College kid going back to campus

[mjkacmom]

Lays in bed for a few days or a week until he gets better.

Lots are very ill for at least a couple of weeks, including young people.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

We are in NJ. Both DD and DSgo to school in Florida. DS lives in a dorm, DD lives in a house off campus. DS came home fir spring break and stayed home once classes went online. DD stayed during spring break since she was working. Of course she worked in a restaurant. She is not coming home. She’s 21 and even though we pay her rent etc we are not forcing her to come home. NJ is in complete quarantine I know she is being careful and it’s not like the bars and restaurants are open anyway.

 

[MillauFr]

My daughter's college encouraged students to move back home. They are not kicking them out but strongly encouraging them to leave. They are moving the remaining students into a couple of dorms that will remain open.

 

[dish rag]

Lots are very ill for at least a couple of weeks, including young people.

Then hangs out a few weeks just like any other adult does. Chances are he won’t get it.

 

[dish rag]

No, I mean very sick. But perhaps not sick enough to be hospitalized.

He’s 20. He takes care of himself. Figures it out.

 

[Hikergirl]

My dd just went back to her college apartment this past weekend.
I packed her up with food and toilet paper and ordered her 3 meals for 2 people so 6 for her.
I did what I could to encourage her to stay in her apartment. With everything closed there isn't much she can do anyway and her apartment complex has banned visitors.
She has research and classes that would be difficult to do in house full of 5 people. Being in her apartment alone (her roommate has no plans on returning) is what is best for her academically.
There are only 8 cases in that county compared to almost 200 here.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

My junior DD is home. We asked her to come home during the 2nd week if her extended Spring Break and then we’d watch what was happening and make a decision about going back in a few weeks. I can now say she agrees that she is not going back this semester. Her senior boyfriend is also home. His parents do not want him to go back, so he is staying put. This makes it so much easier for DH and me. Most of my daughter’s friends came home. There are a few hold outs left up at school, but every week a few more go home as things get more serious and the campus gets less fun. The permanent residents of her college town are getting very upset with the college kids who stayed because they are having house parties and congregating in groups. The school and the town police department issued a joint statement saying that any kids caught breaking the social distancing directives will be referred for school conduct violations. They are seriously cracking down. Plus all restaurants, bars, activities, gyms, and almost all student jobs are closed.

Kids still at school are starting to beg the ones at home to come back to school. One mom in DD’s friend group told her son that if they’re begging, it must not be that fun up there, and he’s not missing much. Another mom told her son he could go back if he could support himself while there, but he can’t because his restaurant job is now gone. She told him they have just enough money to stay current on his lease but not enough to cover his food, supplies and other expenses, which he usually pays himself.

As for college kids being adults - legally they may be (but that is even up for debate as they can’t rent cars or drink until 21), but most college kids are not self supporting or financially independent, so they are not truly adults. In addition sociologist classify them as “emerging adults” vs true adults. The emerging part means they still need support and guidance with decision making.

My DS23,who is financially independent with a terrific job, also came home. He lives a couple of hours away. He is now working remotely; everything fun closed where he lives; his gainfully employed college grad roommates all went home to their parents, and he was having a hard time finding food where he lives. I think the whole situation is a little scary too, so home he came.

 

[runwad]

Our DS19 is in his off campus college apartment. He's only 30 minutes away, and has been on spring break for 3 weeks! He's up all night gaming and I just can't stand that! Next week he starts his online classes.

His lease goes till July so rent and utilities still have to be paid, so he might as well live there. He was concerned about this virus before we were, so he's taking it seriously not going out. But that doesn't stop him from letting his friends come over. So because of that we don't want him here. We take care of FIL82 and can't chance him catching it from us.

If he was 3 hours away like in your situation, I'm not sure? If rent still had to be paid, I'd probably let him stay.

 

[focusondisney]

Lots are very ill for at least a couple of weeks, including young people.

Young people are dieing too.

 

[samandryanmom]

Wow!!! I appreciate everyone's thoughtful replies. We had a long talk just now and I told her we would not keep bringing it up. It is her decision. Right now her plan is to go back Saturday. Online classes start Monday and she has an engineering paper due. Like a poster upthread, she has her room set up in her apartment and a routine. Although her routine will be different because there won't be actual face to face class, lunch with friends, student government meeting, etc..it'll be a new routine. If she stayed home with us, I know it would be harder for her to stick to her school routine.

Her rent is paid through the end of July and she pays for some food and entertainment. She agreed that if at any time, she felt she needed to come home, she would.

 

[2TxAgs]

It is amazing to me how often I see something on the DIS that reflects exactly what my family is dealing with!!!

My DD22 was home for part of spring break but went back to her off campus apt for the remainder of the school year. It was absolutely to be with her friends. We talked about how careful they need to be. In just under 3 months, she'll be graduated and employed possibly in another city/state and I couldn't have demanded she come back then, so I didn't feel like it made sense to insist she stay now. A parent whose child enlists in the service deals with the scary and unknown future their child has chosen, and to me this is the same. I say my prayers and hope we all escape the worst.

It's tough being a parent and rarely is there only one right answer.

 

[HerRoyalHighness]

Not saying this is your situation, but I have a sibling...who is stuck at home not getting to go anywhere... that is driving their home from college child bat-poop crazy right now being overly concerned about them getting their college work done. If their child had an apartment to go back to instead of their dorm...they would have gone back several days ago.

 

[okeydokey]

What will happen if he gets very sick?

He would probably be hospitalized in isolation and unable to have visitors.

 

[okeydokey]

My dorm living son is at home, my daughter is at her condo. She lives alone and is working at home and classes are online. Only goes out for groceries as needed.

 

[RamblingMad]

What would you guys do?

She's an adult. Let her make adult decisions.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

He would probably be hospitalized in isolation and unable to have visitors.

Not necessarily.

 

[momto2girls]

I have a 20 year old son. I would tell him that he was free to do as he chose, but he could not come home again until after this was over if he decided to return to campus. My wife is very much an at risk person and I would not risk her life so my son could go back and hang with his friends at college.

That’s exactly what I would tell my 19 year old daughter if she were in that situation. She would be free to do what she wanted but she wouldn't be able to come home during the duration of this virus spreading.

 

[NAB]

Funny that my daughter is going back to her apartment after being home a week. She lives alone and school , church everything shut down so she won’t be going out . She has plenty off food there too so she will be fine that way.

She has assignments due and 4 on line exams next month.

Has her own room here , only my husband and I here but to many distractions. Even the cat can side track her.

Will be 2 hours away and leaves tomorrow. I too wish she would stay but I see her struggling here so she will go until school stuff is done. Hard times.

 

[NotUrsula]

I argue for letting her go as well. That's her home now.

My DS22 just graduated and started his first full-time job 3 weeks before the emergency started. He lives alone, 900 miles away where he went to school, and there he will stay, even if he loses his job. (That isn't likely, though; he works for a medical logistics company, so they are super-busy.) He is still in training now, so is going to an office, but will be transitioning to working from home in about 2 weeks. The only person he spends time with outside of work is his GF, who isn't working right now; they are doing a lot of cocooning, though she still technically lives with her father in a different neighborhood. (Her dad works from home.) So, yes, he gets out of his house daily, but with a finite number of contacts and a lot of precautions.

 

[Colleen27]

Not saying this is your situation, but I have a sibling...who is stuck at home not getting to go anywhere... that is driving their home from college child bat-poop crazy right now being overly concerned about them getting their college work done. If their child had an apartment to go back to instead of their dorm...they would have gone back several days ago.

That's a big part of why my daughter wishes she was still on campus. My youngest is an 11yo extrovert who is climbing the walls being stuck home without friends and school and activities right now, and even when she is trying her best to be good, her energy and noise have a way of filling the house and making it hard for her big sister to focus.