Bring your own meat cookout party? Tacky?

[lillygator]

yes, I do think it's a little tacky. If I am having a party I serve what we can afford. If you want to have others bring something suggest a side dish.

 

[TenThousandVolts]

Not tacky! It is nice of you to provide the setting, drinks, munchies... I have been to BYOM parties before- I didn't think twice about it being tacky or not- I just thought: Great, a party!

Whenever I have a big crowd I usually grill a huge mess of chicken drumsticks- they are really cheap and good, and you don't have to worry about rolls & condiments- heck you don't even need forks.

 

[englishteacha]

We tried the BYO Meat thing for some family functions and it failed miserably. Everyone was trying to grill, some people's hamburgers fell apart, others burned...it was a fiasco. Now my parents buy all the burgers and dogs, that way all the sizes are consistent and you can just start grilling. Everyone else brings sides, munchies, desserts, etc. I'd either get the hot dogs and burgers or do a pot luck. Have everyone bring something to share, run some extension cords so those who bring a crock pot can plug it in, and have some coolers and ice for things that should be kept cool till it's time to eat. Maybe it's a regional thing, or just my huge family, but all our parties are BYO something!

 

[snomofinn]

Ummmm.....I wouldnt got if I had to bring my own meat. Sorry...I've never had a party were I asked anyone to bring anything. If they volunteered that's one thing. Maybe word it like your having a pot luck, and you'll supply the meat and drinks, and everyone is invited to bring a dish to share?? I think that might be more accepting. Good luck!

 

[Luv2Scrap]

I don't think it's tacky, but I can see where it can get tricky, getting all that meat on the grill when everyone wants their meat cooked all at once.

I too was raised in a BYO family, but usually the host provides the meat and everyone brings a side or a dessert. Our family has also done the "we'll provide hot dogs and hamburgers, but feel free to bring something else if you want" method. both ways work good for us.

 

[disykat]

I would provide the main dish to a party where you are actually sending invitations to people. I have no problem with "potluck" where you bring a dish to share - sort of a "no host" party- or a "let's meet at the park and picnic" kind of thing. However, inviting people to a party and asking them to bring their own food seems weird.

That said, when I was single I went to lots of BYOM parties - but they were very casual, not a party. The people with the grill would just say "I'm firing up the grill, want to come over". To me, BYOM just says "impromptu".

 

[shortbun]

I'd provide the meat and ask for people to bring the other stuff.
Or-you could just say, "we're firing up the grill so bring what you want to throw on it!"

 

[stczt]

I have been to several byom bbq's this year. I love them. I alwyas have to bring my own anyways since I am usually the only one who does'nt eat meat.

 

[Lovemydog]

That is funny because that is what got me started thinking in the first place....I am the one who does not eat meat! So my idea of cookout food is veggie burgers, dogs, grilled veggies, etc. but I know most people want some meat! That is why I hit on the idea of having a drop-in open house (realizing on a Wednesday night lots of people are running back & forth to soccer, baseball etc. )with drinks & munchies and saying we'll have the grill fired up if you'd like to throw something on for your family."
Thanks for all the suggestions/opionions!

 

[C.Ann]

For the big Ring of Fire bash up here every year, the hosting family provides hot dogs, buns, condiments, soft drinks, and all paper goods.. Everyone else brings side dishes, desserts, chips, and whatever else they might like..

There have been as many as 100 people in attendance at this event and it wouldn't be fair to expect one family to provide everything - regardless of whether they can afford it or not..

I would offer exactly what I've stated above and request side dishes to share.. When dealing with such a large crowd I don't think it's tacky at all - it's logical..

 

[gillenkl]

I've never been to a bbq where we were asked to bring meat - usually the host provides everything - and guests would offer to bring sides. So in my crowd that would be tacky.

 

[mtblujeans]

We wouldn't mind bringing our own food to grill and we would probably also bring chips or a salad and some beer and wine coolers without blinking an eye! We enjoy our friends' company but we don't like to impose on them....

 

[formernyer]

I do NOT think it's tacky; however, I personally wouldn't do it. I would indicate that I would be providing hamburgers, hotdogs, and soft drinks. I'd ask that others bring a side dish or dessert. If funds were tight, I'd also ask that they bring their own alcohol.

 

[kuusimo]

This is the only way we can get together with DH's family. Everyone brings their own meat and a side dish or dessert. We have our own reasons though after being in some of my in-laws houses... We don't eat food that has been cooked there so we assign them chips or drinks so we know it comes straight from the store.

This has to be regional though or the way you grew up- I don't feel it is tacky to ask people to bring things. That is the way I grew up with my family though- always asked "What can I bring?"

 

[sarahlovesmickey]

We have been to a couple of BYOM parties and we were fine with it, as we really enjoy attending BBQs and hanging out with our friends. But, I have to agree with the majority of the posts here by saying that I would probably provide hotdogs and hamburgers and have people bring side dishes, unless you are going to have a couple of grills going. At the BYOM parties that we went to, there were a few grills going and it worked out okay, but if you only have 1 grill going, it could be a bit nightmarish. Really, BBQs aren't about what people are bringing, it is about being surrounded by friends and having a good time. Nothing tacky about that!! Good luck!!

 

[momof296&02]

I would never host a party & ask anyone to bring anything. Our friends always offer up appetizers or desserts & they bring that & usually beer/wine. I do the same when going to someone's home. I would say it's TACKY with a capital T to ask people to bring meat.

 

[snowy76]

I think the BYOM thing depends a lot on whose idea it was to get together. If only one person or family is inviting a bunch of people over, then I think they are considered the hosts, and should provide meat and drinks. They can ask everyone to bring a side dish to pass (I never go to a party without something in my hands anyway).

But... if it's more like a bunch of neighbors that collectively decide it would be nice to get the folks on the block together - I think BYOM is okay. Our cul de sac has a "block party" every year - one of the neighbors offers up his backyard and pool, the rest of us bring whatever meat we want (we cook it ourselves too - between a bunch of us we have 4 or 5 small grills). We also invite some of the folks who live on the next street over (that share our backyards and whatnot). Everyone also brings a side dish or dessert and it's very informal; the whole idea is for everyone to relax, so if one person was doing all the hosting and cooking, then that couldn't happen, kwim?

 

[Zoemakes5]

Most recently, it seems that most of the bbq's we've been to have been bring your own meat. Too many people wanting too many different kinds of meat. The host tends to have a few extra hot dogs or hamburgers on hand, but otherwise, it's bring your own. However, I haven't had that done with a party of your size. That might be a bit tricky. This is more like a few friends getting together.
While I don't think it's tacky, I'd either (a) just cover hot dogs and hamburgers and have people bring salads, etc, or (b) do tacos...I've found that all the fixings for tacos and nachos are significantly less expensive (and tend to get eaten better) than traditional bbq and salads. No one has to be on top of the grill all night and you can do so much of the prep before hand. Plus, you don't get 10 potato salad's that way!
We did do an end of year party for the kids in DS1's class last year. I decided I'd keep it very simple, and I did. We did Hawaiian Punch, water, hot dogs, chips and watermellon. The kids seemed to have a great time, and I had about 30 of them throughout the night. I didn't grill, though, I did the dogs in the crock.

 

[minnie mouse]

I really don't think it is tacky to ask people to bring their own meat. Heck I would be happy to be invited. But I do agree with other posters, I think having too many people with different kinds of meat on one grill might not work too well.

 

[teresajoy]

Usually, I would just sit back and bit my tongue, but this time I'm going to stick my neck out and actually state my opinion on this one.

People (and I'm not talking about anyone specific here) seem to have such a horrible sense of entitlement nowadays. I can't believe people would actually not go and be with their friends if they were asked to bring meat. Why can't we just all view this for what it is? A chance to have fun with friends. Just because someone wants to get together with their friends, they shouldn't be expected to have to pay for it. I think potlucks are fun. I just upset by people's attitudes about these things. Get over it, have fun, ENJOY each other!

OP, do what feels right for you! I would definetely come, and I would NOT talk about you behind your back. Now THAT would be TACKY!