Anniversary Question....

[LiLIrishChick63]

I have a question for those of you who are married, or if you celebrate some sort of anniversary with your SO.

do you "celebrate" other people's anniversaries?? and if you don't tell someone "Happy Anniversary" do they get angry with you?

my DH's family feels the need to "celebrate" our anniversary with us every year and i feel like it's not really something THEY need to be celebrating. i mean, DH and i still do something with just the two of us, but i really don't feel like we need to celebrate with the rest of the family. i know it's a nice gesture, but i keep telling my DH "maybe we should tell them we just want to celebrate, together? no one else." and his reasoning is "you want to turn down free food!?"

and also, my mother will get angry with me if i don't call her up on HER wedding anniversary and give her an anniversary card. and she feels the need to call me at least 5 times on MY anniversary until i answer the phone to tell me "happy anniversary" and then gets angry that i "didn't answer the first time"

she used to make me call my sister on her wedding anniversary, but her and i haven't spoken in years so luckily i don't have to continue with that.

is this normal?? i've never heard of anyone else celebrating their anniversaries with their families, and then making it a point to call someone up and tell them "Happy Anniversary" i always thought it was just something for you and your SO to celebrate??

 

[vettechick99]

It must depend on the person. We never celebrated my parents anny so I don't celebrate anyone elses. But DHs mom gets upset if she forgets to send us a card or call us on our anniversary day. We have forgotten theirs several times - DH just doesn't remember it!

I personally feel it's a personal "holiday" but I guess it depends on how you grow up.

I do like the idea of parents celebrating their anniversary with their kids. It really honors marriage and sticking together through all the tough times.

 

[krcit]

I will certainly say 'Happy Anniversary' to someone if I know it's their anniversary but I don't celebrate it with them or vice versa. My mom and MIL will usually send us a card on ours. Both FIL and my dad are deceased so I don't send cards to MIL and Mom.

 

[Handbag Lady]

My sister and I threw our parents a 25th Wedding Anniversary surprise party and then they divorced three years later.


So, no, we don't. My husband and I do send a card to our friends on their wedding anniversary because it was a wedding with six people atttending, and we were two of them. It was at the top of a dome in Yosemite (Kinda hard to forget that one!)

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't know why, but we buy my parents an anniversary card AND gift, and my sister and I have done this our whole lives. They buy us a gift, too!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I have a question for those of you who are married, or if you celebrate some sort of anniversary with your SO.

do you "celebrate" other people's anniversaries??

Only if they're buying the booze.

and if you don't tell someone "Happy Anniversary" do they get angry with you?

Well, my parents sometimes act miffed that I didn't send them a card or whatever.

i keep telling my DH "maybe we should tell them we just want to celebrate, together? no one else." and his reasoning is "you want to turn down free food!?"

Well is the booze free too? I'm kinda with your DH on this one. How about making a desireable counter offer like, "I can't feed you homemade brownies in a teddy with our family looking on."

and she feels the need to call me at least 5 times on MY anniversary until i answer the phone to tell me "happy anniversary" and then gets angry that i "didn't answer the first time"

I'd probably just answer the first time, and say "Thanks mom, I gotta get back to work now."

 

[The Mystery Machine]

High maintenance.

Eh, we don't pay that much attention to anniversaries. I find it funny that my dh's mom sends us a card every yr. and dh and I don't even buy each other one.

We did throw my parents a 40th anniversary party.

 

[golfgal]

On our first anniversary we went out of town with some friends, he was the best man in our wedding, she was the woman we invited to our wedding to introduce TO our best man (they have been married for 15 years now ). We went to an alumni thing from college that happened to fall on our anniversary weekend. That is the closest thing we have come to celebrating our anniversary with anyone else and we have been married for 20 years.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

we don't celebrate others' anniversaries, nor does anyone celebrate with us. My parents usually wish us a happy anniversary and vice versa, but I feel like an anniversary should be celebrated among the people whose wedding it is celebrating, not really anyone else...unless they specifically want to celebrate with others...it should not be forced upon them.

 

[Wishing on a star]

OMG, they sound like my inlaws...

Everything, even my DH and My anniversary, had to be all about them...

Ummmm, no I do not want to celebrate my marriage anniversary with my beloved DH by spending it with MIL...

We never really fell for it and started any celebration with them... But, they did mention it.

You need to tell your DH that this 'free food' takes a LOT away from your desire to make your Anniversary a special thing just for the two of you.

If your DH actually insists on celebrating YOUR anniversary with HIS family... now that is a whole different issue!

Anyhow, OP, I'm with you!

 

[Wishing on a star]

PS: about the earlier posts, regarding sending cards, or even a phone call...

IMHO, a card or a phone call to the couple is not 'celebrating' their anniversary with them.

A card or a phone call is a nicety, a wonderful gesture.
But, I don't think that is what the OP is talking about.

 

[crz4mm2]

We celebrated my folk's 25th (both 2nd marriage for them) and my Inlaw's 50th anniversary. No big party, just dinner, cake, you know.

We celebrated our 30th with BFF and kids last year.

No, we don't celebrate everything with everyone. My In laws are very good. They send us a card every year I am not nearly as good!
I am trying though. DS got married a couple of years ago and I try and at least send them a card.

 

[tinkerfan1]

Nope, we don't celebrate anybody else's anniversary. One exception, we did celebrate my parent's 50th anniversary. They took all their children and grandchildren to Disney World. That was their way of celebrating, though, and that was WONDERFUL. That was the first time our kids went to Disney World. We send my parents an anniversary card but not anybody else and I don't think anybody else sends us one, with the exception of our grown daughter.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I would say "Happy Anniversary" to someone if I knew it was their anniversary, but that's about it. I don't even know when my parents anniversary is. I hope that doesn't make me a horrible person! My Mom always calls me the week after my anniversary to say "Happy Anniversary" because for some reason she remembers it being on a different day than it is.....and she paid all the bills!

We really don't make a big deal about Anniversaries in my family. DH and I have both forgotten ours at least 2 times and we've only been married for 13 years.

 

[formill]

We don't really celebrate anyone's anniversaries- we did all go -the whole family-kids/grandchildren to Florida this past December for my parents 50th anniversary but for the most part my husband and I don't even do anything special for our own anniversary.

 

[C.Ann]

I will wish others "Happy Anniversary" - and often send a card if it's a significant one (25th; 50th)..

DD's IL's do dinners out for every occasion - their anniversary (as well as DD's and her DH's); birthdays; school concerts; graduations; last day of school; etc..

I think it's just a difference in families.. Some feel that "every" event calls for a party; dinner out; gifts; etc. - and others don't..

Neither is "right" or "wrong".. It's just the way it is..

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

thanks for all the feedback! i was beginning to feel like i was being a witch for not wanting to spend my anniversary with the whole family, at least i know it's ok to feel that way(not a witch, but to just be alone on our anniversary lol!)

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My mom is on her 5th marriage. I gave up long ago.

My dad--if he ever gets a second divorce, I'll celebrate that anniversary....privately.


I believe in honoring a parent for a higher level annivesary--25th, 30th etc....

The mandatory celebrating an intimate occasion--just screams W-E-I-R-D to me.

 

[bumbershoot]

I don't feel the need to pay attention to the anniversaries of friends or family, and I have no interest in their paying attention to ours. I think a wedding/dating anniversary is between the couple! Now, for a big deal one, 25 etc, that's fine for a party, or if the couple wants to throw a party (without gifts) and invites others, that's fine...but for someone to insist that you pay attention to their anniversary every single year, and make a big deal out of paying attention to yours...that just wouldn't work for me.