Am I just a crabby old lady?

[minniecarousel]

There is a family with two young boys directly across the street from us. The parents sit in lounge chairs in the driveway while their kids play out front. By "out front" I mean in the street and across the street. One will be on their side of the street and one in front of our house. They'll throw a ball back and forth across the street. Sometimes they have to retrieve the ball in my rose bushes or in my newly planted flower bed. I was on the phone to my sister when I saw one picking his way through the flowerbed. I opened the front door and asked him to be careful as they were newly planted.

I must have scared them, because they went back to their side of the street and talked to the mom sitting out there. I notice that they stopped playing and closed the garage door. Maybe they were about ready to go inside anyway.

My kids are grown. We didn't live in this house when they were little. We lived 5 doors from their elementary school, so once they were old enough, I let them go there to play. I do remember the lady next door (divorced with a grown son, living by herself) once asking if my boys could "keep it down" as they were very loud and rambunctious.

I fear that I'm becoming a crabby old lady. Is there someone in your neighborhood who doesn't want kids playing in their yard?

 

[luvmy3]

Yup, you're a crabby old lady I mean that in the nicest way possible ( I would have asked them to be careful to). We don't have any neighbors who mind, but out of respect I wouldn't let my kids play in their yards. If they are playing in the street and have to retrieve something thats different, I don't consider that playing in the yard.

I remember once I was rolling a metal washer and it went in someone's driveway and I went to get it. The woman came out screaming at me so bad that I was afraid of her until I moved out of my house when I was 20. I never want to be THAT lady

 

[ilovejack02]

I really don't think you are being a crabby old lady.

I have a 7 yr old boy. If I saw him going to retrieve something out of a neighbors garden, I would stop him and get it myself. Little children are clumsy and not always careful about where they step.

Now if you screamed at them like a crazy crabby old lady , then yes you might want to rethink dealing with it in that manner lol.

 

[mhsjax]

Nope you aren't crabby. I am 46, I have 3 kids. OUr next door neighbor's, are doing some major landscaping on their front yard. Anyhow, there are some really rowdy kids at the bus stop. I was watching one yesterday and I saw him stomping on their brand new sprinkler. I told my DS not to walk or play in their yard yet as they had just laid the new sod. I also told the other one not to stomp on the sprinkler and to stop acting stupid. He looked at me like I had 3 heads. I was yelling really loud. But hey I don't care, if parents can't watch their kids, then I will be more than happy to take care of their business for them.

 

[minniecarousel]

Yup, you're a crabby old lady I mean that in the nicest way possible ( I would have asked them to be careful to).

well, thanks (hehe) I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want the truth!

It cracks us up the way the folks sit out front in their driveway. I'm impressed that they want to keep an eye on their kids. The funny thing is they have a great sport court in their backyard.

Even when the kids are standing on our front lawn, I'll wave when we pull out of our garage. Trying to be friendly.

 

[luvmy3]

well, thanks (hehe) I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want the truth!

It cracks us up the way the folks sit out front in their driveway. I'm impressed that they want to keep an eye on their kids. The funny thing is they have a great sport court in their backyard.

Even when the kids are standing on our front lawn, I'll wave when we pull out of our garage. Trying to be friendly.

I was just kidding I swear. I don't think there is anything crabby about not wanting kids trapesing through your yard and your gardens, its all in how you handle it. I think you did what most people would do. Like I said, there was a neighbor who I was petrified of because she was a psycho and I wasn't even on her lawn or in her gardens. She was definitly crabby

 

[Tuffcookie]

OP, There's nothing wrong with expecting parents to teach their children respect for other's property. If that makes you a crabby old lady I will have to join!

TC

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

I have a 9 yr old boy that is quite rowdy, and all my close neighbors know they have my permission to fuss if he gets in their flowers or messes up their yard. He'd probably listen to them better than me, anyway .

But to answer your question, no you aren't a crabby old lady...

 

[ajk912]

You aren't being overly crabby, but I would be a bit taken aback if someone opened their door and said that to me or my kids. It's not like it was intentional, I would almost feel spied on. We would be more careful to avoid your property in the future, absolutely. I think it just goes with suburbian life that you'll have stuff like this happen. But, I am in the days with the young kids, so I am thinking from the opposite side.

 

[Iott Family]

Our neighbors to the left of us, the wife, is a crabby witch. My DH calls her Nevercracker from Monster House. Why she built a house in a neighborhood full of families is curious. She yells at my kids and other children playing. She yelled at my youngest DD age 4 for riding her tricycle on the sidewalk in front of her house. She told people that our youngest was a "retard". Who uses that word in this day and age and why would you say that about a child?? then ask the mother of that child what is wrong with her child becuase she is loud when she plays outside.... I thought kids were supposed to be louder outside then in???? Thats why we have our inside voices and such. She sits upstairs in the front of her house by the window watching everything and then yelling at people for various perceived infractions

Please dont become this woman! I agree that the kids should not be in your yard or your landscaping.

 

[MushyMushy]

Maybe a little crabby but not unreasonable.

I fully admit that I'm turning into a crab. When we go out to eat I cringe when we get seated next to a kid, no matter how cute. I honestly have nothing against kids -- I love them! But I'm just at an age where mine are older and I don't want to be bothered with little ones. I hate being that way and I hope I outgrow this phase.

Send me a teenager, though, and I'll talk to them for hours. I love teens.

 

[minniecarousel]

Our neighbors to the left of us, the wife, is a crabby witch. My DH calls her Nevercracker from Monster House. Why she built a house in a neighborhood full of families is curious. She yells at my kids and other children playing. She yelled at my youngest DD age 4 for riding her tricycle on the sidewalk in front of her house. She told people that our youngest was a "retard". Who uses that word in this day and age and why would you say that about a child?? then ask the mother of that child what is wrong with her child becuase she is loud when she plays outside.... I thought kids were supposed to be louder outside then in???? Thats why we have our inside voices and such. She sits upstairs in the front of her house by the window watching everything and then yelling at people for various perceived infractions

Please dont become this woman! I agree that the kids should not be in your yard or your landscaping.

Oh, goodness! I could never be like that! I'm not concerned about getting that bad! (I keep remembering the next door neighbor we had as I mentioned above - whose kids don't yell when they're playing outside?!) No, I think I'm more concerned about my plants, but a little ticked that they play on my lawn.

The only reason I even saw them out there today was because I was on the phone and wandering around the living room/dining room.

 

[Evi]

A little itty bitty bit crabby..But there really is nothing wrong with that. I live on a street where the kids put out cones and netting and you name it they take over. As long as their not in my yard I'm ok with it. It does get a little loud sometimes but I love the fact that they can play on their street and their safe. Its just something I remember from when I was a kid we would play in the yard the driveway and in the street and cars used to stop. But I wouldn't want them in my flowers either.

 

[Carl Fredricksen]

On a whiteboard where I work someone wrote:

"Life's Short: Use the Good China!"

I say go outside and play ball with them in the street. They will be more respectful of your stuff than anyone else on the block. Plus as long as they don't completely trash the flowers, who cares?

I agree with others that there is a line to be drawn, but as long as they don't get too rowdy, it's good to have kids around. They help keep us young.

 

[Took]

I still remember the "crabby old man" up the street from us when I was a kid. He yelled at us for walking through his front yard one day. His lawn was beautiful with rich, soft grass. We thought it was like walking on carpet, and were so taken aback when he yelled at us, LOL!

Now that I have a yard of my own, I do understand how much work he put into his lawn care and why he was upset. We were trespassing. However, I have always allowed (and encouraged) the neighborhood kids to walk on my lawn (it's a nice cut through). I confess, however, that I don't do much landscaping or work on the lawn (besides mowing it). So, there is not much kids can do to it.

OP, others are right. I think it's all in how you handle it. Maybe, sometime when you're neighbors are out, you could go have a friendly chat and explain yourself (that you are glad to see the kids playing, and were only worried about the roses). I'll bet the boys will be careful AND you won't look "crabby." Maybe, you'll even make friends of the kids--the best scenario.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Don't get me started on poorly mannered children, in a neighborhood full of families with great kids!

Our neighbors (the house next door is unfortunately become a rental) have three children that the do not control. The woman there (g-d, she can't really be their mother, can she) has NEVER spoken in a decent tone to those poor kids. All we've ever heard her do is yell at those boys.

So, I totally understand where they get their attitude from, but they are extremely difficult. We've tried the polite, "please don't bang on the screen, ok? It will break it and all the bugs will come in," to no avail. The kids are wild and run rampant throwing balls at windows, leaving their toys scattered all over our back garden, etc.

We don't do anything about it (really, what's to do) but I do intend on speaking with the owner of the home when I next see him.

Children can really be children! Our HOA has a playground for JUST THAT REASON. They can also, yell, run, scream, fight, do whatever they please IN THEIR OWN gardens!

It's actually made it nearly impossible for us to use our pool and lanai.

So yep. If crabby means not wanting your property harmed, or your enjoyment of your own pool and lanai disrupted means we are crabby, then color me crabby.

I prefer to call it expecting to be treated as we treat others.

 

[RadioNate]

Little crabby but nothing unreasonable. I think they should be able to play in the neighborhood, in front of the houses without complaint. That is just what happens now a days. Especially in newer neighborhoods where you have tiny yards and little community space.

But if they are constantly in your flower beds, that is disrespectful. I'm constantly on the bus stop kids because they are always in the neighbors flower beds, it is really annoying.

I don't think you were nasty to them. You asked him to be careful, that is reasonable.

Now if you were screaming "get off my lawn" any time they were in front of your house even if they were on the sidewalk or street, I'd think you were more on the crabby side.

 

[shortbun]

Make some koolaid and take it out the next time you see them playing. Yep, you're crabby, lol! People are more important than flowers. kwim?

 

[HonnyDipp]

NO you are not being crabby at all! I have three kids and I've spent ALOT of time on our rose bushes in my front yard. If my kids go any where near my rose bushes, they get the "look" from me. I dont have to say a word, they just get the "look" and they know to back away. I wish I thought a neighborhood kid would come anywhere near my yard. Especially if the parents are sitting outside with them. I have no problem saying something if they are on my property.

 

[Ceila]

I vote for "not crabby," since you just asked them to be careful of the flowers. I have two kids, 8 and 11, and I've tried to always teach them to respect the neighbor's property. My rule for them has always been that they don't belong in someone's yard unless they playing with someone from that house. It's just plain good manners. If a ball gets tossed too far, I would expect the kids to retreive it carefully, then adjust their game or position so it doesn't happen again.