I've not eaten at the Chef's table at V and A. We had a party of 11 at the chef's domaine at Citricos last December and I can assure you that it was very nice. We were a rowdy bunch with a three-year-old and they not only rolled with our punches, but delivered a memorable dining experience for a moderately sophisticated dining crew. The server went all-out for us, and the kitchen kept up with him!
We also ate as a group at a table at Narcoosee's the night before. Another great dining experience, but no chef's table. I don't think you'll have a bad meal at either destination. Even at Disney, dining at this level is accommodating. Don't be shy. If it is possible, they will do what they can to suit any needs you can think up.