Book Reccomendations please!

[septbride2002]

Anyone read any good books about mothers who work outside the home?

~Amanda

 

[Christine]

Fiction, non-fiction? Is that the subject matter: mothers who work outside the home? Sorry if I'm being dense.

 

[ahutton]

I read a fun one, that had some great perspectives. "I Don't Know How She Does It" was a fictional story of a working mom and how she tried to live up to the role of great worker and great Mom. As a Mom of 3, and a full time employee who loves her job, I loved the story of trying to do it all and making tough decisions.

ETA: I'm assuming it was fiction, but may have been based on real life.

 

[septbride2002]

It can be either. A friend of mine is having a REALLY hard time going back to work after having her baby. She thinks she is a bad mother because she needs to use day care. I want to show her that she is not.

~Amanda

 

[Christine]

It can be either. A friend of mine is having a REALLY hard time going back to work after having her baby. She thinks she is a bad mother because she needs to use day care. I want to show her that she is not.

~Amanda

Oh, can't help you then. I can't say that I have read one positive book on this. I also read "I Don't Know How She Does It" and I'm not sure it would help. I remember it being funny but I think the woman was also guilt ridden.

As for your friend, why does she feel like a "bad mother." I work because I have to; I think I would like to stay home but I can't. I think as long as you find really good daycare and you make sure not to put in 20 hours a day, it is fine and the kids are happy.

Unfortunately, if she's got this kind of thinking going on--well, it is very hard to change. One of my co-workers had this feeling and she was miserable every day that she worked. Overwrought with guilt. She finally quit and tried to do daycare and stay home. She was happy to be home and that guilt was gone, but she was also kind of miserable at home. I think when you set yourself up with these "perfect ideals" of what a mother should be, you get disappointed very fast.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Amanda--has she looked at some parenting resources at the library or barnes and noble...they have books about everything.

There is a magazine called Working Mother magazine. I've seen it at the doctors office--a subscription would be a good, ongoing reminder that her choice to go back to work is a normal one and nothing to be feeling bad or guilty about.
http://www.workingmother.com/ (having trouble with links on the page...so I can't look around and find anything).



Researching--you might peruse more carefully to make sure I didn't recommend an inappropriate book as I'm reading the summaries and assuming they are Pro-working mom, so if something sneaks through that isn't, I apologize.

The Working Mother's Guide To Life: Strategies, Secrets, And Solutions

Linda Mason
Author Biography: LINDA MASON, cited by Working Mother magazine asone of its "25 Most Influential Working Mothers in America," is chairman and cofounder of Bright Horizons Family Solutions, the world's largest provider of employer-based workplace child care and early education. She lives in the Boston area with her husband and three children.


No time to look up others..but that seemed a decent find.

Good luck to your friend.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Unfortunately, if she's got this kind of thinking going on--well, it is very hard to change. One of my co-workers had this feeling and she was miserable every day that she worked. Overwrought with guilt. She finally quit and tried to do daycare and stay home. She was happy to be home and that guilt was gone, but she was also kind of miserable at home. I think when you set yourself up with these "perfect ideals" of what a mother should be, you get disappointed very fast.

On the flip side--I ended up with PPD when I went back to work. When I left work--the removal of that stresser helped the PPD subside. (work situation was bad prior to my leaving for maternity leave..and then the daycare situation had some snafus--so it was a combo of factors that let to me feeling like poo). I was not so lucky with the 2nd baby and had to have meds to help with that occurrance.

But looking into the root cause of her feelings is a very good idea.

 

[Cindy B]

I just read a fantastic one that made me cry! Its by Michelle Kennedy. The title is Without a Net : Middle Class and Homeless (with Kids) in America (Paperback)


This was a middle class working mom that through a bad marriage wound up homeless and working to make ends meet with her family. She winds up in a tourist town in Maine, and is very welcomed.

There are struggles, heartbreak, but lots and lots and lots of love. She had four kids to deal with plus guilt of working and not knowing what to do with her kids.

It was gut wrenching but very very hopeful as well.

 

[septbride2002]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions! It is really her MIL making her feel bad saying things like daycare is bad, and that she really ought to stay home. It is bad enough to deal with the guilt of using daycare then to have your MIL reinforce it.

~Amanda