Cheerful Funeral Clothing

[jdb in AZ]

I just read an obituary where the family has requested that people attending the funeral wear some yellow in memory of the dearly departed's favorite color and cheerful personality.

Haven't heard of that, but it sounds better than the somber black.

Thoughts?

 

[theluckyrabbit]

Well, if it's the family's specific request and it's still respecting the deceased (i.e. not mocking in any way), it might be very helpful to the family during their time of grief. Maybe they are trying to make a deliberate choice to have positive memories of the service? It beats the funeral we attended where someone showed up in a glaringly hot pink pant suit. My, my... there was a lot of blinking going on there as people tried not to go blind in church. Very interesting choice of apparel to be sure.

 

[AndreaDM]

My mom didn't request it when my dad died, but she and most family members wore at least one purple item for Alzheimer's awareness.

I would definitely do what the family requested.

 

[wgeo]

Went to a funeral where they asked everyone to wear "loud" hawaiian shirts as that was what the deceased and his partner always wore in day to day life. So everyone was in their best floral shirts and dresses. It was a lovely service.

 

[Feralpeg]

I think it's a wonderful idea. I've already told my family that I don't want a funeral. I'd much rather they throw a party in my honor. Celebrate who I was in life.

 

[blana]

When my mom died, I wanted to find a dress with yellow in it, because it was her favorite color. And I wasn't in a good place mentally to want to wear black. Because I was pregnant, my choices were much more limited, but I found a black dress with yellow and pink flowers. Had enough black to be appropriate for others. Had enough color to be what I needed it to be.

 

[luvsJack]

When my nephew died, every one wore some version of crimson red for his favorite college team (Alabama). Some wore actual tshirts from the team/school and some just wore the color. All of his pall bearers wore button down shirts in that color.

 

[NYCgrrl]

I've heard of such funerals where specific colors other than black are requested but so far have only attended one. My half sister on my father's side requested all wear something purple to her mother's funeral as it was her favorite colour. It was all tastefully done and in keeping with her family's faith. Oh and I have to say the Moravian church has such an incredibly beautiful singing style.

A dear friend who changes what Protestant sect she follows about once every 10 years wants everyone to wear yellow to her funeral. I'd ask her more about the reasoning but that would require us talking about our religious beliefs and I refuse to go down that path with her again; I'm a live and let live person when it comes to the spiritual while she has definite thoughts that she like to proselytize.

 

[RUDisney]

My cousin's obituary asked for everyone to attend in casual clothes because she always hated getting dressed up for funerals. Her point was, "who are you dressing for? The deceased?" She didn't want that. I wore a casual skirt and nice top. It's what I wore to the audience with the pope when I was in Rome, so I knew it would be appropriate and not overly dressy.

Her entire immediate family wore suits and were dressed up. Most of the mourners came in dressy, funeral attire. Had I worn slacks, I'd have felt underdressed.

You either make a request and live up to it or you don't make it. Had anyone really dressed casually, they'd have been out of place.

 

[Chirple]

My friend's stepson died suddenly while we were en route on our 2017 WBTA cruise. The obituary she texted to me was from the funeral home. It clearly stated that the family wanted everyone to dress as if they were going to a backyard barbeque with him. The wake was the same day we got home so we showered and put on shorts (and had over an hour's drive to get there). We were the only ones who did. The obituary in the newspaper did not mention casual dress at all.

 

[morgan98]

I think the tradition of wearing all black to funerals is somewhat outdated and is an old tradition. Not saying there is anything wrong with it, but just that recent funerals I have been to have had more variety in dress. I have never been to one where the family has asked for a specific color, but that is a neat idea.

I always think of it as showing up dressed neatly in an outfit that doesn't call attention to yourself. You know, no hot pink mini skirts, fish net stockings, etc...lol. But seriously something that fits properly and sort of blends in is fine, the way I look at it.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I just read an obituary where the family has requested that people attending the funeral wear some yellow in memory of the dearly departed's favorite color and cheerful personality.

Haven't heard of that, but it sounds better than the somber black.

Thoughts?

For my father-in-law's memorial service, my mother-in-law wore pink. She said, "he likes pink". And she was right. He was an artist, and everyone wearing black just wasn't him.

We attended a memorial luncheon (not a true "service") for an old college friend of my husband's recently. The request was to "wear your casual, Hawaiian shirt clothes, just like Frank would have liked"

 

[MrsDuck]

I'd do it if the family requested. I think it's nice and comforting. I know others may disagree!

I'd like people to wear colors/happy clothes when I pass.

 

[gwynne]

I just read an obituary where the family has requested that people attending the funeral wear some yellow in memory of the dearly departed's favorite color and cheerful personality.

Haven't heard of that, but it sounds better than the somber black.

Thoughts?

I don't look down on anyone wearing black. I also don't look down on anyone wearing other colors.
It is nice they are attending.

 

[kdonnel]

Funerals are for the living.

If the living want to wear cheerful colors, great.
If the living want to wear somber colors, great.
If the living don't want to attend the funeral, great.

 

[Imzadi]

A high school classmate died in our senior year due to a bad heart. The priest & family requested that we wear light, cheerful colors.

At the funeral, the priest made it clear that we were there to celebrate her short life, not mourn her. It was evident that he had known her really well. I think they must have prayed a lot together. And she had cme to terms with the knowledge it was likely she might not make it through her last operation. Which she didn't. The priest had us smiling & laughing over various anecdotes he had of her. We really left feeling glad to have had her for the time we did. It was a lovely ceremony.

 

[GoingSince1990]

Yellow? A minion costume, maybe?

 

[fly girl]

I see no problem in honoring something the deceased would like. It is rather sweet, and makes it more like a celebration of life than a dark and dreary funeral.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I think it's a lovely idea! While I lean toward black, navy, or grey for a funeral, I would have no problem wearing a cheerful color if requested.

Honestly, if it were my funeral...People can wear Halloween costumes if they'd like! That's my FAVORITE holiday, by far. Maybe I should put it in writing, "Please celebrate my life, not mourn my death. Wear something fun, be silly," etc. "Let's put the 'fun' back in 'funeral' "

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My uncle passed away in January. He was a retired high school football coach. While most attendees wore dressy/darkish clothing, a contingent of past and present players, coaches and families came in bright orange t-shirts with the school's logo. I thought it was a really nice tribute that reflected how much the school community loved him. Just before he was buried, someone put an orange cap at the head of the casket, so the school will always be with him.