Am I a terrible Disney Bride?

[figment fan21]

Ok so if you haven't read my PJ DF and I are planning an escape wedding at SBP. We're hoping for 10/16/2010. DF and I are VERY excited about it!

We started planning a traditional home wedding and not only were there alot of family issues but we were going to be paying for it ourselves and the more we looked into pricing the more un-realistic is seemed. So after alot of talking and number crunching the escape wedding was the best option for us. Regardless of what my soon to be in-laws and part of my family think.

But yesterday for some wierd reason I was looking at a picture of SBP and instead of that excited/giddy/happy feeling i normally get I got this feeling of complete and udder anxiety... .... i dont know why i got so nervouse all of a sudden. I started thinking about what my problem was and the only thing i could come up with is that i might be worried that i'll regret not having a traditional wedding. I have to say I felt guilty for even having this thought. I know that this is the BEST idea for DF and I, it will make us BOTH happy, and be an amazing day we will never forget. I just wish I didn't have that feeling lurking in the back of my head. Do any of you other escape brides or any brides who've had small destination weddings felt this way? Am I a bad bride???

 

[BecBennett]

Of course you're not a bad bride!!

I know how you feel. After returning from a trip to the states, and getting sick, I had serious 2nd thoughts about the whole destination wedding thing. It just seemed like too much trouble. So I started looking into local options to compare everything. It got pretty depressing.
I just kept comparing the two options and it didn't take long for me to be completely on board with Disney again. So maybe you should look into what a traditional wedding entails again and see how you feel about it now. It will either look a lot more appealing to you - and might be worth considering again, or it will remind you why you want a Disney wedding.
HTH!

 

[figment fan21]

Thanks Bec!

I totally know 100% in my heart that everything will be amazing... its my stupid brain thats causing the problem! When DFand I did out the math we figured out that we'll be saving ATLEAST 5 thousand dollars! Thats alot of $$$$. DF and I were doing alot of compromising when we were planning out home wedding, we were using a photographer that wasn't a professional and only did it on the side. We were using a friends boyfriend for a DJ, and weren't even going to get a limo. At least with the escape wedding the ONLY thing i'm compromising is the fact that there will be no reception. But i'd rather a reception at MK anyday!!! And with the money we're saving we book Randy for our photos so i KNOW they'll come out amazing!

I'm hoping that once everything is booked at the 8 months out mark i'll feel more relieved about everything.

 

[DISNEYMAGIC2005]

It is completely fine to feel the way you are feeling. I know that when I decided to have my wedding at SOG I was going up against a lot of things and part of me wanted to have a huge traditional wedding back home but then I decided that disney was more my style. I would really think about your choice because this is your day and you want to make sure that you are happy! Also if you are looking for something more traditional maybe you could check out the wedding pavilion. I think that it's beautiful and it seems traditional, and it has that disney stye to it! I would talk to your DF and you both will figure everything out! Good Luck and Happy Planning!

 

[AlternateEgo]

Well I am planning an at home wedding and I have felt the rush of anxiety many times. I think that just comes with planning a wedding.

If it makes you feel better, think about all the stress you don't have to worry about having Disney plan your wedding. Plus, you can always have a reception at home, later. Or even just a celebration, to cut down costs. Instead of having a catered reception, do a BBQ. Just to "celebrate" with the family that can't be there.

I am pretty sure that any destination wedding, there are some family or friends that want to be a pain.

 

[mermaidbride1108]

I have the same feelings - sometimes like I am having such a small wedding, am I going to regret not having a 'normal' wedding?

I've never been to a wedding that wasn't a Catholic Mass ceremony/Catering Hall Reception - so this is totally off the charts for me! I think what it stems from is that we are going against the norm - the norm being having a wedding close by to our home.

But also, I (and I don't mean this is a snotty way whatever, so I hope it's not taken that way) but I see the small sliver of envy on some brides that are having their weddings close to their home when I mention my Disney Wedding and I think that Wow, here I am wishing I was going to be able to do the traditional bouquet toss with 30 women falling all over to catch it & other traditional stuff that I don't plan to do at my super small wedding and they are wishing they were having photos taken in front of the castle. At this point, I just accepted that most Brides-to-be always second guess themselves at some point in the planning process.

Sometimes (and I know I can be one of these people) you think that you are going to miss out on something because you are going against the 'norm'. It's hard to kick those feelings to the curb, but it's sounds like you'll be very happy with your wedding, just now you aren't alone in feeling this way

 

[figment fan21]

It is completely fine to feel the way you are feeling. I know that when I decided to have my wedding at SOG I was going up against a lot of things and part of me wanted to have a huge traditional wedding back home but then I decided that disney was more my style. I would really think about your choice because this is your day and you want to make sure that you are happy! Also if you are looking for something more traditional maybe you could check out the wedding pavilion. I think that it's beautiful and it seems traditional, and it has that disney stye to it! I would talk to your DF and you both will figure everything out! Good Luck and Happy Planning!

Thanks Disneymagic.
DF and I BOTH agreed that the traditional wedding is NOT our style at all and that this will be the best wedding for us. I think I might try and find some ways to incorporate traditional aspects into the wedding.

Well I am planning an at home wedding and I have felt the rush of anxiety many times. I think that just comes with planning a wedding.

If it makes you feel better, think about all the stress you don't have to worry about having Disney plan your wedding. Plus, you can always have a reception at home, later. Or even just a celebration, to cut down costs. Instead of having a catered reception, do a BBQ. Just to "celebrate" with the family that can't be there.

I am pretty sure that any destination wedding, there are some family or friends that want to be a pain.

This is very true! I'm so happy I don't have to deal with the craziness of a home wedding. And DF and I were planning on renting a tent and a bunch of tables and chairs and having a party in our backyard when we got back. Nothing fancy just a party to celebrate the marriage.

I have the same feelings - sometimes like I am having such a small wedding, am I going to regret not having a 'normal' wedding?

I've never been to a wedding that wasn't a Catholic Mass ceremony/Catering Hall Reception - so this is totally off the charts for me! I think what it stems from is that we are going against the norm - the norm being having a wedding close by to our home.

But also, I (and I don't mean this is a snotty way whatever, so I hope it's not taken that way) but I see the small sliver of envy on some brides that are having their weddings close to their home when I mention my Disney Wedding and I think that Wow, here I am wishing I was going to be able to do the traditional bouquet toss with 30 women falling all over to catch it & other traditional stuff that I don't plan to do at my super small wedding and they are wishing they were having photos taken in front of the castle. At this point, I just accepted that most Brides-to-be always second guess themselves at some point in the planning process.

Sometimes (and I know I can be one of these people) you think that you are going to miss out on something because you are going against the 'norm'. It's hard to kick those feelings to the curb, but it's sounds like you'll be very happy with your wedding, just now you aren't alone in feeling this way

You are so sweet! I'm glad i'm not the only one who had this feeling. I felt so selfish when i thought i'd be missing out because i wouldn't be throwing a bouquet or tossing a garter. The reality though was that even with the home wedding we only had a 65-75 person guest list. So even if i did throw a bouquet there'd only be 5 girls behind me to catch it! DF is going to be Best Man for his friend next month and they are having a big traditional wedding with over 300 guests. I can't believe i caught myself being jelouse of them when they would talk about it with us.

But I do have to say that after reading everyone's posts I felt ALOT better today. So thank you girls soooo much!

 

[jack_loves_sally]

You're not a bad bride at all!! I felt the same way on and off before our wedding too, so you're not alone there. I knew I wanted a Disney wedding, but some people around me did not feel the same way. A few times before the fact, I thought that maybe I was being selfish in wanting to have my wedding the way we did, but in reality I am soooo shy and quiet, and it would have been agony for me to have a big wedding....and it would have been big (my Dad is one of ELEVEN children!!!). Bottom line is it's YOUR wedding...you have to do what makes you happy...

 

[figment fan21]

You're not a bad bride at all!! I felt the same way on and off before our wedding too, so you're not alone there. I knew I wanted a Disney wedding, but some people around me did not feel the same way. A few times before the fact, I thought that maybe I was being selfish in wanting to have my wedding the way we did, but in reality I am soooo shy and quiet, and it would have been agony for me to have a big wedding....and it would have been big (my Dad is one of ELEVEN children!!!). Bottom line is it's YOUR wedding...you have to do what makes you happy...

Thats how DF and I are, we're shy when it comes to people we don't see very often. He'd be a wreck taking my garter off infront of everyone. To be honest i feel like a wedding should be a more intimate thing anyway. (no offense to anyone have a large wedding i think they're beautiful just my opinion thats all) Did you do a first dance with your hubby after the ceremony? That is something i'll be really bummed out about if we don't get to do. I know it'll only be with the violinist but i really really want to do one with DF. It'll mean alot to me.

 

[jack_loves_sally]

No we didn't do a first dance, but that was because I would have most definitely fallen on my face...or taken DH down with me, but they do give Escape brides the option do have a first dance, so you're all set there.

 

[Nikisha421]

I am attempting to plan a wedding for 10.10.2010 and I feel like this most days...I am happy you started this thread...I so want a huge wedding and could easily invite over 200 but then I think about the waste of money that isbut deep inside I am still kinda sorta willing to take on the expense...my mother and sister would help and my DFs fam would chip in a little but the bulk of such a huge wedding would be on us...DF is quiet and couldnt care less if it was the 2 of us or 200 ppl if thats what would make me happy...I could go on forever...I havent even started a planning journal just in fear that it would just look like i am a scatter brainwhich is t ruly not the case at all

 

[figment fan21]

No we didn't do a first dance, but that was because I would have most definitely fallen on my face...or taken DH down with me, but they do give Escape brides the option do have a first dance, so you're all set there.

This is good to know. I'm glad i can still have that moment with DF after the ceremony. Now i just need to pick a song to do it too!

I am attempting to plan a wedding for 10.10.2010 and I feel like this most days...I am happy you started this thread...I so want a huge wedding and could easily invite over 200 but then I think about the waste of money that isbut deep inside I am still kinda sorta willing to take on the expense...my mother and sister would help and my DFs fam would chip in a little but the bulk of such a huge wedding would be on us...DF is quiet and couldnt care less if it was the 2 of us or 200 ppl if thats what would make me happy...I could go on forever...I havent even started a planning journal just in fear that it would just look like i am a scatter brainwhich is t ruly not the case at all

Awe hun I totally know how you feel! DF and I were going to be paying for everything ourselves too and its VERY hard. You just have to do what makes you and your DF happy.
The way I see it, A disney escape wedding is the best destination wedding choice out there. You still get to feel like a princess for the day and have an amazingly beautiful wedding. We looked into the whole "sandles" resort wedding package and it wasn't "formal" enough for me. I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing the dress i already bought on the beach like that. So you have the comfort of knowing that no matter what Disney always makes their weddings beautiful... even escape ones.

 

[DisneyMoB]

You're NOT a terrible Disney bride!! My daughter is getting married at the WP next year and I'm delighted it's going to be a very small affair (just 6 of us which includes the bride and groom). All the family politics will be left far behind in the UK when we jet off to have a fabulous holiday and they have a very romantic wedding done exactly as they want. OK, she won't get the big send off, but neither will she get all the stress that weddings at home can bring. We're hosting a large family reception when we get back to the UK. She'll wear her dress, have more photos taken, have the whole cake/dinner/disco thing ... but no speeches or arguments about who is going to be responsible for getting Auntie XX to the venue/pay for the bridesmaids dresses/put names to the dozens of faces of people we haven't seen in years! And, of course, the wedding will be behind them so most of the nerves will be gone.

I think the long wait to get confirmation for Escape weddings is at the root of your anxiety. After seeing my daughter's stress levels steadily increase we took the decision to swap to a Wishes wedding. Getting her venue confirmed really helped. I know that's no consolation to you if that's not an option, but stick on in there .... once your date/venue/time is confirmed I bet you'll feel a whole lot more certain you've made the right choice.

All the best.

 

[Elsha]

I agree with DisneyMoB.
Once your stuff is set in stone you'll feel better. Either way, you're not a bad bride and have 0 reason to think you are.

BTW quick side note (sry new to the boards, I hope I'm not breaking any rules), DisneyMoB, your daughters wedding/reception sounds like a wonderful way to balance everything!

 

[DisneyMoB]

DisneyMoB, your daughters wedding/reception sounds like a wonderful way to balance everything!

Thanks Elsha. My daughter has just started her PJ (http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2196473) so you'll be able to follow her plans over the next 11 months and see if the best laid plans etc etc work out

 

[Nikisha421]

Figment Fan 21 thanks for the huge it was awesome...plus I just wanted you to know that you are def not the only confused DISNEY BRIDE out there!!!