And THAT's when I threw up on my grandmother. p.17: We're back!

[mousescrapper]

a novel huh? Amazing ! truly! and I'm just trying to figure out how to fit in 20 min of excerise and a real shower each day.

OK OK that is the hint, yes I'm logging off now and get that stuff done!

looking forward to reading more about your upcoming Dis trip and your life!

 

[winkers]

Ashley........................Ashley??????

 

[Lovemy3babes]

Ashley! I'm joining in on this fun ride. You are a hoot. You and your family sound just wonderful. I can't wait to read even more pre-trippie planning.

 

[jordanyosh]

 

[carissanboys]

She's busy writing her novel folks!

 

[dairyqueenmom]

Hey Ashley,

I hope the book is going well and by now you have gone to your Dr.'s appointment, I know all of us here are waiting on pins and needles to hear how it went. I have finally gotten all caught up with your trip report. I am sort of inspired to write my own, but I doubt I could be as funny as you.

Looking forward to hearing more of your stories.

 

[Shmu]

Hope life is giving you time to write your novel.
Keep us posted.

 

[LaLaroo78]

Hi Ashley!

I see your trip is approaching fast. Any new details?

Have a great day!

Michele

 

[ashleypmo]

Missed you guys!

I actually tried to post a few weeks back, but for some reason I couldn't get the system to let me. When I finally did, just as I hit the 'submit' button, everything just blew up. I was so frustrated I couldn't even deal with it.

I do have a long post regarding my doc appointment, but I'll have to get to it later. It was actually the post I typed that blew up, so it's a pain to have to redo it.

The novel is coming along great! I've joined a writers' group, and gotten a lot of great feedback.

Trip is coming soon! 30 days! Ohmygosh! That's only 4 weekends away (which is relevent because weekends are the only time I can get any errands, etc. done).

I'll post the doc update later!

 

[winkers]

Ashley!!!!!! I was worried about you!

So, do you want to set up a meet?

 

[jenna]

Hi Ashley!

Glad to see you are back!!

That's awesome about your novel!

Looking forward to hearing about your Dr's appt. You actually inspired me to make an appt. with my gyn. Haven't been since 7/2004. Had that yesterday and everything was .

Hope Mason is doing better with his citric acid intolerance!

Your trip is so close!!!! It will be here before you know it!

 

[ashleypmo]

Ashley!!!!!! I was worried about you!

So, do you want to set up a meet?

Yes, we must! I need to pull out my calendar and post my tentative schedule, then we can figure it out.

Where are you guys staying?

 

[ashleypmo]

Hi Ashley!

Glad to see you are back!!

That's awesome about your novel!

Looking forward to hearing about your Dr's appt. You actually inspired me to make an appt. with my gyn. Haven't been since 7/2004. Had that yesterday and everything was .

Hope Mason is doing better with his citric acid intolerance!

Your trip is so close!!!! It will be here before you know it!

I only go to the gyn when I have a baby, and since Mason is 3 yrs old now....

 

[ashleypmo]

So, I go pick up my MRI CD and report (last minute, natch) and head to this neurologist who is supposed to be like the best in town.

The nurse, Mark, checks me in, checks me out, takes my history, all that jazz, and tells me to hop up onto the table & the doc'll be right in.

So I hop. And I wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And in the meantime, I can hear everything going on outside the freezer--I mean, exam room. For instance, I hear Mark comment that he can't believe that Doctor Cooke isn't here yet. Then I hear Mark call Dr. Cooke to ask him if he's on his way in. Then I hear Mark process another patient, whom I'm assuming will get the same "hop up on the table and wait" speech.

Finally the doctor shows up--over an hour late!

"What brings you in today?" So I talk & he listens & he reads over Mark's notes & I talk.

A few times he stops to ask me for clarification, asks a few questions, things like that.

Then, he stops me and says:

"What we see lots of times in cases of clinical depression...."

Clinical depression? Did this guy read my chart? Did he even grab the right chart? Maybe he was in such a hurry he picked up that other guy's chart--he sounded depressed.

He goes on. Meanwhile, my mouth is hanging open. I'm like, "This guy is an absolute nut. He's a freakin' crazy person."

Finally, he pauses long enough for me to say: "But I'm not sad. I'm the happiest freakin' person I know. Ask anyone."

He says, "Clinical depression has nothing to do with being sad. It's true that a person with clinical depression will generally react much more intensely to sad circumstances, clinical depression itself is a physiological matter."

Evidently clinical depression can also cause neurological symptoms just like mine.

He asks me, "Are you always tired?"

"Hello? Didn't we just talk about this? Remember, four children, homeschooling, baby with Down syndrome, trying to start a nonprofit. Two goats, one horse, and a bulemic cat. Of course I'm tired. Who wouldn't be?"

"But you mentioned that you could sleep 12 hours or more at a time if you could."

Yeah. So.

"Did it get worse after your son was born with Down syndrome?"

Well, that's a tough one, because you see, after I decided as a homeschooling mother of three with a nursing newborn who also happened to babysit a two year old all day every day that being a general contractor and building my own house would be a really good idea, something just snapped in my brain that I've never gotten back. So to answer your question, I don't know that I would notice it getting worse.

Then I stopped and really thought about it. Thought about how after Mason was born I couldn't stand listening to music anymore. Before, anytime I was down or stressed, the one thing that made me feel better was going for a drive, cranking up the radio and singing along to the Rolling Stones or Carly Simon. Now I couldn't sing, couldn't listen.

As he went on, everything started falling into place. It was like looking back at my life through a new lens, a lens that made everything crystal clear.

I ask, "Can clinical depression make you feel like you have adult onset ADD?"

One of the telltale symptoms, he says. "Do you ever spend an hour on some simple task that you know anyone else could do in 5 minutes, but an hour later you haven't even made a dent?"

I resemble that remark.

Of course, for 18 years, I've thought I had Multiple Sclerosis. Now, that's depressing.

So anyway, the mystery is apparently solved. Originally I didn't want medication. But now I constantly see ways this is getting in the way of my being the best mom I can be, so I'm going to make an appointment to talk to him about it soon.

Ain't life funny?

 

[winkers]

Wow, sounds like quite a dr's appointment! Thank heavens you don't have MS! I've dealt with depression since my oldest was born 14 years ago. I resisted medication or even admiting it untill about 7 years ago. All I can say is try the meds! It made my whole world different. Not perfect, but I'm alot better mom & wife! I also seriously have ocd, which without meds would put me in a rubber room!

 

[dairyqueenmom]

Ashley it is so good to hear from you. I am so glad you got some answers. I would be more then happy to talk to you about the depression stuff. If you want to hear my story I would be happy to share. I am glad to see you are thinking about the medication. It made a huge difference in my quality of life and my kids. It was like a weight lifted off my sholders when the meds kicked in. Hey when will you be at AKL, we will be there May 3-9. I would love to meet, even if its just for a minute.

 

[mousescrapper]

Ashley,

glad to hear you did make it to the doctor's finally and despite the hard reality of your diagnosis...hopefully you can move forward w/ this and find ways to help.

My DH has had mild depression and anexity all his life, I've seen him off and on med's and the med's help.

Hope you can find some time to clue us in your last details of this great trip your planning!

Good luck and blessings

 

[Lovemy3babes]

Hey Ashley! I'm a fairly new reader to your awesome report. Glad you went to the doctor and got an answer. Can't wait to read more about your trip.

 

[jordanyosh]

At least there is some idea about what has been causing your symptoms....

If you decide to take meds just don't tell Tom Cruise...

Missed you

 

[winkers]

If you decide to take meds just don't tell Tom Cruise...

I have a few creative suggestions for Tommy to do with his vitamins!