Any support welcome...adoption thoughts

[damom2daboyz]

Hey everyone

I just wanted to throw this out and see if anyone had any comments or suggestions.

I turned 40 in March and my DH turned 43 in April. Our DSs are 17 and 15, the oldest a senior this year. In the last couple of years it seems that I have been having second thoughts about my decision to never have little children at our ages unless it would be neices or nephews. I have had a thermal eblation so biologically it's not fiesable. I wish and miss the fact that I never had a daughter. I love both of my DSs but I really miss having that Mother/Daughter relationship that I see with my DH and DSs.

My youngest BIL has a 20month old daughter to which I have gotten somewhat close to. (I say somewhat because I have tried to not get attached because of the circumstances with this child). I had mentioned to my DH when my BIL went to jail over a year ago that we should try to adopt her. The biological mother refuses to take care of her but she refuses to give up her rights (she draws a check, food stamps, etc. and don't go there; we've already reported it and no one is doing anything about it).

Point of long story, I have love left to give and I wish that I had a daughter. I have visited many websites and done alot of reading. My question is what if we don't own our home but we have lived here for 7 years? (We don't own because 3 years ago I would have told you that I didn't want to live here for the rest of my life and we pay $275/month for a 3 bedroom house with a huge yard and wonderful landlords). If anyone has any info on renting causing a problem with internationally adopting or more specifically, not passing the home study, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks and sorry so long.

Debbie

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

Bumping for you. Good luck! Wish I could be of more help.

 

[golfgal]

I really don't know the answer but I THINK the qualifications are somewhat different if you are adopting a blood relative. Personally I can't see why it would make a difference but I have never investigated adoption.

 

[Luv'sTink]

When my sister adopted her daughter, 17 years ago (private adoption) they were renting their home.

Last week we started the process of my DH adopting my son, DH has to have a homestudy done but I do not. What they want for the homestudy is;

Last years tax return (make sure we make enough money to support the child we already support!)

A copy of our marriage certificate

A medical form filled out by a doctor for both DH and DS

Step parent questionaire, from both of us

and she will do the interview in her office

All for $375.

You might want to try looking into Foster parenting first, the can ususally tell what children might be up for adoption. A lady I know decided to become a foster parent and the process was suppose to take 3 months and they pushed her through in 2 weeks and had a child in her home the following week.

 

[clh2]

I know many people who have adopted, both relatives, and non-relatives. Can't answer the question you have about whether on not renters will be qualified, but I can give you my "gut-level" reaction to this. The qualifications for adoption should be based far more on the likelihood that you will be able to love and care for the child, economically support the child, and give the child a stable environment.

Many people rent for many different reasons. Some don't want the responsibility of the maintenance, others, like you have a fabulous renting situation, for a great deal. Others may live in a large city where home ownership is just difficult (i.e. NYC).

I would think that the people doing the home visit would be far more concerned about renters moving every couple of months, job-hopping etc.

There are many, many children who need loving homes, I think it is wonderful that you are considering adding to your family.

Good Luck with your decision.

 

[Al and Kate's Mom]

I don't have anything to add except my best wishes and kudos to you!

 

[hiwaygal]

Hi...I don't have any advice either, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck no matter what!

 

[Missamoncus]

Hi, My husband and I adopted from China in 2002 through Harrah's Adoption International Mission out of Houston and are now adoption advocates . Renting is just fine. It shouldn't cause you any problems. Every country has different requirements, but I am unaware of any country that requires you to own your home. I would be happy to help you guys in any way I can. P.M. me any questions and If I don't know, I will make some phone calls and find out. The process can be daunting, but the rewards are well worth it!

Melissa

 

[damom2daboyz]

Thanks to everyone who responded! This was the only issue I couldn't quite find info on.

I'm starting to go through all of our paperwork stuff to locate tax papers, marriage cerificate, etc. I'm so nervous but hopeful.

My DH and I love children; ours are very spoiled (in the good sense). I will be on dayshift now at the hospital since my DH is out of town 4-5 days/week. We have alot of what we consider positives to offer any child but the biggest we have is love. Our DSs have followed in our temperment footsteps and would love a little addition to spoil too. Of course we would have to instill Disney in our new addition's world!!

Again...thanks everyone. Here's to hoping that prayers will be answered.

Debbie