DH dropped the D-bomb on me last night

[dawn1620]

Husband told me last night he wants a divorce. Without getting too much into detail he has not been happy for a while..I thought we were getting along better but....

The only thing I'm worried about is our 11 year old daughter - she is going to take this very hard. We are going to try and make it as amicable as possible for her sake.

I just don't know how we are going to tell her.

Edited - guess I should have posted in Community Board. oops

 

[girlnextdoornco]

Hi there, Dawn.
I'm sorry to hear about your impending divorce..but I'm so glad you and your husband are going to make it as easy on your daughter as possible. What a tough thing to have to tell her. During my time working at Focus on the Family, I came across a book that you might find helpful. It's What Children Need to Know When Parents Get Divorced by William Coleman. I hope all goes well and that your daughter understands the love you two have for her. Blessings!

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

I don't know what to say... I'm so sorry...

 

[WishesLuv]

How terrible. : ( I'm so sorry!

 

[LoveWaltDisney]

I'm sorry to hear that. For the sake of your children be as amicable as possible. Without going into too many details, when my ex and I got divorced I wanted to do everything amicably the children's sake. She couldn't do that and had to have a long and protracted court battle that took 3 1/2 years and a LOT of $$$$.

It's 7 years later now, and our kids are older. Whenever the subject comes up they always say they wish we could have divorced without the lengthy battle. They talk about how stressful that time was for them.

Do your children a favor and keep things as friendly as possible. They'll be better off for it.

 

[LockShockBarrel]

As much as you probably don't want to, I think you need to talk to your husband and discuss together how you want to tell her. It should come from both of you, not just one. Keep it simple "Mom and Dad just aren't happy together anymore, and to be happy and be better people, we need to be apart." You both still love her and that you made her together. Then you can let her ask questions and be honest, but you don't have to tell her every nitty gritty detail.

My parents separated when I was 10ish, and they told me together and I thought I should be upset, but when my father moved out and a few months went by, I loved it. He moved back in for about a year and a half and it was hell all over again, the yelling and screaming and tension was back. When they finally decided to divorce I was over the moon.

Kids pick up on more than parents realize sometimes and while she may be initially upset, she will eventually come to see it's for the best.

 

[Lionqueen2]

I'm so sorry.