Am I Just Selfish?

[Oh So ONO]

I'm currently struggling with the need to go back to WDW. I took a wonderful solo trip to Disney World last summer. It was my 6th trip to WDW, and my first time back in nearly 11 years.

My partner of 13 years is not a fan of Disney Parks. He accompanies me to Disneyland every few years, but spends more time at the hotel than the park. In fact, he's only been to WDW one time. That was in 2000, when he joined me for half of my trip.

We take many vacations together. We've been to several different countries. And we go to Hawaii, sometimes twice a year. While money is not necessarily an option on our vacations, It often becomes a problem whenever I bring up WDW. He clearly doesn't want to go to Disney World, but he also doesn't want me to go back.

Am I being selfish for wanting to go back to Disney World this year or possibly next year? I don't necessarily like the idea of separate vacations. But I also don't like the feeling that I'm being prevented from enjoying the Disney Parks that I love. Has anybody else out there experienced a situation like this?

Edited to remove errors caused from entering original text on my smartphone.

 

[ashley0139]

If he doesn't like it, I definitely think you should do a solo or trip with friends. There's no reason to force him if he doesn't like it. He'll resent you for making him go and you'll resent him for making your trip miserable. If you go on several vacations a year, there's no reason you can't do one separately. Plus it'll save you money to only have to pay for one person to go. If you were trying to make him go, or only have your vacations be to WDW and no where else I would say you were selfish. But couples are allowed to have separate interests. Go on a long weekend solo trip or something and have fun!

 

[lawboy2001]

There is nothing wrong with being selfish at times to get what you need.

It's clearly important to you to be able to get to WDW every so often, and I think you are entitled to have that happen. Your partner will understand (maybe be relieved?) and I'm sure you can come up with a rebuttal if there is any financial concern raised...

 

[Oh So ONO]

I know I should be able to go if I want to. It's just hard to get past the guilt for being selfish. He is a great guy, but can be frugal when he wants to. He makes more money than I do, but I can certainly afford a trip on my own. Maybe I should wait for him to bring up our next vacation, and then I can talk about going to WDW. If he has no interest, then I'd feel better about going on my own. I'm sure something will come up in the next few months.

 

[Zooshoveller]

Have you talked to him about why he doesn't like WDW? To big, hot, crowded, too many kids, not relaxing enough... Would he like to stay at BC or BW during Food & Wine? Maybe do a park tour or a driving experience?

 

[DrGaellon]

If he doesn't want to go, but has also made it clear that he doesn't want YOU to go on your own, then in my book, HE'S the one being selfish. He's keeping you from something you love to suit himself.

 

[BuddyThomas]

I feel your pain. My partner is the same exact way, and as a result I have not been since 2008. I put my foot down this year and told him we are going and that is it. He actually got excited and into it when I booked Yacht Club, and started showing him Stormalong Bay and booking cool restaurant reservations. Unfortunately, his grandmother dropped dead 18 hours before we were supposed to get on the plane and the trip was cancelled. We are now re-booked for September. He is actually now counting down the days. Never expected that. Anyway, good luck to you and I hope it works out somehow.

 

[Oh So ONO]

Well, I lost this one. As expected, my partner doesn't want to go to WDW with me, and he is very much against me going on my own. I can't seem to win when it comes to this subject. We'll be going to DLR in a few weeks (for a weekend). That will have to be my Disney fix for the foreseeable future.

I know I should be happy about going to Disneyland. But before I met him I was able to go to DLR 2 or 3 times a year. We've been together for 13 years, but in the past decade I've only been to DLR three times. One of those visits was with him.

Sorry about the rant. It's late, and I don't have any other source for venting.

 

[Zooshoveller]

Any friends or relatives who could go with you?

 

[HippieChickadee]

Well, I lost this one. As expected, my partner doesn't want to go to WDW with me, and he is very much against me going on my own. I can't seem to win when it comes to this subject. We'll be going to DLR in a few weeks (for a weekend). That will have to be my Disney fix for the foreseeable future.

I know I should be happy about going to Disneyland. But before I met him I was able to go to DLR 2 or 3 times a year. We've been together for 13 years, but in the past decade I've only been to DLR three times. One of those visits was with him.

Sorry about the rant. It's late, and I don't have any other source for venting.

He doesn't want you going alone? For safety reasons? Would he be ok with you going with a friend? Or does he just not want you to go?

I go several times a year for long weekends with my Sister. Husband doesn't care much for Disney nor does he like heat/humidity.

Not sure that makes me a bad wife.

 

[CuppieCake04]

My husband is extremely frugal (i just call him CHEAP) And he dislikes crowds and kids..LOL

Well I give him the option every year of going with us on a vacation.

I tell him (I DONT ASK) We are going to WDW (or where ever we are going) and you can come with us and have fun or you can sit here at home alone. Either way me and the kids are going.... every year he declines to go.. This year he said you are not going to WDW you just went last year, to which my reply was...

When did I become YOUR child?? YOu are my husband not my keeper. he closed his mouth and asked how long will you be gone...

Dont give your partner to much authority over you.

If he truly doesnt like WDW, plan your trip, and plan im a solo trip as well.

That is what I did this year, I LOATHE fishing/camping much to boring for me. But that solitude is something hubby likes, so while we are in WDW i rented him a camp on the river for a week. He can be his hermit self and I can live it up in WDW...

 

[BuddyThomas]

Cuppie, I love that!

 

[DVCDan36]

I have to agree with everyone here, this is a control issue from your partner. He is the one being selfish. As long as the issue is not money, which your responsibilities should be taken care of first, then there should be no issue in you taking a solo trip by yourself (or with a friend/family).
I have had the same experience in relationships past wherein my partner didn't want me to do anything without him (though ironically he could go without me). I finally wised up that this was control and moved on. Now I am not telling you that you should end the relationship, but remember if your feelings, wants, and needs are not being met, then the relationship will end when you are fed up. Let him know that you love and support him, but your feelings should be taken into account. Nothing says you need to vacation together or be together 24/7.
Have a sit down with him to discuss both of your feelings and come up with a resolution that satisfies both of you.