Cancer SUCKS!!!!!

[srburks]

That is how I feel right now. I don't post on these boards much, but I just needed to write my story and maybe it will help me get through this. My sister was diagnosed with lung cancer in November 2008. By the time they caught it is was at state IV. She fought it very hard and went through chemo and radiation. She passed away on July 25, 2009. We traveled to her home a couple of times, she lives in Florida and we live in Arkansas. The last time we saw her was February, but we talked a couple of times a week.

We are now guardians of her 2 youngest children ages 3 and 9. We have 3 older children and our youngest is 19. This is a crazy life, but we do what we have to do for my sister. I promised her that I would take care of her children, but we never thought anything would happen to her. The crazy thing is when she passed away her lungs were free of cancer. It had spread to her brain and nervous system. Luckily I don't think that she every knew how bad she was.

Sorry about the length. I just needed to talk about our life now.

Thanks.

 

[lisah0711]

I am so sorry for your loss. You lost your sister and your life has been turned upside down thanks to your generosity to your sister and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this difficult time. Be sure and take time to take care of yourself now or you won't be able to take care of everyone else.

 

[dogodisney]

Yes! Cancer really does suck!

In 2000 I was at my neighbor's bedside when she lost her battle with cancer.
In 2002 I lost my mom to cancer and 8 months later we lost my FIL and MIL to cancer too. They passed away a week apart. All 3 were taken from us within weeks of being diagnosed.

One good thing that did come from their deaths, is that I quit smoking. I am proud to say that I have been smoke free since March '03.

Right now my SIL is in treatment for a mass that is in her abdomen. So far things are looking up for her.

I know how frustrating it can be to be raising someone else child. I am raising my DGD(6). Unlike you it is not from illness.

Please know that you have friends here that are willing to listen if you need to vent.

 

[minniebeth]

srburks, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister~
How blessed her children are to have you to become part of your family with!
It is very loving of you, but not without its challenges, especially with your youngest being 19, that is a huge life change to go back to caring for children that young.
You are grieving, the children are grieving, and adjusting to a whole new life...take it one day at a time and like lisah0711 said, make sure you take care of yourself in all this too...

You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[srburks]

Thanks so much for the kind words. It just makes you feel better to get it out. It is getting a little bit easier, the kids are adjusting to the new life. I am definitely out of my element, but it is coming back to me.

We are planning a trip to Disney in October. They used to go there with their mom at least every month. It should be a lot of fun.

Thanks again. I appreciate your words.

 

[mommasita]

It really does suck..

I am sorry you lost your sister. You are surely an amazing role for those children right now, and a great aunt for them. I will keep you in my daily thoughts and prayers.

 

[tigger813]

My brother-in-law just lost his 36 year old sister-in-law the first Saturday in July! She left behind a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful girls. We saw them this past weekend. They are doing well but still suffering at times. My brother-in-law's father was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer about 18 months ago and is doing amazingly well. He had a hard time dealing with losing his daughter-in-law at such a young age and he is surviving! My dad has survived a bout of prostate cancer so I've been affected greatly with it over the past 2 years!
GOD BLESS everyone dealing with cancer in their lives! I will be praying for all of you!

 

[zalansky]

I know how you feel in a way OP. I lost both of my parents to cancer as well. Granted I was not a small child like your niece and nephew. That is just so sad for them. But thank God they have you to take them in. Please encourage people to donate to cancer research, that is the best way I have found to deal with the sadness I still feel all these years later.

www.standup2cancer.org

 

[ScrapperBelle]

ITA with you!!! Cancer does suck!!! I am so sorry for your loss.

For the past year my sister has been battling breast cancer. It has been a long, hard road with numerous surgeries, chemo, and radiation.

My heart goes out to you. Although I do not know what you are going through with her death, I do understand the helpless feeling of having a loved one fight this terrible disease.

I will be thinking of and praying for you all.

 

[anut4disney]

I totally agree. My dh of 30 years found out he had kidney cancer at the end of May 09 and passed away August 17th.

I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[llrain]

cancer really does suck. I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my mother when i was 20 to Breast cacncer
and my sister, with 2 girls (now 8 and 7) was diagnossed with breast cancer
5 years ago when she was only 32 and the girls were 3 and 2..They didnt understand why mommy was in the hospital so muc....
today with all of the research my sister is in remission....but this disease stinks...

For the last 3 years i have walked the route of the Boston Marathon, 26.2 miles for the Jimmy Fund and Dana Farber...It was the only I could clear my head for my moms death and to ensure, or help ensure that there is a chance my sister will remain in remission....
I enjoy doing it year after year...its a great feeling that research is being done and the survival rate is improving significantly..
Again my condolences to you and your family.

If anyone would wish to donate to cancer research for my walk that takes place sept 13th please visit my donation page or PM me for more information
This is how we couquer cancer...one step at a time.

http://www.jimmyfundwalk.org/bryankknight

main site:
http://www.jimmyfundwalk.org.

 

[antmaril]

I am very sorry for your loss.

I, too, loathe cancer. I lost my husband of 34 years to pancreatic cancer last year.

 

[kaffinito]

I agree - cancer does suck. It's a terrible illness that robs families of their loved ones. My Dad had 5 cancers that he survived, including stage IV prostate cancer - but mesothelioma got him in the end. I hate cancer and I really feel for your loss. Hang in there. .

 

[minkydog]

I agree - cancer does suck. It's a terrible illness that robs families of their loved ones. My Dad had 5 cancers that he survived, including stage IV prostate cancer - but mesothelioma got him in the end. I hate cancer and I really feel for your loss. Hang in there. .

My father also died of mesothelioma(the asbestos lung cancer.) It took him like a galloping horse--nothing could slow it down. And it wasn't fair--he never smoked and lived a very healthy lifestyle before healthy was cool.

OP, I have to agree with you. Cancer just sucks. Everything about it, but most especially the disruption it causes in the family. I'm very sorry that your sister passed away. I can't imagine your pain. And now you're raising 2 young children at a time in your life when you probably thought you were in the home stretch. When you get to a better place you might want to check out support groups for grandparents raising young children(I know you're not the grandparents, but I think you'd find a lot of support there.) God bless you all.