Another Birthday party question...

[Microcell]

My dd6 was invited to a birthday party that involves swimming and she is not a strong swimmer. It is also at the home of people I don't know. I wonder what to do, because I do not expect anyone, especially someone I don't know to be taking special interest in caring about where my dd is at all times like I would. To further confuse things, I feel strange about letting her go to a party by herself with people I have never even met. Do I just decline? Should I ask if it is okay if I come with her? Help!

 

[Pop Daddy]

drop her off, come inside and check everything out, then let your kid have fun

 

[MosMom]

Most parties I go to have parents at them. It is not unusual for the parents to hang around and stay at the party. Often the parent hosting the event feels grateful to have a little backup too. I would go and then just stick around.

 

[powellrj]

most of the time when kids are that age and at peoples homes, parents will stay. The only times I didn't stay when they were that age was when it was at someones home I knew well.

 

[wilderness01]

Stay at the party. If I couldn't stay, my child wouldn't stay. I don't always feel like this, actually practically never. But if it is around a body of water and the child is not a strong swimmer then it is necessary for you to stay to avoid a possible accident. Why don't you call the parent and tell her your concerns. I have a pool and I would appreciate if someone stayed to watch their own child. It would take the pressure off of me. Good luck.

 

[Mimi Q]

When my older DD was that age, most all the parents stayed during the birthday parties she attended. I always welcomed parents to stay when we hosted a parties, so I think I would stay especially since it is a swimming party.

 

[Microcell]

Thanks, I think I will call and express my concerns and hope they are okay with me staying. I figure I will offer to help out with a stong suggestion that I stay if they don't immediately offer that. Usually with people I know they are as protective as I am and require the parent stay at a swimming party. One mom laughs at me all the time because she had a party at the YMCA and required a parent join their kid in the pool and I had to divulge it was my time of the month so I would rather be on the ready to jump in if needed. I just always think about that Tommy Lee party where no one discovered the kid at the bottom of the pool till mom and dad came to get their child! I am glad I am not alone in my protectiveness.

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

I'd stay at the party. Shouldn't be a problem.
However, you might want to ask if they are hiring a Life guard, or someone who will be responsible to watch all children in the pool during the party.
We did this for DD's 6th. It was a neighbor who happened to be a qualified life guard. She volunteered her time as a present to DD. It was great, because as the person hosting the party, I couldn't possibly keep a eye on all the children. You never realise how busy you are taking care of party needs, answering the door, saying goodbye's etc.
I think appointing one person to only sit by the pool and watch all the swimming at parties is a great idea!

 

[mom2boys]

If it were just a backyard party at someone's home, I would say talk to the parents & if you feel comfortable. However, with a pool involved, all bets are off. There is no way I would leave. I wouldn't leave my 9 yr old at a pool party and he's been taking swimming lessons at the Y since Sept.

I just always think about that Tommy Lee party where no one discovered the kid at the bottom of the pool till mom and dad came to get their child!

The Nanny stayed at that party with Tommy Lee's child & she didn't notice the child was missing until it was too late.

 

[Microcell]

About the Tommy Lee thing I stand corrected! Still, I want to be there if at all possible. I guess I would be okay if there is a lifeguard. Thank you all for your point of view. I tend to think I am overly cautious about everything so I wanted to be sure I was not out of line. I don't really want DD out oof my sight in her own backyard!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Originally posted by mom2boys
If it were just a backyard party at someone's home, I would say talk to the parents & if you feel comfortable. However, with a pool involved, all bets are off. There is no way I would leave. I wouldn't leave my 9 yr old at a pool party and he's been taking swimming lessons at the Y since Sept. The Nanny stayed at that party with Tommy Lee's child & she didn't notice the child was missing until it was too late.

ITA with you, mom2boys. And if I were the mom hosting that party, I would WANT a parent to watch each child.

I am planning a b-party for DS6 and DS4 at the community pool we belong to. I will be required to hire an extra lifeguard-that's great, but I will also write a note on each invitation that a parent should accompany their child for swimming. Why take any chances???? There will be enough cake and pizza for everyone, heck, I'm even going to invite siblings to cover that thread, too...!

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I agree with Yzma and Kronk.

My best friend always has swim parties. One year a little girl went down the slide and couldn't swim. Luckily, one of the fathers got to her while she was struggling. I told my friend,who didn't see any of this, that she needed to get a lifeguard next time. She hired two lifeguards for the next swim party.

I would stay because lifeguards can't see everything.

Lori

 

[Lewski709]

Well I am sure I will surprise a lot of you with this (see another non attended child at community pool rant), but I would want to be there. I wouldn't drop my child off and leave. I would advise a lifeguard or two for that party. In fact, when people have pool parties at the Y, there are 2 lifeguards and depending on the ability and age of the party, they may be required to wear safety devices and stay in the shallow end.

 

[vald1977]

I agree that you should stay at the party.

When I was six years old I almost drowned at a birthday party held at a lake. I was on one of those floaties when it tipped over. After what seemed like an eternity, one of the adults noticed me struggling and jumped in and pulled me out.

Now I don't even let my ds go in pools or other bodies of water unless I am in there with him within arm's reach.

 

[Kimberle]

We go to a LOT of swimming parties. All the parents stay & go in the pool w/ their kid. Only a couple can swim well enough to go alone from our crowd.

Though it's not noted on the invite, I bet they assume you'll stay.

I'd call.

Have a great time!

 

[kadaten]

Originally posted by wilderness01
Stay at the party. If I couldn't stay, my child wouldn't stay. I don't always feel like this, actually practically never. But if it is around a body of water and the child is not a strong swimmer then it is necessary for you to stay to avoid a possible accident. Why don't you call the parent and tell her your concerns. I have a pool and I would appreciate if someone stayed to watch their own child. It would take the pressure off of me. Good luck.

Exactly what I was going to say!

 

[Nutsy]

Yeah, I'd just call them & explain your concerns & ask if they'd mind if you stayed on. I'd say they would be happy to have you. Like most other posters have said, at that age, parents do tend to stay.

 

[HollyJoy]

I would stay! If the parents don't want you there, then I wouldn't leave my kid! I won't leave either of my girls at a party if I don't know the parents or feel comfortable with them.... especially a swimming party!

 

[trishy]

I would think the parents would be glad if you stayed. An extra parent at a pool party is a godsend. I wouldn't trust it without knowing all of the details. If they have a problem with you staying, I'd decline the invitation.

 

[Kallison]

When my kids were that age I used to hire a lifeguard during parties. Even with parents around, everyone gets preoccupied talking. If my child was not a strong swimmer at that age -- I would definitely stay unless a professional guard was on duty. Remember what happened at Tommie Lee's house.

Last summer at my DD's 9th party, one of the girls started floundering in the deep end, turns out the kids can't swim a stroke. The mother never told me, I was livid. I felt bad, she had to sit in the low end while all the kdis were doing diving games at the deep end. The Mom is such a ditz, she thought when I said swimming I meant a baby pool and never even asked or warned me. I watch my kids, but I don't sit there counting heads every two seconds like I used to, I'll go in the kitchen get drinks, listen and watch out the window. If a child can't swim I want a parent there.