Am I making too big a deal of this?

[Zeebs]

My son will start school in September.

He currently attends a nursery 3 days a week BUT it isn't the nursery attached to the school.

We had a parent meeting yesterday which to be honest didn't give me much information, I was expecting a more comprehensive session, but found it was just basics, like where to park, what to put in the lunches, don't take holidays in term time etc.

I had taken my son with me because I assumed it would include a tour around the school.

The first part was "your child will be comfortable in his/her transition to reception as they know where everything is already from being in Nursery" I know my son is not the only child coming from other nurseries. I got the feeling they couldn't care less about your child if you chose not to join their nursery. The teacher interupted the Dep Principle and said they will be shown everything when they arrive tomorrow for those who don't attend the nursery. She is lovely, she went to my sons nursery and spoke to the kids moving on and really did help my son with his worries (she had overheard me telling his nursery teacher that he had been quite upset about the move)

My biggest gripe about it all is that tomorrow they have a transition session that parents are NOT welcome to stay at. I am expected to drop my 4 year old off at a strange place, where he only knows a few people, he doesn't know where everything is and just wave goodbye and leave.

Am I right to think that this is a little odd or am I just reading too much into it as a sleep deprived hormonal Mum.

I did manage to get him a tour of the school after the meeting yesterday but felt like it was a big problem. He did feel much better after having this, and meeting his teacher again. He asks each day if I can stay with him and that he is worried and scared.

I think he will be ok and we have the advantage of him being in a nursery so he is use to being left with them, but I really feel for the poor kid that may not have been to nursery and tomorrow morning comes and it is see you later.

It doesn't help that I am all very new to the way of doing things, my school knowledge is from New Zealand, there you start when you turn 5 and regardless of where your pre-schooling was done, you have a settling in period where a few mornings you and your child goes, then just your child for a few mornings and then see you later have fun.

Sorry it is long, I am sure he will be fine. But would it bother you?

Kirsten

 

[Dimplenose]

I think it's normal for the child to visit without mum. Some schools will run a coffee morning in another part of the school for the parents but some don't.

My own children started with a couple of short "storytime" visits the term before they started school.

 

[strawberry blonde]

When my sons started in reception ( now almost 18 and 15) the school invited the children and their parents for 2hrs on a Monday afternoon. This was for 3 Mondays and on the last one, the parents went into the school hall for a talk about the school and the children stayed in the classroom with their new friends and teachers. It was nice that you could take your other children with you too and when my youngest started school, he remembered going there with his big brother. It also gave the Mums the chance to meet one another as it was very informal, a bit like toddler group.

It really did help especially as my son didn't attend the school nursery but he looked forward to going meeting his new friends on a Monday.

Try not to worry ( of course we all do) as children adapt pretty well. My eldest used to cry when I left him at nursery but my youngest used to ask me if I could leave him a bit longer as he was having fun .

 

[2Tiggies]

I think that they have learnt over time that chidlren settle more quickly if you get them straight into the normal daily routine from the outset. DD was 3 when she started nursery. Similar you to, I was asked to drop my DD off and say goodbye. She HOWLED - I could still hear her as I walked away from the building to the gate and could see her (she had been picked up by a staff member) lunging at the window to try and get to me.

When I returned a few hours later (2 hours if I recall correctly) she was very pleased to see me .... so she could show me all the things there were to do there. She was EXTREMELY clingy and I did not expect this.

When she started school 18 months later, we were asked to come into the classroom on the first day. That was fine. The next day we were told to drop them at the gate. DD was in good company when she was very upset for several days when I left her. The problem? The precedent was set on the first day: Mum comes in with me. Then it changed.

 

[joolz1910]

I can remember dropping off my 2nd DD for her first afternoon of 'big school'. She walked in so bravely despite knowing nobody and I blubbed like a baby in front of the other mums. It's harder on the mums than the kids. Your little boy will be fine but prepare yourself for tears on his first day - and I mean yours not his.

 

[Zeebs]

Thank you everyone for your input, it has made me feel a bit better.

I am sure he will be fine, and you are right it is probably just me being a big cry baby.

I guess I am just use to the way the nursery did it and it worked nicely for us. We both went in together for a couple of hours, while I went over all his likes, dislikes, allergies etc he was able to join in if he wanted or just sit with me. He joined in, then on the next settling in session I sat in corner while he got more involved.

Then it was leave him, no tears from him, with my second it was the same deal (although he did cry for a week each time I left)

I wonder when or if though they want to talk to me about things like his allergies, I have listed them down on his paper but will they not want to discuss them?????

Oh well we will see how it all goes tomorrow, I will come back and report. He did tell his little brother tonight (they share a room) "Now Seth I need a good night sleep tonight as I am going to Big School in the morning so you can't muck around tonight and keep me awake" LOL

Kirsten

 

[Dollyrar]

They say that kids often pick up on the tension that their parents feel with this initial part of the school experience, so maybe they've had bad experiences in the past were some parents have caused kids to become even more upset than they perhaps would have otherwise?

I'm sure it will be fine. It's a moment that all of us went through ourselves at some point, and I'm sure our parents worried just the same! My mum was probably glad to get rid mind, I was a little devil!

 

[hildasmuriel]

I'm hoping there is space on the admission form for allergies etc. It may be worthwhile checking at the office that this is noted in his records and the first aider is aware of it - they should ask you about the severity of the allergy - and what would be the consequences if he came into contact with the item.
If it is a severe life affecting allergy (or if he cannot take the free milk) then the teacher will need to remember also.

If it is anything like our school, the office will be glad to have you clarify things. Almost half of the parents of last years Reception intake stated on the admission form that their child had allergies. To such things as cold drinks, chocolate, eggs, milk and medicines. Fortunately most of them turned out to be "doesn't like" or "won't eat" rather than allergies.

 

[Dimplenose]

.
If it is a severe life affecting allergy (or if he cannot take the free milk) then the teacher will need to remember also.

Free milk? I thought this was phased out years ago - we certainly don't get it at the school where I work. We do get fruit for the under 7s though.

As for allergies - we have a notice board in the staff room especially to highlight the children who have allergies that we need to be aware of.

 

[natalielongstaff]

Free milk? I thought this was phased out years ago - we certainly don't get it at the school where I work. We do get fruit for the under 7s though.

Our school gets free milk...and i claim it as a childminder for the children in my care

 

[PJB71]

The primary school were my DD's attend/attended hardly has any induction.

They have 2x1hour sessions, one in the morning and one in the afternoon ~(funny enough they are taking place this week)

After that they are expected to line up in the playground on there 1st morning they start in September, and start full time school straight away.

As parents we had once induction evening were there was a talk from the head and the reception teacher and a brief look around the school and that was it.

The school dosnt have a nursery attached to it, so alot of the children are all strange to each other when they 1st start.

Milk is not provided in school it a "Water only" school although they do provide fruit at morning playtime for the infants.

Try not to worry too much, sometimes I think its harder for the parents than for the actual child. I cried for the 1st week when both of mine started

 

[hildasmuriel]

Libby - your school should be receiving free milk for the under-5s. As part of an EU subsidy, all children are entitled to it until their 5th birthday. In reality most schools pay a bit towards it so that all children in Reception receive it, even after they have had their birthday.

 

[wideeyes]

My DD school you drop the kids of too and leave. My DD was one of a very few that didn't go to the school nursery as she went to a private day nursery and she settled in okay. On her first day it was her pulling me into the class room too as I felt lost.

 

[Zeebs]

Thank you everyone,

He had his settling in yesterday, he was a little nervous and as the time grew closer he shrunk a little bit closer to me. However, when his teacher came out to get him he recognised her and happily trundled off to join the class.

Upon picking him but he nearly knocked me over, (nice to be loved ) He said he didn't like it. He didn't like the toilets ???? and said he was very shy.

He isn't normally a shy or retiring type. He hasn't said anything else so I have just left it and see what happens and see if he comes to me with anything else.

I have found out through a friend though, whose son attends the school nursery, that they are having another settling in session on Wed. Now we have not been invited to this.

So I rung this morning and just said, that I had heard there was another session on Wed and what time did I need to drop him off

It is very hard as a parent, walking the line of doing the best for your child and not stepping on the toes of the administration or staff. Kind of like the stories you hear in restuarants when people send stuff back to the chef

Kirsten

 

[PJB71]

Kirsten, did all of your sons new class mates go to the induction when he did the other day?

Its just that I know at my DD's school they only take them in small groups, of about 5 at a time, which is why its spread over a few days?

Im sure in time he will be fine, you will have tears belielve me, but I bet most of them will be your!!