BLAIR TO BRITAIN: JUST KIDDING!
Claims Iraq Position Was Elaborate Practical Joke
Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain shocked his nation today as he revealed that his steadfast support of the U.S. position on Iraq had been an elaborate practical joke.
Mr. Blair, who has seen his popularity even within his own party plummet because of his support of a proposed U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, said in a nationally televised address that he was only kidding about that support.
I have been supporting President Bushs policy on Iraq as an elaborate April Fools Day prank, Mr. Blair revealed.
It had been my sincerest wish to wait until April the First to pop out and say, April Fools to each and every one of you, but the fate of my party and of this nation demands that I do this today, he added.
While Mr. Blair said he regretted not being able to wait until April 1 to reveal that he was just kidding about Iraq, he added, I hope you will agree that it was a very jolly joke nonetheless.
Moments after Mr. Blairs address, however, opposition leader Iain Duncan Smith questioned the Prime Ministers version of events, saying, Tony Blair has never shown even the slightest signs of being a prankster or practical joker, and if he is embarking upon a career of tomfoolery now it is merely for the sake of political expediency.
But Mr. Blair quickly countered Mr. Smiths charges: Upon many occasions during my tenure as Prime Minister, I have employed fake vomit and dog droppings to get a rise out of the Queen, Desmond Tutu and many other foreign leaders. My position on Iraq was entirely consistent with those actions.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
Claims Iraq Position Was Elaborate Practical Joke
Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain shocked his nation today as he revealed that his steadfast support of the U.S. position on Iraq had been an elaborate practical joke.
Mr. Blair, who has seen his popularity even within his own party plummet because of his support of a proposed U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, said in a nationally televised address that he was only kidding about that support.
I have been supporting President Bushs policy on Iraq as an elaborate April Fools Day prank, Mr. Blair revealed.
It had been my sincerest wish to wait until April the First to pop out and say, April Fools to each and every one of you, but the fate of my party and of this nation demands that I do this today, he added.
While Mr. Blair said he regretted not being able to wait until April 1 to reveal that he was just kidding about Iraq, he added, I hope you will agree that it was a very jolly joke nonetheless.
Moments after Mr. Blairs address, however, opposition leader Iain Duncan Smith questioned the Prime Ministers version of events, saying, Tony Blair has never shown even the slightest signs of being a prankster or practical joker, and if he is embarking upon a career of tomfoolery now it is merely for the sake of political expediency.
But Mr. Blair quickly countered Mr. Smiths charges: Upon many occasions during my tenure as Prime Minister, I have employed fake vomit and dog droppings to get a rise out of the Queen, Desmond Tutu and many other foreign leaders. My position on Iraq was entirely consistent with those actions.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
