Anyone with a family member that is Bipoler

[elismom]

My DS's(11) dad has just been diagnosed with having this.
He does have a history of drug and alcohol abuse.
We havent lived together since DS was a toddler.But he has been in his life except for when he has been in rehap programs.
He has been clean for over 3 years and things seemed to going ok until Nov
he went of his meds and got himself in a lot of trouble.
He is back on them now and is trying to get his life together.
He has no job and will be living in a basement room (he see's DS at our house)
He called me last night (late) to tell me about his new place and how he is going to get his cable hooked up this will cost him 50 dollars a month.
I kind of lost it with him he pays no child suport and I have never asked for any(there was no point)
I work and take care of DS myself
I was trying to tell him there was more important things he could spend his 50 dollars on other cable T.V (manely his child)
He got pissed with me and said he has a right to have what other people have
Sometimes although he is 50 I swear I am dealing with a teenager
Most of the time I just let these things slide I would welcome any advice
Thanks

 

[MidgeD79]

My ds 7 has just been diagnosed. We have a long road ahead of us. Do you have a court order for child support? Let the court be the one to determine what's appropriate and be the bad guy.

 

[JESW]

My DH is bipolar and my DS11 has aspergers. Wish I could tell you that things will get better but that is not always a given. My DH cannot take medication since he had a nightmare with them last september. DS takes abilify but still has major rages. Abilify is supposed to help bipolar. My DH is able to work but he gets stressed about everything. He keeps his thoughts to himself and I don't even feel as if I am married. Yes, bad day here. Sorry that I don't have any advice as bipolar is an awful disease...

Just...

Jill

 

[The Mystery Machine]

At this point, since he has a history of being unstable and really unable to care for himself at best, I would let it go.

Now if he was stable, had money, living well...different story.

You have to accept that he will always be this way and pray that he doesn't get worse, like really worse. He will never be "normal".

DH's mom is paranoid schizophrenic. We had been through the good, bad, and the ugly.

Enjoy the time when they are "good". Focusing on the "bad" when they are "good", does no good for your son in the end.

 

[elismom]

I dont have a court order for child support yet.
I just got full custudy last month and I can denine him seeing Ds if I feel he has gone off his meds and if it is not safe for DS to be around him.
I am very close with his mother and she says she always tried to get help for him when he was young but it was very hard back then.

 

[Forevryoung]

I'm 21 and I have bipolar. I'm sorry your son's father has difficulty taking care of himself. Alcoholism and drug abuse are rather common comorbid disorders with bipolar unfortunately. It tends to severely exacerbate and hide the real issue. These days, medication and therapy can greatly improve quality of life.

Best wishes to you and your son

 

[barkley]

the order for child support is important even if he is not working currently. if he gets unemployment benefits (or ultimatly qualifies in some types of social security disabilty) it can result in automatic payment to your child. and if he files a tax return and is eligible for a refund child support arerages can result in the entire refund going to owed parent.

i feel for you-had a dear supervisor whose son was severe bi-polar and would go off meds, crash and burn. she never could enjoy the times he was doing well because she was always worried about what would be coming soon (he was one that would get back on meds, get a good job, do real well-then he felt he was "cured"-did'nt need the meds and spiral out of control).

hugs to you, your son and ds's grandmom.

 

[Crankyshank]

I do not have any bipolar family members, but I have been in a relationship with someone suffering from it and have several friends with it.

It's really important to take every day as it is and to understand this is a mental illness caused by a chemical imbalance and it is not the sufferer's fault. There's also no cure - in most cases staying on the medication is essential and it's crucial to encourage the person to stay on their meds and to continue medical treatment. But at the same time it's so draining and it really takes a toll on loved ones.

I would get the court order for child support even though he is not employed currently.

 

[HOGFAN]

niece (25) has it. she is on disabilty but is able to work part time. she does really good on her meds but doesnt handle winter and short days very well. I feel really sorry for her because she lives paycheck to paycheck and I think she always will. I think at some point she may have to live in a group home.