Christmas Eve Dinner conundrum

[lecach]

In our family when everyone gets together for Christmas (every other year) all the adults take turns in cooking. DH, DS and I are only going to be there for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day so we're not expected to help. I do make the traditional family 8 layer coconut cake though.

Anyway, for Christmas Eve my aunt and uncle volunteered to cook. Unfortunately they want to make Paula Deans Rice and Oyster caserole. DH, DS (he'll be 4) and I will NOT eat oysters. DS and DH becuase they just wont and me because I got very sick from them once. Should we say something now or just plan to make sure we have something alternate to eat? It will be noticeable if we don't eat the main dish. There are only 10 adults. I cant decide which is the best route to go. The thing is that aunt and uncle will be there all week so they could easily fix that dish on another night. I am a bit surprised that they think a 4 year old would eat oysters but they don't have kids. And unfortunately - while DS will eat most anything else he is currently on an anti-rice thing. Not sure why.

I know it is their right to fix whatever but one way or another feelings will be hurt - trying to handle this the best way for everyone.

Any advice?

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Is there ANY other food there?
If not, run thru a Publix or drive-thru before heading over there... and get something simple (chicken and potatoes) and blame it on not feeling well and not wanting to 'tempt fate' with seafood

 

[lecach]

Unfortunately we'll all be staying in a remote beach area (Hampstead NC) in condos next door to each other. There are no close restaurants near by except a Hardee's and it's about a 15 minute drive. This dish will be the only dish besides a salad. It will be VERY noticeable if we don't eat the main dish or if we eat something else.

If it were me and I was planning to cook something I would rather know in advance that a third of the guests couldn't/wouldn't eat something so I could fix something else.

But everyone may not think that way.

 

[EthansMom]

I would bring an alternate dish, saying, "Sorry, but DS won't eat oysters." I don't see any reason for anyone to be offended by a 4 year-old's refusal to eat oysters.

 

[lecach]

I would bring an alternate dish, saying, "Sorry, but DS won't eat oysters." I don't see any reason for anyone to be offended by a 4 year-old's refusal to eat oysters.

But what about DH and I? If it were just DS it would be easy to work around. But there is NO way I will eat an oyster. And DH would rather eat dirt.

 

[mum4jenn]

My husbands family used to have a tradition of Tacos on Christmas Eve. I HATE their tacos!!! THen they changed to some nasty bean soup. I had started eating before I went and had the excuse that I was not hungry. Finally I started taking chicken wings ( sometimes from Hooters and sometimes I cooked them myself) The wings were a huge hit and I guess they all got the hint after a few years because they no longer do the nasty tacos or the awful bean soup!!

I would just tell them that you are (or a child) is allergic and take something else to make. I would not feel bad about it.

Also tell the truth about the rest of your famyly. There is no sense in going hungry or making yourself sick just to make someone happy.

 

[clarabelle]

I think you should tell them -just be honest but really sweet and offer to bring something for your family.
Hopefully -they will offer to make something else.

Many people seem to eat oysters around the holidays.
My In-laws always fix oyster stew.

 

[EthansMom]

But what about DH and I? If it were just DS it would be easy to work around. But there is NO way I will eat an oyster. And DH would rather eat dirt.

If I was serving something a guest didn't care for, I would have NO PROBLEM with that guest bringing an alternate dish for the table.

I recommend making something that might kinda go okay with the oyster dish AND bring enough to share with others. Just say, "Sorry, we don't care for oysters. I hope you don't mind that we brought something to share."

 

[raysnkaysmom]

But what about DH and I? If it were just DS it would be easy to work around. But there is NO way I will eat an oyster. And DH would rather eat dirt.

lol....say you accidentally overcooked (bring enough for all) for your DS...and then everyone has a 2dish option

 

[mom2boys]

But what about DH and I? If it were just DS it would be easy to work around. But there is NO way I will eat an oyster. And DH would rather eat dirt.

Take enough of something else for everyone. Then your failure to eat the oysters won't be so noticable. Something like baked ziti or lasagna might work. Or take a ham - all the churches & firehalls have oyster & ham dinners. Then just quietly pass on the oysters. Don't make a huge deal out of it. If anyone says anything, just be honest. Your family doesn't really care for oysters. No need to deprive everyone else of a favorite meal.

 

[wvdisluv2]

I would bring an alternate dish and say "DH, DS, and I don't eat oysters" No harm, no foul

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

I would bring an alternate dish and say "DH, DS, and I don't eat oysters" No harm, no foul

Just tell the truth. Let them know that you guys do not eat them but you will bring another dish.
Make enough in case anyone else would like some

 

[lulugirl]

It's family, I would absolutely speak up!
Either they can plan an alternate meal, or you can just bring something.
When I have guests for dinner I want them to leave full & happy, I would definitely want to know ahead of time if my menu wasn't appealing.

 

[Pumbaa_]

Why not just tell your aunt that your fanily cannot eat oysters? Seems the easiest way to handle. Offer to make something for your family or do they want to switch the entree?

 

[islangrl]

Are you close to your aunt?
Is she someone that you can be upfront with?
I would just call mine up and tell her that I got sick once and DH doesn't like seafood. That you are sure it's probably really tasty cause you've tried some of Paula Dean's dishes and she sure can cook.
Tell her you just wanted to let her know so that she won't make such a big casserole, and ASK her if she would mind if you brought a little something too. She won't say no, (not that that would stop you anyway) and she won't think you're rude for just bringing another meal.
Don't even mention DS, just feed him what you brought.

 

[GeorgeG]

I agree with keeping it honest. I don't know why some people think everyone loves exotic food. I would, however, not wait to clear the air on that and politely ask if there is something more "basic" that you could bring to cover all the bases. if they get insulted, Hardees sounds pretty good.

Sorry, but I would never go and attempt to eat something I don't want to.

 

[Nancyg56]

I would just tell the truth, your family does not eat oysters and then offer to bring an additional dish.

 

[DISUNC]

YUK Oysters! Might as well be Liver!

1) I would just tell them!

2) That is a ODD dish to make for everybody when many (if not most) people dont like Oysters! Didnt they ask if you liked that?

 

[muffyn]

In our family when everyone gets together for Christmas (every other year) all the adults take turns in cooking. DH, DS and I are only going to be there for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day so we're not expected to help. I do make the traditional family 8 layer coconut cake though.

Anyway, for Christmas Eve my aunt and uncle volunteered to cook. Unfortunately they want to make Paula Deans Rice and Oyster caserole.

Any advice?

I can't add anymore advice to the rest of the comments..
but want to ask

what is the recipe for the coconut cake??

 

[shortbun]

You are allergic due to the illness they brought on, DS is four and you don't need to explain anything about your husband because you are bringing mac and cheese for the two of you. He can eat that. Is your son the only child in the group? I think it's weird that they chose such a controversial main ingredient. Many people do not eat oysters. You should take a BIG mac and cheese casserole, you might have more takers!