Birthday invitation- advice needed

[Not so Dumbo]

Both of my boys came home yesterday with birthday invitations to party this Saturday. The party is for a boy who is 9, the same age as my oldest DS. My DS has never been in the same class with him, just rides the same bus. My younger DS and this boys younger brother are in the same class, they are friends but not close friends. My DS 9 can't go to the party b/c he is going away for the weekend with his grandparents, but DS7 isn't going and is excited about the birthday party. This is where I need some advice. I'm not sure if I should let DS7 go. Here are the reasons why I have some reservations. My DS7 isn't very responsible, he'd forget his head if it weren't attached. I don't know this boys parent's at all. If I'm thinking of the right ones, I'm not sure that they speak English very well if at all. The phone number that they gave for RSVP is for a different area code than where we are. The party isn't for someone who is even DS7's age it is for the older brother(who I never heard of until now). The party is at this boys house which isn't in a very good part of town.
I don't want to sound like I'm being judgemental, but my only consern is for my DS's safety. But still, I really hate to hurt anyone's feelings.
I'm so 50/50 on this and I'm running out of time. The party is only 2 days from now.

 

[kpadalik]

I would think of something to do with your DS (mini-golf, etc.) that day. Then you can tell parents that he has plans already. And your DS won't miss not being at the party because he gets to do something special with YOU instead. I've done that before with my DD6. I just tell her that I had planned something special to do over the weekend and she quickly forgets about the party!

 

[StitchFanZ]

Can you just stay for the party? I don't know if that is normal in your area but most parents would appreciate an extra parent helper or you could just hang out in the background. When you rsvp ask if its OK to stay as you need to drive him there anyway.

 

[Bren's Mom]

Is this a party at their home? If it is I'd just call and say that ds7 would love to come but since he's much younger than most of the kids would the mom mind if you hung out there to keep an eye on him since ds9 can't be there. I can't imagine her refusing, I wouldn't I'd think that was great. I wouldn't keep him from going if he really wants to, I would try to make it work.

 

[okeydokey]

I would take him and stay myself. It may be nice for you all to get to know this family better.

 

[ms_missy66]

Maybe I'm a bad mom, but when a party invite comes that has me alligning the moon and stars to make it work (either because we're busy or I just don't feel *quite right* about it), I squelch it guiltlessly. We got an invite for a pool party on the Thursday before the Saturday party. I wasn't given any information about life guards (it was at a resort), I sure as heck didn't want to put on a suit and stay/swim, DD wasn't close with the kid who was being honored but she did want to go because she would get to swim. Forget that! We declined. I told DD we'd be busy and then I just proceeded to make us busy. LOL We went to a movie and hung out and she was happy. I say decline the invite.

 

[Peanut&Piglet'sMom]

I say, don't go. Give a polite call to the RSVP number and then taek you younger son out somewhere special so his mind is off of if!

 

[PollyannaMom]

I would take him and stay myself. It may be nice for you all to get to know this family better.

I like this idea.

I expect your younger one was specifically invited to be a companion for the birthday boy's younger brother. The phone having another area code could be just because it's a cell, and if you can stay and offer to help, you won't worry about him.

 

[Becky2005]

I like this idea.

I expect your younger one was specifically invited to be a companion for the birthday boy's younger brother. The phone having another area code could be just because it's a cell, and if you can stay and offer to help, you won't worry about him.

That's what I'm thinking. The different area code is common now with all the different cell phones floating around. I'm thinking since the younger 2 play together, the mom thought to invite him so those 2 could hang out together instead of birthday boys younger sibling being a pest to his brother (as was my case tonight as it is actually my now 9 year old's birthday and younger sibling was being a pest! ).

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would go and stay, but not leave him. It was nice of them to invite both boys.

 

[bellebud]

I agree w/ others to either let him go but you stay, or decline and do something special w/ him.

 

[justhat]

As long as I were home and didn't have plans, I would send my child. If I got there and thought the situation was questionable, then I would stay. But really, what is likely to happen at the party? Even if the neighborhood isn't the best, they're presumably going to be staying in the house/yard, not running around recklessly. Your son would probably hang around the little brother and they might even end up just playing in his room or whatever. Yes, of course something always 'could' happen, and that's why I said that if you feel uncomfortable when you get there that you should just stay.


And the phone thing, we have many friends/parents of my kids friends who have out of town area codes. Some are cell phones, but others moved here from out of state and have Vonage and kept their out of state phone number. Not a big deal. Actually, while we have a local area code for our house phone (Washington, DC), I have an out of state cell number (New Jersey) and my husband's cell number is also out of state, but a totally different state than mine (Louisiana). SO on our kids invites, the RSVP numbers are spanning the eastern half of the country!

 

[chrisw127]

I would take him and stay myself. It may be nice for you all to get to know this family better.

Me too. If that's not possible, I wouldn't let him go. I don't think you're wrong to be worried; there are older kids there who he doesn't know very well.