Crashing hard and having a pity party. Wanna come?

[zakatak]

I haven't posted in a long time, but I do lurk. I am not worthy to post as I haven't lost any of that Disney fat I gained while on vacation. I just can't seem to get back on track. I've stayed on my "diet" (not eating meat, dairy, etc) but every day I seem to binge on something (PB&Js, zucchini bread, pasta, etc ). Every night is the same thing... plan on being good, how I will lose the weight, etc until noon, then watch out! I become a pig again.

We just got dumped again by these "friends" we had (our best friends for 8 years & my dd's Godparents). My dh wanted to see if they were receptive to being friends again, but alas, no, they dumped us again. So this time I politely emailed them asking them to stop dropping off gifts for my dd. At 5 years old, she wonders who these people are that are leaving gifts for her... (they live 1 mile away). Every time they send her something in the mail (Valentine's Day Card, etc) I have a major panic attack remembering the awful things they said about us ("Our relationship needs to be taken out in back of the barn and shot like an old dog."). I always thought of her like a sister for 8 years and she responds to that, "Not me. You were barely a friend".

I should be happy that we came to the conclusion of cutting all bonds but I am sitting here crying, shaking and trying not to throw up. How can people be so mean? So, then I try to call a friend and all I get is 3 voice mails. So here I sit, basically talking to a computer lol.

On a positive note, I refuse to let today become another binge day (and I can't eat right now anyways lol) so today is the start of my control again. I hope. My goal is to lose the weight I gained and get back down to my goal weight of 115 by September 1st. Today I weighed in at 120.8 .

Thanks for listening.
Karen

 

[Rajah]

*HUGS* Karen -- sounds like you could use a lot of these. *HUGS*

With friends like that...... I'm sorry they're being such jerks.

 

[Beastlover]

{{{{hugs}}}} Wow, that is so sad, and with them being gp to your DD is difficult. Hang in there, you are doing the right thing coming here for support. Take it easy, and focus on the good in your life. Do something for yourself today, something that will make YOU feel good. {{{{hugs}}}}

 

[mowsie dreamer]

. I am not worthy to post as I haven't lost any of that Disney fat I gained while on vacation.

WRONG!!!! Of course you are worthy to post, Karen!! All of us are here for the same reason--to lose weight and get healthy!! ALL of us stumble and fall along the way and that's what we are here for--to help each other get up and get back on the road to good health. You are only feeling what we have all felt at times!!! {{{{Hugs}}}}

Don't waste another minute of your time on these mean and vicious people! You are well rid of them!! Put them behind you and don't have another thought about them. People like that just live to make you miserable, so the best revenge you can get is to deny them that pleasure by forgetting them! Hey- talking to a computer has to be preferable to talking to them! LOL!

I hope you are feeling better about all this soon. And the situation is not so bad!! Those five pounds will come off in no time and you'll be back at your goal weight!

 

[zakatak]

Thanks, everyone. It is already 3:30pm and I haven't binged yet! I did have a healthy lunch, so that is good. Now, after swimming, the kids and I are settling down to watch Nightmare Before Christmas... I hope it is good.

Thank you for the hugs. They really did help.

K

 

[binny]

(((hugs))))

That is terrible~

 

[Beanie]

Hugs, Karen!! I am sorry to hear you were off track for a while but very happy to see you are back on!! Please don't ever think you are not worthy of being on this board!! That is just not true!! We are all here for you to support and encourage each other!! Hugs!

 

[zakatak]

Well, I lost it at 7:30pm tonight. PB&J and chocolate animal crackers. Plus another bowl of rice and beans.

WHY can't I make it a single day without losing control? Well, I guess there's always tomorrow, eh? Yeah, right.

 

[KathyTX]

Oh, Karen!!!

You don't need mean people in your life. Sounds like your "friend" has some issues, and they have a lot more to do with HER than with you. People who manipulate you and your emotions in a pitiful effort to make themselves feel superior are jerks... You deserve MUCH better!

Not worthy to post? No way!!! You've been way too quiet lately, but over the past months you've often made me laugh, smile and think. I need you here! You've helped make me feel strong, and I haven't properly thanked you for that yet!

Although you think you're out of control with the binges, it sounds like they're pretty small binges. You've proven that 5 pounds and a few PB&Js won't keep you down. We have little ups and downs in life, and the trick is to recognize the ups when they're small and manageable. This little "up" is definitely manageable!

First- do you feel all the hugs being sent your way? These folks here- we know you from your caring words as part of our community. Back in the love and support of your WISH friends.

Second- if the binges are truly testing your willpower, maybe you can make a plan to cut them off at the pass. Maybe you could plan your day so that you won't ever get really, really hungry- either plan a bigger lunch so you won't be starving at dinnertime, or plan a fun midafternoon snack to satisfy some of those cravings (a low-cal chocolate pudding, 1/2 a PB&J, just something to satify those cravings before they become irresistable?)

Show your kids how they don't have to put up with being mistreated by people who pretend to be friends. Model for them the way you want them to be when they grow up, by simply rising above the bad behavior. It doesn't have to hurt, once you realize that these people are simple not worth the time or the agony. Friends treat friends with kindness and respect.

Karen, you are part of this team. A valued part. Please don't stay gone so long- we need you!

 

[Jenzebelle]

{{hugs}}
Baby steps Karen! Try your best to keep those can't resist foods out of the house. And if that's not possible, try and keep healthy alternatives (skinny cow instead of ice cream sandwiches, smoothies for a sweet craving, etc..)

You are worthy- no matter how much weight you gain or lose.

 

[Debbie]

Karen, I'm in lurk mode-off on my first leg of my journey in less than 4 hours-but I could NOT let this sit.

First, WISH is not, We're losing weight. Remember our creed:

We're
Inspired to
Stay
Healthy

And healthy is mind, body and soul. Of course you should be posting here. Of course you should be relying on your friends here on WISH. True, most of us have never met, but most of us have beeninspired by some words written on this forum. The ((((HUGS)))) that you get are not felt on the arms, but are felt in the heart. Rest your weary head here. You have a lot of shoulders ready and willing to help you through your hurt and pain.

Now, as far as the pbj-Why not start counting your meals for the day at that point. Allow yourself that sandwich. Allow yourself that one cookie, and then drink your water. (drinking your water first would help, too, I'd bet) One of my favourite meals this week was my lunch of a peanut butter and banana sandwich! I allowed myself, I planned for it, and boy did it taste good!

I've got to go,but I'll be thinking of you as I travel. Take care, my friend!