Another WDW vacation with the in laws!

Discussion in 'Budget Board' started by ceecee, Jul 8, 2006.

  1. ceecee

    ceecee DIS Veteran

    Apr 6, 2001
    I just found out my BIL/SIL and their niece will be joining us at WDW again! 7th year in a row. The problem is they think they are above everything and everyone! SIL told me they normally don't associate with the type of people who stay at the AS! (Which is where I booked the first year...that's US!!) I asked what she meant and she said everyone is dressed in tee shirts, no one dresses for dinner! I made sure we all had matching tees to wear everyday of our trip since then! :rotfl: They complain about everything and my niece who is 7 told DD who is 9 that her dad told her even though she is 2 years younger she is smarter since she is in a gifted program! Even though DD has also tested gifted in the state tests she did not say a word...she told me that hurt her feelings. She tries to share candy with her cousin and she is not allowed to eat candy, they don't like her swimming in public pools (as they have their own). I make all our PS and then they ask my niece what park she wants to go to and it ruins all of our plans. We didn't even get to AK last year because she threw a fit and wanted to go to MK. She only wants to ride Space Mountain and since her parents won't, she knows I will...9 times in one day last time! Once is enough for me. Even DD put her foot down and said no more of this ride. DH's family all live in FL and never visit us (who wants to come to OH?) So they all meet us one weekend (1-2 lost park days!). Is it wrong to want a family vacation with just our family? Even when DH visists during the year, they still meet us at WDW. SIL said last year, it was not educational enough for their DD, so this year they took her to Washington, DC...but they still plan to come to WDW this year. We are only going for 7 days (we still take DD out of school) and they usually come for 4-5 days of it! I am not looking forward to it! HELP!
  2. ntburns22

    ntburns22 DIS Veteran

    Apr 13, 2005
    Is there anyway you could suggest "Family Days" so you can have time alone? I do give you alot of credit I could never go with my SIL/BIL.
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  4. minnie1928

    minnie1928 WDW addict

    Feb 16, 2004
    I don't have any good advice, but I do have a LOT of sympathy for you. :wizard:

    My inlaws drove me nuts and came REALLY close to joining us one year, it was the worst vacation I could think of. Thankfully, they changed their minds :cheer2: !

    Good luck! :wave2:
  5. Kae

    Kae DIS Veteran

    Oct 21, 2002
    :grouphug: I would let them know know ahead of time that you have your plans set for this trip & you would love to do a few meals with them & maybe some fireworks & parades. give them your plans & if they choose to follow along so be it. :wizard: Now here is some Pixie dust & i hopes it works but having gone with family before I am crossing my fingers for you. And at the very least you are teaching your DD good manners & how to go with the flow.

  6. ceecee

    ceecee DIS Veteran

    Apr 6, 2001
    We faxed them our itinerary last year for what it was worth. I made 2 PS for 6 for table serve places since they didn't think it was necessary (those were the only ones they could go to with us) then we end up making a time to meet and split up, we waited over an hour last time and they did other things besides eat. We do get to go to MNSSHP without them, because my niece is afraid of fireworks! We told them we were going to AK last year and my niece cried for an hour to go to MK (wasted park time!), so they said we have to go to MK and DH agreed. He is wishy washy with all of it and has yet to say anything, I can see he wants to see his brother (they are very UNidentical twins), maybe I should invite my sister and see how he likes it.
  7. tarheelmjfan

    tarheelmjfan <font color=red>Proud Redhead<br><font color=blue>

    May 10, 2001
    I agree that you should stick to your plans & they can come along if they choose. As long as you give in, they're going to continue to dictate your vacation. If you & your DH decide that you'll no longer allow them to, they'll just have to deal with it. They'll either get over it, or stop coming to WDW to meet you every year.

    Do they live close to Orlando? We live in Tampa & that can put all involved in an awkward position. Relatives feel they can't come that close, & not make time to see us. We feel it wouldn't be right for us to refuse. So, we go to meet them & do whatever it is that they had planned. If your inlaws live close to Orlando, they can visit anytime. They shouldn't interfere with your plans. They can join in, if they choose. I'm sure they wouldn't want you to join in on their next vacation & decide you didn't want to do any of the things they originally planned.

    I'm usually one of those people who gives into everyone else. However, if this is a yearly occurrence & they always get their way, I think you've given in enough.
  8. Lollipop's Mom

    Lollipop's Mom <font color=teal>Special trip with your little one

    Feb 26, 2004
    Why did you even tell them you were going? I would have kept it a secret that you were even going until the day before and claim you 'just decided' to go at the last minute and are being spontaneous.
    Also, why are you letting a 7 year old rule what YOUR family does? If she doesn't want to go to AK, say 'Ok, we are going to head to AK for the day - have fun over at MK and we will see you this evening'. Simple as that. It sounds like you have some troubles standing up for what your family wants. I think you seem intimidated or something. Don't be afraid to stand up and say "Well I have had enough space mountain for to....". I would also tell them ahead of time that as much as you love spending time with them, you need some quality family time alone because you haven't had much lately due to work, school and other commitments.
    Just stand up for your family.
  9. mjbaby

    mjbaby DIS Veteran

    Jun 27, 2004
    Saying this respect...really...I know that sometimes things can "read" to be flame-ish when they're not at all meant that way...

    I don't think your problem is with the in-laws. Your problem is with your husband and internally within yourself. These people run roughshod all over your family because they've learned that they can. Make your ressies and make your plans and them and enjoy. Sure, you'll need to meet them halfway on some stuff, but surely not on everything!!!!! Swim in the pools, wear unmatching t-shirts, heck, *lick* the sidewalk if you want - if they get mad and start avoiding you, well, problem solved. And if sticking to your guns about being treated well alienates your husband then *that* is a problem for a counselor to help with, but it isn't your in-laws' fault, you know?
  10. Lorikr65

    Lorikr65 Lorikr65

    Jul 18, 2005
    We've been to Disney 8 times, 6 of which were with family members. This year we made our reservations and agreed not to tell any other family members. Or if someone asks if we are going this year we will say we aren't sure yet. I just want to spend time with my family and not worry that the others aren't having fun or that they really wanted to go to a different park.
  11. stczt

    stczt DIS Veteran

    Jun 27, 2005
    My opinion is Your husband chose you when you married, Now you are his "high-prioity" family, siblings parents and cousins come 2nd to my kids and dh. My best frind lives in ormond beach, Dh's 2 brothers live in the orlado area. We never stay with them. I will visit them other times. But I dont even tell them we are in florida. They will want to get together and I flat say no, this is the 1 time a year we make special for the 5 of us. We dont answer our cell phones if it's important enough they will leave a message then I decide if its important enough to return.
    AS far as a 7 yearold choosing what to do, I would never allow my child to cause problems for so many other people. My kids know now I decide and I'll ask there oipnion, but for now as long as i am paying its my way or the highway.
    Sending yoiu a hus as you try to plan :grouphug:
  12. susan4875

    susan4875 Earning My Ears

    Jun 20, 2006
    Why not try and involve them in the planning? Instead of faxing them 'your' itinerary, make one together. That way, each day you have a plan that you've agreed on and there will be no guilt in sticking to it. If one of their children has a fit, they can deal with it while you stick to the itinerary. If they're late to meeting, you can move on your way, because you've agreed to the time and place.

    Also, this might help identify different goals early on. If there's things you would like to do that they do not (or vice versa), you can build "family time" into the plan so that everyone is happy and gets to do what they want.
  13. babiesX2

    babiesX2 DIS Veteran<br><font color=green>There is nothing

    Aug 15, 2005
    I'd rather pack my bags for a trip to HELL!
  14. btass

    btass DIS Veteran

    Apr 27, 2004
    I don't get it ~ you just "found out" that BIL/SIL are coming on your vacation? They just invited themselves?! If they think they are not the type of people to stay at AS, they are completely wrong! People from polite society would never invite themselves on someone else's vacation. Tell them to go jump in there own pool and get all wet!
  15. JoiseyMom

    JoiseyMom <font color=orange>Have you had your SPANX today??

    Nov 5, 2003
    Tell your DH that you have your itinerary set, and if his brother and family want to do something different, they are free to do so, and DH is free to join them, but you and DD are sticking to your plans. Then do it. Wave goodbye to them and you and DD go on your merry way. I am sure DH will join you, if not, you and DD will have some great quality time!!

    Also share your ADR's with sil, and tell if she wants to eat at any of those restaurants, she is free to call them and make her own ADR's for that time frame.

    Do not go out of your way for them. IF they are supposed to meet up with you and don't, wait 5 - 10 minutes and leave. Tell them if you aren't there when they get there, that you just went ahead without them. You have nothing to lose! Sil may not be happy, but you will be!!

    Enjoy your vacation!!
  16. dnoyes

    dnoyes DIS Veteran

    Nov 10, 2001
    We had to tell my mil/fil that we needed time alone on OUR vacation. It took about two weeks but they got over it. I felt bad about it because they are great people but my wife and I both work full time jobs and just need some time alone with our kids.

    ceecee, this is what we did on our last trip with my bil/sil and thier kids. By the second night of the trip we were feeling the "tension" of trying to please everybody in the party, so we just decided to go our own ways and meet up later at a pool or food court. It worked out great because everyone would tell the tales of their day and what they liked and so on. To this day whenever we talk about that trip we always agree that was the best way to handle it.

    This sept will be our 5th trip to the world and only the 2nd without family.
  17. DisneyMomJen

    DisneyMomJen DIS Veteran

    May 13, 2004
  18. TnTWalter

    TnTWalter DIS Veteran

    Sep 13, 2005
    You deserve a nice family vacation. I just would tell them afterwards and say it was a last minute trip and you didn't want to impose on them. Yada yada.

  19. ceecee

    ceecee DIS Veteran

    Apr 6, 2001
    DH's sister and brother have both asked when we are going and he said he wasn't sure, since we always go the last week in September (our anniversary) they already fiqured and he confirmed it, so it's too late. So BIL says they will be coming too (oh, joy!). Since they won't do ADRs I guess we will just go with what we have. I don't even feel the magic! Something always happens and it's too stressful. One year I fell on their stroller when I stepped backward and broke SIL's "expensive" sunglasses! I never heard the end of it! Last year DD offered her cousin candy and BIL accused her of stealing it (I helped her pay). She intentionally bought something cheap so she could get two and share! Of course we have to hear about all of their expensive purchases (I have said I really don't care too many times to mention). DD wants to spend time with her cousin, so us going our way and DH going theirs isn't an option. I guess I could do WDW alone, of course then I would be the one with the problem.
    We even suggested they meet us halfway (Gatlinburg) one year, so we could have our own vacation, but that is not a place they would want to go.
  20. ~Kathie

    ~Kathie Tinker Bell Fanatic

    Jan 2, 2000
    We travel with family members often and it can get pretty hairy at times, to WDW and we have traveled with them on cruises.

    We have a rule that we "don't have to be the Bobbsey twins" (2 sets of twins that had a series of children's adventure books in the 60's). Everyone can do their own thing.

    I would make your plans and tell them "this is what "We" are doing. You are welcome to come along.......or if you want to go to the MK we'll catch up with you for dinner of see you tomorrow."

    Good luck.
  21. bobcat

    bobcat <font color=magenta>I had a horrible case two year

    Aug 19, 1999

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