child left out

[Jennasis]

OP, since you weren't there, how do you know ALL the other kids were invited? Maybe many were but maybe others were left out too. Perhaps it seemed like everyone but your kid was there, particularly since you were nursing some hurt feelings. Things can look much more bleak when you feel slighted.

 

[marlynnp]

Why can't we be more kind hearted to children? The poster said all kids were invited, but not her daughter. Plus, the party was in clear sight of her house. That had to make it harder for her daughter. I assume these were elementary kids( reading group was mentioned).
My kids are grown, but I couldn't leave someone out at that age. Shame on the Mom that hosted the party.

But then she went on to say maybe she wasn't invited because of her son?

So, is this one of those cases where a child can't attend a party unless the sibling always goes along? Maybe that's happened in the past and the inviting family didn't want to handle tag-alongs. If that's the case it may very well be the reason the daughter wasn't invited.

 

[Mermaid02]

But then she went on to say maybe she wasn't invited because of her son?

So, is this one of those cases where a child can't attend a party unless the sibling always goes along? Maybe that's happened in the past and the inviting family didn't want to handle tag-alongs. If that's the case it may very well be the reason the daughter wasn't invited.

Or maybe the party family didn't want to chance that they would ask if the son could come- the kids are pretty close in age.

Either way- it sucks to see your kids feelings hurt. She will forget about this long before Mom does. Kids are resilient (sp?) and bounce back pretty well.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

OP, it's possible your daughter wasn't invited because of your son, but not for the reason you think. I have an only child. Many of her friends were only children, and I have to admit, I hated when I had a party and because I would invite a classmate, the parents thought it was okay to bring the siblings. For DD's 5th birthday I invited a classmate who showed up with her 3 year old sister and 9 year old brother and mom dropped them off and left! It was a princess party for cripes sake! I had quite a few families who would do that. Parents would drop off their brood and go to the mall, run errands, etc. I'm sorry, but I invited ONE child, not all of your children. And I'm quite busy at my parties, I don't have time to babysit all the extra siblings. The the worst part, most of these families never bothered to RSVP, or if they did, they never mentioned bringing the rest of the family along.

Again, this was my experience. It's possible that your son's Asberger's has nothing to do with it.

 

[happygirl]

It doesn;'t really matter why the girl wasn't invited, It still breaks your heart to watch your child be left out.

 

[sturdypeasantstock]

OP, sorry to hear this. I know it hurts, I've been there many times and so have my kids. I would talk to the mother.

I do agree with some of the other posters that said not every child needs to be invited if there's 20 in the class and 10 are invited. But if only one child is excluded, I think that's wrong.

 

[diputs]

(which are really strange, a cartoon character and classical music which he conducts with a baton)

If these are the items that he is interested in, why not support these activities?

To me they are not strange, but then again, I hated boy scouts and soccer as they were not activities I was interested in as a kid.

 

[cm8]

That's a tough situation! We have neighbours who have two children. The younger one gets along well with my daughter. The older one is, well frankly a bit of a nasty brat. I've had to tell her to go home when she's being obnoxious, and then had her turn around with her hands on her hips and say, "You don't get to tell me what to do!" In my own backyard no less!

In the past my daughter has tried inviting only younger daughter to her parties (with only HER name on the written invite), only to have the parents drop off both daughters. Clearly they come as a set.

It's been several years since my daughter has tried inviting them to a party. She sticks to her school friends now.

Maybe since you know that this boy likes your daughter, but dislikes your son, you need to make it clear to his mother that your children aren't a matched set. They don't have to do everything together, and you won't be offended if she gets invited somewhere he isn't. (Unless you would be offended, that is!)

wow, she would never step foot back in my home with that attitude, and I would tell her parents the reason too!

 

[Nancyg56]

It doesn;'t really matter why the girl wasn't invited, It still breaks your heart to watch your child be left out.

Exactly.

 

[Magpie]

wow, she would never step foot back in my home with that attitude, and I would tell her parents the reason too!

Well, I would, except I've seen her speak the same way to her own father! And he didn't say a word to her about it! Meanwhile the younger one is always getting grounded for who knows what.

The funny thing is, I've actually had the parents quiz me on the younger one's behavior after she's visited, saying that she's "ADHD" and has to be watched. They always seem a little disbelieving when I say she was fine, no problems, a very nice kid. I don't see any distractibility or hyperactivity, but what do I know?

Maybe she's totally different at home.