Can you Critique this Birthday Party Invitation?

[devotedchristian]

Before I mail them out?

Basic Information: The party is for DS who will be 3 next month at a Local "Indoor Theme Park" with *actual* rides for the kids (Toddlers AND Teens) it's really cool.

We chose to have it *After* the naps: 4pm-6pm.

Elizabeth Moore,

As our honored guest, you will:
Enjoy Unlimited Playtime at the Maxx Maze (Indoor Playground, Socks Required)
Choose 5 rides of your choice anywhere in the “Park”
Be given 1 Game Card to use anywhere in the “Park”
Be served Pizza, Cake, Ice Cream and Unlimited Sodas

A light dinner will also be served for the Parents. We look forward to seeing you there!

What do you think?

 

[Christine]

Sounds perfect. Can I come?

 

[Maleficent13]

Me, me! I want to come too!

Sounds good!

 

[Princess4Eeyore]

What a great invitation - not mention the FUN party!!!! Very Cool!

 

[devotedchristian]

Thank you! I'm a nervous wreck!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Sounds great--spells everything out and makes it clear what food will be served. Sometimes people have parties during that time frame (or around lunch) and don't mention the food. If I assume that food isn't served and feed my kids, then there is a meal. If I assume that there is a meal and don't feed the kids, then there isn't a meal and they are complaining that they are hungry after running around a while. Or I ask and put the parent on the spot if there isn't food. Better to spell it out.

 

[XYSRUS]

Awh! I thought this was going to be one of those invitations that is so socially inappropriate it would have everyone up in arms! Yours sounds very inviting and fun!

 

[Sandy V.]

It sounds great.

My only question is . . . have you thought about the "sibling issue" (brothers/sisters hanging around for the party) and who's paying for that? It sounds like so much fun that you may have a bunch of "extras". If you're NOT paying for them, you may want to include a note in your invitation regarding that. Otherwise, your final bill may end up being ENORMOUS. Just a thought.

Have fun!!

 

[devotedchristian]

My only question is . . . have you thought about the "sibling issue" (brothers/sisters hanging around for the party) and who's paying for that? It sounds like so much fun that you may have a bunch of "extras". If you're NOT paying for them, you may want to include a note in your invitation regarding that. Otherwise, your final bill may end up being ENORMOUS. Just a thought.

Have fun!!

Exactly. I automatically included the siblings. And I am "addressing" the invite to Both or All The Siblings.

Like in the case of my Brother In Law who has 3 kids, I am addressing all 3 of them.

 

[poohandwendy]

Sounds like fun, the only thing I would mention (if critiquing is what you are asking for) is that "A light dinner will also be served for the Parents" should be "A light dinner will also be served for your Parents.' to be consistent with the way you are wording the rest of it.

Hope the kids have a great time!

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Very clear and concise!!! I want to come!!!

 

[disykat]

I have a question about supervision. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm guessing it's a big place and you're expecting parents to stay with their kids? Although you said that food was provided for the parents, I'd make a point of saying "bring your parents". I know it seems doubtful that a parent would drop a 3 year old at a place like this, but I wouldn't discount the possibility.