Being Requested to Get Whooping Cough Vaccine to Hold Infant

[MIGrandma]

Our grandson and his wife are expecting their first child in September, this will be our first great-grandchild. His wife has posted on Facebook that she wants everyone who plans to hold the baby to get a whooping cough vaccine.

What would you think if this was requested of you?

I plan to discuss it with my doctor at my next diabetic checkup in June, but just wondered what others here thought.

My daughter-in-law is refusing to do it, and really went off on our grandson's wife on Facebook for even making the request. It was through that post that I found out my daughter-in-law is 100% against vaccinations, and did not have her daughters (18 and 15) vaccinated at all. That is a whole other discussion though. But she did bring up the fact that our grandson's wife is still smoking, while pregnant. To me, if she was all that concerned about her baby's health she would have quit smoking when they first started trying to get pregnant.

 

[gmboy95]

I have zero patience for anti vaccine people, so i wont even go there....but i think you are right. Check with your doctor and follow their advice. However there is alot to unpack here. What is the reason for the request?...Is it completely random?...and smoking while you are pregnant is really about 10,000 times more damaging to a baby then being held by a non whooping cough shot person......Any chance this request is just a way to take a shot at the anti-vax person?

 

[Magpie]

I would try to stay out of it, wait, and see how things play out, considering your daughter-in-law sounds like she's in the middle of a fight with your grandson's wife. I'd also try to avoid gossiping about the grandson's wife. She can be very concerned about her baby's health, and still find it difficult to resist her addiction to nicotine. These are not mutually exclusive positions to hold.

With regards to updating your own vaccines, I think discussing it with your doctor is an excellent plan. You may want to get up to date on a few of them, not just whooping cough. At the very least, you'll likely want to get a flu shot this September.

For the record, I'm glad to hear your grandson and his wife are taking vaccines seriously. And that their child will likely be properly vaccinated. Whooping cough is no joke, and the vaccine wears off after a few decades. I may have had whooping cough myself a few years back (though it was never conclusively confirmed). It was awful. I'd never, ever want to risk exposing an infant to that!

 

[MamaBelle4]

Smoking aside (which obviously the pregnant woman should not do), I do not see an issue with this, especially since she knows her mother in law (I assume that's the relationship) didn't vaccinate.

I have no, NO patience for those who choose not to vaccinate. Whopping cough is making a huge come back (we got a letter this year that it was going through the elementary school) and it is dangerous, if not deadly to infants. Mom to be is trying to protect her child who will be too young for the vaccine as a newborn.

 

[gmboy95]

Smoking aside (which obviously the pregnant woman should not do), I do not see an issue with this, especially since she knows her mother in law (I assume that's the relationship) didn't vaccinate.

I have no, NO patience for those who choose not to vaccinate. Whopping cough is making a huge come back (we got a letter this year that it was going through the elementary school) and it is dangerous, if not deadly to infants. Mom to be is trying to protect her child who will be too young for the vaccine as a newborn.

hmmmm, i didn't know this....now i can see why they are requesting it

 

[ziggystardust]

There's a whole lot in that post that I won't comment on but I have 11 month old twins and I requested that my parents and my mother in law all get the whooping cough vaccine while I was pregnant. They obviously cleared it with their doctors first but I did make the request and they respected that.

 

[Maggie Lizer]

My kids are 6 and 4 and I had absolutely no second thoughts about asking my parents, my in-laws, and my sister get the tdap booster before my older son was born. Everyone complied.

Anti-vaxers annoy me to no end, personally.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Whopping cough is no joke--a friend of ours had it. He'd been vaccinated as a child, but didn't get a booster in later years. He was really sick for months--he said it took close to a year before he felt normal again. It's deadly serious to infants, as well. So, I can understand the mother's position on this. But even without the scenario you presented, it would be a good idea for you to discuss this with your physician, for your own health. Then, I would stay out of the ensuing vaccine drama, for your own emotional well-being (and to keep your blood pressure down!). I won't speculate on if this is an overcautious mother, a prudent one, or one taking pot-shots at someone else's vaccine choices. Bottom line is, it's her baby, so she has the right to lay out some ground rules. Of course, then she loses the right to crab and whine because nobody comes to visit her.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

If it was a relative I'd be seeing a lot of and potentially spending time with the baby then I'd CONSIDER it but if my doctor said I don't need it or should not get it then I wouldn't.
But um just to hold a baby for a few minutes like a friend that would come to see the newly born child? No freaking way.
Does she think everyone interacting with the baby at the hospital or dr's office or out in the world has been vaccinated? She's gonna learn things the hard way lol.

 

[robinb]

Is your DIL the baby's grandmother? Or the dad's aunt?

 

[pghmom]

This is actually a CDC recommendation that everyone that comes into contact with the newborn has their updated TDAP vaccine.

https://www.cdc.gov/features/pertussis/

http://www.uofmhealth.org/news/arch...can-be-deadly-infants-61-percent-adults-don’t

 

[Allison]

My daughter-in-law is refusing to do it, and really went off on our grandson's wife on Facebook for even making the request. It was through that post that I found out my daughter-in-law is 100% against vaccinations, and did not have her daughters (18 and 15) vaccinated at all. That is a whole other discussion though. But she did bring up the fact that our grandson's wife is still smoking, while pregnant. To me, if she was all that concerned about her baby's health she would have quit smoking when they first started trying to get pregnant.

If this a different daughter-in-law than the grandson's mother? You mention her daughters but not him as a son. Just interested in the family dynamics.

 

[Distinkt]

I did it for the sake of my grandchildren. I was asked and I had it done when I got my annual physical. No problems. My children are in health care and asked and I did it. I certainly wasn't going to risk missing out on the ability to be in those babies' lives. Whooping cough is no joke.

 

[Daniela Rose]

Wow, where to begin. Let's start with the whopping cough vaccine. I'll share my experience from the other side. I had my first almost four years ago and I, dh and all grandparents got the whooping cough vaccine at my request. If they didn't, they didn't have to hold or be near my newborn. Their call. Whooping cough can be fatal to a newborn.

Now, don't even get me started on the no vaccines and really don't get me started on the mother to be still smoking while pregnant. There really are no words...that I can say on here...about that. She's worried about the potential of whooping cough yet she still smokes while pregnant and is 100% causing damage to her baby. ***.

 

[design_mom]

I have not been asked to get a booster regarding being around a newborn (I don't know any right now), but I would probably comply.

There have been cases of whooping cough at my kids' schools for the last 3 years running. It's making a comeback. I wouldn't want to chance giving it to a newborn.

 

[Magpie]

If it was a relative I'd be seeing a lot of and potentially spending time with the baby then I'd CONSIDER it but if my doctor said I don't need it or should not get it then I wouldn't.
But um just to hold a baby for a few minutes like a friend that would come to see the newly born child? No freaking way.
Does she think everyone interacting with the baby at the hospital or dr's office or out in the world has been vaccinated? She's gonna learn things the hard way lol.

Some parents just request that random casual acquaintances don't hold their baby at all, until the kid's old enough to be vaccinated. Heck, I've been running into people lately who won't even let you touch their puppies, until the wee critter has had its shots! And I completely respect that.

No one wants to have to learn this the hard way:

 

[Hikergirl]

While I won't comment on what I think about her smoking while she is pregnant, I bet that since she does smoke while pregnant it has probably been recommended to her that she try to keep the risk of infections down for her baby.
I don't see the issue with her request, and if someone doesn't want to get the vaccine then they don't have to hold the baby.

 

[AustinMommyofThree]

Sounds like a tremendous amount of irresponsibility on both sides. I think otherwise healthy people who can, but do not, vaccinate (or do not vaccinate their otherwise healthy children) are selfish, ignorant, and should be held accountable for anybody they harm. And a pregnant woman who smokes is equally selfish and ignorant and is not somebody for whom I have any respect.

Ultimately, nobody has a right to hold my children, nor do I have a right to hold anybody's chid, so if I say you need to have your vaccinations up to date, then you can comply or accept the consequences.

 

[MagicallyMom]

Uhh, I feel like there's so much I want to say but it's really not my place to say most of it.

Smoking vs. Whooping cough?!

Ok, ok, I'll be good.

Now then, I think her point may be moot from a medical standpoint. I, too, am pregnant (not smoking) and was told that at my next appointment (At 16 weeks) I'd get a whooping cough vaccine that would also take care of the baby while still in utero. If she does this, there's no cause for you to also be vaccinated unless you were going to do it for other reasons.

 

[Pkltm]

My issue with whole situation besides the smoking is the airing of issues on social media. If it was my child I would speak to the people about my concerns and ask them to vaccinate. Not use a Facebook cattle call.