Anyone dealing with grief? - a poem for you

[Torontogal]

Hi all,
I lost my dear father 7 months ago to Pancreatic Cancer. It was all very sudden. He passed only 1 month after diagnosis. I miss him very much and it has been very overwhelming. I am haunted by his last days in the hospital and being with him when he passed. I wanted to remember the happy and smiling father I had not the sick one. Some days are alright and others are worse. I know many disers are dealing with grief too and wanted to share this poem I found...

GRIEF IS LIKE A RIVER
By Cinthia G. Kelley

My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
but I myself determine
just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
in waves of guilt and pain,
but there are always quiet pools
where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger;
my faith seems faint indeed,
but there are other swimmers
who know that what I need

Are loving hands to hold me
when the waters are too swift,
and someone kind to listen
when I just seem to drift.

Grief's river is a process
of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in hope's channels,
I'll reach the shore at last.

 

[safetymom]

Thank you. It is so true how grief works.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Beautiful poem...thanks for sharing it with us. It certainly does talk about the stages of grief that one goes through when losing a loved one.. I am sorry about your Dad, Pancreatic Cancer is a nasty cancer that takes our loved ones without rhyme or reason. Hugs.

 

[Torontogal]

Beautiful poem...thanks for sharing it with us. It certainly does talk about the stages of grief that one goes through when losing a loved one.. I am sorry about your Dad, Pancreatic Cancer is a nasty cancer that takes our loved ones without rhyme or reason. Hugs.

You are very welcome. I know you too have had a loved one with this horrible disease. I hope you are doing well Mackey Mouse...

 

[BigDopeyMom]

Torontogal - thank you so much for that poem...I lost my Mom to ALS a little over a year and a half ago...it's so hard to explain and share my feelings with those who have not lost someone so close...having to watch a loved one suffer...the guilt and anger that follows...the grieving process really is best described by that peom and I just wanted to thank you for sharing it.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Father...I wish that I could tell you that it gets easier...but I think you already know that it is a void that can never be filled...and I think we both know that we need to allow ourselves to grieve in whatever way we need to.

Sending you hugs

 

[magicmouse2]

Thankyou

 

[Torontogal]

Torontogal - thank you so much for that poem...I lost my Mom to ALS a little over a year and a half ago...it's so hard to explain and share my feelings with those who have not lost someone so close...having to watch a loved one suffer...the guilt and anger that follows...the grieving process really is best described by that peom and I just wanted to thank you for sharing it.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Father...I wish that I could tell you that it gets easier...but I think you already know that it is a void that can never be filled...and I think we both know that we need to allow ourselves to grieve in whatever way we need to.

Sending you hugs

So sorry to hear about your mother - hugs to you.

 

[dumboiu]

thank you. i just lost my dear, sweet mom two months ago and the pain is tremendous.

 

[julm26]

Thank you - I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer on Feb. 18, 2008. Horrible beast of a cancer...so sorry about your dad...

 

[Lucky'sMom]

I've never been on this board before, but your post caught my eye. My Dad just passed away a month ago. He had been having some stomach pain, went to the hospital, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We were so devasted. The doctor wanted to perform a surgery to bypass the tumor, insert a feeding tube, etc. The surgery itself went well, but one week later (only 2 weeks since diagnosis) he passed away from his lungs filling with fluid. My Mom and I were in the room during that awful straining for breath, and saw him pass. I, too, feel traumitized as we weren't expecting it at that time. I feel so badly for my Mom, alone in that big, old house. It's so hard to know he won't be there anymore when we visit, won't be there for Thanksgiving and Christmas. My parent's 60th anniversary would have been just last week.

 

[Torontogal]

I've never been on this board before, but your post caught my eye. My Dad just passed away a month ago. He had been having some stomach pain, went to the hospital, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We were so devasted. The doctor wanted to perform a surgery to bypass the tumor, insert a feeding tube, etc. The surgery itself went well, but one week later (only 2 weeks since diagnosis) he passed away from his lungs filling with fluid. My Mom and I were in the room during that awful straining for breath, and saw him pass. I, too, feel traumitized as we weren't expecting it at that time. I feel so badly for my Mom, alone in that big, old house. It's so hard to know he won't be there anymore when we visit, won't be there for Thanksgiving and Christmas. My parent's 60th anniversary would have been just last week.

My gosh! I am so sorry. I knowexactly how you feel. Pancreatic cancer is such a beast and moves so fast. My father too had the cancer spread to his lungs and had such a hard time breathing. My mom is alone in a big house and in shock. The pain is devastating. We are trying to be strong for her but also deal with our own pain. Hugs to you.

 

[Deesknee]

thank you.

 

[luvmikids]

Pancreatic cancer is a devastating disease that has a mortality rate of less than 20% survival even after the "surgery" My grandmother died Nov 11, 1993 I was in nursing school at the time. She had the surgery and died one week later. I only wished I knew then what I know now about this cancer. My heart goes out to you all that have encountered this monster.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Day after day, I say why can't they do more. Why isn't there more research done on this cancer? I am blessed to have had 4 years with my husband after his whipple procedure.. we will have that anniversary on Election day this year..

He is in battle again.....not good, and I am scared but I will do battle with him.. Thank you for this poem, I reread every so often, it touches my heart..

Hugs all around to those of us who have lost loved ones to PC and those of us who are still battling.

 

[Lucky'sMom]

Thanks everyone for your support. It's nice to have people to "talk to" that understand the shock and grief of PC. It's amazing how you suddenly become an "expert" on a disease you had barely ever thought about before. I was thinking that when I read about your husband getting the "whipple procedure". I had read all about that before my Dad's surgery. Best wishes to all of you, and strength and prayers to get through each day.

 

[lookingforward]

Thank you! I am missing my mom today and the poem helped.