Clean, nice jokes or riddles PLEASE

[lilallybean]

Hi all...I am a nurse on a long term locked unit. I post a CLEAN joke or riddle on the ward doors every morning. This helps to add just a little humor each day and maybe get folks to stop and think a little. I am starting to run low on my jokes and riddles. Anybody have any nice, clean jokes/riddles to share? Please give me the answers too, LOL!

Thanks in advance!

Oh come on I KNOW you all have some jokes/riddles to share...please help me help my patients!

 

[nativetxn]

I don't know a lot of jokes, clean or otherwise, but I can bump this back to page one for you.

Katholyn

 

[kejoda]

You could try this webiste

http://www.ahajokes.com/

 

[littleclover]

pm sent

 

[lilallybean]

Thanks all! That sure helps!

 

[3gr8kids]

My DD told me this when she was 5 - -

What animal can jump higher than a tree?

All of them - because trees can't jump!!

(hey - when it's your kid telling you - you'd laugh, too!!) LOL

 

[DVCLiz]

Why does a hummingbird hum?
Because he doesn't know the words.

What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies (an Easter joke)

What's Irish and in your back yard?
Patio furniture (Paddy O'Furniture, get it??!!)

I crack myself up sometimes!!!! These are all second grade jokes, BTW.

 

[DwarfMaster]

Courtesy of my second grader...

Why was 6 so mad?
Because Seven ate Nine.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

There were two little old ladies at a retirement home. They wanted to get the attention of two little old men. One of the ladies decided they should walk naked past the two old men, so they did. One man said to the other "Did you see that?" The second one said "Yes." The first one said "What were they wearing?" The second one said "I don't know. But it sure was wrinkled!"

 

[Tigrrtum]

Did you hear the story about the circus ringmaster who is so upset?

It seems his "Human Cannonball" just gave his 30 day notice.

The ringmaster went frantically over to the performer in the dining tent and pleaded,

"You can't leave me like this! There is no way I will ever be able to find someone of your caliber!"