Are they real or people in costumes?

[RweTHRyet]

We are excitedly planning our first family trip for October. My DD 7 and DD 5 asked if the characters are real or just people in costumes. I am not sure they best way to handle the question. I want the trip to be "magical", but we also do not lie. Any thoughts?

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

Mickey and the princesses and everyone are all very busy, so they sometimes ask their friends to dress up as them and take their place so they can do their very important jobs.

That's what my parents told me about Santa, anyway.

 

[Aliceacc]

How do your kids handle Santa at the mall? Or the Easter Bunny?

We don't have a single picture of any of my kids with any character-- my oldest was terrified as a child and passed the fear down to his sisters.

So my kids were told that the characters in the park were people in costumes. It worked for our family.

We found plenty of magic, just not there.

 

[Mom2Stitch]

That a tough question and one I answered with a question. We were at Disney when DS asked this. He told me that other kids had told him that in was a person in a costume. I asked him what he thought, his answer was "When I'm here Mickey is real in my heart because of Disney magic ". He knew the truth, but chose to suspend disbelief. I never had to lie to him.

He'll be 21 this upcoming trip and I can promise you that he will hug Mickey, Goofy, and Donald, just the same way I will,lol.

 

[TheMaxRebo]

Not sure if there is a right answer and depends on the family

I do think that you will be able to tell if you child wants to believe or wants to know they are people in costumes because if they want to believe they will easily accept what you say ... if they keep trying to poke holes in things, they they probably are wanting to move on with knowing they are people in costumes

So far my kids still want to believe and we just tell them "you are really meeting Elsa" (for example) - and, in reality, that is Elsa you are meeting. While it is a person dressed up it is the personification of the Disney character

Only thing I would add is that if you do tell them they are people in costume caution them not to spoil it for other kids

 

[Alesia]

The answer to that question is simple, its "Well, what do you think?" and then you follow their lead from there.

The fact that they asked means that they already know the answer, but they may or may not choose to suspend their disbelief. Either way, the magic will not be diminished.

 

[pd1138]

The answer to that question is simple, its "Well, what do you think?" and then you follow their lead from there.

The fact that they asked means that they already know the answer, but they may or may not choose to suspend their disbelief. Either way, the magic will not be diminished.

I agree! My DS was 6 at the time and the entire trip he was real friendly with all the characters like Mickey, Pluto, Stitch, Goofy, and Pooh. Able to get lots of pictures with them and my DS. Then we met the princesses with my DD. He became real weird and wouldn't go near them. I asked him what was wrong and he replied," mom, I know all the other characters are really a person in a costume, but the princesses are REAL!"

So just let your kids lead you.....

 

[CaliTex]

Ah, yes, the parental conundrum: where does the intersection of magic and faith and lying...lie? How to encourage imagination and yet not lie? My DH and I struggled with this a bit. He is very matter of fact, I am more imaginative and believe that believing are good things, but I certainly understood his point of view in being truthful with children----if we don't deal honestly and matter of factly with our children, how in the world can they ever trust us? And how can they ever learn to trust anyone, if their own parents lie? But I would argue that some magic and imagination never hurt anyone. So with our young children (and now grandkids) we compromised a little--and that sounded like this:

"Obviously, Pooh is not at Crystal Palace every morning, because he lives in The 100 Acre Wood with Eeyore and Tigger and Rabbit, and has Adventures he is involved in so he can't always get away...so the "pooh" and "eeyore" and "tigger" at breakfast are just very good friends, come to meet us and say hello. It's like, when we dress up as a princess or a pirate for Halloween--we aren't *really* a pirate or a princess--and yet, we kinda are. You know? Because imagination is like that." And I would say this with my husband looking at me very sternly and with some degree of--suspicion. Mr. Pragmatic. The Phlegmatic Pragmatic.

But if they were having a medical thing done--getting a shot or having a broken bone set, and they asked, "Will it hurt?" We would say, "Absolutely. (Or we would say "a little"--depending) But not for long, and not more than you can stand, and furthermore I will be right here with you for every stinking second."

Now our 5 children are grown, some with their own children, and I can say that they are all well adjusted, responsible, hard-working adults (thank you, DH ) but they still know how to have fun with their own children, still love Disney and still believe in a little magic. (Doing a small pat-on-own-back, here.)

 

[SgtTibbs]

We are excitedly planning our first family trip for October. My DD 7 and DD 5 asked if the characters are real or just people in costumes. I am not sure they best way to handle the question. I want the trip to be "magical", but we also do not lie. Any thoughts?

If they are asking the question, they already know the answer and are just looking to you for verification. Tell the truth.

 

[lennyd]

My daughter is 7 yrs old and she told me dad you know the princesses aren't real they are just girls dressed up like princesses and I told her there real what's next are you going to me there's no santas claus she said there's Santa clause . My point is enjoy the magic as long as you can because they grow up quick

 

[T_O]

I'm also someone who prefers to "tell the truth." But my husband is quite insistent that we at least keep Santa a secret.
Whatever feels best to you. There is no right or wrong here.

 

[wilkeliza]

That a tough question and one I answered with a question. We were at Disney when DS asked this. He told me that other kids had told him that in was a person in a costume. I asked him what he thought, his answer was "When I'm here Mickey is real in my heart because of Disney magic ". He knew the truth, but chose to suspend disbelief. I never had to lie to him.

He'll be 21 this upcoming trip and I can promise you that he will hug Mickey, Goofy, and Donald, just the same way I will,lol.

Oh I love this one! It is exactly how I feel at 28. I know he isn't real but when I'm at Disney he definitely is because of the way meeting the characters makes me feel.

 

[BrianL]

I'm 37 and they're still real to me when I'm there. Like Santa, it's a concept that trancends the basic notion. When I was a kid I believed Santa was a man in a red suit. When I realized the truth as an older kid I no longer felt he was "real." As an adult though I know that Santa is in fact very real, even if acting through others. Santa spreads joy and happiness, as do Mickey and friends at WDW.

Okay, so a kid isn't going to understand my very meta reasoning there, but I think it best to let kids come to their own conclusion on the matter.

 

[Mom2Stitch]

Only thing I would add is that if you do tell them they are people in costume caution them not to spoil it for other kids

This is very important, one of the times I've been most annoyed in my entire life was at MK waiting in line to meet Baloo. There were a couple of ladies in line behind us with a little boy. They kept talking rather loudly about how hot it had to be on that poor person in the bear costume. There were lots of kids in line and while I don't care a bit how another parent explains to their kid about the characters, at that time I didn't want my son's magic ruined.

 

[ktlm]

My answer to that question was always "Well, What do you think?" DD would always come up with her own explanation- usually it involved them being real even though I strongly suspect she fully knew the answer. Even now at age 10, she will not say that things are not "real", although she will talk about things like Zachary Levi was the voice of Flynn Ryder. At age 2-- DD was already questioning the mall Santas- which we said that many of them were Santa's helpers because he obviously would be home getting busy for the big day. Even now, Santa is entirely real-- but she will mention things like "that Mad Hatter doll I wanted that I got for Christmas that you found for me on Ebay because they didn't sell them anymore". At age 7, I strongly suspect that your older DD's school friends have totally enlightened her that things are not real-- I know the kids at DD's school started in on that in kindergarten.

I kind of suspect that she always knew it because I will never forget when she was 3 we went to a local Museum's easter event and they had a dinosaur and the Easter Bunny. When we got home, she called my Mom and said "Mamaw, I saw a guy in a dinosaur costume and a guy in an Easter Bunny costume!". I would just follow their lead and hopefully keep the magic a little alive by putting the ball in their court as to what they think.

 

[Shanti]

We are excitedly planning our first family trip for October. My DD 7 and DD 5 asked if the characters are real or just people in costumes. I am not sure they best way to handle the question. I want the trip to be "magical", but we also do not lie. Any thoughts?

I have always felt that by the time my child asked that queston, he was ready to know the truth, so I told him gently. "Yes, they're pretending, but we can still enjoy it." I responded this way to the Santa question, too. We also discussed how we keep our understanding of this a secret from younger kids, who wouldn't understand.

So I was able to honest to my son, he got a developmentally appropriate awareness of the fact that characters in costume are characters, and he also got the understanding that it was fine to enjoy the characters just the same, and that he shouldn't spoil the illusion for little ones.

All part of growing up.

 

[Jewel3k]

My kids all know they are people dressed in costume, but that doesn't lessen the magic of meeting them for most of the family. The youngest has been terrified since he saw Mickey Mouse at three, so explaining and reminding him that they are just people in costumes was necessary to address his fears.

 

[SgtTibbs]

I'm also someone who prefers to "tell the truth." But my husband is quite insistent that we at least keep Santa a secret.
Whatever feels best to you. There is no right or wrong here.

Regarding Santa, the response was and still is,

"Those that believe receive"

Now what was that question you just asked me?

Of course the down side to that is my kids are in their 20's and we still do Santa for them.

 

[bumbershoot]

The answer to that question is simple, its "Well, what do you think?" and then you follow their lead from there.

The fact that they asked means that they already know the answer, but they may or may not choose to suspend their disbelief. Either way, the magic will not be diminished.

Absolutely. Totally. Yes.


I personally was scared of characters as a kid and now I could live my life without them happily. I was also raised without Santa (b/c of my skittishness, a spouse-abusive father who liked to surprise us with visits, and the utter fear of the idea of someone breaking into our home while we slept no matter what he was doing in terms of presents). So I was happy to raise DS without those things. And then (as I just outlined in another thread) he decided he had his own mind and would think his OWN way, and he LOVES characters.

I didn't want to lie to him, but I also didn't want to turn him into an old man when he was 3, so yep, "what do you think?" was the way we went.

I think he was 6 when he noticed a zipper on Mickey. He mentioned it (quietly), then when it was his turn to meet Mickey he ran up into his arms and hugged him tight anyway. Didn't matter at all. Might matter to your kid. If it does, bonus, you don't have to wait in those long character lines!

 

[bumbershoot]

Regarding Santa, the response was and still is,

"Those that believe receive"

Now what was that question you just asked me?

Of course the down side to that is my kids are in their 20's and we still do Santa for them.

You must be my stepmom. My half-sibs are in their 30s and I'm fairly certain they still tell her that they believe so they get gifts.

My mom was happy to play with the myth and give us presents from her and Santa no matter that we didn't believe.

Personally I think my life was more fun than my half-sibs'. (HOW did a single, broke, mom buy presents then hide them in an 800 sq ft house? and how did they get wrapped and hidden when the xmas tree was in a room right off of my room, and I have always been a horrible sleeper? THAT, my friends, was the magic of any season) But then they also had to live with our shared father. Maybe believing in Santa helped them.