Dating Question: In your experience, has online dating worked for you if you are living in the suburbs instead of living in a big city?

[tasha99]

I met my husband on OKCupid in 2016. I was in Oregon but put my profile up for NYC since I planned to do some travel therapy on the east coast. I hadn't had huge success in the less populated areas that I'd tried (a medium sized Oregon town and a small Alaskan town.) Basically, until I tried a much bigger market, the same handful of guys kept popping up.

My best friend is doing online dating now, and has encountered a ton of scammers. They existed when I was on, but they were more obvious. She talked with a scammer for 2 months on the phone before he asked her for money. She realized what was going on when that happened, but she's still really shaken up by it because she discounted red flags and the advice of her friends. I'm so glad she realized it rather than digging in deeper, which some people do in that situation.

 

[disneychrista]

Zoom Zoom Zoom.

Sure that might work for some. But for what I am looking for the person has to be in my area. Really difficult to meet up for Pint Night or the local concert in the park if the person is 2000 miles (or whatever) away. It is difficult to even make it work with someone an hour away.

My best friend is doing online dating now, and has encountered a ton of scammers. They existed when I was on, but they were more obvious. She talked with a scammer for 2 months on the phone before he asked her for money. She realized what was going on when that happened, but she's still really shaken up by it because she discounted red flags and the advice of her friends. I'm so glad she realized it rather than digging in deeper, which some people do in that situation.

Wow that guy sure played the long game.

 

[sam_gordon]

Sure that might work for some. But for what I am looking for the person has to be in my area. Really difficult to meet up for Pint Night or the local concert in the park if the person is 2000 miles (or whatever) away. It is difficult to even make it work with someone an hour away.

Oh, I know, just poking fun. Although it worked for Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108160/

 

[disneychrista]

Oh, I know, just poking fun. Although it worked for Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108160/

I know you were kidding. I also know it can work for some people to do the long distance thing.

 

[White Cat]

Location location location.

You never know where life can take you if your open to letting it.

 

[disneychrista]

You never know where life can take you if your open to letting it.

That was my attitude going into online dating and it got me no where.

 

[Buzz Rules]

That was my attitude going into online dating and it got me no where.

My advice @disneychrista, is don't give up hope in finding your special person. I do honestly think there is someone out there for everyone.

 

[White Cat]

That was my attitude going into online dating and it got me no where.

How do you know? Your life isn’t over with. I didn’t on line date but left myself open to fate and ended up meeting someone and ended up in another country.

 

[Buzz Rules]

Hey @Buzz Rules you have posted several different threads about dating/online dating & similar. What has your experience been? Have you tried online dating? What sites/apps have you tried?

I haven't really done online dating. Most dates I have gotten in the last decade (after college) were set up by a family friend or some old high school buddies. Most of the blind dates were okay. We just realized we were better as friends than a potential couple. Most of my friends moved out of state in the last 5 years for better job opportunities, so the limited blind date options kind of disappeared after that.

Asking people out at my place of work is a big no no and it would feel wrong in my opinion to also ask a co-worker if they had a friend who might be interested in dating. Volunteer organizations aren't really a big thing where I live, especially after Covid-19. So that's partly why I have considered online dating (though I honestly believe I have a low chance of its success).

 

[disneychrista]

My advice @disneychrista, is don't give up hope in finding your special person. I do honestly think there is someone out there for everyone.

Everyone says that but I disagree. I honestly don't think everyone is meant to have someone. It is just the way it is. That is not to say that I have given up and am always open to the possibility but it is better to have realistic expectations.

How do you know? Your life isn’t over with. I didn’t on line date but left myself open to fate and ended up meeting someone and ended up in another country.

Here is my view on this. If I was to meet someone randomly and we hit it off and they happen to not live in my area, I would be open to giving it a chance. But I will not go out looking for a long distance relationship just because "you never know."

 

[Buzz Rules]

Everyone says that but I disagree. I honestly don't think everyone is meant to have someone. It is just the way it is. That is not to say that I have given up and am always open to the possibility but it is better to have realistic expectations.


Here is my view on this. If I was to meet someone randomly and we hit it off and they happen to not live in my area, I would be open to giving it a chance. But I will not go out looking for a long distance relationship just because "you never know."

You could always give the Batchelor or Married at First Sight a chance....(I'm half joking of course).

 

[disneychrista]

I haven't really done online dating. Most dates I have gotten in the last decade (after college) were set up by a family friend or some old high school buddies. Most of the blind dates were okay. We just realized we were better as friends than a potential couple. Most of my friends moved out of state in the last 5 years for better job opportunities, so the limited blind date options kind of disappeared after that.

You can keep asking questions about it or "do it." Put together a few current photos. Write up a profile. And see what happens. I know it is scary. It was for me. But just because it didn't work for me, doesn't mean it doesn't work. And it could work for you.

My advice is unless you live in a large metropolitan area, stick to the general dating apps vs the specific ones. The more limited the app the less chance you will have to find someone.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I haven't really done online dating. Most dates I have gotten in the last decade (after college) were set up by a family friend or some old high school buddies. Most of the blind dates were okay. We just realized we were better as friends than a potential couple. Most of my friends moved out of state in the last 5 years for better job opportunities, so the limited blind date options kind of disappeared after that.

Asking people out at my place of work is a big no no and it would feel wrong in my opinion to also ask a co-worker if they had a friend who might be interested in dating. Volunteer organizations aren't really a big thing where I live, especially after Covid-19. So that's partly why I have considered online dating (though I honestly believe I have a low chance of its success).

hey @Buzz Rules if I recall you're Catholic? Have you tried the old fashioned way of meeting someone at your church? Or using something like ChristianMingle.com? It seems that your faith is as important to you as my atheism is to me, so it would stand to reason that you'd want to stay within the faith. Why not look at church or getting involved in church groups that could put you in contact with other people? Maybe some churches even have singles social nights....something to think about.