Canadian Buffoon's Exhausted Vacation - Update 09/01 - New TR link!

[pkondz]

I have something for you. Am I allowed to mail to Canada?

Hi! Yes, of course! You still have my address?

I presume it's either a Ferrari,
Porsche, Maserati or Lamborghini.
Might be cheaper to just drive it to the border.
I'll pick it up from there.

Am I not gracious???

 

[orangecats2]

Hi! Yes, of course! You still have my address?

I presume it's either a Ferrari,
Porsche, Maserati or Lamborghini.
Might be cheaper to just drive it to the border.
I'll pick it up from there.

Am I not gracious???

Yes I found your address.
You need to think much smaller.
I’ll probably get it out sometime next week.
When can we cross borders? And get rid of masks. I’m ready to travel. I got my first vaccine shot. Second one is on the 28th. Are you getting them up there?

 

[pkondz]

Yes I found your address.
You need to think much smaller.

A Rolex is fine too.

When can we cross borders? And get rid of masks. I’m ready to travel.

Ugh. Aren't we all? I hope... someday soon.

I got my first vaccine shot. Second one is on the 28th. Are you getting them up there?

I got my first shot on the 19th, I think it was.
Every Province is different.
Here they just opened it up to 18 and older today.
No word on when the 2nd shots will happen, yet.

 

[pkondz]

Winter Wonderland

Pssst…



Hey. You. Yeah, you.
I’m going to say a dirty four-letter word.
(No, not ‘work’, although that’s bad enough.)
If there are any children present,
better shield their eyes.



Safe now?
Ready?
Okay… here it is.

(Don’t say you weren’t warned.)





Snow.





Ugh. The worst.



Although, as far as dirty words go, maybe it’s a toss-up.
I have in mind another dirty four-letter word.
Kids still gone? Or at least eyes shielded?





Cold



Despite Outkast’s assurances...

<What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold.>

Outkast - Hey Ya!

Alright, alright, alright…
It’s definitely not a pretty word.

(Can I just say I hate the way
the DIS embeds videos now?
Almost as much as I hate that
you can't edit in BB code anymore.)





If you’re still here,
and I haven’t shocked you to your core,
(or caused you to freeze up)
allow me to elaborate.
And allow me to apologize for the lack
of photos in the first part of this winter missive.
There’ll be some… but you’re going
to have to be a bit patient.

Some of you
(and by some, I mean @franandaj)
have asked me to talk about
what it’s like to live in a cold climate.

The average temperature in Winnipeg for January is -14C/7F.
Pretty cold.
But… let’s be fair here. It may be “North” if you live
In the lower 48, but Fairbanks, Alaska,
at an average January temp of -22C/-7F,
beats us hands down.


And no, we don’t all ski or skate
to work.

But… some of us do.

(That's not Winnipeg, though. That’s the Rideau Canal in Ottawa. However…)

(…however, that is me, (about 30 years ago)
and I did used to ski to work.
But that’s for the next update.)



Now before I delve into the devil’s season,
(Would it surprise you to learn that Hell is frozen?
Well, according to Dante, the center, or ninth circle, is.)
I would like to point out that we aren’t always cold here.
We actually have some of the nicest
summers you’ll find anywhere on the planet.
With average temperatures in the high
20s Celsius (high 70s/low 80s Fahrenheit)
and plenty of sunshine.
Hot days are normally not hotter than 30C-32C (89F-90F).

(Although there are blips. 42C/108F in 1936.
Or for a more recent factoid, 39C/102F in 1989.)
And for the most part, it’s a nice dry heat,
sitting as we are in the middle of the prairies.

(Blips there too, of course. 48C/118F with the
humidex (humidity + temperature) in 2007.)


But blah, blah, blah.
You want to know what it’s like
living in an icebox, not a hot box.
Heck, you may live in a hot box.



How do we survive?
What do we do with the snow?
What about shopping? Restaurants? Theatres?
How do we get around?
Do we stay indoors?


If I don’t cover something,
and you want to know… Just ask!


Let’s start with a conversation I had recently.
“I’d rather it be too cold, than too hot.”
I’ve heard this repeated almost word for word
from so many people, I’ve lost count.
“If it’s too hot, there’s nothing you can do.”
(Air conditioning notwithstanding.)
“But if it’s too cold, you can always put more clothes on.”


Well… yes.

But until you’ve really been cold,
you have no idea how much it hurts.

I will never forget hockey practices when I was a kid.
Temperature just wasn’t something we worried about,
despite the hockey rink being outdoors.
But we sure noticed it when we’d go into the change rooms
and howl in pain from our (seemingly) frozen toes.
It does not feel like your toes/feet have gone to sleep.
It feels like ten thousand invisible gnomes are stabbing
you with tiny knives.

Repeatedly.

It is not, repeat not, an enjoyable experience.
And yet… no one ever had frostbite or suffered
permanent damage.


That I know of.



Nowadays, kids have it easy.
They cancel practice if it’s too cold,
or (worse!) they play at indoor rinks.


And stay off my lawn.

It’s under the snow there, somewhere.


Okay, let’s skip ahead a few decades.
Let’s talk about a typical day in the winter.
The temperature outside is a fairly normal -20C/-4F.
But indoors, it’s a comfortable temperature
thanks to the supplied heat.
Depending on your circumstance, that can come
from radiators, electric base board heaters,
gas-heated forced air, or even geothermal;
tapping the average warmer temperatures
that are found several hundred feet underground.
(The latter is less common as it’s very expensive
to install and the costs take a couple decades to even out,
compared to the other heating methods.)

I get dressed in the same types of clothes
you might find anywhere in North America.
Jeans and a T-shirt.

(Underwear optional, but socks recommended.)

First item of the day is grocery shopping.
This might involve a few extra steps
that you may not be familiar with.
You can’t just walk out of the house,
hop in the car and go.
You have to prepare first.
Depending on the conditions, this can vary
from throwing on a pair of shoes/sneakers
and a light jacket to donning winter boots,
thick and/or down filled winter coat, accompanied
by gloves or thick mitts, a knit or fabric hat
(what we’d call a tuque, but you might call a beanie)
and possibly a scarf to cover the neck and face.

Again, that all depends on the temperature and
one other factor.

Time.

You can go outside in nothing but a pair of shorts
in extremely cold temperatures…
if you’re only going to be outside for a second or two.
But if you’re going to be outside longer, you dress heavier.


A typical coat you’d wear in winter:

(Cost $300-$600)

But I also have cold weather gear that
most don’t have, similar to this:

(Cost ~$1,300)

The first one will keep you warm
for most activities, and if layered
with a sweater will do for longer/colder
outdoor activities.

The second… will keep you warm for hours.
No matter how cold it gets.
Typically, I wear the former, saving the latter
for lengthy cold weather activities.

(Case in point. Wearing it while a group
of birthday party kids are sledding.
I laugh as they retreat, shivering, to the warmth
of the indoors, while I am perfectly warm.)

Okay, I’m dressed, but… how I’m dressed isn’t necessarily
the final state that I’m going to go out shopping.

A glance outside has told me that it’s
snowed (again) last night.
I can’t even leave the house
until I’ve shoveled the driveway.
Even a thin layer needs to be removed.
If you don’t, your vehicle will pack the snow down,
making it almost impossible to remove later.
Eventually, you’ll have 6”-12” (or higher) mounds of
impenetrable, packed snow that will make
driving an impossibility.

I don boots.
(If the snow isn’t too deep and/or
it’s not too cold, something like this:

(Cost $200-$300)

Or if it’s colder or the snow is deeper:

Equipped with a thick felt sole
to insulate your foot from the cold.
(Keeps those invisible stabby gnomes at bay.)

(Cost $150-$250. Warmer… but less stylish.)

I throw on coat, mitts, tuque.

(Never was a fan of scarves.)

(And yes… I have been dressed like that by my mom.)



Grabbing a shovel from the garage,
I take a deep breath.

More of a sob, really.


Not everyone shovels their snow.
There are those who own snowblowers.

These little beasties can run you over $1,000
and are an investment that you may only use
once or twice a year
(or, in a bad year, several times a week)
and the rest of the time,
take up a rather hefty amount of space.
Others hire services who come out and clean
your snow for you.
Similar to a housecleaning or lawncare service.
But, if you’re like me
(healthy enough, and cheap, and stupid)
you do it yourself.


There is an art to shoveling snow.
You don’t “dig”. You push.
But not in any ol’ way.
Again, there’s an art to shoveling.
Here is The Best, correct way to shovel
a driveway.

First, make a path down the center.

Then push the snow, one shovel-width at a time,
towards the edge of the driveway.
Depending on the amount of snow that fell,
you may have to throw the snow, at some point,
beyond the driveway edge.
Once you’ve pushed the snow to the edge,
you can’t just leave it there.
If you do, you’ll wind up with a mountain of snow
that you can’t throw the snow over.
That might happen anyway.
But best to delay it as long as possible.
It’s not exactly fun trying to throw snow
over a seven-foot-tall mountain.

Which is exactly what happened to me winter before last.
(We didn’t get much snow this last winter… yippee!!!)

So toss the snow as far as you can,
if you can, and try not to cry.
Your tears will just freeze to your face.


Okay, the driveway is now clear.
Time to go shopping.

But… who wants to walk around a grocery store
looking like you’ve been outfitted for a lunar landing?

Back into the house.

I may, in no particular order:

• Switch coats
• Switch boots or change into sneakers.
• Switch mitts for gloves.
• Remove tuque.

Okay. Start car.
If it will start.
The colder it is, the less likely the car will start.

CAA (Canadian Automobile Association. Related to AAA)
gets overwhelmed with calls on extremely cold days.
So much so that they prioritize people who aren’t home/sheltered.
Wait times can be several hours.
One Sunday, this past February, CAA rescued 1,200 people.
And they weren’t even bothering with people who were home.


Some people will start their car and let it run for a few minutes.
It was a necessity before, but now, with fuel-injection,
it’s more for comfort.
Nice to get into a warm car instead of a mobile freezer.

I have a garage for my car, so it warms up fairly quickly.

I’ll describe what happens when you don’t park in
a garage in a little bit.


Okay! Off to the store.

Unless of course it’s snowed a lot,
in which case, it doesn’t matter that you
shoveled the driveway… the street is impassable.
But assuming it’s just an average snowfall, off you go.
If it’s a blizzard or storm, the road
will be cleared tomorrow.
All that snow gets plowed to the sides
of residential streets, or hauled away
by an army of trucks that pile it into
massive snow hills.
(It's not unusual to see a flag planted
on top of them.
Although that's frowned
upon by the powers as it's a bit dangerous.)
If you absolutely need something…
I have donned a pair of snowshoes and
walked over. Excuse me... snowshoed over.
(I own snowshoes... but not everyone does.)


But let’s assume the roads are passable…

Don’t forget to test the brakes before you
get to that first set of lights or stop sign.
Depending on road conditions, you may find
yourself sliding right through that intersection,
so find out how slippery it is before it’s too late.
Brake on that residential street, first.
Then brake accordingly.
(i.e. braking several feet earlier than normal.)

Once at the store, try to park somewhere
that at least looks like you know where the lines are.
(They’re under the snow, so you can’t see them.
But there’s probably other cars already parked.
Pick a spot. Join in! It’s fun!)

After entering the store, you’re gonna want to shed.
Take off your gloves and tuque, unzip that coat.

Once shopping is done, zip up coat,
put on tuque and gloves.
Have fun pushing your
shopping cart through the snow.

T’ain’t easy. And if you’re not able-bodied…
It’s darn near impossible.
(The elderly, or frail, know to stay home
after a snowfall.)

Upon arrival at your car, load up the groceries.
But you can’t leave yet.
The car has been buried under snow while you shopped.
Of course, every vehicle in snow climates have snow brushes.
Grab that puppy and start sweeping.

You can’t just clean the windows, you have to brush
the entire car. If you don’t, you’ll either have snow
blowing off the hood into the windshield,
off the roof onto the rear window,
or obscuring the front or rear lights.
Or worse... blowing off your car
into someone else's car, possibly
causing an accident.

Okay. All set? Hold on… there’s someone
waving at you.

“Do you have jumper cables?”

But of course.
Remember how I told you that
cold = non-starting car?
If you’re lucky to find someone with jumper cables,
you can connect the two batteries together
and start your car that way.

Not many people have jumper cables, though.
But I always have some in the trunk.
And yes, I use them a few times every year.
Usually for others, but for myself on occasion too.


Car boosted; I now start the slippery drive
to my next destination.
Nope. No I don't.
I'm stuck in the snow.
Time to call a tow truck?
Nah.

You can get yourself out of most
snow-stuck-situations.
Simply put the car in drive and move
the car forward a fraction.
Quickly shift into reverse as the car is
settling back into the rut and move
it back a fraction.
Continue to rock the car back and forth
several times until you've built up
a bit of momentum.
Drive out.

Getting unstuck, like snow shoveling,
is an artform.

Okay! We're moving.
How about a movie?
(Remember going to see movies? <sigh>)
I drive over to the mall/theatre and
bustle as quickly as I can from car door
to building door.
No one really wants to be outside for long
unless you want to be outside.

Sometimes winter can be fun.
There's tobogganing, hockey, snowmobiling...
A favourite pastime is skating on the river.

(Yes, that one is my photo.
And yes that's in Winnipeg.)

Back to our current day, however.
We've just headed in to see a movie.

But wait! What about the groceries?
Not to worry. I bought ice cream and frozen fries
and frozen pizza and a couple TV dinners.
They’ll be fine in the car for… months.
You don’t have to worry about frozen goods thawing…
You have to worry about other goods freezing.
You learn to judge if that jug of milk is going to freeze
based on the temperature and the time allotted.
It's -20C/-4F... that gallon of milk is good for an hour.
Two? Possibly. Three?... You might come back to a
frozen milk brick.

It for sure isn’t going to spoil!


After the movie, you have the joy
of repeating the entire brushing of the car.
(You don't always have to brush. Only when it snows.)
Okay. Snow brushed off? Let’s go!

No… wait… not yet. My car’s cooled down too much.
My windows are covered in an impenetrable layer
of hard frost/ice.

All snow brushes have a window scraper at the
other end of the brush.
So now you can scrape all the frost off all the windows.

Okay. That chore is taken care of.

Now we can go!

No. You can’t.
I have to wait for the windows to defrost
on the inside now, from condensation.
You can prevent this by not breathing
and not having a warm body temperature.

I am confident that vampires don’t have
to worry about the inside of the car fogging up.

Hang on… Okay… I have a little area that I can see through.
Let’s go!
And… as soon as you do, because the front windshield
isn’t warm yet, the outside freezes over again,
and you can’t see!

Ha! I know how to solve that!

Squirters to the rescue!

Yes, spraying the windshield with
The windshield washers, will get rid
Of that ice lickety-split!

No… our washers don’t have water in them.
It would just freeze solid.
We have windshield washing anti-freeze.

(Notice it's good to -49C/-56F.
If it's colder than that, don't worry.
Your car won't work anyways.)

Okay! <Squirt! Squirt! Squirt!>

I can see!!!


Aaaaannnddd…
That’s a mistake you make only once.
You think you couldn’t see before?
The instant you stop spraying,
your entire front windshield freezes over!
And I mean instantly! Poof! Zero visibility!
(Note: This doesn't happen if the windshield
is warm. You rarely need to use the washers
when it's cold out.)


I think I’ll pull over here.
I’ll be a bit, have to wait for the car to warm up…


While you’re waiting, I’ll tell you what it’s like
to live in the real North in the next update.

(And have a lot more photos too. Promise.)

Bonus Chapter. Summer Days (Part I)​

 

[Steppesister]

Back to read later.

 

[Paulaparm]

And I've been complaining about a chilly, rainy spring here in Northeast PA. Yikes!

 

[pkondz]

And I've been complaining about a chilly, rainy spring here in Northeast PA. Yikes!

We just had our worst "winter" storm of the season...
a few weeks ago.

 

[buzzrelly]

We live in the Northeast so I have some idea of what it's like, although we don't seem to get as much snow as we used to (thankfully) but we've had some really awful, snowy winters. I'm surprised you haven't broken down to get a snowblower yet…don't you have a bad back? We got one a few years back and while Mike doesn't use it for every snowfall, it's certainly helpful for the big ones! Since he only uses it a few times a year, we're hoping it lasts until we move South (the dream!).

Your summer weather sounds perfect

 

[missjackiemcg]

Growing up and living in Chicago, I am no stranger to winter weather (though not always as cold as where you are!!) This was a fun read because it's not snowing right now....but I feel the all to familiar pain of knowing it'll be back before we know it!!

Here is The Best, correct way to shovel
a driveway.

First, make a path down the center.

Yes, most definitely!!!! That's exactly how I do it, too. Though this year we got so much snow that I ended up with a mountain on both sides that I could no longer throw the snow onto! I had to scoop and walk, scoop and walk, back and forth. Such a pain!!!

Of course, every vehicle in snow climates have snow brushes.
Grab that puppy and start sweeping.

I keep my snowbrush in my car year round, so I never get surprised by the late spring snow or earliest winter either!

Getting unstuck, like snow shoveling,
is an artform.

We live at a T shaped intersection, and people constantly get stuck trying to drive through, especially if they actually come to a complete stop at either stop sign. If we're out there shoveling, we are always out there helping people push out.

All snow brushes have a window scraper at the
other end of the brush.
So now you can scrape all the frost off all the windows.

I LOATHE the battle to scrape, defrost/defog, etc. my windshield for visibility in the winter!!!! I used to park my car in the garage, so this was a non-issue for me, at least in the morning. But, once we bought a new car, that one goes in the garage, and it's the one my husband drives, so poor me, outside scraping!

 

[pkondz]

We live in the Northeast so I have some idea of what it's like, although we don't seem to get as much snow as we used to (thankfully) but we've had some really awful, snowy winters. I'm surprised you haven't broken down to get a snowblower yet…don't you have a bad back? We got one a few years back and while Mike doesn't use it for every snowfall, it's certainly helpful for the big ones! Since he only uses it a few times a year, we're hoping it lasts until we move South (the dream!).

I knew going in that there
was going to be a fair amount
of readers who could relate all too well.

Oddly enough, shoveling doesn't bother my back...
Unless I do it wrong... which happens occasionally.
(Like an awkward twist, or something.)

Your summer weather sounds perfect

It is.

 

[franandaj]

Yay! For the snow update! It was quite enthralling. I never would have known any of that!

I will be back to comment as the staff of the Grand Californian will be throwing me out in less than 2 hours!

So many things and now many more questions! This from the girl who wakes up every morning to temperatures 55° and above!

 

[pkondz]

Growing up and living in Chicago, I am no stranger to winter weather

No you certainly wouldn't be!

(though not always as cold as where you are!!)

But sometimes colder, too.

This was a fun read because it's not snowing right now....but I feel the all to familiar pain of knowing it'll be back before we know it!!

Heh. Yeah, it's all fun and games...
When it's not snowing!!!!

Yes, most definitely!!!! That's exactly how I do it, too. Though this year we got so much snow that I ended up with a mountain on both sides that I could no longer throw the snow onto! I had to scoop and walk, scoop and walk, back and forth. Such a pain!!!

That was me last year.
Toss snow up as high as I can...
watch helplessly as it tumbles
back down the hill onto the driveway.
Cry.

I keep my snowbrush in my car year round, so I never get surprised by the late spring snow or earliest winter either!

I might take it out...
if I absolutely need every inch of
trunkspace in the summer...

But that's a very small "might".

We live at a T shaped intersection, and people constantly get stuck trying to drive through, especially if they actually come to a complete stop at either stop sign. If we're out there shoveling, we are always out there helping people push out.

We've moved, but we used to live
at a 4-way intersection.
I wasn't helping people get un-stuck...
But I was out checking to see if
everyone was okay after the accident(s).

I LOATHE the battle to scrape, defrost/defog, etc. my windshield for visibility in the winter!!!!

The worst.
Especially when I just want to go
home after work late at night.

I used to park my car in the garage, so this was a non-issue for me, at least in the morning. But, once we bought a new car, that one goes in the garage, and it's the one my husband drives, so poor me, outside scraping!

Time for you to claim the new car.

 

[pkondz]

Yay! For the snow update! It was quite enthralling. I never would have known any of that!

I was struggling with how to keep
it interesting for those whom this
is all old news, versus those to whom
this would all be new.

I will be back to comment as the staff of the Grand Californian will be throwing me out in less than 2 hours!

And here you weren't scheduled
to leave for another four days.

You really have to stop tossing
those stink bombs in the hallways!

So many things and now many more questions! This from the girl who wakes up every morning to temperatures 55° and above!

Well, I wake up to temps above 55 too!
Of course that's inside the house...

 

[cindianne320]

As someone born and raised in Northern MN, I loved your snow update. I now live closer to the Twin Cities, so still experience winter, and extreme cold, but there was just something about living Up North. (And it bugs me when my students say they are going "up north" and it's like an hour from here- just like me calling the Iron Range Up North probably makes you roll your eyes! LOL)

 

[QueenJen]

Thank you sir for this highly entertaining snow update as well as all the support I need to firmly tell my husband I never plan to live in a place with snowfall.

I'm with Alison - I would have never known all of that. I cannot wrap my head around not being able to just hop in my car and go anywhere without a care in the world. I mean....I do pause if there is even a slight drizzle (don't want to get the car dirty). Looking forward to learning more.

 

[pkondz]

As someone born and raised in Northern MN, I loved your snow update.

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

I now live closer to the Twin Cities, so still experience winter, and extreme cold,

I believe you.
Last time we were down "south" (Fargo, ND),
we got snowed in and had to stay an extra night.

but there was just something about living Up North. (And it bugs me when my students say they are going "up north" and it's like an hour from here- just like me calling the Iron Range Up North probably makes you roll your eyes! LOL)

Oh, I have not yet begun to talk about the North.

 

[pkondz]

Thank you sir for this highly entertaining snow update

Glad you liked it!

as well as all the support I need to firmly tell my husband I never plan to live in a place with snowfall.

And I would feel quite adrift,
if Christmas came and went
sans snow.

Then again...
I have been known to say
"I want it to snow Dec 1st,
and then completely melt Jan 1st."

I'm with Alison - I would have never known all of that.

Now you do.

But I'm kicking myself for not mentioning plugging in your (non-electric) car.

I cannot wrap my head around not being able to just hop in my car and go anywhere without a care in the world. I mean....I do pause if there is even a slight drizzle (don't want to get the car dirty).

Heh. If we did that, we'd not drive
for half the year.

Looking forward to learning more.

Coming up... soon-ish!

 

[franandaj]

Snow.





Ugh. The worst.

See and I associate that word with happy things:

Snow Cone = a tasty treat in the hot summer

Snow Peas = good in a Chinese stir fry

Snow White = a pretty lady who looks after little men

What's not to love?

Some of you
(and by some, I mean @franandaj)
have asked me to talk about
what it’s like to live in a cold climate.

yay! Everything you have told me in this chapter is just bonkers!

And no, we don’t all ski or skate
to work.

I didn't even know that was a thing! Well some people skateboard to work here.

(…however, that is me, (about 30 years ago)
and I did used to ski to work.
But that’s for the next update.)

So did you like at the top of the chair lift, ski down the hill to work and take the chairlift home?

Would it surprise you to learn that Hell is frozen?
Well, according to Dante, the center, or ninth circle, is.

It would not surprise me. If the center of the earth was all fire and brimstone it would give a whole new meaning to global warming.

With average temperatures in the high
20s Celsius (high 70s/low 80s Fahrenheit)
and plenty of sunshine

Sounds like Winter here!

I will never forget hockey practices when I was a kid.
Temperature just wasn’t something we worried about,
despite the hockey rink being outdoors.
But we sure noticed it when we’d go into the change rooms
and howl in pain from our (seemingly) frozen toes.
It does not feel like your toes/feet have gone to sleep.
It feels like ten thousand invisible gnomes are stabbing
you with tiny knives.

Repeatedly.

I do not think I have experienced this situation. My parents used to take me skiing as a kid, but I don't think it ever got that cold.

Nowadays, kids have it easy.
They cancel practice if it’s too cold,
or (worse!) they play at indoor rinks.

So what temperature is too cold for them to play outside?

I get dressed in the same types of clothes
you might find anywhere

Tank top and capris?

You can’t just walk out of the house,
hop in the car and go.

This is what I was kind of thinking....

A typical coat you’d wear in winter:

(Cost $300-$600)

I pretty sure it would never get that cold for a coat like that here.

But I also have cold weather gear that
most don’t have, similar to this:

(Cost ~$1,300)

I'm absolutely sure that would sit in my closet never getting used. Less often than my formal gown that I wore to the Masquerade Ball (once, and I've ha it for over 10 years.)

Case in point. Wearing it while a group
of birthday party kids are sledding.
I laugh as they retreat, shivering, to the warmth
of the indoors, while I am perfectly warm.

I suppose I remember not being tall enough to ski and my parents would take me to a place with hills and we would slide on those saucers for a while. Now I can't understand how anyone would want to be out in that kind of cold.

A glance outside has told me that it’s
snowed (again) last night.
I can’t even leave the house
until I’ve shoveled the driveway.
Even a thin layer needs to be removed.
If you don’t, your vehicle will pack the snow down,
making it almost impossible to remove later.

I'm glad you told me this because I'm lazy and wouldn’t worry about a thin layer. Then again I still can't wrap my head around the reality that it stays so cold for so long and it doesn't just melt a few days later when the sun comes back.

I don boots.
(If the snow isn’t too deep and/or
it’s not too cold, something like this:

(Cost $200-$300)

I should show you a picture of my "heavy duty" boots. I bought them when I was in Seattle for Thanksgiving and we woke up to a dusting of snow. I had only brought pump-like flats and fashionable boots. None of which were good for trapsing through a few inches of snow. My boots pale in comparison to yours.

Or if it’s colder or the snow is deeper:

Equipped with a thick felt sole
to insulate your foot from the cold.
(Keeps those invisible stabby gnomes at bay.)

(Cost $150-$250. Warmer… but less stylish.)

OK one thing I'm gleaning from your update is that while our taxes (in Sunny warm land) are higher than other places in my country, the people paying lower taxes make up for those taxes by having to spend exorbitant amounts of money on clothes to keep warm!

Others hire services who come out and clean
your snow for you.
Similar to a housecleaning or lawncare service.

Ding! Ding! Ding! This would be me! My gardener is my hero!

There is an art to shoveling snow.
You don’t “dig”. You push.
But not in any ol’ way.
Again, there’s an art to shoveling.
Here is The Best, correct way to shovel
a driveway.

I never would have guessed this.

First, make a path down the center.

That is a very tidy path! I would just have started at the top and kept moving the snow further down the driveway like a broom!

Then push the snow, one shovel-width at a time,
towards the edge of the driveway.

This makes sense with a memory that I have of my childhood when I lived in Boston.

Once you’ve pushed the snow to the edge,
you can’t just leave it there.
If you do, you’ll wind up with a mountain of snow
that you can’t throw the snow over.
That might happen anyway.
But best to delay it as long as possible.
It’s not exactly fun trying to throw snow
over a seven-foot-tall mountain.

Considering we moved to CA when I was five, no wonder I remember those snow piles on either side of car as being HUGE.

if you can, and try not to cry.
Your tears will just freeze to your face.

That would be, pai ful and unfortunate.

I may, in no particular order:

• Switch coats
• Switch boots or change into sneakers.
• Switch mitts for gloves.
• Remove tuque.

Yikes! I only like to get dressed once a day.

One Sunday, this past February, CAA rescued 1,200 people.
And they weren’t even bothering with people who were home.

Was that Nationwide or just in MB?

Some people will start their car and let it run for a few minutes.
It was a necessity before, but now, with fuel-injection,
it’s more for comfort.
Nice to get into a warm car instead of a mobile freezer.

I remember my mom doing that before we left for morning workout in Nor Cal. I had to be in the pool at 5:30AM.

Unless of course it’s snowed a lot,
in which case, it doesn’t matter that you
shoveled the driveway… the street is impassable

Ugh. Why bother? Just bulk buy at Costco and stay home.

If it’s a blizzard or storm, the road
will be cleared tomorrow.
All that snow gets plowed to the sides
of residential streets, or hauled away
by an army of trucks that pile it into
massive snow hills.

Well thank goodness for them! But how do they get to work if the streets are impassable? Or are they like Mark and they sleep in their offices/trucks when the word of a blizzard is coming?

It's not unusual to see a flag planted
on top of them.
Although that's frowned
upon by the powers as it's a bit dangerous.

Why is it dangerous? How big are these flags?

If you absolutely need something…
I have donned a pair of snowshoes and
walked over. Excuse me... snowshoed over.

How close is your market?

Don’t forget to test the brakes before you
get to that first set of lights or stop sign.
Depending on road conditions, you may find
yourself sliding right through that intersection,
so find out how slippery it is before it’s too late.

I have seen video of cars in the Midwest sliding into each other cause the roads are icy.

Once at the store, try to park somewhere
that at least looks like you know where the lines are.
(They’re under the snow, so you can’t see them.
But there’s probably other cars already parked.
Pick a spot. Join in! It’s fun!)

Perhaps this is when you are "that guy" who parks far away from everyone else so he doesn't get door dings.

Take off your gloves and tuque, unzip that coat.

Once shopping is done, zip up coat,
put on tuque and gloves.
Have fun pushing your
shopping cart through the snow.

T’ain’t easy. And if you’re not able-bodied…
It’s darn near impossible.

Then again maybe you do want to park closer to the store.....

You can’t just clean the windows, you have to brush
the entire car. If you don’t, you’ll either have snow
blowing off the hood into the windshield,
off the roof onto the rear window,
or obscuring the front or rear lights.
Or worse... blowing off your car
into someone else's car, possibly
causing an accident.

See now people in California don't know that. I remember driving in Northern California like on I5, cars would enter the highway coming from higher altitude places that may have had a few inches of snow. These folks still had snow on their trunks and the hoods of their cars.

Not many people have jumper cables,

We usually have a vehicle emergency kit in our cars and they have jumper cables!

You can get yourself out of most
snow-stuck-situations.
Simply put the car in drive and move
the car forward a fraction.
Quickly shift into reverse as the car is
settling back into the rut and move
it back a fraction.
Continue to rock the car back and forth
several times until you've built up
a bit of momentum.
Drive out.

Interesting. I hope I don't have to use this knowledge.

But wait! What about the groceries?
Not to worry. I bought ice cream and frozen fries
and frozen pizza and a couple TV dinners.
They’ll be fine in the car for… months

I learned about this when we visited Jackson Hole Wyoming. We brought a case of beer and rather than putting it in the fridge, the guys just put it on the porch.

All snow brushes have a window scraper at the
other end of the brush.
So now you can scrape all the frost off all the windows.

We had just a scraper for those mornings in Nor Cal when I had to be in the pool by 5:30AM.

I have to wait for the windows to defrost
on the inside now, from condensation.
You can prevent this by not breathing
and not having a warm body temperature.

It's always confusing for us when we drive at night and it's cold. We can't figure out which way to turn the defrost, sometimes we have to open the windows to get rid of the fog.

I think I’ll pull over here.
I’ll be a bit, have to wait for the car to warm up…

OK. I'll wait.

 

[franandaj]

I'm with Alison - I would have never known all of that. I cannot wrap my head around not being able to just hop in my car and go anywhere without a care in the world. I mean....I do pause if there is even a slight drizzle

Right? And you live in a Canyon right?

If there's rain I go in the dining room and look out at the pool to see how heavy it's raining and then look at the radar to decide when I want to leave the house!

 

[pkondz]

See and I associate that word with happy things:

Snow Cone = a tasty treat in the hot summer

Snow Peas = good in a Chinese stir fry

Snow White = a pretty lady who looks after little men

What's not to love?

You forgot...
Snow globes
Snow man (Olaf of course)

I'll stop before this snowballs.

yay! Everything you have told me in this chapter is just bonkers!

Sometimes (often) I think I'm bonkers
for living here!

I didn't even know that was a thing! Well some people skateboard to work here.

Oh, yes. Not common, but...
it's possible in some places.

So did you like at the top of the chair lift, ski down the hill to work and take the chairlift home?

I'll fill you in on the next update.
That was farther North.

It would not surprise me. If the center of the earth was all fire and brimstone it would give a whole new meaning to global warming.

That's something I didn't mention.
(As a joke), Canadians are apt to say
"Bring on Global Warming!"

Sounds like Winter here!

I do not think I have experienced this situation. My parents used to take me skiing as a kid, but I don't think it ever got that cold.

Come on up for a visit... In January.
I guarantee you won't forget it.

So what temperature is too cold for them to play outside?

I'm not sure with hockey.
I believe with the schools,
they don't let them out (anymore)
if it gets below -30C/-22F.

Tank top and capris?

I rock a tank top and capris.

I pretty sure it would never get that cold for a coat like that here.

I wouldn't be surprised.
Then again, when we watched
the fireworks, I recall Fran being
pretty bundled up.

I'm absolutely sure that would sit in my closet never getting used

I'm absolutely sure of it too.
I don't wear it very often, myself.

Less often than my formal gown that I wore to the Masquerade Ball (once, and I've ha it for over 10 years.)

Photo???
(Or do you mean the masquerade ball
you went to a couple years ago?)

I suppose I remember not being tall enough to ski and my parents would take me to a place with hills and we would slide on those saucers for a while. Now I can't understand how anyone would want to be out in that kind of cold.

Because it's fun, Alison.

I'm glad you told me this because I'm lazy and wouldn’t worry about a thin layer. Then again I still can't wrap my head around the reality that it stays so cold for so long and it doesn't just melt a few days later when the sun comes back.

"a few days"...

Try... months.

I should show you a picture of my "heavy duty" boots. I bought them when I was in Seattle for Thanksgiving and we woke up to a dusting of snow. I had only brought pump-like flats and fashionable boots. None of which were good for trapsing through a few inches of snow. My boots pale in comparison to yours.

Alright. Lemme see 'em.

I wish I could've found a photo
of me that DW took years ago.
I was dressed for cold weather
and held a sign with the temperature
written on it.
-45C/-50F

OK one thing I'm gleaning from your update is that while our taxes (in Sunny warm land) are higher than other places in my country, the people paying lower taxes make up for those taxes by having to spend exorbitant amounts of money on clothes to keep warm!

Well... you typically don't buy a new coat or boots every year... but yes it can add up.

Ding! Ding! Ding! This would be me! My gardener is my hero!

See???

I never would have guessed this.

And even if you live here...
you may not know the trick.

That is a very tidy path! I would just have started at the top and kept moving the snow further down the driveway like a broom!

In actuality...
You'd quickly stop doing that...
because you couldn't.
You couldn't move that much snow.

Considering we moved to CA when I was five, no wonder I remember those snow piles on either side of car as being HUGE.

I remember the snow being much
higher when I was young too.

Although, sometimes it was.

That would be, pai ful and unfortunate.

That doesn't really happen.
Well, not like that anyways.
It gets in your eyelashes
and this happens:

Yikes! I only like to get dressed once a day.

Think of it as... going out in the rain.
You'll change your shoes and wear
a rainjacket.

Was that Nationwide or just in MB?

Just in MB... but probably 90% of that
was in Winnipeg.

I remember my mom doing that before we left for morning workout in Nor Cal. I had to be in the pool at 5:30AM.

There ya go.

Ugh. Why bother? Just bulk buy at Costco and stay home.

Perishables... perish.

Well thank goodness for them! But how do they get to work if the streets are impassable? Or are they like Mark and they sleep in their offices/trucks when the word of a blizzard is coming?

Often... they stay home.
It's usually just for a day.
If you live outside the city,
it might be an additional day... or not.

Why is it dangerous? How big are these flags?

It's not the flag,
it's the risk of avalanche
and getting buried.
Or being hit by a tractor
or dumped on by a truck.

I looked at one today
(drive by one on the way to work)
and it's around... a five story building??

How close is your market?

The time I snowshoed, it wasn't far.
About 1/2 mile.

I have seen video of cars in the Midwest sliding into each other cause the roads are icy.

We don't get as much of that
as places farther south.
Generally it's too cold.
But we do get that at times.

Perhaps this is when you are "that guy" who parks far away from everyone else so he doesn't get door dings.

Well, no. Because...

Then again maybe you do want to park closer to the store.....

...because that. Also... it's cold.
You don't want to park any farther
than you absolutely have to.

See now people in California don't know that. I remember driving in Northern California like on I5, cars would enter the highway coming from higher altitude places that may have had a few inches of snow. These folks still had snow on their trunks and the hoods of their cars.

Now you know.

We usually have a vehicle emergency kit in our cars and they have jumper cables!

I'm betting you're one of the few?

Interesting. I hope I don't have to use this knowledge.

In CA?
I'm thinking you're pretty safe.

I learned about this when we visited Jackson Hole Wyoming. We brought a case of beer and rather than putting it in the fridge, the guys just put it on the porch.

Except in winter, here,
they'd freeze solid.
And probably explode.

We had just a scraper for those mornings in Nor Cal when I had to be in the pool by 5:30AM.

We have those too.
Plus = wider scraping surface.
Minus = one more thing to carry/use.

I've done both and prefer to have
just the one tool.

It's always confusing for us when we drive at night and it's cold. We can't figure out which way to turn the defrost, sometimes we have to open the windows to get rid of the fog.

Turn it on full defrost with the heat on.
Give it a few minutes if needed.
Then you don't need to open the windows.