Those over 30 may remember Tom Lehrer's song "Silent E" ("Who can turn a man into a mane?... Who can turn a can into a cane?..."). Inspired, I started to transform Disney attractions by adding, subtracting or changing a letter or two:
"Peter Pan's Fight" - Mary Martin and Sandy Duncan duke it out to determine who played him best. The original version of this ride was overseen by Walt Disney, who is memorialized at....
"One Man's Scream" - A tribute to Walt Disney goes horribly wrong when the cryogenic chamber shatters. Similar in premise to...
"Allen Encounter" - Guests are restrained and forced to watch old episodes of "Home Improvement," and only wish they were being ripped apart by an escaped monster. Located near...
"Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spit" - In the wake of "Toy Story Mania", it's also now 3-D, but you have to fill up the water guns yourself. This ride was preceded by...
"If You Had Wigs" - Sponsored by Eastern Hair Lines. In the days of A through E tickets, it was one of the few rides for which you didn't need toupee. Located near the former ride...
"Mission to Mass" - Come on, mom, just let me sleep in; it's Sunday morning! Not to be confused with...
"Emission Space" - Um, you might not want to go inside this ride for a few minutes. Located near the former ride...
"World of Emotion" - It's fun to be free (of psychological hang-ups). Located near the current ride...
"Bland Fiesta Tour" - Not as interesting as its predecessor, the "Rio de Tiempo". And if you like flowing water, you'll hate...
"Typhoid Lagoon" - River Country wasn't the only water park with a bacteria problem.
Anyone else want to play?...
"Peter Pan's Fight" - Mary Martin and Sandy Duncan duke it out to determine who played him best. The original version of this ride was overseen by Walt Disney, who is memorialized at....
"One Man's Scream" - A tribute to Walt Disney goes horribly wrong when the cryogenic chamber shatters. Similar in premise to...
"Allen Encounter" - Guests are restrained and forced to watch old episodes of "Home Improvement," and only wish they were being ripped apart by an escaped monster. Located near...
"Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spit" - In the wake of "Toy Story Mania", it's also now 3-D, but you have to fill up the water guns yourself. This ride was preceded by...
"If You Had Wigs" - Sponsored by Eastern Hair Lines. In the days of A through E tickets, it was one of the few rides for which you didn't need toupee. Located near the former ride...
"Mission to Mass" - Come on, mom, just let me sleep in; it's Sunday morning! Not to be confused with...
"Emission Space" - Um, you might not want to go inside this ride for a few minutes. Located near the former ride...
"World of Emotion" - It's fun to be free (of psychological hang-ups). Located near the current ride...
"Bland Fiesta Tour" - Not as interesting as its predecessor, the "Rio de Tiempo". And if you like flowing water, you'll hate...
"Typhoid Lagoon" - River Country wasn't the only water park with a bacteria problem.
Anyone else want to play?...