Christmas budget for kids and grandkids

[Pooh2]

For those with adult kids and grandkids, how do you budget?
If you had two adult kids with kids and two adult kids without kids (all married), would you budget per family, or per individual or couples?
Would grandkids get a bigger portion of the budget than the adult children?
Curious to see how others handle it.

 

[barkley]

as the only one of my (late) mom's children who had children i can just say what she did-when there were no grandkids all of us got the same (dollar value or amount) per single person/couple. when dh and i had kids she decreased our gift 'value' and allocated that to our child. by the time we had our 2nd she was basically gifting dh and 1/2 of what she gave my unmarried/no kid sibs each but went a bit over that amount for our kids.

 

[KMarston]

I have never given my kids exactly the same amount of money in gifts. The married child and H may need a mattress or washer or something plus the things I always buy. The unmarried child might not need as much one year but another year might get an expensive computer plus the things I always buy. Our grandchild gets whatever we want to give him plus a trip to WDW with us! He’s not factored into anyone’s Christmas. I typically have an overall budget but I’ve never once stressed over a dollar amount. Occasionally when wrapping I’ll decide that someone doesn’t have enough gifts and add a few more last minute. This year my son is bringing home a special friend for Christmas. While I won’t buy a large gift, there will be plenty of nice gifts for his friend to open.

 

[kymom99]

I don’t stick to a hard dollar amount either but a general amount. I also don’t go overboard with the grandkids. They all have so much stuff already that it’s almost sinful. I make sort of a family gift for each of my husbands daughters. Usually a gift card to someplace they can go as a family along with some goodies to make up a basket. Then each of their kids gets a gift. Our unmarried college age son gets more because it’s just him. Hope that made sense the way I explained it.
This year I am going to make the girls a special gift because their grandmother passed away recently. I have some old photos I’m planning to frame for them.

 

[McKelly]

I've thought about this since I'm guessing my oldest DD might get married soon. My plan is to have each child have a certain budget, similar to the way I do it now. If they are unmarried, they get the full amount, if they are married, it gets shared among the family. But of course I don't have grandbabies yet and that might get totally blown out the window once that happens! But that's the plan.

 

[twoolle]

I like the way my parents do it. Something like $150 for each kid (3 girls but only 2 married), plus $150 for each spouse. Each grandkid is about $100. There are 8 grandkids. 5 belonging to me and 3 to my sister. I cant imagine if my parents only budgeted a certain amount per family regardless of size as my kids would see they clearly got less than their cousins. So something to think about. I also appreciate they don't split my budget with my husband but welcomed him as a son with his own budget. Occasionally we will combine our budget and get something bigger needed for the house. Hope that helps!

 

[Searc]

For those with adult kids and grandkids, how do you budget?
If you had two adult kids with kids and two adult kids without kids (all married), would you budget per family, or per individual or couples?
Would grandkids get a bigger portion of the budget than the adult children?
Curious to see how others handle it.

I have a budget amount in mind for each adult child, neither married and no grandkids. DS is bringing his girlfriend to Christmas this year and I plan on getting her about $100 in gifts. Budget amounts vary from year to year, depending on what either of them wants/needs. Some years I spend more on DS, some more on DD.

When they are married, instead of dividing the budget, it will be doubled to include the new spouse. When I have grandkids, forget it, there won't be a budget. lol

 

[HHMcG]

My parents set a certain amount (currently $200) per child/spouse/grandchild. I'm sure they goes slightly over for some (-me- since I take my mom shopping and she can't resist buying a few extras).
Then they also give each family a 'large' check to put towards something big (home improvements, vacation, etc.). That is per family.


On the other side of the family we have no clue what goes on. I don't even think my FIL thinks out/knows what he is doing. The first few years after MIL passed away there was a very lopsided amount of gifts - many, many more for our niece than my 3 kids. The kids at the time ranged in age from 1-6. It was noticed by them and a little heart breaking. Since then we bring additional gifts to FILs to make it less obvious. And now that the kids are older (8-13) they can rationalize it.
We do get a check from FIL each year. No clue if SIL gets the same amount.

 

[tiggerluver12]

My parents give my brother/wife and myself/husband $1000. Each of our kiddos receive $100. That's it.

 

[McKelly]

My parents give my brother/wife and myself/husband $1000. Each of our kiddos receive $100. That's it.

So, before you were married, did you receive $1000.00 worth of gifts from your parents? Or less? This is my concern. When my DD gets married - am I expected to then give $2000.00?

 

[kymom99]

So, before you were married, did you receive $1000.00 worth of gifts from your parents? Or less? This is my concern. When my DD gets married - am I expected to then give $2000.00?

My parents didn't have a lot but they were fair to a fault. They gave each of us grown kids something to equal $50 and our spouses got the same. If we asked for a combined gift they would do that. Each grandchild got $30 worth of gifts. They included my step children when they joined our family. I don't think the dollar amount is that important. I would want to make the gifts meaningful rather than covering a dollar amount.

 

[krayzie]

So, before you were married, did you receive $1000.00 worth of gifts from your parents? Or less? This is my concern. When my DD gets married - am I expected to then give $2000.00?

It's a gift so nothing should be expected.

 

[la79al]

My mom gives the same amount of money to each child/spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend, which I think is a little excessive and then will additionally throw in some small stuff for each person. The grandkids she tries to keep equal but this year my brothers girlfriends 2 kids will be there as well so I'm not sure how that's going to play out (and really don't care. My kids have soooo much stuff already and will appreciate the new 'cousins' to play with more than anything). Ideally I would like to see an amount given per adult unit (ie, married=1 unit, single=1 unit). My mom had a health scare 2 years ago and then moved several hours away last year so honestly, getting time with her is the more important part of Christmas.

 

[ajwolfe]

My parents always spent the same amount on all kids/spouses and then as grandkids came along they got the same amount as well (I'm thinking they spent a little more on the grandkids than us) but everything was fair to a tee.

Now on my inlaws side that's basically a free for all some years with the little kids but everyone over 10 gets cash - the same amount.

 

[tiggerluver12]

So, before you were married, did you receive $1000.00 worth of gifts from your parents? Or less? This is my concern. When my DD gets married - am I expected to then give $2000.00?

No I didn't receive $1000 worth of gifts before I was married. My parents started giving the $1000 per couple after they retired and were living comfortably with extra cash on hand. The OP asked what people give and I responded on what my family does.

 

[crazylady]

When we were single, our parent gave us a cash gift. When we started getting married, they switched to giving us all a gift (the same gift for everyone of the same sex) and a cash gift per couple/single. The $ is not doubled for couples. The grandkids are a separate line item in the budget. They all receive an equal $ amount in gifts. When you turn 13, you get a gift card.


As a side note, my mom was always hyper sensitive to treating us kids equal when gift giving. When we were kids, we always had the same amount of gifts for the same amount of $. It became a joke that if you got a pack of pencils, you knew this was the year you were getting a bike or some other big dollar gift.

 

[siren0119]

As an adult child, we don't compare the price tags on the gifts we receive from my parents and in-laws LOL. My MIL likes to give us something that we can enjoy as a family (usually a membership to the museum of science or something like that) and then if we need something or have really been wanting something, she'll do what she can within her means. the kids get a couple of toys and some clothes. I have no idea what the dollar value is of the gifts we've gotten in the last 12 years, but I know that I think of my MIL whenever I use the kitchenaid mixer she got me one year, or wear the gorgeous wool scarf she got me another year. That's what really matters.

 

[Southernmiss]

Dh's parents give the kids (us) and grandkids a gift with a value of about $50. Then there are small felt stockings and mittens on the Christmas tree with $100 bills for the kids and $50s for the grandkids, regardless of who is married or not. Mother in law makes it a point to say don't buy bread and milk with the $. She wants us to treat ourselves to something we personally need or want. This has always felt like a special Christmas.

We have a married son (25), 2 sons in college and a daughter in high school.

Their gifts total between $200 and $300 depending on who needs what. I wrap their gifts in 1 to 3 boxes (no matter how many gifts there are) depending on their gifts and my energy. No more than 3 boxes and I try to keep the # of boxes even.

 

[McKelly]

No I didn't receive $1000 worth of gifts before I was married. My parents started giving the $1000 per couple after they retired and were living comfortably with extra cash on hand. The OP asked what people give and I responded on what my family does.

I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood. I thought the OP was asking how people handled things with married and unmarried kids, with and without kids. Not just a straight dollar amount. I was trying to confirm if the dollar amount changed after you were married, or if it doubled. Sounds like it changed with life circumstances. Which is an entirely different factor in the budgeting.

 

[brockash]

For those with adult kids and grandkids, how do you budget?
If you had two adult kids with kids and two adult kids without kids (all married), would you budget per family, or per individual or couples?
Would grandkids get a bigger portion of the budget than the adult children?
Curious to see how others handle it.

My parents have always given us kids generally the same amount, no matter if we had kids/didn't. The grandkids were separate... like all are individual ppl. there was no grouping into "family budgets."