we do we will not baptize them as infants. Our belief is that baptism is an outward sign that you do after accepting Christ as your Savior and Lord of your life. So our children could choose to be baptized at any point after accepting Christ.

DH was baptized as an infant (he grew up in a different denomination) and again as an adult since he wanted to demonstrate his belief in baptism as an expression of the inward change through accepting Christ as his Savior and Lord. I was baptized when I was 6 after accepting Christ. This may come up with my MIL when we have kids, but if so, DH and I are on the same page as far as infant baptism goes for our family.