Dating stinks!

[Aurora63]

ps...edited to add, in the dating world, these people who disappear and reappear are called "poofers"...this isn't the last time you'll hear from him, I'd bet you in a heartbeat he'll call you again...i've had poofers seem really interested and flake out and then call begging for another shot. It's up to you what the next step is.

Well, you called it...received a text from him today saying sorry, he had been in Miami dealing with his sister's drama. Again, why not a message BEFORE the date? I have not decided how, or if, to respond. But you called it right, Dismom!!

 

[pigletgirl]

Well, you called it...received a text from him today saying sorry, he had been in Miami dealing with his sister's drama. Again, why not a message BEFORE the date? I have not decided how, or if, to respond. But you called it right, Dismom!!

He isn't worth your time.

 

[peabody58]

Well, you called it...received a text from him today saying sorry, he had been in Miami dealing with his sister's drama. Again, why not a message BEFORE the date? I have not decided how, or if, to respond. But you called it right, Dismom!!

He's only on strike 2!! Let him have one more chance. If every woman(man) gave up after a couple of missed communications, I would never had been born!

But do draw the line at strike three.

 

[Disney Doll]

Considering he's almost 24 hours late that would be one hell of a traffic jam.....

Ok, Your first post wasn't that clear.

The guy's a loser. If he calls, don't answer.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, you called it...received a text from him today saying sorry, he had been in Miami dealing with his sister's drama. Again, why not a message BEFORE the date? I have not decided how, or if, to respond. But you called it right, Dismom!!

I'd probably say "Well, we've had a couple of missed connections so it's probably not meant to be. I wish you well" and be done.

 

[Andtototoo]

That's where I met this guy, actually. I feel no stigma with the online thing...it's really one of the few ways I meet people.

It's just annoying when this happens. I'm not asking for the impossible, just the same respect you would show to any other human. Like calling to say, "Hey, I'm sorry, but I cant make it tonight." Though that would be annoying too, at least it's being upfront.

You know what? People like that don't show respect to others. Any others. It's not just their potential dating partners. It's everyone in their orbit. I bet he treats his mother the same way. (It's like my grandmother told me when I was a teenager, "Watch how the guy treats his mother and his sister and the waitress. Because eventually, that's how he's going to treat you once he's done being on his best behavior.") People like that are generally rude and self-absorbed. You just found it out early on with this particular loser because he wasn't smart enough to be on his best behavior from the beginning.

And this bit about dealing with his sister? Yeah, right. He couldn't take 15 seconds to send a text? Unless he was solely responsible for pulling her out of a burning car and doing CPR, I doubt he was unable to find 15 seconds to send a text.

 

[bellanotte10]

I had something very similar happen to me recently. Hit it off, thought it went well, heard through the grapevine he wanted to get together again...... A
Aaa and nothing.... I texted him and he never texted back. Oh well his loss..

 

[Monte Cristo]

All the best guys are married to the ladies of the DIS. At least, that's what they'd have you believe. Sorry things didn't work out for you this time.

This is hilarious.

OP, keep looking, the right one is out there...maybe he won't be where you're looking and will fall right into your lap...but keep going.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

"Watch how the guy treats his mother and his sister and the waitress.

Especially the waiter or waitress. Watch how they treat people they do not have to treat well.

 

[MarkF0wle]

Some guys do this because they don't have a backbone & are just jerks.

I second the PlentyOfFish recommendation. I met my current girlfriend there. But those I know on there say you do get more than your fair share of weirdos.

Just play safe & wait out the right guy. Prince Charming is out there somewhere.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

"Watch how the guy treats his mother and his sister and the waitress. Because eventually, that's how he's going to treat you once he's done being on his best behavior.")

Especially the waitress. Watch how they treat people they don't have to treat well. The signs will be there.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Ok, Your first post wasn't that clear.

The guy's a loser. If he calls, don't answer.

I am not the op. I was just making a joke because you commented a full day after this thread was started.

 

[Micca]

Well, if you're going by how he treats his sister, it sounds as though he went to another city to help her with something. That might be a good sign! OTOH, he sure could have and should have called prior to missing your date. That's not good.

I'd be interested to hear from Dismom2005 who seems to have dealt with poofers. What would Dismom do next?

 

[westjones]

I don't think it was mentioned what the age of this person is, but if they are 25 or older and don't have enough consideration to text before missing a date.....forget him totally. By the age of 25 the brain is fully developed and so he is showing his true self.

If if is younger than that....he isn't ready to be real relationship yet, so forget him for now, but if you run into him later on and he seems more mature, then a second chance would not be unreasonable.

 

[Phil'sFrontier]

I want to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. I gotta think that he was not that interested in following up the first date. Maybe he was afraid of hurting your feelings or something like that. I think that in general people are good natured and do not want to hurt someone on purpose.
But what the heck do I know about dating, I have been with my girl for eight years, we don't really date anymore.

 

[sookie]

he is not that into you... i would move along. you dont need him op!

 

[Jaya]

It doesn't get any better with age, either. I was widowed in my late 50's and started dating a few years later. My first date was so traumatic I almost gave up on it, but I plowed on. It seemed like so many guys in their 60's were, for lack of a better work, "damaged". They had either given up on life or were so bitter from previous experiences that they didn't make good prospects. OR, they were looking for a nurse or a purse or both. I wasn't meeting "Mr. Right"......I was, however, meeting "Mr. Bitter", "Mr. Bankrupt", "Mr. Slobby", "Mr. Downrighy Wierd", "Mr. Psycho", and "Mr. Still-Married". Anyway, I perservered and met my ideal guy three years ago and we're set for life. I could not be happier.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

You could do what my husband and I did. We met because we sat across from each other at work and started chatting there (as in being work friends.) Then he got let go (he was a temp...I was permanent) and I sent him a message on Facebook letting him know I'd miss him (I was assuming I'd never see him again.) He added me as a friend and a month later he sent me a message out of the blue asking if I wanted to do something for my birthday. We got to know each other better as friends and got married 7 months later. I tried the blind date/online dating thing first but I hated it too.

 

[Aurora63]

Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Not that into me...I'm sure this is a possibility and even a probability. Though it is strange, in the days after our first date, I received a barage of texts from him, everything from good morning to when can we get together again? So I think maybe he was into me, at least at first...I don't think I responded in any way that would change that, but I am wondering now if maybe he has a girlfriend or, even worse, a wife.

In any case, I ignored his first apology text for a day, then heard back from him the next day, at about 6:50 in the morning...he knows I am on my way to work at about that time, saying "Hey sweety, good morning, did you get my text?" SO I was cordial and said yes, and that I hoped his sister was doing better. So of of course then he wanted to get together again, that night, but I told him I had plans...which was true.

I'm sure I haven't heard the last from him, but Im still looking. For other guys, I mean.

 

[Aurora63]

I wasn't meeting "Mr. Right"......I was, however, meeting "Mr. Bitter", "Mr. Bankrupt", "Mr. Slobby", "Mr. Downrighy Wierd", "Mr. Psycho", and "Mr. Still-Married". Anyway, I perservered and met my ideal guy three years ago and we're set for life. I could not be happier.

This is funny to me! Because all the guys I've dated since I was divorced get a name like this, to describe them...there was Mr. Publix, Mr. Microsoft, Mr. Trainer, Mr. Painter, etc, etc....thought I was the only one!