Any friends of Bill or Lois?

[liv4pixiedust]

Almost a year ago, I discovered that someone very close to me is an opiate addict. He went for detox and rehab in June '07, and did well for a few months. Then the long slow slide into relapse started. Things started coming to a head in December, and he disappeared for 3 days just before Christmas. Since returning, he went back into treatment and seems to be doing well again.

I discovered Al-anon a few days after I discovered the addiction, and the fellowship and understanding of the groups has saved me.

But I still have so many challenges, and sometimes I don't know how to keep myself going. Sometimes I want to run away and pretend, just for a little while, that this isn't my life.

But instead, I'm learning to accept life as it is rather than how I wish it could be or think it should be.

Maybe this is an inappropriate subject for this board, but I thought I'd see if there were anyone else out there with similar experiences.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Absolutely, this is not inappropriate for these boards... this is what these boards are for. Sometimes though people are hesitant to respond to these threads as anonymity is key with AA... Hopefully some will come forward and share with you....but I want you to know that these boards are about illnesses, feelings, caregivers, patients... and you fit that bill....discussing your friend's illness...

 

[Jcricket Fan]

The cycle of addiction effects so many more people then the "one" who has the addiction. Thankfully over the recent past (within the last 20yrs.) there has been recognition of the effects of codependence.

I know how difficult this road is. Hang in and hang on.

What a comfort to know that each day does in fact bring a new hope of change!

Peace.
Colleen

 

[Deesknee]

I am a friend of Bill and Lois. I am blessed to be counted amongst them.

I once heard it said something like this.. I love someone who is addicted to alcohol, and I am addicted to that someone. Neither is healthy.

That was me. I was addicted to trying to solve other peoples issues. I thank my God, that thru that I realized I had my own addiction to deal with. I still very much love that person, they are not clean or sober. I still love them. Like watching my children try to walk on their own & fall and get bumps and bruises, I let my love one fall on his own. I just walk my self & try not to fall. Today I love two addicts....my loved one and me.

Best of luck to you & your loved one. Yes, it is difficult to come on this board & let everyone know. I thought of using a different name. But today I am clean sober & able to walk upright & let my loved one try to do the same. I have no need to justify how long I have been sober. Today is enough. I pray tomorrow wil be too.

I have friends on here who I have had conversations with regarding having dinner & a drink, or romantic bottle & candle light. This is the main reason I hesitated on using my own name. I have never said to be the one enjoying the drink or what kind of bottle it may have been. If I have listened to a night you have enjoyed, if I have laughed a long, it has not been in judgement or pretense. I hope I have not offended anyone or made them uncomfortable. I can remember when a warm breeze, a candle, and a glass of wine was a romantic night. I can enjoy the moment others may be living. I just don't find it romantic or enjoyable for me any longer. I wish I could. So I love and enjoy the fact others can, and that I can find other ways of enjoying romance and life.

I agree with Marsha this is a place for all heavy hearted issues. This certainly falls with in that category.

I hope by one or two of us responding perhaps others will join in. Be strong.

Dee

 

[A Mickeyfan]

opiates are evil.. they can take away your loved ones... While many feel addictions are something that one can control and one should be held accountable for their actions.. to a certain degree that is true, but on the same token, by the time it becomes an addiction, they can no longer be held accountable.. it is beyond their control The evil has taken them and they are sick.. so yes, this is a topic that belongs here and if anyone feels other wise, they do not understand the sickness that comes with this....