Bad News....Update to Good News!

[FourFlans]

DH, our two DDs and my parents leave for WDW in 23 days for our first ever trip. MIL was just diagnosed with lung cancer.

Things are very emotional right now, not much good in the way of prognosis or treatment options, and DH is questioning the wisdom of the trip.

I love my MIL dearly, we live very close and we'll probably end up taking care of her in our home.

But I'm feeling downright disloyal right now, and selfish. I don't want to give up this trip that we've been planning for a year. And our two DDs (8 and 5) would be crushed.

Not really asking for answers, there are no easy ones. Guess just need a little PD to lift me up.

First, thanks to everyone who responded with hugs, prayers and best wishes.

Went with MIL to hospital yesterday for her bronchoscopy (DH was out of town). Dr. came in with huge smile and some really beautiful pictures of her lung...with NO TUMOR!!!!!!!!!!!

We know there are still cancer cells somewhere, and he ordered too many tests to count from pathology, but he is now much more optimistic about prognosis and treatment options.

Needless to say, the entire family is greatly relieved. Although this battle is certainly not over, we are all feeling extremely happy today (DH is like a different person).

I'm convinced that or family has received a miracle and believe me, we are all very grateful. We're going to have such a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!! And DH said last night, "Now I can get excited about Disney!"

So, thanks again and please continue those prayers and positive thoughts.

 

[Credit Man]

 

[chrissyk]

I don't know if you'd consider this, but could you take her with you? Would that even be medically feasible? If her time is limited, it might be a very special experience for your family to spend an XMas at WDW with your MIL.

 

[vacanut]

My first thoughts, is it possible to take her along with you?
I am sure she woudn't want you to cancel your trip but perhaps you could include her in it.

 

[FourFlans]

I've thought of that but haven't mentioned it to DH. It's not impossible to take her along. We're driving and we have a large condo rented for the week. Only trouble is the amount of walking required in the Parks. She's really not able to move around a lot, and definately not able to walk long distances.

She went to WDW with daughter and her family a few years back and said it was a bit too much for her. So I'm thinking she might not want to go. I'm not completely ruling it out.

Just got off the phone with DH and he's got a contractor coming to our house to see about adding a downstairs guest suite for her. We have a downstairs master but all other rooms are upstairs. DDs both have their own rooms up there. We could just move out of our room, but he wants to see how much it would take and how long to build the addition.

I'll tell ya', I'm just not prepared to start losing the people I love the most. I just can't imagine losing my mom--it absolutely breaks my heart to think what DH is feeling inside.

So back to the trip......it's likely that we'll still go, since I think you're right, MIL would not want us to cancel and spoil it for her granddaughters. But I'm worried that DH will not have a very good time and will constantly think he needs to be at home.

 

[DisneyDotty]

I've thought of that but haven't mentioned it to DH. It's not impossible to take her along. We're driving and we have a large condo rented for the week. Only trouble is the amount of walking required in the Parks. She's really not able to move around a lot, and definately not able to walk long distances.

She went to WDW with daughter and her family a few years back and said it was a bit too much for her. So I'm thinking she might not want to go. I'm not completely ruling it out.

First,
Do consider taking her and renting an electric cart thing (can't remember the name--they are EVERYWHERE at WDW!) for her to ride in. This would alleviate the problem of getting around.
Good luck!

 

[diznygirl]

I would definitely consider taking your MIL with you, if she'd go. The walking thing can be worked around - with EV's and wheelchairs. We took my FIL to Disneyland two months before he died - we have some great pics of him and his grandkids - and it's something that was special to him.

 

[DVCLiz]

I'd try to go and not push your MIL to come along. I'd consider the trip the equivalent of borrowing some emotional money you're going to need later - go and have a wonderful trip with family, and you'll be stronger and better prepared to deal with your MIL's illness when you return. When my mom was diagnosed, we had several months of pretty good time - and I hope you will, too!!!

 

[DVC Kathy]

She might enjoy the trip even if she doesn't choose to go to the parks. Sitting in the Florida sunshine, spending some time with her family (you won't be in the parks 24-7.

I know how difficult it is to face losing a parent.

Kathy

 

[Snoopymom]

Hugs! I also vote for trying to get her to go along.

Any chance you could switch from a condo to a home where you could all hang out by the pool just steps away. She wouldn't feel like she has to go to the parks, but she could relax and spend time with you all during the down times. We try to take a trip like this once a year and our parents love it, they read the paper by the pool, go to breakfast, the Titanic Exhibit, Gator Land....less crazy and crowded stuff, but it's still like a family vacation.

If she can't go, then I'm sure she wouldn't want you to cancel, she'll want the experience of seeng the pictures and hearing all about it when you get back!

 

[FourFlans]

Thanks everyone for the positive thoughts. Talked with DH about this....he's so great! He already thought about taking her, had mentioned something to her about Disney or anywhere else she might like to go while she still feels up to it. MIL doesn't want to go to Disney or anywhere else.

Long story, but DH's family has had some really tough times. MIL has had a hard life. DH and his siblings haven't really gotten along for years. MIL has middle child living with her. Basically, the Adam's Family is the model family compared to the one I married into.

But I love them all and (I hope this doesn't sound patronistic) I'm so proud of the way the siblings have pulled together on this. We had a big family fish fry at our house on Sunday and there was not one cross word from anyone. MIL smiled and laughed, enjoyed her kids and grandkids, like she hasn't done in years.

Anyway, she told DH that she doesn't want any trips, or big gifts, or extravagent gestures. She just wants to have more days like Sunday, where everyone is together. I told him the greates thing he could do for her now is to give her some peace and joy--so that's what we'll do.

I hope he can take your advice and use the trip to refresh and build up his reserves. We're all going to need it in the coming months.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

no advice, just want to give you a

 

[FourFlans]

Thanks.....needed that!

 

[Pooh93]

Sending you good thoughts and prayers for the months ahead.

 

[FourFlans]

Have great news to share.....scroll down for the update to my original post. And thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers!!!!!

 

[MickeysMommy]

Continued prayers and many to you all! God Bless.

 

[roque]

yu deserve a , and a