DBF doesn't want me to plan!

[eternallydisney03]

Okay, kill me, I am a planner.

I have my passporter, and the unofficial guide. I've been once before w/a best friend. This is his first time in the world. I wanted to make it fun for both of us, so that we get to see and do everything we want to see. I already have all our ADRs, and am starting to plan each day of our trip and what parks to hit when, and what CS's I want to eat at.... Then, DBF comes to me with...

"Why do I have this feeling that you're going to have every second of our vacation planned out?"

How to I explain to him that planning is part of the fun, and that it is necessary when going to WDW?? Has anyone else had this problem before, and how did you deal with it? Thanks guys!! I'm just too excited!! August cannot come sooner!!

 

[bbangel]

Just keep plannning. Have a bunch of contingency plans so you can make changes and be flexible. When I planned out the Disneyland trip, my mom thought I was nuts. Once she saw how much more we could do and how much less stressful it was to have a plan, she couldn't stop thanking me. Have fun with the planning. It's almost as much fun as being there!

 

[BamaFan121s]

Lol...I understand where you're coming from, but I have to agree with him on this one. Half the fun of our trip is knowing we don't have everything planned. We don't have to be somewhere at a certain time (like at work) at back home by 6:00 (to get supper ready.) It's just relaxing and doing what we happen to be in the mood for when we wake up.

But you guys will have a blast either way.

 

[LadyZolt]

I say plan, but don't "over plan." Make some ADR's, but then just wing the CS depending on weather, what you're hungry for, etc.

One other thing -- don't tell him what you're doing. For our Land/Sea June 1 through 8 recently, I did a lot of research here on the boards, looked at the Disney site to see when EMH was for the parks, made ADR's accordingly and told DH about them, but that's really all I told him. When we got there, it all felt spontaneous to my DH, DD16 and her 15 year old friend. I'd say, "Let's go to X park tomorrow because it has this" and everyone just let me be in charge. DH was surprised at how smoothly everything went and really didn't realize that it went smoothly because I'd done my research and planning. We only had to stand in one long line (Soarin') because it was our first night there and we couldn't have gotten fast passes arriving that late. The good thing about that, though, was that everyone loved it and it was the only long line we had to stand in, so everything else seemed really fast, even if it was a 10 minute line. LOL! So, you enjoy your planning and just don't mention it to him. He'll be astounded at how well your vacation goes and you'll know the real reason why it goes so well. Have a great time!

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[Claudia Kellenberger]

For me - not only is the planning fun - but it gives me my much needed Disney Fix. Planning just makes it more *Real*.

My vacation is not until January 21st, and already I am absolutely itching to plan "What Park On What Day" It's FUN !!

If I were you, I would plan on the what park what day, and make a couple of ADR's, but not for all your meals. This way you can plan for some of the meals, and he can choose other meals on the spur of the moment.

Have a WONDERFUL Time !

 

[DepCor0311]

My DGF said the same thing...almost verbatim...(Reversed situation with me being the planner and her being the "wing it" type). The compromise was one ADR a day, and know which park we are going to be in on which day...Everything else is freelance. We are going in late Sept., so relatively low crowds should allow us to be flexible.

 

[AdventureGuru]

PLAN! and enjoy...Share little tid bits with him but dont tell him a lot...
True story...When BF and I went in 2004 -2 weeks before we were going to leave he looked at me and said "I dont know how this is going to be any fun since you've been planning for a year."
I was heart broken! I even told my mom I was going to cancel the trip...She told me not to.

We were there for 20 minutes and he was on the phone with his mother and sister telling them what a great place WDW was...I wanted to kill him!

So plan away...it will be worth it in the end
Hope this helps
Guru

 

[FOV]

My friend booked her first trip to WDW since she was a kid. She went with her dh, dd & ds. When I found out she booked a trip I bought her the UG and I began the habit of printing her information from the internet. I know I'm crazy but I can't help it! It became apparent that she is a "wing it" type so I made myself stop and tried not to talk about WDW every time I saw her.

She got back 2 weeks ago and couldn't wait to share her WDW stories. They had a *great* time but she didn't think it was worth so much $$$:

- she didn't see Fantasmic (she said they don't have it anymore )
(they didn't get park maps, just walked around)
- she didn't see *any* parades (didn't even know about MK day parade)
- got frustrated by having to wait 60+ minutes for a sit-down meal
- didn't figure out how fastpass worked until the last day
- told her kids they could have dinner at the castle and of course it was booked
- etc...

I suppose it worked out okay for her because she didn't know a lot what she was missing but I feel disappointed that her kids missed out on some of my favorite attractions at WDW.

On the other hand, she and her family found the truly magical things at WDW such as the smiles and laughter, beautiful lights around the castle and a wonderful vacation shared by the whole family.

 

[poppinspal]

My boyfriend is constantly saying I'm over planning. (But then goes on to say my love of Disney is cute...go figure.) I tried to explain to him that making some ADRs is a good thing. He still said it was over planning. So I tried telling him it kept me busy during down time at work. (Which I have a ton of.) So now I try not to mention all the planning. If he says oh we should do this I say... yeah sweetie that sounds great. Then later I laugh because I already have it planned for us.

I've been to Disney numerous times and he's really only done day trips when he has happened to be traveling in the area. So I'm sure he'll assume I have ideas of where to go when. I also left tons of time for him to pick restaurants and am totally ready to change our plans if we have to.

 

[NJBILL]

We are doing a LAnd/Sea this year.
About 9 months ago I started "the book" ( i do this every year, Disney or not) and the kids looked at and then they were not interested anymore.My wife refuses to look at it and says "why do you keep giving the book"?

I get heckled from time to time when I add pictures of new stuff.

But this year,same as all the other years,we are getting close to the date, and everyone & wife are now "interested' and are glad Dad made "the book".

If he genuinly does not like to plan..plan your heart out and give him an update every now and then..... In the end..It will payoff.

 

[FOV]

NJBill - can you explain more about "the book?"

 

[QueenofMyCastle]

I'm a planner too. My dh used to hate it but after 11 years of marriage he has come over to my side! When we were first married and we would go on vacations (not just Disney - ANY vacation!) I would get all the books and maps and plan out what to see on what days. He would complain but then once we got there he realized that we got to see and do so much more because I had read all about it and I knew what was "not-to-be-missed" and what was going to just waste our time. He would end up telling me "Boy, if I had just come by myself I would have missed x,y, and z and would have just ended up wandering around!" On our second trip to WDW together our 2 yr old son got sick with a stomach virus mid-week and me, DH and my mom had to take turns staying with him in the hotel room. My mom and DH went to AK without me and they said they just wandered around and got lost several times because I wasn't there to tell them where to go and when to go there! I agree with the previous poster, if your dbf isn't used to your planning yet just don't let him know you are planning! Just pretend you are being spontaneous..."Hey, let's go to OHana tonight!" (even though you've had ADRs there for 6 months!) Most non-planners don't mind being led around by us planners. Somebody has to know what their doing!

 

[babiesX2]

Yes, I had this problem with my parents 10 years ago. I wanted to plan and they said it is more fun to be spontaneous. Needless to say, their plan was to sleep in every morning and get to the parks when it was 110 degrees and elbow to elbow crowded. Oh, yeah, and an afternoon break for my DD who was 3 was out of the question. Five days into the trip I couldn't take it anymore. We weren't having fun plus we were hot and tired constantly. I took what money I had in my pocket, packed our stuff, called an airport shuttle service, and took a flight home. My relationship with my parents is fine now, but I don't vacation with them.

 

[eternallydisney03]

thanks everyone!! it's good to know other people have had this problem too!

I explained to DBF that planning is part of the fun for me, and that I'm not going to be a nazi about times or schedules or anything, I just like to have an idea of what park we're going to be at what day, and since it's going to be free dining we need to have adr's booked. I said, "dont you want to see as much as we can see in 7 days? we have to have some sort of attack plan for the parks and that is all i am doing. just trust me!" and he says.. "okay, i trust ya"

i think when i talk about it, and he sees me reading the books and on these boards he gets a little freaked out that it's not going to be fun because im going to have everything planned out! not the case.

 

[helenm29]

Well then...SHOOT ME TOO! I've been planning for a year now but luckilly my husband is a planner too to a certain extent. I guess the one good thing I have got for me so that I don't "over plan" is that we are going back in March (I'm already planning for that one too! ) so if I "miss" anything in October we can plan for it in March! There is NOTHING wrong with planning....GO FOR IT and HAVE LOTS OF FUN!

 

[LadyDulcinea1]

I can completely relate. DM and I are both planners, we love it! But my ex-BF was the complete opposite, and got very annoyed by my planning, when I was just trying to make things fun for both of us. Luckily, your DBf seems to be understanding, and I'm sure your planning will show its usefullness when you get there

 

[singingpixie]

I understand completely! DBF acts completely annoyed when I start talking disney months before we go, but I think to some degree he's glad. He even had the idea of going with our friends this January, WAY before I was considering going again. I agree with everyone else, plan what you want and then act spontaneous when you get there. Heck, BE spontaneous if you want to- no one says that you have to stick to your plans if you find something better in the moment!

 

[Hixski]

The first time I took my DH on vacation (he was DBF then) it was to my aunt's and uncle's house in Old Mission, Michigan. He thought I was crazy planning for that and to go to Mackinac Island and up to the UP. He did not have a clue. Once he got there he realized that if it wasn't somewhat planned it would not have been as great as it was.

Now it is 25 years later and I am the Travelnator. (You know like the terminator but.....) I even do the TA stuff for any of our friends that go with us on vacation. They just hand over their credit cards and I take care of the rest. Over plan?? No, just making sure everything works out for the best. And we still wing some things.

 

[exwdwcm]

i agree with a previous poster....keep planning, but don't tell him every single thing.

my hubby isn't a big disney fan, he puts up with it because he knows i love it. we have no kids yet. we are doing our first alone trip ever. we've been together before, but it was 10 years ago with a large family group.

i've been doing some crazy planning- already changed our flight once, added a night to our package and booked all our ADRs and came up with an itenerary! i haven't showed him any of it. he is just happy to show up, he knows i am type A and plan everything. He just doens't care to hear about it. so i share it wtih my disney nut sister instead. He will appreciate it when we get there. but it is kinda like the disney magic that happens- it is all 'behind the scenes' work in my eyes....i do all this planning and make the vacation great and he never realizes just how much time i spent with the crazy planning. the planning is a great part of the vacation experience for me, so i just do it on my own and let him reap the benefits when we get there.

 

[pepe of ohio]

Lol...I understand where you're coming from, but I have to agree with him on this one. Half the fun of our trip is knowing we don't have everything planned. We don't have to be somewhere at a certain time (like at work) at back home by 6:00 (to get supper ready.) It's just relaxing and doing what we happen to be in the mood for when we wake up.

But you guys will have a blast either way.

We plan, sort of. We basically plan which park half on which days and tend to keep our dining in those area. We do this just to save alot of busing, there are tons of places to eat in any given location or park. We know where we like to eat and what we like to see. We plan our down days but stay flexible. We do not want to follow an agenda for every half hour of every day. Like I stated, if something comes up new or we're interested in, we flex, we switch days for parks and we never visit the same park day and evening.

I know how he feels, thinking he's going to be dragged here and there, remember, a vacation is susposed to be just that, a relaxing experience filled with new and magical things. Plan alittle to know where things are and how to get around and enjoy yourselves.