Am I really supposed to feel sorry for my friend? (long vent)

[Wagamama]

Hi Jen!!! Love ya!!!

 

[Dan Murphy]

I have no opinion on your original question/thought, Jen, the one about your friend. I just wanted to wish you well, in your new job, your move and life in general.

Hope to see you in a few weeks.

Dan

 

[Sharon A.]

Since you said she was a good friend, I would just tell her she's whining too much. The great part about having close friends is that you can be honest with them.

 

[Kallison]

Holy Cow, I haven't read pages 4 & 5 but I did not for one second see why everyone is jumping on Doc. She didn't say those jobs were beneath her in any way, shape or form. I've never waitressed in my life and have no desire too, that doesn't mean I look down on those who do. I've worked in retail for several years and thinks it sucks, the pay, the hours and how the public treats you. Currently I'm an aide in a middle school, and some might say -- yuck, no way could I put up with that age of kids, but I personally love my job and the kids. I get paid peanuts but it is so rewarding, especially when they write stuff on the board like "Mrs. K is so cool" and "Mrs. K is da bomb - yo". I would do anything in my power not to work retail again or be a waitress, that is my choice not my opinion of the job.

 

[mivvers]

Hey Jen, reading this thread, these lyrics sprang to mind (to give you something different to read)


I'm not going down on my knees begging you to adore me
Can't you see it's misery and torture for me
When I'm misunderstood.

All the best with your new job! And has your friend responded to your PM yet??

 

[Planogirl]

I have a few friends that seem to go on and on about their problems and while I sympathize, I get tired of hearing about these things. I keep reminding myself that they probably just need to vent but it's hard to keep quiet particularly since I don't vent about these things much myself.

Good luck Doc. I kind of know how hard it can be to be out of your field, in debt and starting over. I hope that everything works out well for you now.

 

[C.Ann]

Good luck on the new job!!

 

[LunarLady]

Originally posted by Disney845
If people aren't picking on one person it is another. Why can't some people around here just grow up and get a life!

Amen, Disney. Amen.

For the record, if I had a friend like that who always was complaining, I'd tell him/her that their constant negativity is having an impact on my life and, if it doesn't stop, I'm going to have to limit my exposure to this negativity. It's one thing to have a lunch with someone and listen to them vent. It's quite another to be constantly immersed in their version of "Why life is unfair to me".

I've recently had to do this with a male friend of mine because I got sick and tired of listening to him talk about himself all the time. We only communicate in emails now because I just don't have the emotional strength anymore to be sucked down his "woe is me" rabbit hole. It's a pity, but it's something I had to do in order to get my balance back.

Good luck with your friend, Rafiki.

 

[pollyanna]

Originally posted by DocRafiki
She keeps telling me how worried and depressed she is because she can't afford to live on this new salary ).

(My "saving up" consisted of tax returns and transferring money from credit cards to my bank acct at a low interest rate, while paying off debt that I accumulated during school


When I ask if she has any available credit on cards to tide her over, she says she can't do that because of high fees. OK, I'm way past the high fee stage.



Flame away.

Your friend sounds like she is serious about not getting deeply in debt. Your solution to her is to borrow from credit cards to 'live", which is fiscally unwise.

Yes...I doubt you will hear from her anytime soon on financial advice.

 

[bumcat]

I believe the question was should I feel sorry for my friend?
A big no from me. It's obvious from your thread that even when she gets in trouble someone bails her out and because she gets bailed out she would get no pity from me.

Doc - Part of what probably irritates you (besides the whining) is the fact that your friend is so dependent on others to help her where as you are very independent. I for one have no patience with people like that!!
I have no problem listening to friends who need to vent from time to time but I refuse to stay in a relationship with a whiner that refuses to help themselves when they can!

 

[minniepumpernickel]

I'm kind of going through this weird, jealousy thing with one of my friends in RL right now. It's strange, because I'm usually not the type of person to get involved in those things. I 'm just trying to distance myself from her for now. I don't like waking up everyday knowing that I am envious of this person. It's a long story!

I hope you can work your situation out! Good luck!

 

[ChiTownZee]

I was just wondering how old Doc was that life is passing her by. I thought she was pretty young


If it were me I would just say something to the friend like "Oh I understand, since I've been out of work since xyz, it's tough"