Another wwyd teacher situation

[luvmy3jewels]

I know this subject is a common one, but my dh and I are having a little bit of a disagreement on handle this issue and need some "outside" advice. Dh is a professor in education, so I usually rely upon his expertise on school issues. However, I'm don't really agree with him this time so I thought I'd ask here for opinions.

DD is in fourth grade and is an excellent student (usually). In past years she has had really great teachers who were always corresponding with parents and sending home all of their work that had been completed. This year she has a teacher for social studies and reading that is new to their school. We've had a few concerns because we are seeing very little completed/graded work sent home and have been wondering what dd is learning in class. We've talked to a few other parents who share the same concerns. I have also heard that the teacher has several students who have discipline problems and she is having a difficult time managing the classroom. I know that a couple of parents have complained to the principal and one parent pulled her dd out this week to homeschool because of her concerns about the teacher.

Apparently the principal has asked their AIG teacher to assist the teacher with her classroom duties. (I only know this from what my dd has told me.) The AIG teacher is very old school and is not very well liked by the kids and most of the parents, primarily because the way she treats/talks to her students. She tends to be very arrogant and condescending.

Yesterday, I was sent an e-mail from the AIG teacher that said my daugther has recently not been turning in all of her extra homework for AIG and her work has gotten sloppy. It was a suprise to us, but dh and I talked to dd last night about it and we will address that problem immediately.

What was more concerning was the rest of the message which was essentially a passive aggressive assualt on the social studies/reading teacher and how she (the AIG teacher) was now turning that class around.

Dh and I were very upset by the lack of professionalism the AIG teacher displayed in her e-mail to us towards her colleague. Dh prepared a response e-mail that says we will take care of the problem with dd. But he went on to say "The second issue is with your comments about Ms. **. Frankly, I find it totally unacceptable that you have demeaned a colleague to parents in an email. Any concerns that Mr. *** (the principal) has with his faculty are personnel issues that, in my view, are not your responsibility to share with parents. I have been a teacher in the district, and I would have been extremely angry if one of my colleagues openly discussed my shortcomings with parents, particularly if that teacher was assigned to help me. Ms. ** seems to be a caring and well meaning teacher and she deserves better than to be thrown “under the bus” by you.

I have told dh not to send this, because I think it is too harsh. We will have to continue to have a relationship with the AIG teacher for the next five years and I don't want to completely burn any bridges. How should we handle this situation?

 

[java]

I'm with you on this one. Just respond to address the issues with your daughter- ignore the rest of her email. (But print it out to have a copy should you need it down the road - for what I don't know but I like a paper trail.)

 

[dzorn]

Honestly I have not problem with the response.

She was totally unprofessional and I would BCC the principal on it.

Denise in MI

 

[agnes!]

I would adjust the e-mail, cc the principal, attach Ms. Old-School's offending e-mail and send something along the lines of the following:
"The second issue is with your comments about Ms. **. Any concerns that Mr. *** (the principal) has with his faculty are personnel issues that, in my view, are not a teacher's responsibility to share with parents."
Your DH is too close to the situation and, in my opinion, is experiencing a bit of misplaced anger by putting himself in the place of your DS's main teacher. He's doing exactly what he is accusing the old-school teacher of doing, he denigrates Ms. Old-School. His word-choice is completely inflammatory, using words like "I would have been extremely angry", "I find it totally unacceptable", "she deserves better than to be thrown 'under the bus' by you". If you do decide to send an e-mail, just stick to the bare facts, the principal should be able to read between the lines and after all, it is HIS/HER school to run.

agnes!

 

[Brit17]

I would adjust the e-mail, cc the principal, attach Ms. Old-School's offending e-mail and send something along the lines of the following:
"The second issue is with your comments about Ms. **. Any concerns that Mr. *** (the principal) has with his faculty are personnel issues that, in my view, are not a teacher's responsibility to share with parents."
Your DH is too close to the situation and, in my opinion, is experiencing a bit of misplaced anger by putting himself in the place of your DS's main teacher. He's doing exactly what he is accusing the old-school teacher of doing, he denigrates Ms. Old-School. His word-choice is completely inflammatory, using words like "I would have been extremely angry", "I find it totally unacceptable", "she deserves better than to be thrown 'under the bus' by you". If you do decide to send an e-mail, just stick to the bare facts, the principal should be able to read between the lines and after all, it is HIS/HER school to run.

agnes!

ITA ... perfect ...

 

[amandaluvsgoofy]

I also agree with Agnes! This shows the situation without the teacher having any ammo against your DH for whatever reason.
Hope it all works out ok!

 

[happygirl]

I would ignore it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'm with you on this one. Just respond to address the issues with your daughter- ignore the rest of her email. (But print it out to have a copy should you need it down the road - for what I don't know but I like a paper trail.)

I agree. It's more telling of the teacher that sent the e-mail than of the teacher she maligned.

 

[shirleyb]

I would ignore it. NOYB

 

[robinb]

I would ignore it. I think it will make more of a problem for your daughter if your DH either slams the AIG teacher directly or tries to get the her in trouble with the principal. I'm not condoning what she wrote, but I think that it will cause more harm than good in trying to "correct" the teacher.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would ignore it. I think it will make more of a problem for your daughter if your DH either slams the AIG teacher directly or tries to get the her in trouble with the principal. I'm not condoning what she wrote, but I think that it will cause more harm than good in trying to "correct" the teacher.

Yes and the DD would bear the brunt of it. It would be different if it were just between adults. But it's not.

ETA- Reading and eating. I see you said the same thing now. Sorry.

 

[disney junky]

nothing. some teachers have an odd way about them. let it go.

 

[Pigeon]

I'm entirely with your husband on this one.

 

[Pumbaa_]

I would instead send it to the prinicipal - tell him you are concerned about what is going on in the classrom and let him handle it

 

[luvmy3jewels]

It has been interesting reading all of the varied responses to my situation. I have talked with dh and he agrees he was very harsh in his response. He said it made him feel better just writing it and I can change his message in any way I see fit. I think he just wants to let the AIG teacher know it isn't OK to trash a colleague to parents. Going to the principal with this will do no good because he is basically spineless and lets people do whatever they want. He's retiring at the end of this year.

Dh's frustration is a culmination of a lot of issues we, and many other parents, have had with this particular teacher. It seems like she is a bully to anyone that she percieves is weaker than her, including kids, parents and other teachers. I don't think she is going to change anytime soon and I can't see her retiring.

Dh and I have begun to seriously question whether we should pull our kids out of AIG because of the issues that we see. However, it's one of those situations where we may have to take the bad with the good since being in the program does help to keep the kids challenged.

Thanks to all that responded!!

 

[llij]

I agree with your husband.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I know this subject is a common one, but my dh and I are having a little bit of a disagreement on handle this issue and need some "outside" advice. Dh is a professor in education, so I usually rely upon his expertise on school issues. However, I'm don't really agree with him this time so I thought I'd ask here for opinions.

DD is in fourth grade and is an excellent student (usually). In past years she has had really great teachers who were always corresponding with parents and sending home all of their work that had been completed. This year she has a teacher for social studies and reading that is new to their school. We've had a few concerns because we are seeing very little completed/graded work sent home and have been wondering what dd is learning in class. We've talked to a few other parents who share the same concerns. I have also heard that the teacher has several students who have discipline problems and she is having a difficult time managing the classroom. I know that a couple of parents have complained to the principal and one parent pulled her dd out this week to homeschool because of her concerns about the teacher.

Apparently the principal has asked their AIG teacher to assist the teacher with her classroom duties. (I only know this from what my dd has told me.) The AIG teacher is very old school and is not very well liked by the kids and most of the parents, primarily because the way she treats/talks to her students. She tends to be very arrogant and condescending.

Yesterday, I was sent an e-mail from the AIG teacher that said my daugther has recently not been turning in all of her extra homework for AIG and her work has gotten sloppy. It was a suprise to us, but dh and I talked to dd last night about it and we will address that problem immediately.

What was more concerning was the rest of the message which was essentially a passive aggressive assualt on the social studies/reading teacher and how she (the AIG teacher) was now turning that class around.

Dh and I were very upset by the lack of professionalism the AIG teacher displayed in her e-mail to us towards her colleague. Dh prepared a response e-mail that says we will take care of the problem with dd. But he went on to say "The second issue is with your comments about Ms. **. Frankly, I find it totally unacceptable that you have demeaned a colleague to parents in an email. Any concerns that Mr. *** (the principal) has with his faculty are personnel issues that, in my view, are not your responsibility to share with parents. I have been a teacher in the district, and I would have been extremely angry if one of my colleagues openly discussed my shortcomings with parents, particularly if that teacher was assigned to help me. Ms. ** seems to be a caring and well meaning teacher and she deserves better than to be thrown “under the bus” by you.

I have told dh not to send this, because I think it is too harsh. We will have to continue to have a relationship with the AIG teacher for the next five years and I don't want to completely burn any bridges. How should we handle this situation?

I thought about your post and if your DH wants to address the unprofessional issue, you do it face to face, with the principal and AIG teacher in private.

NEVER EVER EVER send ANYTHING in writing unless you want to hung by it.

ETA...While I know people don't care for this teacher it is unfair to not get her a forum to respond back to you.

Sending email is like an attack on someone and this would be "unprofessional behavior" from your dh.

It goes both ways.