At what age did you start leaving your child home alone?

[SydSim]

As DD gets older, we are allowing her to be home without us for short periods of time. Now, we're thinking of those longer stretches of time (4-5 hours) that she will be left alone.

I realize that everyone's child is different and we should judge her by maturity, but I'd like to know what other people do as well.

Kinda nervous cause she's an only child, but also remembering another thread where people said they got into the most trouble if their parents weren't there when they had a sibling there with them

Thanks!

 

[minkydog]

As DD gets older, we are allowing her to be home without us for short periods of time. Now, we're thinking of those longer stretches of time (4-5 hours) that she will be left alone.

I realize that everyone's child is different and we should judge her by maturity, but I'd like to know what other people do as well.

Kinda nervous cause she's an only child, but also remembering another thread where people said they got into the most trouble if their parents weren't there when they had a sibling there with them

Thanks!

I let my kids start staying home for 30 min when they were about 9. Gradually, as we all got more comfortable and they proved they could handle the responsibility we worked our way up to 3 hours by the time they were 12. At 16 we allowed them to stay alone overnight, with our giant poodle in the house with them and all the neighbors notified.

 

[golfgal]

For shot stints like running one kid to a practice and right back home, probably 3rd grade or so which then led to longer times by 4th grade, by 5th grade they were babysitting other people's kids. I know of people that still won't let their high school age kids stay home alone and DS17 is "babysitting" after school this year for an 8th grader and a 6th grader for an hour and a half until their parents get home. I find that strange but they are paying him $100/week so who am I to say.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think around 9 or 10. Dd13 hated to go to ds's games, so we started leaving her home for them. Now she babysits the rest of them (when she's available). Ds11 can be home alone or with a friend for up to 2 hours or so, and I've left him home in charge of his siblings for under an hour. With 5 kids, there really isn't much opportunity to be home alone! We're also in an established neighborhood, homes close to each other, and we know all of our neighbors very well.

 

[SaraJayne]

My DS is 12 and a half and we've allowed him to be home alone for short periods (3-4 hours) since the start of the summer.

 

[mjkacmom]

For shot stints like running one kid to a practice and right back home, probably 3rd grade or so which then led to longer times by 4th grade, by 5th grade they were babysitting other people's kids. I know of people that still won't let their high school age kids stay home alone and DS17 is "babysitting" after school this year for an 8th grader and a 6th grader for an hour and a half until their parents get home. I find that strange but they are paying him $100/week so who am I to say.

Those poor kids!

 

[pls5286]

We started letting my son stay home "alone" at the age of 8. But either he was at my parents and I was home next door or vice versa. He started really staying home alone at the age of 11 and at almost 12, started babysitting his younger sister, who is 6. He will stay alone for several hours just him and will babysit for up to an hour if necessary. I will not leave the two of them alone for longer than that, but they have done wonderful when together. I totally trust him with his sister. He is very mature for his age and even though they know where I am, I usually don't call when I am on the way home, so they don't know exactly when I am going to walk in the door, and are usually doing homework or watching TV when I come home.

 

[minkydog]

As DD gets older, we are allowing her to be home without us for short periods of time. Now, we're thinking of those longer stretches of time (4-5 hours) that she will be left alone.

I realize that everyone's child is different and we should judge her by maturity, but I'd like to know what other people do as well.

Kinda nervous cause she's an only child, but also remembering another thread where people said they got into the most trouble if their parents weren't there when they had a sibling there with them

Thanks!

I let my kids start staying home for 30 min when they were about 9. Gradually, as we all got more comfortable and they proved they could handle the responsibility we worked our way up to 3 hours by the time they were 12. At 16 we allowed them to stay alone overnight, with our giant poodle in the house with them and all the neighbors notified.

Once when DS was 12 I had left him in charge of his 6yo sister and 4yo handicapped brother(who didn't walk or get into things, anyway.) There would be a 30 minute gap between the time I left to go TO work and DH got home FROM work. Would you know, we had a huge severe storm come up during that time? I was stuck in Atlanta rush-hour traffic and there was no turning around. DH was stuck in traffic with hail raining down. THe kids were in the direct path of a tornado. And the cell towers were down. Neither of us could reach the kids to tell them what to do. But, you know? DS12 rose to the occasion. He remembered our past drills and gathered up his sister and escorted her to the safe room in the basement, then went back for DS4 and carried him bodily down a flight of stairs and made him a little bed in the room. They stayed there until DH came home.

Thankfully, we had no damage and the severe storm bypassed our neighborhood. It was hair-raising for me and even though DS12 performed beautifully, I rearranged my schedule so that they never had to stay alone again. Maybe that was over kill. But, I'm happy to say that we have NEVER had a problem with the kids staying home alone. Nary a party, no contraband, no police, nada.

 

[clh2]

DD started staying home alone for short periods around the beginning of 3rd grade. She came home alone after school in 4th grade.

My advice...make sure you have very clear expectations. Make sure your child understands your expectations. Make sure your child knows what happens if they do not follow your expectations....Ie...DD was not allowed to answer the phone, unless she knew it was either DH or me, or the pre-determined "safe" neighbor. She was not allowed to answer the door.

The consequences for doing the wrong thing was to go back to the babysitter. There wasn't going to be a warning. There wasn't a 2nd chance.

BTW - DD did well with the rules we set up for her.

And- set up a safe neighbor or 2. In the event a key gets lost, or if they are just scared for whatever reason, they need to know what to do. And - in a couple of instances - we had the neighbor literally "grab" her as she got off the bus...i.e. when we had a furnace repairman in, and on a day that a person got terminated in our office. Probably overreacting on the terminating thing...but heck...just not taking any chances. (DD was in 8th grade at that time.)

 

[pls5286]

I let my kids start staying home for 30 min when they were about 9. Gradually, as we all got more comfortable and they proved they could handle the responsibility we worked our way up to 3 hours by the time they were 12. At 16 we allowed them to stay alone overnight, with our giant poodle in the house with them and all the neighbors notified.

Once when DS was 12 I had left him in charge of his 6yo sister and 4yo handicapped brother(who didn't walk or get into things, anyway.) There would be a 30 minute gap between the time I left to go TO work and DH got home FROM work. Would you know, we had a huge severe storm come up during that time? I was stuck in Atlanta rush-hour traffic and there was no turning around. DH was stuck in traffic with hail raining down. THe kids were in the direct path of a tornado. And the cell towers were down. Neither of us could reach the kids to tell them what to do. But, you know? DS12 rose to the occasion. He remembered our past drills and gathered up his sister and escorted her to the safe room in the basement, then went back for DS4 and carried him bodily down a flight of stairs and made him a little bed in the room. They stayed there until DH came home.

Thankfully, we had no damage and the severe storm bypassed our neighborhood. It was hair-raising for me and even though DS12 performed beautifully, I rearranged my schedule so that they never had to stay alone again. Maybe that was over kill. But, I'm happy to say that we have NEVER had a problem with the kids staying home alone. Nary a party, no contraband, no police, nada.

Your post gave me goosebumps.

Kudos to your son for knowing what to do in an emergency. All kids who stay home alone or babysit should know what to do when a situation like this arises and not depend on a phone call to tell them what to do. My son know basic First Aid/CPR thanks to Boy Scouts and if Tornado Alarms go off he and his sister are to run to mema's because my house is not tornado safe and they have a basement.

 

[golfgal]

I let my kids start staying home for 30 min when they were about 9. Gradually, as we all got more comfortable and they proved they could handle the responsibility we worked our way up to 3 hours by the time they were 12. At 16 we allowed them to stay alone overnight, with our giant poodle in the house with them and all the neighbors notified.

Once when DS was 12 I had left him in charge of his 6yo sister and 4yo handicapped brother(who didn't walk or get into things, anyway.) There would be a 30 minute gap between the time I left to go TO work and DH got home FROM work. Would you know, we had a huge severe storm come up during that time? I was stuck in Atlanta rush-hour traffic and there was no turning around. DH was stuck in traffic with hail raining down. THe kids were in the direct path of a tornado. And the cell towers were down. Neither of us could reach the kids to tell them what to do. But, you know? DS12 rose to the occasion. He remembered our past drills and gathered up his sister and escorted her to the safe room in the basement, then went back for DS4 and carried him bodily down a flight of stairs and made him a little bed in the room. They stayed there until DH came home.

Thankfully, we had no damage and the severe storm bypassed our neighborhood. It was hair-raising for me and even though DS12 performed beautifully, I rearranged my schedule so that they never had to stay alone again. Maybe that was over kill. But, I'm happy to say that we have NEVER had a problem with the kids staying home alone. Nary a party, no contraband, no police, nada.

It is stories like these that more people need to read because they seriously underestimate their kids and how responsible they really can be. The sirens were going off here on Wednesday and a friend of mine (who tends to be very overly protective) got a text from his DD that they were going to go to the basement just in case. It surprised him that they would think about doing that. I had to remind him that they have had tornado drills in school for the past how many years and his kids are 14 and 12, not 2 and 3.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

We didn't let our oldest son stay home alone until he was 13. His situation is a little different because he has Asperger's and his emotional development tends to lag behind a couple of years. He's now 14 and we still don't leave him for more than 2 hours and only if we'll be close by (like at the Little League field for our 10 year old's games). He's a little shy about answering the phone so we told him to go to the answering machine when the phone rings. If it's us calling, he can hear us on the machine and he knows to pick up the phone. He also has our cell numbers and sometimes calls to tell us what he's doing and not to worry about him.

I still won't leave both kids home together. They usually get along fine but if they started fighting when we weren't home, it could be a problem. So, for now, the little one has to come to the store with me while the older one stays home. That's life when you're the yougest!

 

[golfgal]

We didn't let our oldest son stay home alone until he was 13. His situation is a little different because he has Asperger's and his emotional development tends to lag behind a couple of years. He's now 14 and we still don't leave him for more than 2 hours and only if we'll be close by (like at the Little League field for our 10 year old's games). He's a little shy about answering the phone so we told him to go to the answering machine when the phone rings. If it's us calling, he can hear us on the machine and he knows to pick up the phone. He also has our cell numbers and sometimes calls to tell us what he's doing and not to worry about him.

I still won't leave both kids home together. They usually get along fine but if they started fighting when we weren't home, it could be a problem. So, for now, the little one has to come to the store with me while the older one stays home. That's life when you're the yougest!

We paid our twins $1 if they behaved for their older brother when he babysat-he got paid the going babysitting rate if we came home to a clean house and no arguments .

 

[Disney Doll]

I think I was about 11 and my mother would leave me alone for short stints (like a quick trip to the local market...30 minutes) during the day.

It gradually got longer, and by the itme I was 13, I was babysitting.

 

[NHdisneylover]

DD and DS both took the "staying home alone" course offered by the Red Cross at age 8 (it covered all the same stuff DH and I did but I thought it was good for them to hear it from another source). After that they were allowed to stay home (alone or "alone together") while I ran short errands. Over the year we would increase the time. By the time they were 8 and 10 they were fine staying home "alone together" for large chunks of the day or evening with a nearby neighbor on call. They are now 12 and 10 and both can stay home alone all day (or into the evening) either really alone or together with no issues. They have appropriately handled tornado warnings and nighttime power outages.
It does really depend on the kid and how responisble s/he is and how comfortable s/hr is with the idea.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Our oldest started staying home alone when he was 10. He'd walk home from school and DH wouldn't get home until about 30 - 45 minutes later. That's the year we got him a cell phone.

Our youngest is only 6, way too young to leave alone even for a few minutes.

 

[powellrj]

With my oldest he was staying alone after school for an hour or so when he was in 5th grade. He was babysitting on saturday morning for a few hours when he was 13.

With my middle DS he was in middle school before he stayed alone but it was because he had an older brother at home, once he left home, DS would stay alone a few hours at about 11 or 12.

DD is 13 and she stays alone for short periods during the day and has babysat before for short periods. We really haven't had the opportunity for her to stay alone for longer periods, but I think she would do fine.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I was 10 when I started staying at home alone for full days.

 

[greengeen]

You should be aware that many states have laws governing at what age a child can be left alone. You should check your state's law, unless you want some child protective services agent knocking on your door. The general consensus in state law is 12 years old and some states mandate a child must be as old as 14. You can look here:

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

I personally think anyone who leaves an 8 year old is *nuts*.

 

[McKelly]

I would ask the kids, if they don't feel comfortable, don't do it. Mine are honest with me. My DD10 doesn't mind 30-60 minutes, but anything longer makes her nervous. She gets really quiet when I suggest it and I know she doesn't want to, and I consider her very mature compared to most of her friends!