Canadian Buffoon's Hi Low Vacation - South Central Musings

[vrajewski10513]

Why did the Martian cross the road?

World Domination.

 

[pkondz]

Let's see...
So that's a ten point deduction
per emoji...

Nah. Too hard to count that high.
I only have so many toes.

Gee, thanks a LOT, Rob.

Believe me, I won't be doing that again.

That's one of those "life lessons"
that only needs to be learned once.

At least you were teenagers. Iron stomachs.

Yep.
I remember when...

Breakfast of champions!

Still is!

Hang on, I'm not finished counting the tiles.

Lemme know when you are.
I got a TR to write, ya know.


Mark's the reason this is taking so long, everyone!

Short and to the point.

Thanks for doing that, so the rest of us don't have to.

Am I not a helpful TR writer?



I didn't say "good".

Honestly, they remind me of those angelic-type creatures flying around at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, just before they all turn into monsters and start terrorizing Nazis and melting their faces off.

So I'll call them Face-melters.

That's always a wonderful response.

I prefer it to the interminable,
impenetrable automatic answering service.

At which point Ruby said, "Have fun! I'm heading for the hot tub."

She would have...
if we'd been at the hotel.

Otherwise it's 4 hours
(theoretically)
of standing in a lobby.


Of course, if she knew then
what she knows now...

Weird. So Google is either assuming you're making a ton of stops or are traveling by dog sled.

Whoops! I forgot to uncheck
the dogsled option.

Or you're traveling by rocket sled*! In which case, we need video!

Video?
I was too busy driving insanely.
Ruby was too busy hanging
on for dear life.

*I would also accept a conventional sled covered with a non-nutritive cereal varnish.

Well...that sucks.

yup.

Interesting-looking bridge. So is the fence enough to get animals to cross there? I would think moose crossing signs would be helpful so they know where to go.

Did you hear that broadcast, too?

Swanky! Very Wilderness-Lodgey. I like it!

"You're gonna sit through Dancing With The Stars for every minute of that car ride from hell you put me through!"

Good Lord!
She's not that cruel!

Or download the entire John Denver collection on your account!

Please. Take my passwords!

I guess I need glasses. I looked at that, and for the life of me couldn't read it. Getting old sucks.

That one was for the young-ens.

How about a nice heaping load or two of laundry?

Certainly not KFC. I'll go with McDonald's.

Ok. All of the tone and foreshadowing suggest it's gone forever. So I'll take a swing in the opposite direction and say it is miraculously found! Mostly because I need to take a risk and make up some points. Also because I hope there's a good story in it.

Winnipeg!

(This is where you pipe in and say, "You had your chance, jack@$$!")

Ok, fine. There are so many answers I could give. I think the biggest, most expensive and time-consuming bucket list trip for me is a tour of Australia and New Zealand. With a stop in Hawaii on the way back.

Noted.
(And... nice try.)

Yes! Properly using the animal crossing, even without a "Marvin Crossing" sign.

I'm surprised he found it without one.

 

[MeghanEmily]

In an attempt to get caught up on all missed TRs while I was away last weekend at WDW (TR to come fairly soon!!...if I ever get caught up on everyone else's first...) I've not been doing much commenting...but I had to mention that I lol'd (literally) at sealing/sealing/ceiling. Maybe I'm just really tired after our whirlwind weekend trip... It seemed really funny at the time.

 

[Kiotzu]

Really! You just started?
Ocean or fresh water?

I had been once or twice as a child but I couldn't remember it even faintly. Fresh water for now, mostly trout and bass but am looking to go ocean fishing.

Do you fish?

 

[Terra Nova guy]

They wear spurs on the fishing boats?

The best tip I have for a fishing boat (in case you ever end up cod jigging of course) is to always stand up wind of the person who is seasick. You don't want to be caught down wind in the cross fire when they are leaning over the side.

Good God!
But that looks freaking amazing!

It was great, but could have fed at least two. I ate until I was stuffed and still felt like I barely made a dent in it.

 

[QueenJen]

I saw the answer already....

Sorry...should have pointed out a potential spoiler alert.

Well apparently not.
Note the bag
bulging with water.

You still get credit in my book - you knew about a zip lock bag, had one handy, and attempted to use it.

Actually... it is.
Not a day goes by
when I don't think:
"Will Jen like this?
Will this be enough to finally win her heart?"

I mean....what more can a girl ask for?

Oh, wait... that was a comedy.

nailed it.

Not Brussels sprouts.

I drive my hubs crazy with my picky eating habits. He HATES brussels sprouts - naturally, I'm more than happy to eat them - especially when cooked with some bacon. I had fun watching him squirm - I bartered with him to 'just try them again' since he hasn't had any since child hood (he was regretting the 'just try it' line he's said to me so many times). Ahhhh...the look of blech on his face was sooooo worth it.

Good new is,
you're in North America.
So you can scratch that one off the list!

Smarty pants! I feel like I've barley scratched the surface of traveling through North America.

Why?

That would have been quite the shock to anyone in the lobby....um.....sir.....you seem to be missing something. Although.....it could have made an interesting story.....so.....Ruby had to spring pkondz from the pokey.

Mark's the reason this is taking so long, everyone!

And the class says: "Thanks Mark"

 

[pkondz]

<virtual high five back atcha>

Woot!

Sorry... <virtual Woot!>

 

[pkondz]

So Marvin counts as an animal?

Nope. He wasn't crossing.

Hunting.

Cute! Not quite as cute as the cabin, but I'd stay there.

That cabin was pretty cute, wasn't it?

1. Shopping for clothes for the girls
2. Timmies
3. I want to be optimistic, and say it was found, and you got it on the way home.
4. A long, long list of places. But Hawaii is pretty high on the list of places I haven't visited that I would like to visit.

Noted.

Oh, and I had thought I had quoted the bit about the Scullery Wench Chandelier, but it didn't come through on the list. Anyhow, I just don't think I can improve on that one!

Okay!

 

[pkondz]

Yeah, that's enough to keep the best of us away from it. It took me 10+ years to return to gravy after a similarly horrifying food incident.

DO NOT RUIN GRAVY FOR ME!!!!!

I am so sorry to hear this! I kept hoping for a happy ending to this story!

Nope. Unfortunately not.

YUM!!!

I hope your next update yields a good ipod-related surprise?!?!

I will reveal in the next update
(since it's a contest question)
if my iPod finds its way home.

Or not.

 

[pkondz]

I didn't question it. I've experienced weather colder than a refrigerator, not often, but I have....

Well, you have been to Alaska.

I have also experienced this. Quite often. Don't leave chocolate in your car.

Oh, I know.

Or cheap records.


My cousin teased my sister
by hiding her favourite "Barbie" 45 record...
in our car.

It was completely warped when we found it
the next day.

So you were just a crazy back then....

Hmmm.... I seriously thought about this.

I think I was more crazy back then.

Accurate.

Yeah, its going to be a while before I want any either. At least I got my fix a couple weeks ago.

Sorry about that.

Either:
1. Sorry that I ruined your fried chicken desire. Or;
2. Sorry if you had KFC.

I rarely eat while reading TRs. Writing them, yes. Reading them, no.

Interesting. Why?

How about "Strange women flying from ponds distributing light"?

That works!

If you get that one, you're even more warped than I thought.

You're kidding, right?
I didn't have to look that one up.

But then again....
it's just a chandelier.
Not a basis for a system of government.

Well that's Customer Service at it's finest!

Better than the automated,
infuriating auto-bot answering service.

Bummer.

Yup.

Stitching Hetty?

Alliteration: the occurrence of the same letter
or sound at the beginning of adjacent
or closely connected words.

Her name is definitely Betty.


(Yes. I know you know what alliteration is.)

Paranoid much?

Be gentle with me.
It was my first data loss.

Dang, I can hardly even see it when you point it out. My eyes are going.

Nope. It's deliberately very hard to see.

Well how in the heck am I going to make up that sort of gap?

Well... you could get one more
answer right than Liesa does.

Laundry.

Tim Hortons.

I'm gonna say (based on some discussions in March), lost forever.

Hmmmm.....that is now difficult as lots of the places I previously wanted to go aren't as appealing to me now. (Kay and I think alike on this one), but I have always wanted to see Montreal and Quebec City, and I have a friend in Australia who has been waiting on me to come visit for sometime now. I have been to Hawaii, but Fran hasn't. I would love to take her there to visit.

Noted.
Been years since I've been to Quebec.
Montreal was recent, though.

Somehow Marvin fancies himself and Elk or other wildlife sort of critter.

Likes to hunt 'em.

 

[pkondz]

I think there was a mistake in my points. I counted 74 since I only missed the phone call and boathouse.

Yup! My bad.
Fixed.

 

[pkondz]

Yikes!

Well said.

Holy Speed Racer, Batman!

You're mixing your clichés!

I kinda like it.

Ugh, bummer.

Yep.

That's so cool!

Not bad, right?

I've never had Elk.. Does it taste similar to venison?

To be honest...

I couldn't really tell.
The burger is slathered
in so much other stuff,
that I couldn't really
taste much of a difference
from beef.

But... based on tasting caribou...
I'll say yes.

Beautiful resort!

UGH! I would freak out too!

I was not a happy camper.

I wouldn't even know where to begin I have so much stuff saved on my cell phone.

Reminds me.
I should back up my data...

Questions, next round:
1. What does Ruby do that makes her happy?
(She's done this before on our trips.)
Shopping

2. Which common fast food place
do I go to, to get breakfast?
Tim Hortons

3. iPod. Found? Or lost forever?
Lost forever

4. Where do you want to travel to?
(Money is no object. But must be on Earth.)
Bora Bora

Noted.

Did you see it?
No need to PM this one.
Just go ahead and tell the world!
I did! At least Martians have safe passage across the highway!

Gotta be safe!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Let's see...
So that's a ten point deduction
per emoji...

Nah. Too hard to count that high.
I only have so many toes.

Lucky for me you haven't grown extra toes in a while.

That's one of those "life lessons"
that only needs to be learned once.

I've been through a lot of those.

Lemme know when you are.
I got a TR to write, ya know.


Mark's the reason this is taking so long, everyone!

Am I not a helpful TR writer?



I didn't say "good".

Are you not entertained??

Well, I'll say it. You're good. Terrific, even. And yes, I am entertained.

I prefer it to the interminable,
impenetrable automatic answering service.

Got a point there. There's a special place in you-know-where reserved for the inventor of those systems.

She would have...
if we'd been at the hotel.

Otherwise it's 4 hours
(theoretically)
of standing in a lobby.


Of course, if she knew then
what she knows now...

Poor Ruby. Hindsight could have change a lot of things for her.

Whoops! I forgot to uncheck
the dogsled option.

On the plus side, you've easily qualified for the Iditarod.

Never go sledding without it! Unless you have a metal plate in your head.

Did you hear that broadcast, too?

Can't say I did. But it's an old enough joke that it's been around the block.

Good Lord!
She's not that cruel!

Thank goodness! I don't think any marriage could survive that.

Please. Take my passwords!

1-2-3-4-5. Huh. Same combination I have on my luggage.

Noted.
(And... nice try.)

Dang. It was worth a shot.

 

[Tracy161]

DO NOT RUIN GRAVY FOR ME!!!!!

Okay, okay, I promise!

 

[pkondz]

Finally got my MRI date... December 27! No, seriously. Like, after Christmas.

Pardon me?
Ha Ha! I could've sworn you said December!
Obviously can't be that.

Dude. Maybe I should call back and verify 2017.

Better not.
They'll take the hint...
And move it.

I like the leading line created by the longer view of the river, and how it leads you from shadow into the sunshine.

Ah! Thanks!

I prefer Wilderness Wenches of Ambiance.

Nice one!

You must be a Canadian driver.

Gift shop!

Well, likely not KFC, so I'll guess the Golden Arches.

I am going to guess lost forever, because people.

Australia, because if money is no object, then I will also have enough time to do it right.

Noted.

Marvin, the Elk Escort. But even with the hint I had trouble locating pkondz Outfitters, sheesh!

Can't make 'em all easy!

 

[pkondz]

At least you didn't do that trip now with the bridge collapse from a few months ago. I got caught in that when I was going back to the airport during Masters weekend. I was there around 3:30 pm and it was pretty much stop and go for 10 miles. Waze App directed me around some of the real bad stuff -- but it was still not an experience I'd like to duplicate.

Ugh. I presume this is what
you're talking about:

I didn't even know about it.

I guess you can drive like that when the only cops in the country are mounted on horses...ammirite?

youarerite


sort of.
In winter,
they use dog sleds
of course.

I've got that at 10+0+15+15+12+12+10=74 points

Yup. Fixed.

I'm confused. Are you only staying in Banff one night on this trip? If so, then I would assume you're not eating at the Keg the next night -- but, since I have no shot at winning anyways, I might as well let it ride!

Okay. So you know now we didn't
eat at the Keg.

What you don't know is what we did
the next day (our last.)

Did we go back to Banff?
Did we move on to Calgary?
Something else?
Who knows!

Want to risk it?
If you still think we went back
to Banff and then to the Keg,
it'll net you 20 points.

Otherwise, if you're wrong,
you'll lose 40.

Hmmm????

Questions:

1. Shop in gift store(s) and/or laugh at you.
2. Tim Hortons
3. Lost forever
4. It'd be cool to do a long trip around the world and stop at a bunch of places along the way. I think I would do a combo of private yacht, private jet, and first class rail car. Not sure what the stops would be -- but would probably visit some Caribbean islands first while staying at private houses/villas. Lounge by the pools during the day and golf in the late afternoon. Head down to South America and do some tours of the rain forest. Board private jet and head to South Africa for an african safari. Fly up to egypt for a quick tour of the pyramids and surrounding area. Spend a month in Europe...with about 2- 5 days in some of the bigger cities, while using the railcars as mode of transportation if possible. Follow that up with those villas over the water out in the pacific for a week, then stop for a bit in Hong Kong, Shanghai and Beijing before going to Tokyo for a few days. Jet down to Australia for a week and then make a stop in Hawaii for a week. Fly into California and finish up with 3 days at Disneyland and then fly back home and rest for another week before going back to work...

...assuming I still had a job and they didn't fire me after being gone for 6 months.

In all truth -- this trip would be next to impossible with a 2 and 4 year old -- would likely be too much stress trying to move around the world with them...but it's fun to dream.

Noted.
And I'm pretty impressed
with that trip.
Not much of that I'd change.

Bonus -- Marvin is apparently a troll. How much does he charge the animals to cross?

An arm and a leg.

Keep the hooves.

 

[pkondz]

Hi Pkondz

Hi Mac!

Must have been extremely disappointed not to have got your I pod handed in to the lost property.

Just a little.


Okay... A lot.

Especially since driving all the way back there I bet disappointed is an understatement.

You could say that.
I could say that.


Let's say that.

Atleast your burger was good.

It really was.
But it did little
to make me a happy camper.

Rubish that you had to spend most of the night canceling your pass words but for piece of minds sake atleast you got that done.

Not a great feeling
to wake up in the
middle of the night
in a panic.

Marvs ls doing a good job of looking like a troll and asking for payment before you can cross his bridge.

You're the second person
in a row to make that connection.

1. Ruby got to go shopping.
2. Wendys for your breakfast.
3. I'm going with found and you saying why "o" why did I delete all my info.
4. Australia for atleast four weeks with business class flights there and back due to the lenth of the flights.

Noted.

And... think bigger.
1st class.

 

[pkondz]

World Domination.

Perfect!

 

[pkondz]

In an attempt to get caught up on all missed TRs while I was away last weekend at WDW (TR to come fairly soon!!...if I ever get caught up on everyone else's first...) I've not been doing much commenting...but I had to mention that I lol'd (literally) at sealing/sealing/ceiling. Maybe I'm just really tired after our whirlwind weekend trip... It seemed really funny at the time.

Welcome back!
Hope you had a great time.

And yes.... you're really tired.

 

[pkondz]

I had been once or twice as a child but I couldn't remember it even faintly. Fresh water for now, mostly trout and bass but am looking to go ocean fishing.

Do you fish?

I used to a bit when I was a kid.
Maybe once or thrice a summer.

Sad thing is, when I lived up North,
I kept hearing stories of people
fishing and pulling up 100+ fish
in a couple hours.

And I only went twice....
and never caught a thing.