Budgeting thoughts/advice for new SAHM!!

[mookie]

Hi All,

Even though I've mostly been a lurker, these boards have always been so helpful to many. I thought I'd ask for some advice....

I just put in my resignation at my job on Monday. I'll be a full time stay at home mom at the end of August! Now, I know it's going to be a big change, and the one that scares me the most is financially. We can make it work, but it's going to be tight. How do you other SAHM's budget? I've seen advice on utility bills and groceries...but I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that losing an income isn't going to be as big of a deal as we think it will be.

It looks like from doing our budget, after all bills are paid, (mortgage, utilities, etc.) we will have about 350-400 every two weeks left over for spending on gas, groceries and other misc. Any thoughts?

Thanks for the help, and any suggestions!

 

[amyup]

I take out cash for our allowance and food. I use cash because its easier and more "real" to me than using the debit card, it helps me on my out of control spending. We each get a monthly allowance which allows us to buy whatever we want with no questions asked. It is a hard adjustment but once you get used to living on one income it is relatively painless! Good Luck!

 

[luvthatdisney]

Check out www.daveramsey.com. Thank goodness we have found him. I am not sure what kind of debt you might have, but if you have any he is your man! His books are great - especially The Total Money Makeover. If you are going from 2 incomes to 1 - you might need the makeover!!

Thanks to Dave we are on baby step 2 - after our WDW trip - we are jumping on the snowball

 

[Desnik]

Well congrats to you for being able to stay at home!!! I have been a SAHM for about 8 years now. I have a 7yo DD and a 2yo DS. While my husband makes a great salary, I like to do my part in keeping the bills down. What I have learned is while I still have a child in diapers, it is a great savings for us to belong to Sam's Club. I always buy my diapers there. Also all our sodas, drink boxes, etc.. You really save. Another thing I do for grocery shopping is I'll do my shopping at 3 different places. Getting the most for my money at each store. For example, sam's for the diapers and other stuff I mentioned, Target for toiletries, and Shop Rite for cold items. I'm not a coupon person, I try but I almost always forget them!! You could save alot more by using coupons.

Don't forget you'll be saving money on all the stuff you needed for your job. Like commuting, or gas, or lunch out, work clothes.

Try not to eat out as often.

I'm sure you'll get alot more advice here by some of the folks who are much better than me at cutting costs. I feel I do a great job for my family without going to any drastic measures, like no satelite or internet!! We couldn't live without them!!!LOL
Good luck!

 

[mookie]

Check out www.daveramsey.com. Thank goodness we have found him. I am not sure what kind of debt you might have, but if you have any he is your man! His books are great - especially The Total Money Makeover. If you are going from 2 incomes to 1 - you might need the makeover!!

Thanks to Dave we are on baby step 2 - after our WDW trip - we are jumping on the snowball

Just checked that out - thanks! I think we are on the right track financially. DH and I had thought about me staying home a few years ago, but thought it would be best to get some things in order first. We already have life insurance - our 401k's are contributed to match DH employer's contributions, we are saving for college, and have the 1,000 in emergency savings. i'm feeling a little bit better.

The one thing I know DH is worried about is our cars. They are paid off, but he's worried about what happens when they break down (emergency fund) or they need replacing. My thoughts are this: Both cars are 2002. Granted, mine has over 95,000 miles on it (I drove a lot for my job!) they should last us awhile, and we just run them into the ground before we buy new ones.

Am I looking at this with rose-colored glasses, or am I crazy? We should be able to do this, right?

I do think I'm going to check out the next steps for Dave Ramsey though, just to see how we can improve. Right now, I think I'm just making sure that staying home on 350-400 a paycheck after all bills are paid is doable.

 

[kandeebunny]

Not a SAHM but a broke college student checking in here! Your local library could be a great resource for "date" nights ours has movies we can check out with the library card and they also (you have to ask) have free passes to our local art museum and discounted tickets to other places. Coupons are a lifesaver on toiletries especially. Also shop around for your utilities. When we switched from dial up to comcast we got 6 months free of internet and a discount on our phone and cable. Shop around every 6-12mos and make sure you still have the best deal going.

 

[stahshee]

well for me this is my budget and I really hate it
I get 75 for the week just for spending money for me and my 4 girls.
my gas has been filled up by dh on Sat
The food has been bought for the week.
So I usually just have 75 dollars for spending..... now out of that I have been buying school supplies each week and school shoes each week and clothes. I do go to dennys on tue night for the kids eat free how ever I am stoping that next week. Mind you I am a SAHM with an income I ama certified day care provider and I make just some fun money( I am not filled to my limit with kids) It is hard but we live I think it works so well for us because of the area we live in we can afford to live on 1 income

 

[dvcgirl]

Just checked that out - thanks! I think we are on the right track financially. DH and I had thought about me staying home a few years ago, but thought it would be best to get some things in order first. We already have life insurance - our 401k's are contributed to match DH employer's contributions, we are saving for college, and have the 1,000 in emergency savings. i'm feeling a little bit better.

The one thing I know DH is worried about is our cars. They are paid off, but he's worried about what happens when they break down (emergency fund) or they need replacing. My thoughts are this: Both cars are 2002. Granted, mine has over 95,000 miles on it (I drove a lot for my job!) they should last us awhile, and we just run them into the ground before we buy new ones.

Am I looking at this with rose-colored glasses, or am I crazy? We should be able to do this, right?

I do think I'm going to check out the next steps for Dave Ramsey though, just to see how we can improve. Right now, I think I'm just making sure that staying home on 350-400 a paycheck after all bills are paid is doable.

Well, I'm glad to hear that you have your savings goals in mind, cars paid off and a small emergency fund. Is this a short-term move for you? Is your child very young and so you decided to stay home until she starts school? I only ask because $700-800 for groceries, gas and "misc" doesn't seem like enough, even for a family of 3. The $1000 emergency fun could be depleted with one minor issue with the car or house. Then what? Is there any way that you could bring in additional funds while being at home? It's just that there are lots and lots of things that could fit into the "misc" category. Clothing, items for maintenance on the house, not to mention an occasional meal out, trip to the movies or a vacation. My husband and I are only two people and I spend $150 a week on "groceries" when you factor in toiletries and pet food. Does your husband commute? If so, that's probably $100 or so in gas. That leaves about $25 a week for everything else. I don't see how it's possible.....at least I know that we couldn't do it.

 

[mookie]

I'm not sure if the move will be part time or full. I'd like to stay home until all of our kids (once we're done having all of them!) are in school. Then, I'll probably take a part-time job during the day. Once thing I forgot to add is that DH gets commission checks every 3 months, and I didn't factor those in to the equation - I was trying to be conservative. Meals out are going to be limited until we see how we are doing on one income, and vacations will limited as well. Some good points to keep in mind about the gas for DH commute, though....

Well, I'm glad to hear that you have your savings goals in mind, cars paid off and a small emergency fund. Is this a short-term move for you? Is your child very young and so you decided to stay home until she starts school? I only ask because $700-800 for groceries, gas and "misc" doesn't seem like enough, even for a family of 3. The $1000 emergency fun could be depleted with one minor issue with the car or house. Then what? Is there any way that you could bring in additional funds while being at home? It's just that there are lots and lots of things that could fit into the "misc" category. Clothing, items for maintenance on the house, not to mention an occasional meal out, trip to the movies or a vacation. My husband and I are only two people and I spend $150 a week on "groceries" when you factor in toiletries and pet food. Does your husband commute? If so, that's probably $100 or so in gas. That leaves about $25 a week for everything else. I don't see how it's possible.....at least I know that we couldn't do it.

 

[lbgraves]

Check out the thread about the grocery game. That will help you get started on saving money at the grocery store.

 

[Our 2 Princesses]

Just remember that you can be first in line for some awesome clearances. The majority of people will be at work. I have been a SAHM for almost 10 years now. (Wow!! Has it flown!!!) One thing that has really helped me alot was to buy my girls' clothes ahead when they are 75% off or so. That way when they grow I can just got to my basement "store."

 

[mickeyluv'r]

Congrats! It is tough to budget, but it can be done. With a stay at home parent, you'll get an extra credit on your taxes. You might want to re-configure your deductions!

You'll save on clothes, shoes, nylons(?), dry-cleaning(?). So long as you can avoid frequent trips to the mall - see below.

I suggest using a credit card to pay bills, that way you only have to ask for money once or maybe twice a month. So long as you pay it off each month!

You will now have time to clip coupons, mow the lawn, garden your own lawn, take care of minor household repairs, and other little jobs that working people often hire someone else to do (also some of the jobs that your spouse used to do)...every penny you save is money in your pocket.

Find something (inexpensive) to look forward to each day. Find a way to get out: join the YMCA, meet other moms, go to the pool or the playground, get a library card - there are lots of inexpensive activities out there that will help keep you from going stir-crazy. Matinees cost less.

Instead of using one grocery store, I now spread my shopping among several stores (we have like at least ten stores withing five miles of our house). I don't go crazy reading flyers, but certain stores consistantly have better deals on certain items. For example, one store charges around $8/lb for cold cuts, while the others charge around $5/lb, so I try to buy things that way. I now go twice a week - dividing it between several different stores, depending on what I need.

WE used to eat out a lot, so we had to cut most of that out...to make up for it, I cook better. It's something to look forward to, it costs less than buying premade, and we feel better. Kids/men may also enjoy being a part of the process.
When we do dine out, we eat at less expensive places. We are lucky in that a lot of great ethnic restaurants have sprung up in our area recently that are quite inexpensive and quite good. Also we now have many more restaurants that are 'quick service' - better than fast food, but inexpensive and kid friendly. Instead of eating dinner out on the weekends, we eat out for lunch. Instead of having cocktails, well...I hardly drink any more....but whenI do, I have a beer at home. At restaurants, we mostly drink water, or split one beverage. We split meals. We get take out (no tips), and eat it at a park. We eat dessert at home.

One thing I have spent money on is decorations for the house. I get really sick of seeing the same thing all the time, and kids love seeing holiday decorations. Plus it gives you a way to teach yur kids about the holidays. I also get flowers to brighten the house in winter (carnations last a long time). Often, you can find great stuff at the dollar store, on discount racks, and sometimes you can make your own (just beware of craft stores...It's almost impossible to leave Michaels with out spending $50!)

 

[PaulaSue]

Thanks for the link.

I have been a SAHM since before my first was born and it is hard at times but well worth it, IMO.

 

[crisi]

Congrats, I work outside the home, but have some SAHM friends and hope you won't mind my advice.

Some of my friends did their math on how much they'd save on things like drycleaning and nylons and gas - and daycare! But they didn't add what they were going to spend. If your kids have been in daycare, they've probably had lunch included in the fees, plenty of access to playdoh and fingerpaints and paper. Now you'll need to pick up the slack - some of my friends have been shocked at how much staying at home has added to their grocery bills and Target shopping. It can get worse if you start registering your kids for Gymboree and Mommy and Me and toddler tumbling to fill days or meeting your girlfriends and their kids at McDonald's Playland to give them a chance to run off steam. One of my girlfriends planned on saving a lot in gas money from not commuting, only to put more miles on her car each week in hauling the kids around and running the errands that she used to run "on the way to work." Minnesota has a lot of ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education) programs that operating on a sliding fee - which are worth checking out if your state offers something similar.

 

[lizziepooh]

It sounds tight to me. You will probably have higher utility bills (heat, lights, etc) once you are home all day if you are used to turning them down while you were working.

In the last week, we have had our TV hit by lightning(haven't replaced it yet), car windshield cracked ($250 deductible) and another $450 in car repairs. Your $1000 cushion can be wiped out in a hurry.

We also find that gift giving adds to the misc expenses faster than you think, even tho we don't spend a lot per gift. There are always graduations, baby showers, wedding showers, wedding gifts, birthdays, Christmas etc. We have a large extended family and get invited to everything. It adds up fast.

Anyway, I hope it all works out for you. Being with your kids is priceless. They grow up so fast.

 

[littlestar]

Check out the Tightwad Gazette (she has I, II, and III, and a combination of all three) from the library and take notes. Amy Dacyczen (the author) was the best at knowing how to budget. She takes you into the nuts and bolts of how to really do it. She had a newsletter back in the 90's that I subscribed to and it was awesome.

Also another book that I liked was Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin.

Those two books I mentioned above taught me so much. I still use the Tightwad Gazette's all-purpose cleaner recipe. Way cheaper than store-bought kitchen/bathroom cleaners and it works great.

I checked out Dave Ramsey's book from the library, but I think the others I mentioned are better for teaching you how to actually cut back and make it work on a day to day basis.

 

[mom2alix]

When I quit working to stay home with DD, our income dropped 60%, so it was a real lifestyle change. My first piece of advice in avoid eating out whenever possible. It's unreal how much that can throw off your budget before you even realize it.

The library is a fantastic resource. Whenever I see a book I'd really like to buy, I just go home and reserve it on the library's website. I may not get it right away, but I usually have more than enough reading material!

When it comes to clothing, use eBay. DD had a TON of clothes since she was the first grandchild (lots of gifts). Every season I go through the clothing she has outgrown from the previous year and list them on eBay. I then use the money in my PayPal account from my sales to finance the purchase of her new outfits for the season. This summer, the stuff I sold actually paid for summer wardrobes for DD AND her new little brother!

This has also worked for DH. He saw a Ralph Lauren dress shirt at the mall that he wanted last weekend, but it was $85. I convinced him to try it on so we'd be sure on the size and let me try eBay. I found the same shirt on eBay NWT and only paid $22 including the shipping!

I also check out garage sales and our local Goodwill. I sometimes have to dig through a lot of junk, but I've found Ralph Lauren overall shorts for DD with the tags still on them for $3 amd just got DS and new pair of Gymboree courderoy overalls for $2.99.

Garage sales are also wonderful for toys. Pretty much all the back yard toys my kids have came from garage sales. The slide, Little Tykes play house, sand box etc. Why pay full price when they're just going to sit out in the sun and fade anyway?

Good luck!

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I became a sahm 6 years ago when I was pregnant for my third child. I have to say that now I have more time to save money. DH only makes $5000.00 more a year than our combined incomes 6 years ago, but we are much more financially sound now, even after having two more children. We eat healthier meals, homecooked instead of frozen foods. I have time to clip coupons, shop sales and make a grocery list, when I was working I had one evening to go to the store and no plan at all. I have more time to make a budget and shop around for the lowest prices. I look around for free activities to do with the kids, too. The only problem I have is that I do get a little stir crazy as someone else mentioned. I don't get out enough, especially when DH is deployed, but I started finding hobbies I could do in the eveing after my kids go to bed (a SET bedtime is very important in my house!) like reading and scrapbooking.

I have really enjoyed staying home with my kids. I am considering going back to work part time in the next two years because I will only have one child left at home, but we'll see. I think if you have the chance to do it you definitely should, there are expenses involved, but there are also alot of ways to cut back, too.

 

[WeLoveThePoly]

I'm not a SAHM but if I were and we only had $700-$800/month left over after paying bills and only had $1,000 in emergency funds I'd be nervous. You mentioned your DH's quarterly commissions so maybe those are substantial enough that you could add them to your emergency fund?

I can understand your DH's concern about your cars. You just don't know what's going to happen. In December '04 I made the last payment on my car - now both my car and DH's car were paid off! Yeah! We were going to keep those cars until they died. Well, DH's car decided to die in February! So much for no more car payments!

My mom had a saying on her refrigerator - "Life is what happens while you're making other plans". How true!

Best wishes!
Debbie

 

[mookie]

Thanks all soo much for your replies, they have all been very helpful. As it turns out, my boss wasn't so sure that he wanted me to leave, so he offered me part time work at night so I could stay home with dd during the day and then just do a few things for work at night after she goes to bed.

It's definitely the best of both worlds! Thanks again so much for your replies, I really enjoyed some of the creative ways of saving money that people suggested!

Have a Disney Day!